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Beck Diet For Life/Solution – May 2013 – Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach

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Old 05-08-2013, 05:01 PM   #76
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Thank you Beth!!!

So. I currently have a routine for the week that includes menu planning/shopping list on Friday nights, food shopping Saturday mornings (my husband does that), and extra produce shopping as needed during the week. This is part of my exercising, as a walk to and from the supermarket is about 1.5 miles. I do this once, often twice a week even when I am not trying to lose weight! But I never know if it is going to be Monday and Thursday, or only Wednesday, or not at all because my husband stopped after work!

I am a sahm (homeschooling edition) so I am around to make meals and have a lot of control over them. But. I am not the kind of person who eats meals at the same time every day. I often plan my meals vaguely - like Chicken and fresh veg, and then fill in the blanks when I see what looks fresh and good in the store. And I don't always know in advance if we will be going out to dinner as my husband is very spontaneous.

So really I am talking about 2 things here. Day 8 has a lot of scheduling but can I plan breakfast this way - "eat between 7 and 9 because we start math around 9:30", not "8-8:30 breakfast". Or "walk between 4 and 8, depending on how the day is going. If I can't get out, do a 20-30 minute walking dvd before I an watch any TV or read, after the kitchen is clean.". Is that scheduled enough?

The other thing is Day 14 - advance planning. Generally I know the outline of our week, and I almost always know what I will be making for dinner the night before, and breakfast and lunch during the week would be easy to plan...But busy weekends are hard to plan with a spontaneous husband (he is rule bound all week and likes to be freeer on the weekend) and 4 kids...I just don't see how I can plan ahead realistically more than about 80% of the time!
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Old 05-08-2013, 10:43 PM   #77
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Hi all,

I've had an OP day, even though I made dinner changes to my plan since we unexpectedly ended up eating out. I chose banana nut bread at Bob Evan's over my ice cream treat, so it is just going to have to wait a few days (there isn't room for it in tomorrow's plan).

I had a sabotaging thought of "you did plan it" and I told myself that I didn't plan on banana nut bread though, and I couldn't have both today and that I wasn't even hungry so I wasn't having it. And I didn't!

In re-reading Diet for Life, I'm struck by the same thing that I noticed in the pink book--the expectation that I would be ashamed or guilty or upset or bad if I ate something I wasn't planning on eating/shouldn't eat. I don't feel guilty at all (for me, guilt and shame are reserved for things that hurt other people). I mostly feel annoyed at myself, and usually baffled as to why I'm making decisions that aren't good for me. I'm not a robot--honest--but it's been a long time since I found it necessary to beat myself up over something--and I certainly wouldn't do it because I had an ice cream treat and banana nut bread. Does anyone else have this kind of reaction to the assumption that mistake makers will be ashamed of themselves?

sparks17, I should confess that I'm not a big rule for the sake of rules person--I never have been and never will be. (And it's why certain teachers hated my kids) But I'm extremely practical and also a fan of processes that help you reach your goal. I'm also a fan of adjusting processes so that they work for you.

That's why I do my planning over the weekend, but on Sunday after euchre if I haven't done it earlier. Some Sundays, I just feel like doing it and it gets done in the afternoon or before euchre. So what? What works for me is having a 'loose' plan with a 'hard' 'must' after it. So, 'weekend' is loose, but the Sunday after euchre timeslot is a "hard must".

I think planning the way you describe makes eminent sense. What also makes sense is reassessing. If it is clear that the looser schedule works for you and your goals of controlling your diet the way you want to, then it works. If it doesn't work, then it's time to re-look at your approach.

For grocery shopping, I follow my main course plan no matter what is on sale. On the other hand, my meal planning includes 'fruit' or 'vegetable' and I pick those based on what looks good. You might find it works better for you to plan your detailed meals while shopping.

Other people have been at this longer than I have, so their experiences may vary, obviously.

Have a good night all.
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Old 05-09-2013, 05:43 AM   #78
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Thumbs up Welcome sparks17

sparks17

And in case you haven't gotten one of these yet in your two weeks here,

How did you learn about the books by Dr. Judith Beck?

