I am up in Tahoe. I left the boys to the harvest. DS was out raking the walnuts with the other worker while DH was doing "books" in the office. Actually, DH was looking out the window at his beautiful boy happily working and chatting with the worker that only speaks Spanish. DH and I both believe that part of being happy in this world is to be able to enjoy work, lose yourself in it, whatever it maybe. Most of our friends' children have no chores or any real idea of the value of money. DS knows he has to rake three hours to be able to buy a "Yugioh" set of playing cards.
Back on topic: OP yesterday. A beautiful walk to oldtown Truckee where I treated myself to a reward for three weeks of no slips. I settled on a desperately needed new pair of hiking pants. Mine are from the 80's (I know, BBE is saying right now, "What is wrong with that?") I am excited to try them out this morning on the second most beautiful hike I have ever done — The Rubicon Trail along Lake Tahoe's Emerald Bay. The champion hike is the famous one in Kaui (which I would misspell if I tried.) Fighting a few demon thoughts that "Breakfast isn't enough to get you though the hike." Then I remembered John Muir who set out with tea bags and a fishing line to discover Yosemite I am happy with the green smoothie and almond butter on rice bread that was planned.
ForMyGirls: It is good to remember the "old you." One of my favorite quotes is : I am not the woman I want to be but I am certainly not the woman I was."
Another drive-by check in today... yesterday could have been so much better and I was my own saboteur. Weary of the non-stop chores/errands, it seems and so have planned to check out with an hour of reading while watching some football.
Rainy day here - Kohls and Sams errands still await. We left yardwork for today, surprised with the non-stop rain/drizzle. We need it, though, so I'll plan on mowing tomorrow night. UGH. I am feeling lazier this year - things I jumped right on ow seem to be things I put off. Will start working on that, adding it to the list, I guess.
Hope everyone is having an excellent Sunday. Thanks for the welcome back messages!
For those who were not here when I left- I am 51 years old, living in rural Manitoba, and have struggled with my weight my entire life. One of my primary motivators is that I have arthritis in my ankles and knees and am in a fair amount of pain with my right leg. The only thing I can do is lose weight and exercise and hope that it is enough to help. I am using Sparks People to record my food and am calorie counting.
Credit today for: riding exercise bike, reading advantage and response cards, planning food for tomorrow, and eating a healthy breakfast and lunch.
Bill-- I am amazed you remember my trip to the island- that was two summers ago. Just took me awhile to get back.
The challenges that I knew were coming have now come, and gone.
I was so emotionally overwhelmed by my life that I could not reach out and did not want to try to stop eating compulsively. Since my brother died mid-July, and then we moved my mother nearby, only last weekend (already a week ago!), I basically ate to cope. I managed to stay on plan and then I just didn't. And then I didn't even think about staying on plan anymore and I just gave in. The result is a 19lb gain the last time I stepped on the scale.
What can I say about this?
I don't need to keep eating/over-eating. I can stop/choose a foodplan/reach out. I can, in short, try again. Right now I am feeling very sad about my upcoming birthday, just a few days over a month away. I want to turn this around before it gets here.
I did complete my mural project and now have to coerce people to vote for me online. Call me old, or old-fashioned, but it bothers me that after creating a large scale mural, on an unforgiving material, in challenging outdoor conditions, under tight time constraints, that the winner will be decided by an online popularity contest just seems wrong. There were participants who worked on their piece for just one day, others who took them off-site, cause they had the space/studio for that, and still others who worked onsite as they requested. Drumming up online votes, everyday for 35+ days, feels like trying to get picked for the gym class team. However, I am doing it. And I am trying to get into doing it. But really, I think it has nothing to do with the art we made, or who would make the best piece of public art which is what the winner gets--this, at least, is a VERY worthy prize. (btw if you want to cast a vote for me, or the others, pm me and I'll send you the link).
Had to do it at least that once.
Bye for now.
ceejay good to see you here. i know how you feel.
__________________ **** 5lbs at a time. one * for every pound lost. RESTART:19/1/2015 - 284.8lbs
It's late and I'm headed to bed. I haven't devoted time and energy to my plan this weekend, and had a big snack last night--even as I told myself I could talk myself out of it, I talked myself out of talking myself out of it. Today was more controlled.
