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Beck Diet For Life/Solution – December 2013 – Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach

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Old 12-16-2013, 06:50 AM   #166
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Maryblu - I use tahini in baba ganouj (eggplant dip). Yummy. Here is a link to a recipe. http://www.mwcooks.desirepathdesign....eggplant-purée

National Parker - yay to you for being so honest with yourself about being OP - and well done for being so close to OP as well. Look forward to seeing you out some rungs back on the board tomorrow :-)

Beth - lovely to have you with us streakers! You sound like you are really getting back into the zone. Well done.

Team Total of 66 tonight.

My personal streak is 11 :-) Today felt like OP was normal life - which was exciting. A good balanced day - managed to get a good 3 hours of work in on a task that required lots of concentration and then used the time when my brain was tired to deal with a bunch of admin tasks and tick lots of things off the to do list.
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Part 1 July 2013 106.4kg to Feb 2014 90.4kg Part 2 Aug 2014 97.3kg to ??

Mini-goal 1: 95.6
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Old 12-16-2013, 07:15 AM   #167
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Thumbs up Monday - RIP Peter O'Toole with Thanks

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Super on plan food day to make the streak 26 days, CREDIT moi. Coffee hour spread displayed some 12 separate items, all choice. I had only a cup of coffee, as planned. The dark chocolate covered shortbread cookies were the most appealing. Specialty Norwegian sweet breads were right behind. Cheeses and dried fruits were just commodities. Lunch was the planned leftover Thai dinner from the night before. It was just as good as the first time. Yummy Tangerines were my after dinner snack; the other two snacks were skipped.

Exercise was an hour or so of shoveling wet snow and then my normal walk on icy sidewalks, CREDIT moi. Anything not shoveled is now frozen solid to the ground. Shoveling includes a path back to the compost bin so that we can keep hauling stuff out all winter.


maryblu – I join the crowd that uses Tahini to make hummus. Unfortunately, my homemade hummus is not even as good as the commercial brands and seriously inferior to that dipped from the vats at the Armenian grocery store. (Isn't half a lamb a whole lot of lamb?)

Joy (gardenerjoy) – LOL that the acorns are more attractive under snow. We still have red berries on one bush for any birds looking for food. Don't think they'll last long.

CeeJay - So good to hear, "I am doing great."

Cheryl (seadwaters) – Kudos for recognizing "I just have to tough it out." My mind boggles at the list of native Australian foods - none of which I've tasted. I'm upping my Australia trip on my Bucket List.

Pam (pamatga) – Neat analogy that learning to eat in restaurants is like learning to drive a car. Kudos for substituting Coca-Cola for alcohol in your Decide about Drinking strategy.

maryann - Love that your DH wrote "Do Not Clean" in the dust - creative mind, that.

nationalparker – Admiring the thought, "honesty with myself has to be a basis for it." Good luck planning for your party today.

Beth (bethFromDayton) – You're winning anytime you can write, "I ate what I intended." Welcome to the streakers.

Lulu (LuLu01801) – Yay for the knee dancing away. Gotta love, "I'm shooting for fabulous!!!"

LoseToAll - I recognize this business of, "Didn't taste as good as they used to." My fantasy about certain foods doesn't match their reality.

Valkyrie1 - Super Kudos for making that call so you could plan for your party - hope it went well. Yep, the person with the Avatar Valkyrie (without the '1') hasn't posted yet - so you won't be confused.

Readers -
Quote:
day 9 Select and Exercise Plan
did you know?
The Centers for Disease Control report that only 17.5 percent of dieters combine dieting with exercise. No wonder it's so difficult for most people to lose weight, much less keep it off.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 108.
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Old 12-16-2013, 10:54 AM   #168
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My 100%OP Day streak count is up to 5.

I passed the midway point in my exercise goal, midway through the month. That's always a good sign.