And how did you find our Beck thread her on 3 Fat Chicks?
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Old 05-09-2013, 05:52 AM   #79
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Thumbs up Thursday - New Moon

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walked in the evening to see some friends, CREDIT moi, where I nibbled more than I had planned but less than the food laid out encouraged. Too much nibbling is becoming embarrassing to keep typing. Roasted salted sunflower seeds isn't one of my usual snacks, but it's hardly rare and unusual. There was no need for multiple dips into the bowl. Those buggers have 100 calories each - or something like that.

The walking (CREDIT moi) after dark on a warm evening was sheer joy. I didn't even mind that I was carrying a golf umbrella in anticipation of the predicted rain. Always a joy when that prediction is wrong. (DW, the gardener, on the other hand, will read her rain gauge and moan that her plants didn't get the predicted watering.)


Joy (gardenerjoy) – Getting shots makes Paris sound closer. Ouch for their discomfort.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Terrific reminder, "I don't know exactly how they eat but I do know how I eat." We all would do well to put our eating plan first - others can learn to eat well.

nationalparker – Sounds great to be the last house in civilization - but had never thought of being the recipient of all ditched dogs. Your concern for that lost critter was touching. Good luck planning your garden.

Beth (bethFromDayton) – So glad you laid out that it's also common not to feel embarrassment but "I mostly feel annoyed at myself." (I've never played euchre - is it like bridge?)

IBelieveInMe2 – So neat to be here, "I am feeling more confident."

Jo (veganasaurusrex) – Oh Good Grief! This is just amazing, "I don't really have any junk at home to toss." Kudos for being there - from a guy who's spent all his life collecting stuff that now needs to be tossed.

sparks17 - Re: "1. The notebook" - I used mine (actually an Excel spreadsheet) to record my daily weight, my daily exercise, and my daily foods. Later in her book Beck suggests collecting successes and other things.

Re: "2. Day 8" - My take is that the idea is to find the time and energy for our food plan and exercise plan rather than to use lack of time as our excuse to wimp out. For some people, like mothers of toddlers, finding time is uber challenging - something has to be replaced. The planning you list seems more than good enough. Spontaneous has to be accommodated for a real life and flexible planning allows that. Glad that you've joined us.


Readers -
Quote:
chapter 5
Get Ready: Lay the Groundwork

day 2Pick Two Reasonable Diets
. . . The specific primary diet you choose doesn't matter, as long as it's healthy and well-balanced. You can choose a diet from a book, a Web site, a national health organization (such as one that promotes a diet that is healthy for your heart), a hospital or weight-loss clinic, or a commercial organization.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 63.
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Old 05-09-2013, 05:52 AM   #80
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Beth - I thank you. I feel better, as I do have a meal planning method and shopping routine, even though it is loose. I am sure that I can tighten it up a bit since it will further my health/fitness/weight loss goals. And your story about changing your dinner plan and then giving up your planned treat in favor of one at a restaurant...well, that is exactly the type of situation I was concerned about!

Thanks again! I feel more confident now.

ETA - Thanks, Bill, for the encouragement and the welcome! I plan to post here every day now. See you soon!

Oh - I first read about the book here, as when I joined I started scrolling through all the different plans to see what others were doing. The CBT idea interested me so I ordered the book from the library. I especially was looking for encouragement and structure but not another eating plan, as I am comfortable with low-carbing. This time I am working on doing it in a way that allows me to "budget for indulgences", like it says in Day 2.

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Old 05-09-2013, 08:10 AM   #81
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Hello - My name is nationalparker and I have a food issue. Feeling good that I could get back on track fairly well over the past couple of days, I made a quick dinner last night before we went out to the movies. (The Big Wedding - bought the buy one/get one free tix before we heard it was panned... ehhh.)

We got to the theatre and I saw the kids popcorn meal deal - which I used to get when on ww once/month and it worked in fine. Did DH want one, too? Yep! WELL ... i know the small drink there won't hold him, so said do you want to just split this other? Okay. Well, #1 - I don't know how anyone but the wealthy can afford drinks/snacks at the movies if not the kids cheap treat, because I should have asked before - $18.50 for two drinks and a popcorn. I was stunned. We haven't bought popcorn in the theater in about four years. Fast forward to me eating SO MUCH popcorn. And it was salty and over fake flavored. We typically make ours with a tbsp olive oil and the kernels to pop on the stove, add some sea salt and we're good to go. So, epic FAIL. But wait, I can top THIS. We are leaving and I drive out a different direction, because, if I'm this far over NOW, might as well get a froyo (and I don't delude myself that they're light - i KNOW it's an indulgence of about 600 calories and I try to guess high).