I did spend energy in other ways--I'm reading the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. It's wonderful. Someone said that after reading it, she really wanted to go to Guernsey. Since we're going to Guernsey in May, I thought it'd be fun to read something (partly) set there.
I spent time on my trip planning website (bethsblog.com for those of you who like reading about what other people are planning)
I spent time hanging pictures (I'll post in the decluttering thread)
We went to the Air Force Museum.
And, I spent time and energy obsessing about my next portable computer solution. We looked at the Microsoft Surface Friday night, but Asus has something coming out in October that sounds like it might be perfect (Transformer T100) for blogging and such while traveling (which is what I want something new for--something smaller than my laptop)
So, none of that was plan-related--but it was a full weekend.
Tomorrow, I'll plan next week's meals and go grocery shopping AFTER we spend all the daylight hours we can staining the deck! I usually go after work on Monday, but given limited daylight, it'll wait until after dark!
Diet Coaches/Buddies Lunch was an affair where I tried to limit eating too much. I chose salmon, CREDIT moi, as the better of several choices. Meeting new people generates a bit of stress trying to remember their names even while hearing new stories is a joy.
Not much exercise given that my day required going about in the car. It just reminded me that I'm lucky that many days can be completely handled by subway and foot.
onebyone Congrats for getting through that huge stack of stuff recently; I hope your mom is able to acclimate to her new home. Kudos for charging back into holding yourself accountable for your exercise and eating plans.
Joy (gardenerjoy) Yay, of course, for eating the lunch you packed; Ouch because I'm now drooling for a pork burger, LOL. Thanks for the suggested reading on digital cameras.
CeeJay - Yep, Kudos for using your exercise bike; neat that you have an exercise that you can do despite pain in the leg.
maryann - Congrats for being able to fit into hiking pants from the 80's - that's a win. Love reading that your DS is working and that he's learning that language isn't a barrier to communication. Stories of John Muir in the woods inspire me. I was awed by the tale of not being terribly concerned about being caught out in a blizzard; if it happened, he planned to slowly march in place all night to prevent frostbite and then he'd be able to see where to walk in the morning.
nationalparker Sometimes a break is the right thing. It's doubly delicious when planned.
Beth (bethFromDayton) Nice to be reminded that Dayton has the best Air Force Museum ever. Been there. Loved every minute of it. On my list to go back. Neat that you're headed to the Channel Islands - such a small dot on the map viewed from here. Can't wait to hear tales. Convoluted Kudos for talking yourself out of talking yourself out of it.
ForMyGirls - Kudos for "old habits that didn't replay" - just love reading of changes that become part of life. [Gotta remember that another reason to get to Australia is to watch an Aussie Rules game. Thanks for the clarification.]
day 7 Arrange Your Environment
Did this suggestion trigger sabotaging thoughts? Many dieters tell me, "If I make changes I'll have to tell everyone I'm dieting. I'm worried I could fail on this diet, too. Then everyone will know. So it's better not to let anyone know." If you're having such thoughts, you're going to need a strong response or you may decide not to make environmental changes.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 90.
New Journey: 10 years
In maintenance phase: 8 years and 6 months
Following Dr. Judith Beck via 3FC's Beck Diet Solution Forum: 8 years
Lack of internet, as I sit to post (SundayPM) yet had the thought to write/save now and cut/past later. Credit for creativity. Food has been good...not perfect but I'm still holding in my 3#maintenance range which is acceptable to me right now. Advance planning isn't helping lots .as the ongoing schedule seems to change from morning to night. The project is going well often requiring that I go up and paint after a full day at my real job. I don't know when we'll finish I'm just taking one day at a time. Tomorrow I meet with a tree guy to discuss taking down a dangerous tree $$ again. Credit .this afternoon my DH snacked through a foodball (typo but appropriate) game and I especially noticed it wasn't triggering my desires to eat. Beck strategies at work. Yay.
CeeJay, welcome back!
onebyone, glad to see you back, too!
MaryAnn, I enjoyed reading your post. It really gave me a sense of peace to listen to your progress/process. Neat that DS is learning a work ethic...I've sure found it to be a foundation of many other disciplines.