WI: -0.1 kg, Exercise: +50 715/1400 minutes for December, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

seadwaters: what an exciting event with very rare foods, indeed!
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Old 12-16-2013, 01:44 PM   #169
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Good morning, coaches. BBE, to answer your questions from before (which I only just now read), I found out about 3FC and Dr. Beck from a 3FC member named Jenn. She is also a member of Dukaners website. I lost my weight with the Dukan way of eating in conjunction with Dr. Beck's techniques. When I found Dr. Beck I felt like I was finally being given weapons to fight this war against weight that I have been fighting for so long. Jenn lives in Australia. She does Dukan and Beck also, and we support each other. I lurked 3FC for a while, and found your thread. I was duly impressed.

My party went quite well. I was glad I had called ahead. I ate salmon, asparagus, carrots, flatbread, iced tea, and two small desserts. I had lost weight this morning. I bounce around within a two pound range all week, so I am pleased with that.

Last edited by Valkyrie1 : 12-16-2013 at 01:46 PM. Reason: Typos on iPhone's tiny screen. Frequent problem.
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Old 12-16-2013, 02:40 PM   #170
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Smile Day 32 & 33: Prepare for Travel/Eliminate Emotional Eating

Day 32: Prepare for Travel: I have read this day but since traveling is not part of my daily eating issues like some here who travel for their job, I will pass making any significant comments on this. However, DH and I are discussing a trip next summer to Ireland and England so when that time comes I will return to this part of the book and reread it.

Day 33: Eliminate Emotional Eating: I think that some of the sabotaging thoughts or what they commonly call: "stinkin' thinkin" can morph into this if not careful; especially "I just don't care right now.". Usually the thought behind that statement is " I am disappointed, angry, feeling defeated, etc." and so why should I continue with this when I am feeling otherwise. This one is HUGE for me and has probably kept me coming back and back to the same place for years.

Earlier this month, I had to face that we would not be ready "financially" to make our big move which both of us are excited and so ready to do. I had to put it off to spring (we are thinking) so I was angry for three days. I knew that I didn't want to before the holidays but I did want to in January. I will admit there was a night of "I don't care" eating of the wrong kinds of foods which caused to change my ticker upwards

So, this is where the real nitty gritty work begins for me if I truly will meet my goal of being in maintenance around Thanksgiving-early December 2014. I have made goals in the past and I did not make them and the reasons were because I was sloppy in how I applied these Beckisms. Someone else here posted something similar a while back, sorry I don't remember who, so I can echo how demoralizing I felt and how angry I was at myself.

I am proud of myself that I am putting blinders on this holiday season and only focusing on everything about the season that is NON-FOOD. I have some ambitious weight loss goals between now and New Year's Day. I do not know if I will meet them and I am too afraid to state them here in case I don't but suffice to say I will do my best to apply these BDS and see what happens from there.

Credit for myself for this new "tradition" that I am starting NOW for this holiday season we are passing through. Also, yesterday I "sat with my hunger" (Day 12) and although I really wanted a second single serving of dark chocolate while I was decorating the tree (yes, it has taken me nearly three days since I want every angle covered "just so") but I DID NOT! So, I have really been working that Ol' resistance muscle to the point where it feels fatigued.

I lost 0.2 lbs. from what my ticker weight says but I am going to wait until I have lost a complete pound before I change it again. That will be a "new rule" and one that will give me an added incentive to keep pushing through the next couple of weeks.

I won't do personals since I know that my posts get ungodly long. I am more than 2/3 rds of the way through the original Beck book so then I can just be more cryptic about how things are going with me.

I will rejoin the streakers when I finish this book and can focus less on "getting" each days's message and more on what I am actually doing to work specific principles because I am sure that what OP for me then will be different than what it has been. I think it will be more about applying her principles in my daily eating than whether or not I had a cookie or not. So, until I have formulated my new definition of what OP is for me, I will just be a spectator. For all of those of you who are streaking, WTG my fellow Becksters.