I was so frustrated and mad at myself. Talked to DH who has been struggling to stay on track himself here lately, he really seems to have trouble when working the night shift and the days in between and after the next night shift. So basically half a month, he struggles. So we recommitted to eating and snacking wisely and have the Rocky Mountain National Park plan back in place today.

But my epic fails are all I can think about. I was feeling GOOD with the delish @ 450 calorie-dinner I'd prepped, and it tasted great, etc. What a different way my story might have been had I just brought a little dry cereal with us like I usually do ... and said NO CHOICE to my mind on the froyo like I did the night before when DH wanted a McD vanilla cone. Feels good to get it out but I now feel like i've set myself back immeasurably.
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Old 05-09-2013, 09:48 AM   #82
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Good morning coaches! Evenings are still a struggle to me, especially when my partner's daughter is over. This week in general I've been feeling draggy and stressed. However my meals were still vegan and in reasonable quantities (that's been my goal lately, trying to set reasonable portions in preperation for begining my diet).

I have a big CREDIT though, last night I read Beck Day 8....FOR THE FIRST TIME! I've picked up this book so many times in the past and never gotten past Day 7! But I'm on day 8 and looking at scheduling my day and having fun with it.

Not tooo many sabatoging thoughts yesterday, though of course there were some. Just have to keep on top of them!

Lexxiss Yay on the fanny pack! What a fun awesome moment!

gardenerjoy I'm sorry for your health struggles. Sending thoughts of healing your way.

IBelieveinMe Are you sure you don't get enough exercise wrangling beasts at the circus Kudos on feeling empowered!

sparks Welcome! I agree with you that somehow the Beck books are very clear but also strangely vague. I recently discovered there's a website/blog and reading the blog posts (most of which are examples of clients in session) was really illuminating. Also, from the website you can print out pages to go with each day. They have the checklists from the book but you can store them in a folder and write on them. Discovering this has been really helpful to me. Also yay Brooklyn!

BethFromDayton That's interesting and a much healthier approach to eating Off Plan. For me it IS a heavily loaded with guilt issue. I feel angry at myself and ashamed. I think this is due to a lot of other head issues I have percolating around but it's great to see a vision of where I can get to once I get my head issues in line!

BillBlueEyes Thanks so much for the kind words But don't worry, there's a whole WORLD of junk food out there - I just eat it elsewhere and not bring it home

nationalparker If I was in your situation, I would feel the same way. And so I'm going to be the objective outside voice. You've taken the first step by identifying that you're not pleased with the choices you made and you also posted here to hold yourself accountable (huge kudos!). You haven't set yourself back immeasurably - it'll be perfectly measurable based on how long it takes you to get back OP and you can control this. This doesn't have to become any more than a tiny blip on your long journey of health and success. You've got this!
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Old 05-09-2013, 11:46 AM   #83
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An extra slice of bread after supper marred an otherwise 100% day. I'll see if I can get to 100% today.

Exercise: +60 325/1000 for May

sparks17: Welcome!
I work from home and have a spontaneous husband, too. My plans generally don't have times on them -- it's more like "before lunch" or "between supper and bedtime." Your planning sounds like it will do the job.
For those spontaneous meals out, I have a plan for each of our favorite restaurants; grilled fish over salad at the seafood place, salad/artichoke hearts/seared tuna at the tapas place, etc. So, when DH says "let's go out to eat," I just substitute the normal plan at that restaurant for whatever I had planned. I still consider myself 90% on plan when I do that.
Beck brings out the perfectionist in me in some places, but in others she's more about getting right back on track after the inevitable lapse. In fact, that's much of what we do in this support thread -- help each other deal with life in all its imperfect glory and still be reasonably healthy. I used to grade the on-planness of my days (and may get back to it -- it was pretty useful). The vast majority of my days were 80 and 90% on plan. A 100% day is definitely helpful once or twice a week and a 70% or lower day is definitely not helpful, but you can make a lot of progress hitting that 80% mark.

nationalparker: time for "what can I learn from this that will help the next time?" and a big "oh well" and "what can I do to make today feel good?" You can do it!
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Old 05-09-2013, 03:22 PM   #84
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hello everybody!!
I'm back.
I just wasn't making the time for this forum nor for Beck behavior.
but the party is over!!!
I'm back on track today with a solid plan (which I intend to follow 100%) and just workin' in.
it works if ya work it!!!
it's only been a half a day and I feel better already.
something to be said for just that feeling you get from just being in control.
last night I had a few cocktails then found my spoon in the jar of peanut butter.
now that NEVER has a happy ending!!
ugh!!