By the time I post this it will be Monday morning and I'll be prepping for a trip to Denver to meet with an oncologist for my mom. Take care everyone!
I am leaving beautiful Tahoe this morning. Back to real life. Credit that I bought no extra food this entire weekend. I ate only what I brought up in a insulated lunch bag. It was filled mostly with the fruit and veggies for my smoothies.I am constantly surprised how little I need to eat to be healthy.
In awe yesterday from watching parasurfers use the 20 mph wind to leap and lunge off the waves on the lake. I am so timid so often. Warning: metaphor about to come: I thought I should use the wind (my anxiety) to fly like they do - not regret it or it battle it constantly. It is all about courage.
On the topic of courage. I have decided to not start reintroducing foods this week. I have bought two recommended supplements - one for help with serotonin (for my depression) and one to help with anxiety. I want to start them this week. Adding back a food would only muddy the results.
onebyone: Glad you are back posting. None of us are above the grade of human. It is by sharing our weaknesses and our missteps that we all become stronger.
Good luck to all with the home improvement projects. I should be pulling into the driveway of a house with a FINALLY finished roofing job and a beautifully painted exterior.
Busy work day, but already planning to relax tonight. With Mondays being such crazy work days and I feel like I'm constantly on edge, even if I manage to get out on time, I felt guilty for hitting the wall when I got home. Last week I saved a movie to watch by myself. This week I think I'm finally going to start of the many PBS shows I keep saying I want to watch (Doc Martin, The Bletchley Circle, Inspector Morse, Vera, etc.) ... if I have the first episode of The Bletchley Circle, that might it.
Lunch is planned - fruit and dry cereal (I'm still loving the quaker oat squares) ... dinner is soup. Misty, drizzly day so lawn mowing is again looking iffy, so secretly that works well into my homebody plans tonight.
Scale is reading shockingly high - well, only shocking if I forgot what I've eaten here lately. Combo of too many calories and too much sodium.
Trip to Utah coming up later this week - looking forward to it. DH is STILL trying to make up his mind on the trip for next year - his pick. He's been thinking Alaska, Australia (which would take years to save up for), Hawaii (ditto), cruise, Prince Edward Island, Newfoundland, Isle Royale, Ireland (the latest), now back to Alaska cruise in June, Dry Tortugas NP in Key West ... it's cute to me because in his last relationship his opinion mattered not at all and no trips were taken. So he's not taking this lightly. I realize that often our trips are me going, "oh, I want you to see Glacier national park, how about we go there?" "Ok!" ... Now i just realize there is an Island motif in his thoughts. Hm.
onebyone-thanks for encouraging me to start posting again! Good luck with your art work. I am definitely voting for you!
bethfromdayton-sounds like a busy weekend for you. Will check out your travel website.
BillBlueEyes-credit for limiting lunch. The exercise bike and swimming are OK on my leg and I am pretty sure I am gaining strength. It is walking that is a problem- I miss going for walks and hope sooner or later I can start up again.
Lexxiss- thanks for the welcome. Laughing about foodball. Yay you did not join in!
gardenerjoy-good luck with your tricky week.
ForMyGirls-good job blowing off scones.
maryann-I just finished a vacation too and real life is much harder.
nationalparker-hope you have an enjoyable trip this week. All of your husbands trip options sound fantastic.
I had kind of an off day. Spent an hour and a half in the dentist chair this morning- finishing a root canal and replacing some ancient fillings that were starting to go. All that freezing made me into a zombie for the rest of the day. Freezing is long gone and my mouth is sore. So food today was a healthy breakfast, soup for lunch and some hamburger casserole for dinner. Nothing great but no overeating either. Also got on the exercise bike before going to the dentist. I am so ready to go to bed. Back to work tomorrow.
I am back, a lot has happened some good, some not so good, many changes and it is all part of life. Thanks for throwing out the lifeline, I grabbed it and am holding on for dear life.
Hello to everyone.
It is difficult to believe October will arrive in a few hours.
I did get rid of clutter through out the time I have been away.
Have a great night and I will talk to you soon.