Take care, Pam
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Old 12-16-2013, 06:19 PM   #171
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Holiday office party day. Breakfast was small (210 cal), and prepped the scrambled egg last night to be ready. Lunch was small (140 cal), but protein-packed to make me feel less hungry. I went in planning to bypass nearly everything, and thankfully was with a non-foodie, so we started with one plate at the buffet and I chose (conveniently forgetting Bill's rare and unique classification of treats) two small chicken tenders. WHY?? I never get fast food. Ever. I don't order chicken fingers in restaurants because they're nutritionally pits. But I chose that here. Not sure I can figure that one out. Then took two mini coconut pie bites the size of quarters and they were delish. Finished with a virgin pina colada from a machine mixer. No idea how to count all of that but with a lighter dinner, I'm counting this day as on track, since I planned to have this day be one of some indulgence, and I passed up the chocolate fountain, the sliders, all the rest of the miniature pies, cookies, candy, nachos, chips and spinach/artichoke dip, cheese/crackers, and about 20 other choices. But why the two chicken tenders?

Will aim for a light dinner, drink a lot of water, and stay busy tonight, which shouldn't be hard. No treats while I bake, since I'd had mine.

Snowy morning here and took me ages to scrape off the car, so am motivated to get more space cleared out in the garage to fit both cars inside.

I have NOT been reading my ARCs and need to work on that. I'm going to start fresh cards for the next three weeks only - and use that as one point per day for consulting those.

Weight this morning was under ticker for the third time - so I'm going to change it this week! Yay.
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Old 12-16-2013, 10:39 PM   #172
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Just a quick check in. Had an off plan cheese but cut down on some of dinner to stay in calorie range. So credit to me. I have my food plan for the week. A first for me.

Nationalparker. Great job on the ticker change!! Why oh why do we go for stupid stuff like chicken fingers. They are not even good food. But you did great on passing up the dip and chips.

Pam. Emotional eating is my downfall. I am just now coming to the point where I can almost talk myself out of the depression, defeatist thoughts that push me over the edge of insane eating. Mindfulness right. Just stepping back to look at the situation without food as a crutch is new to me. I'm sorry that you have had to postpone your move.

Valkyrie. What is Dukan?

BillBlueEyes. I have never tried Hummus but I love chickpeas so I think I would like it. I have seen it at Costco. Do you eat it with chips?

Gardenerjoy. Congrats on making it half way through the month of exercise. What do you do?

LuLu. Awesome the knee worked for dancing! I am glad you had a good time.

I hope you have a great night.
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Old 12-16-2013, 10:39 PM   #173
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I survived the "rare and unusual" food event relatively unscathed although I did have one more of the sweet course than I planned. I had decided to have one of each offering - they were very small serves. But there were two sweet offerings. I don't like sweets ordinarily but these were amazing... Unsurprisingly my weight is unchanged today but it was an unmissable event that was all about the food essentially. It was about cultural immersion through food and I did actually eat the crocodile and the kangaroo offered by the Indigenous staff. I survived that experience. I had the planned very light dinner

LuLu - I love the idea of "shooting for fabulous" - I need to raise my sights;
CeeJay - I enjoy your summaries that capture the discussions. Glad you are doing great and heading for your next weight goal;
BillBE - I like that "cheeses and dried fruit were commonalities" - I will have to treat most finger foods like that

Progress
Checked in 8 times in a row; Weight no change for day / +1 lb (total for week); Physiotherapy exercises - not done yesterday; Exercise - Not a lot; 6333/5000 steps; 4.3/3 km; Food - not to plan
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Old 12-16-2013, 10:59 PM   #174
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Hi all,

Today was an OP day. The woman who cleans our house left us a container of cookies. I substituted 2 cookies for my planned ice cream treat--but was otherwise just as planned. I feel good about that.

Today is Day 6 of recording everything I eat in MFP. This is my focus right now--I've got a calorie goal--but my focus is to record everything and so that's the streak I'm counting.

We stopped at the grocery store on the way home from work (DH and I carpooled today) and then had the dinner DD and I planned for tonight. Tomorrow is dinner out at a new local chain--and I'm really looking forward to my tossed salad with salmon--delicious and OP!