I'll have to spend some time tonight reading all your posts from the past few days to catch up.
I hope you are all doing well and feeling well.

I just had the biggest most beautiful bouquet of tulips delivered to me at work!!
OMG, they are just beautiful.
from my BF to say happy mother's day.
he's such a sweetie . . . eeeek!!!

have a fabulous day and I'll check in again soon.
thanks for having me back no matter how much I mess up or disappear.
I know you are always here and that's a gift.

Lulu
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Old 05-09-2013, 09:28 PM   #85
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Good food day today, all in all, but a MAJOR challenge. Breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, not a problem. However, we're going to a party tomorrow night and I thought it'd be a good night to use up the frozen cookie dough I'd bought from a fundraising thing. One little piece of raisin in dough found its way into my mouth--but it was little. I fought off all the other pieces. I baked 3 dozen cookies (plus 1) and cooled them. I fought myself a bit more--I don't have a choice--these aren't for me. They're for tomorrow. I can have one at the party. They are now packaged to go--and there are still 37 cookies there!

Somehow in there the ice cream treat came into play as well. I fought it off as well. I am victorious tonight, but it was quite a battle. It was one of those nights when I needed a red ottoman to close my kitchen, but I had too much cleaning and putting away of stuff to do to leave it!

I also managed my squats, crunches, plank, and dumbbells tonight.

All in all, successful day.

I know I'll much a bit at the party tomorrow night, but I'm expecting that, and will have a light rest-of-the-day.

BillBE: Euchre is a trick taking card game--it's played all over the world, but it's primarily a Midwest game. It is much easier than bridge--it's easier than hearts or spades or pinochle, for that matter. It's a 4 person game and a group of us meet on-line in a Yahoo! game room every Sunday night to play. We're scattered, but several times a year we're all in the same place at one of the Big Events and then we play in person.)

Take care, all!
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Old 05-10-2013, 05:32 AM   #86
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Thumbs up Friday

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Extra walking, CREDIT moi, with two trips home in pouring rain. I had an umbrella both times even though I'd left the house under sunshine both times. The rain drove the petals off the flowering trees so that the umbrella was covered with wet petals that fell off when it dried and left the foyer looking like a walkway prepared for royalty. Enjoyed that picture . . . then had to get a broom before we had a petal strewn house.

Eating was OK including snacks, CREDIT moi, except for dinner made from the food served at a reception - as planned - but I hadn't expected walking hors d'oeuvres. Ouch. Top shelf stuff like rare beef on a stick with a dab of horseradish. Smoked salmon piled up over something white that didn't taste low calorie. Chatting with friends who were also grabbing as they passed by didn't make it easier. The good news is that receptions like that aren't often.


Joy (gardenerjoy) – One slice of bread away from a perfect day isn't bad. But it is the case that one slice is the gateway bread to . . . a whole baguette, LOL.

nationalparker – Ouch for the diversion at the movies. That "$18.50" I consider a gift from the gods of sticking to the path since it rankles me to be gouged. Swift recovery with, "So we recommitted to eating and snacking wisely and have the Rocky Mountain National Park plan back in place today." Is that an actual plan or a reference.

Beth (bethFromDayton) – 37 Fresh Kudos for those fresh baked cookies all destined for the event rather than your own use. Good plan to go light in anticipation of the party.

Jo (veganasaurusrex) – Kudos for breaking through to day 8 - Create Time and Energy. Celebrate the small steps, one by one by one after the other. Good plan, "Just have to keep on top of them!"

Lulu (LuLu01801) – Congrats for choosing such a neat BF who sends tulips. Good place to be, "back on track today with a solid plan."

sparks17 - Cool to already have in mind to "budget for indulgences" - it's so easy to get discouraged and then feel the 'right' to have a little something like a pint of Ben & Jerry's. It's a great start to be drawn to Cognitive Behavior Therapy. CBT works . . . provided that you overcome the monster Sabotaging Thought that the strategies are too simple to be necessary. Keep coming back.

