Good day everyone who has decided to join and work on this "issue" as well as the lurkers who already have it "together". Congratulations to both camps.
Well, after reading your response to my first post here, I did have a couple of ideas. I do like the format that I chose to do in the main discussion group and, yes, I do not know why we can not work the same pink book but "substitute" money and/or finances in place of weight/pounds. I have always believed that "substance abuse" is "substance abuse", no matter what!
However; my caveat for myself, is that I want to finish with the first 41 days for my weight loss before starting over here but I will do that in about 7-8 days so I will restart with Day 1 here; using money and finances as my point of departure. "First things first".
I do like your plan already. I think the one thing that I really like about Dr. Beck's approach is that it is so "no nonsense" and it is also gives a much needed structure to a prevailing problem. Problems are meant to be solved. I firmly believe this. We just have to figure out a way to do so.
A few suggestions to the group who has assembled here
: I do not think that it is healthy in this area as well as in the main weight loss group to compare our individual circumstances with other people. I think it can create a "superior/inferior" relationship that is not healthy IMO. Instead, we are all peers and we are here to learn from each other's experiences, not to judge but to offer support. Let's keep this in mind as we move forward. For many of us, myself included, I feel a sense of defeat and shame at times in this area of my life. We do not need someone who does have their "act together", so to speak, to tell us what to do. If you don't need this then I am happy for you but don't be a "told you so" because, I for one, do not welcome such "bad vibes". I have been guilty of this myself in other areas so I do know that even the best of intentions can be misconstrued. "Let us share and support, not lead and advise." Ok?
thanks for joining this thread. I have a feeling that it can be quite a powerful one in assisting those of who really do have a desire to make this area of our life work as other areas do.
Glad to see you post from time to time. Keep up the good work. Sounds like this is an area you have got under control. Good for you!
Well, this is my personal situation
: neither my DH nor I ever made that much money. It is a long story but it is linked to our respective histories of having depression for half of our lives. The problem with coming out of a "coma" (which is what depression feels like) is that you are left to greet reality with being ill-prepared to face. I do believe that we have done the best we could with the given circumstances that we have had to deal with.
did you know that #1 reason why people file bankruptcy is because of enormous medical bills. When my Mom died in 2008, my Dad was left with $60K U.S. in bills related to her care of 11 months. He has $1200 a month to live on. HIs small income "supports" my sister, who was fired from her job because she can no longer perform it due to physical injuries while on the job (and in the midst of a workers' comp trial) as well as one of her daughters, who is a nursing student with two toddlers. That is a very small amount to stretch for that many needs. My sister and my niece situation will change within the next 2-6 months so that will free up his income but I know other people who are struggling like this. It is not as uncommon as you would think.
I am in a Catch-22 situation where I can not work because of my disabilities but I can't afford the necessary surgeries because I neither have the money nor the health insurance. Will this Affordable Healthcare Act help me out? I am not sure. So, my DH and I are living on a significantly reduced income as a result.
In my defense; I too have learned to practice many frugal habits and I feel that for the most part I am very responsible with our shared finances but I know that I could improve. "Necessity is the mother of invention." Between the fact that this recession here in the U.S. had us both lose our respective jobs and then me having disabilities that narrowed the kinds of jobs that I can do at this time; has made it very difficult for me to assist financially in increasing our income. We are living on about $15K per year right now. Our mountain of debt is over $100K. We do not qualify for any kind of financial assistance programs. We can not file bankruptcy because of one source of my DH's income is connected to a family business partnership which he is 1/7th owner of and which would impact 20 other people adversely if he did so.
So, for 2014, I am going to have to see what I can do to bring an income in our home, one way or another. I am thinking some kind of non-traditional income that can be done from the home. I haven't applied for disability yet but I am seriously considering it.
: However, having said that, we have a shared mountain of debt that we simply have not been able to pay off because of all that I shared above. I have cried about it and, of course, it has also affected my weight loss efforts since there have been times when we simply didn't have enough in the house to eat except carbs which are a serious no-no for diabetics.
I will admit that in the past I have fluctuated, much like my weight loss efforts, in how I have handled our finances. However, like you, ForMyGirls,
I had a meltdown this past fall and I just told my DH, I can't take this any more, "if I want things to be differently than I/we need to do things differently." Since he is so overwhelmed by all of this, I am taking the lead. I know how "delicate" his psyche can be at times so I forge ahead for us both.
Thanks for starting up this thread since I was thinking about returning to Debtor's Anonymous but with one car (and it is 14 years old with 200K miles on it) I am very careful about how much extra driving I do with it. This will do just fine for that purpose.
We can do this. One debt at a time. One day at a time.