I seem to be rushed in the mornings so I'm trying to get back on track with packing my lunch and snack the night before. I packed two lunches and two snacks. I put a note on my purse to remind me to take them so I don't forget my lunch bag--I've gotten out of the habit of taking my lunch--and so I've provided an extra prompt for my mornings.

I'm going to start taking a page for ForMyGirls and aim for a more regular bedtime with the goal being to getting up at a consistent time and exercising in the morning. This will not be easy for me, but it's the Next Step.

Take care, all!
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Old 12-17-2013, 02:48 AM   #175
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Default All about the food

Hi Coaches
I was thinking about the idea of it being all about the food and that maybe that wasn't good - but I think it was totally appropriate in that context.

What isn't so appropriate for me is that it is always about the food! That the most mundane of foods, the most common and everyday, get to be the focus of off plan eating and craving. So sometimes it is OK maybe if it is all about the food as long as I plan for it

thanks for listening
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Old 12-17-2013, 06:46 AM   #176
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Hi Coaches,

Cruisy happy day until about 3pm and then I got some really crappy news. You might remember a couple of weeks ago I said that I had been awarded a prize for my work and that it came with cash which I was so relieved about because it meant I would be able to afford christmas gifts for my kids. Well the cash hadn't appeared and the last few days I have been chasing round to find out why and today got the news that "early in the year they decided not to award cash anymore. Instead recipients of the award will be getting a trophy" I was so damn sad. There has been a big stressful issue running through my life the last 12 months that has taken a big financial toll. If I were a financially sensible person (scratch that - "if I had lived a financially sensible life up until now" because I am not my deeds) I would have been in a position to absorb the expenses but I started from a precarious position and have been sinking into an ever deeper hole. When I found out I had been nominated for the award it felt like there was just a tiny bit of light at the end of the tunnel, and then when I heard I got it I breathed such a huge sigh of relief. A month ago I applied for an extension on my credit card to help me get through the next few months (when the expenses will be continuing) and I was denied. So the news today left me feeling like every way I turn there is a dead end.

Thanks to mindfulness I realised how upset I was - shut down my computer and came home early (I am lucky to work in an environment where I can do that - rather than having to put on the happy face for the rest of the day). I don't think I can count the number of times I opened the fridge and pantry between then and dinner - but I didn't ever take anything out. [insert expletive] huge credit to me.

So having not drowned my feelings in food (or spending - but that by force of circumstance rather than will power!) I realised this is my 'rock bottom'. Receiving an award for my professional work should be a moment of pride and delight but because of the irrational relationship I have with money it has been a shattering disappointment! I actually tore up the award this afternoon - not very mature - but emotionally helpful!

In time I will come to see today's phone call, and the banks refusal to extend my credit limit, as one of the big gifts of my life. Perhaps one day I will ask them to reprint the award for me and then I can frame it, alongwith the letter from the bank!

It occurred to me this afternoon that the CBT strategies I am employing for weight loss could help me with this too so I will start another thread - if there are other folk with "irresponsible spending" issues like me who would like a community of support about this then please come join me. NOt sure how it will work yet - but I figure, like this weight loss gig, I need to commit now and work out the plan later!

72 points for the team. Streak of 12 for me.

Thanks for being there all of you. I would have eaten the whole fridge today if I hadn't known I had you all to unload on at the end of the day!
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Old 12-17-2013, 07:13 AM   #177
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Thumbs up Tuesday - Full Moon

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Funky exercise was hauling a 50 pound bag of rock salt, CREDIT moi. Even though I routinely lift 50# dumbbells in each hand, a single wiggly 50# bag was a nuisance. We never use salt on our walks because of the freeze/thaw cycle spalding on concrete. However, a neighbor left for some warm climate without arranging for someone to do his brick sidewalks; I did them late on Sunday afternoon after walkers had already packed the snow to ice. The rock salt was for his bricks. I hope it works. Other exercise was marching the miles of aisle at Home Depot for some smoke/CO detectors for DD for Christmas. Rabbit in the briar patch that.