Readers -
Quote:
chapter 5
Get Ready: Lay the Groundwork

day 2Pick Two Reasonable Diets
. . . Before you pick this primary diet, though, you need to know that there are no miracle diets and that no one diet works equally well for all dieters. Although, many diets are marketed as a "breakthrough" and "the easy way to lose weight," scientific research has determined that such sweeping claims are simply not true. All diets enable weight loss in the same way - by getting you to eat fewer calories.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 63.
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Old 05-10-2013, 07:41 AM   #87
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Hi Coaches!

We got all the wall demolition finished on our project. We are unable to go any further until the new water/sewer service is installed from the street to house. We feel happy with the progress and I'll meet with the excavator/water guy today. Food choices were good and my friend commented on "how healthy" we eat. credit. I've weighed this morning and am pleased with the number. credit. Today is "just another day" where I'll continue to focus on healthy behaviors.

sparks17, Welcome! I didn't get to say hello yesterday. Thanks for asking the scheduling question. It was great to read everyone's responses. I've made major headway with planning ala Beck. It seems I used to be at the grocery store every day which was inefficient AND opened many doors for additional items which weren't needed or wanted. We live in the mtns and a good store is an hour roundtrip. I've learned to purchase and stock very efficiently so that we can eat for 7-10 days OP without going to the store. I rotate a small number of meals and plug them into individual days based on available time.

BBE, it sounds like you fared pretty well with the reception. I'm glad, too, that those events don't occur too often. After the rain we've had this week I'm motivated to pull the umbrella from the thrift pile and stash it for a "rainy day". Lol

gardenerjoy, I loved your words from yesterday, "In fact that's much of what we do in this support thread--help each other deal with life in all it's imperfect glory and still be reasonably healthy". Kudos to us all!

nationalparker, are there any cards you can create for your sabotaging thought, "...but my epic fails are all I can think about". You’ve already recommitted and in reality it was just one day and just one set of choices you made which are a very small part of the big picture. credit yourself for moving on so quickly. BTW-my take is you've been suckered at the theater for the last time!

Beth(fromDayton
), kudos for sane actions around a "major challenge".

Jo(veganasaurusrex), credit for tackling day 8 for the first time and recognizing its further than you've ever gotten before. Kudos, also, for meeting your goal of setting reasonable portions.

LuLu, kudos for recognizing you need to make time for this forum AND for your Beck behaviors.
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Old 05-10-2013, 09:38 AM   #88
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I had a 90% day yesterday, just swapped a snack for something equivalent so I'm happy with that!

Exercise: +60 385/1000 for May

LuLu01801: a happy day with tulips!

bethFromDayton: Good job using your resistance muscle with all the interesting things in your kitchen right now! My Indiana relatives taught us Euchre so we taught people in Missouri.

BillBlueEyes: love the image of your petal-strewn foyer.

Lexxiss: that sounds like a big project! Glad it's going well!
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:19 PM   #89
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Well. Thinking this way - planning and being in control in advance of everything I eat - sure does not come naturally!!! I need more reminders around. Even when I am dieting and losing as I have been the past weeks, I really eat mindlessly a lot more often than I would have thought!

For example, I was on the phone with a friend and I went into the kitchen, washed a bowl of strawberries, cut them up and ate them, all while listening to my friend. Now, this snack was one that I was intending to eat - I was looking forward to it for after lunch! - and I just ate it early without consciously thinking about it. I bet I do it all the time!

Well, I am working on Day 5 today - can you tell? Being mindful. Very different thinking for me.

Sooo...can I give myself credit for planning a good snack? And for eating them sitting down?
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Old 05-10-2013, 09:18 PM   #90
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Hi there Coaches,
Finally, the needle on the scale moved downward! And I got to wear some kicky capris that I agent worn in years...feel in' sassy! Plans for water aerobics in the am and then more raquetball during dd dance class. Credit since my friend and raquetball partner wondered if we should cancel since I amgettingmy hairs done right after...she thought I wouldn't want to be sweaty... I will crank the ac when I drive there so I won't be sweaty!!

Fitbit giving me fits... Trying to contact their customer service since not working properly...hate that kind of stuff...

Sort of interesting that Boston is rainy and Seattle is sunny...I have to enjoy it...more tomorrow!!
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Beck Diet For Life/Solution – February 2013 – Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach BillBlueEyes Beck Diet Solution 269 03-01-2013 06:23 AM
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