Food was on plan, CREDIT moi, with evening snack a mediocre California Navel Orange. Streak increments to 27 days. DW found a place to donate the Clementines, but I'm left to eat the oranges. Lunch included a cuke and a red pepper; I'm working back up to the man-salad that was a staple of my lunch for years. Noble moment when the sweet Girl Scout rang the door bell selling Girl Scout cookies. I immediately pulled out $10 asking her to find someone else to eat the two boxes. She was confused; she couldn't accept money until she delivered. Then DW appeared behind me to say she'd take the cookies for a group she's in. Double win: I get to support my neighbor and DW will remove the cookies. (A few minutes ago, my moon beam greeted me in the kitchen. I saw her from the dining room before I turned on a light. Happiness!)


Joy (gardenerjoy) – Yay for that "715/1400 minutes."

Cheryl (seadwaters) – Kudos for "unscathed" through that menu that still has me drooling. Interesting thoughts concerning "all about the food."

Pam (pamatga) – Ouch for the disappointing change in your plans to move. Kudos for getting your head back in place for "focusing on everything about the season that is NON-FOOD."

nationalparker – Congrats on that ticker decrement. Ouch for getting seduced by chicken fingers - reminds me how annoyed I've been that my original weight was built on Oreo cookies instead of fine cuisines.

Beth (bethFromDayton) – I like that reminder on your purse for your lunch; Kudos for serious planning.

ForMyGirls - Super Bummer facing that evaporating award with the added salt of the bank's refusal on the requested extension. Kudos for recognizing that the fridge wasn't going to give release. Using Cognitive Behavior Therapy to help stay on a financial plan is a stellar idea.

LoseToAll - Kudos for adjusting your dinner to stay your plan. [I eat hummus with red peppers - easy for me to eat a reasonable portion. With chips, I keep eating like the Energizer Bunny.]

Valkyrie1 - Kudos for a successful party. Each success invites another.

Readers -
Quote:
day 9 Select and Exercise Plan

How to Start

If you're not already doing so, you should engage in two kinds of exercise: spontaneous exercise (taking advantage of situations you're in to get more exercise) and planned exercise (setting a specific time to do a specific type of exercise).

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 108.
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Old 12-17-2013, 11:15 AM   #178
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My 100%OP Day streak count is up to 6.

I haven't planned my day yet. Better rectify that...Done. It took 3 minutes -- and that included a conversation w/ DH to decide if we'd run errands and go out to lunch plus pulling a couple of planning things for the week from my Tickler to decide what to eat tonight.

WI: NC in kg, Exercise: +45 760/1400 minutes for December, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

LoseToAll: My typical day of exercise is a 30 minute walk with DH and 15-20 minutes of some combination of dancing/strength-training/stretching. I did exercise videos for years, but now I know a lot of good moves, so I watch TV series on Netflix while I do those latter exercises. I am motivated by two things.
1) I accidentally started a streak over the summer and, as of yesterday, I've exercised 150 days in a row.
2) I track my exercise at the monthly exercise challenge thread here on 3FC: December Exercise Challenge

bethFromDayton: a note on my purse is the way I remember to get things that I need to take with me, too!

seadwaters: I like your thought about it's okay if it's all about food occasionally, if it's planned that way. I've had some success this season with planning a Christmas treat once a week or so. In some cases, the treats have been things that used to trigger cravings for me. But they didn't cause cravings. I think it's because those things aren't regularly in my life anymore and, mostly, because by planning the treat, I compartmentalized it as a special thing that I don't do all the time. My brain accepted that and I didn't have the cravings that I used to get.

ForMyGirls: so sorry for that disappointing news and the trouble that it's causing in your life. I'm sure that CBT works just as well for spending issues as weight ones and decluttering ones.
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Old 12-17-2013, 01:40 PM   #179
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my 100% OP streak has ended.
I caved yesterday on my day off and had some unplanned cocktails.
which led to unplanned food as well.
I'm disappointed in myself as I had been going along so well and feeling really committed.
I have a day off today too and, although so far I'm eating all healthy things, I'm eating unplanned already.
UGH!!
I will recover.

Last edited by LuLu01801 : 12-17-2013 at 01:46 PM.
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Old 12-17-2013, 02:53 PM   #180
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Smile Day 34: Solve Problems

Day 34: Solve Problems This is one of those skills that keeps on getting better the more that you practice it. I have really fallen back daily/weekly using this day over and over. I just like how Dr. Beck presents this in her usual matter-of-fact manner. What I especially like about applying CBT to just about anything is that you remove all of the emotion from most decisions and when you do that you aren't "reacting" but being "proactive"; which I think is the model that we are all aiming for. This has been one day that my life in general has benefited from the most.

Hey, I only have 7 days left of this book's daily bullet points and then I will present what OP is now for me (rather than what it was even a couple of weeks ago) and then I will settle down in just doing it. I have been formulating and re-formulating what I need to do to make my goals "happen". I returned here again because what I was doing was working "some of the time". I want to make it work 80-90% of the time so I am not working on losing weight two or three years from now. Reconnecting with the Beck Diet Solution has grounded me again--which I really needed. TG I was "lead" here once more and that I was "open to following". Credit moi for that!

nationalparker I think you were as OP as a person could be when you honestly don't know what a particular venue will serve. We have yet another holiday get together (this time food and drink centered entirely along with good conversations among old friends) this coming weekend. When I asked what I could bring and the reply was "fresh fruit", I was happy to oblige.

Major Credit to you for making the best decisions on the spur of the moment. Having a plan in our minds helps steer around the buffet table and I personally think that is how we "survive" the unknown.

losetoall Well, I have come a very very long way from my old days of compulsive overeating but I still have not arrived as I would like to. I would say that I am 75% of where I want to be in this area. One of my persistent sabotaging thoughts is that "I am having a very tough time and therefore this is one area that I can relax a little." Well, that thought has kept me stalled because that "tough time" has not only been there but will probably be there for an undetermined amount of time so I am going to really have to quit using tough times as an excuse to be sloppy with how I eat. Period. End of the story. I need to practice my resistance muscle even when I want to bawl ---loudly. I am not a weak person so I don't know why in this area I act like one sometimes. I really do want to be victorious in this area. I want the rest of the world to know me as I know me. I can do this. So can you. We just have to believe we can.

BTW, Dukan is a diet plan formulated by a Dr. Dukan (I think he is a doctor) that was all the rage in Europe back when Princess Kate was preparing for her wedding two years ago. I don't know what foods or anything else about it other than that a lot of people have tried it and, I guess, like it.

seadwaters I saw an episode of Bizarre Foods on the Travel channel with Andrew Zimmerman, here in the States, and he visited Australia while there was a food festival going on celebrating all of those foods you mentioned. Since my food plan does involve counting calories I am just wondering if any of those food items would be found on any of the apps around. Andrew said that kangaroo meat is greasy and tastes like wild game here in the States. "Survival meat" turned nouveau cuisine. I love it!

I don't know if you have either of the Beck books but she does cover cravings and eating off plan well. Reading those may help you in your quest right now.

I have said before that cravings for me come down to what I eat (read: too many carbs). Keeping my carbs low and the protein high (which it sounds like her diet in the second book is similar) is my key to not craving sweets in general. As for "off planned" eating...."out of sight, out of mind" at home and when I am out, making sure that I do not arrive at any restaurant super hungry. I see this program as developing a sort of "mind control" over this particular area of our life. Ideally, it is removing both the compulsive and the impulsive aspects of our behavior when it comes to food consumption.

bethfromdayton: Major Credit for being OP 6 days in a row. Great job in planning out your meals and your days as well. You are doing great! I have always found that pre-planning lunches away from home is a big help. I too have found that structured routine is the best way to develop good and sound habits. I joined a sleep challenge run by another site this past summer and now bedtime is no later than 1 a.m. My exercise schedule is M-W-F --cardio and Tu-Th-Sat --strength workouts. So, now all I have to do is see what day of week it is and I know what I am "supposed" to do. Good Luck with finding out what works for you and then working it!

ForMyGirls: I am so sorry that things did not work out as you had planned and hoped. I too have had some major disappointments in this area and I have learned to "walk the walk" in this area of my life now more than ever. I could write a "War and Peace" post on this past year alone but I won't. Aren't you all happy? I did join you on your new thread. We can do this! One day at a time.

BBE: Great (continued) Job on your streaking. I think you must be on cruise control at this point. Your talk of oranges has got me thinking about seeing what is available locally here. I am more of an apple person but those are long gone so I am on a search now.

Thank you everyone for the condolences regarding my expression of disappointment regarding moving. The cliff notes version is that we are small business owners and between the government shutdown and the presentation of the new AHCA our customers are overwhelmed emotionally (and my guess financially) and our source of income has nearly dried up at a time when our income is 3x what it is right now. Then, add to the fact that my DH (whom I love dearly) has gotten repeated traffic violations (his office is his car) and so he is on probation as well as taking time out of his work schedule to sit with a probation officer; which is just plain ridiculous and is humiliating to him besides. This is the only law this man has ever broken in his entire life and as a person who has had a history of chronic depression it has been very difficult on him. He is feeling very persecuted.

For anyone who is familiar with mental illness (which both my DH and I have a long shared history of), stress is something we have to be especially careful of. If it gets too much, it can really overwhelm us and cause us to make very poor cognitive choices. I suspect that my DH is going through some patchy periods of just struggling and so I am carrying the load emotionally right now in our relationship. He has been a gent of the highest degree in the past for me so this is absolutely no sacrifice on my part. We are tight. We cover each other's backs at all times.

As for me, the family financial manager, I have to "let go, let go, let go". When we were out in traffic a week ago and he repeated the same offense that got him a whopping $750 fine, I said, "Now, I understand why you got pulled over." He was hurt by my comments but I stand by them. Anyway, I had to turn down an ideal property simply because of all of this. Most is not anything we have done (the government stuff) but at a time when we need to be careful the traffic violation hurt, I won't deny that.

Credit with me that I kept my temper although I did cry. Even more credit with me that I didn't do my "usual" (ForMyGirls this is why I am joining you) is to slap this unexpected expense on a credit card or something like that but instead we are paying it in installments so we aren't borrowing any more. That is definitely a new way of handling problems for me/us and one that I am doing my best to stick to. So, food is not my only issue right now that I am struggling with. So, is a mountain of debt.

This is why I really embrace this particular Day more than any of them because this is where I "excel" (credit moi again). Drop the "victim" role, cease the "pity party" and just plain figure out how to deal with it in the most rational and acceptable way. As Dr. Beck says, "If you can't solve the problem, then release it. Some problems weren't meant to be solved." I would add, "at this time". That is a lot to sit with at times but I have been practicing that and it gives me a lot more serenity and peace of mind when I do what I can and then "let go" of what I can't.

gardenerjoy: Is this Exercise Challenge a monthly one and is it ongoing into 2014? If it is I might join your group. Although I don't have trouble keeping up my exercise in general it still would help me meet another goal. I just was surfing in another area that I report and came across another short term challenge that I joined (impulsively of course ) so I have a new ticker on my signature page. I might as well add a couple more before it is all said and done. Why not?

I am just so excited that I am almost finished with reading this book and I feel ready to make a list of what OP is for.

To all of the readers and lurkers who pop in from time to time, hope things are well on your end of the stick.

Take care, Pam

P.S. Lulu: if you have the book read about getting back on track. We love you. We are here for you. You are doing great. TY for checking in and give yourself credit for your honesty and humility.

Last edited by pamatga : 12-17-2013 at 03:08 PM.
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