Hi coaches - I am struggling.... it's those darn evenings. I need to pull out my strongest resistance techniques and throw a good dose of willingness. It's easy to wallow in a tough time. I don't want to do that. It's all so frustrating sometimes.
Part of it is facing six days away from home coming up. I am feeling defeated before I even start. I need to snap out of it!
One credit is that I have been reading my response cards and advantage cards.
So, I will carry on. Make my plan for the rest of the day and move forward.
I'll check in later.
This is something from Facebook today:
Think Thin Thursday Tip: If you go out to eat with a friend who then expresses disappointment when you order something healthy, remind yourself that it is not your responsibility to make others feel better about what they eat. It is your responsibility to be healthy and make eating choices that work for you.
Move ticker, move!
Next Mini Goal - 214
"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." - Margaret Thatcher
I can't lose 100 pounds....but, just maybe I can lose five pounds twenty times.
Last edited by Beverlyjoy : 05-02-2013 at 08:14 AM.
Wednesday was an OP day! I was able to wait until my stomach felt empty and/or was growling to eat my next meal or snack. I feel so much better eating when I know that I am truly hungry and I choose healthy foods. No guilt! And that feels wonderful!!! It was a gorgeous day here yesterday, but I was on the go literally all day long, so didn't get to walk the dogs. (DH did though, so they got their exercise and fresh air!)
LuLu: Congratulations on completing your fasting cleanse! Thank you for the insight about "managing" rather than "breaking" my food addiction. Once my mind gets stuck on something (i.e., breaking the food addiction), I have a hard time thinking outside of the box, so I appreciate your input and perspective. Maybe that is part of what is holding me back. Maybe I need to work on accepting that I have a food addiction, forgiving myself for it, and moving forward on Beck principles to help me manage it. I will take this into serious consideration.
spanky: HOORAY for your 3 day roll!!! Keep up the positive attitude and good food choices! You can do this! You ARE doing it!
Liz: Thank you for the snack suggestions. I eat some of the same stuff, but you gave me some other great ideas, too. Yes, those 100 calorie packs can be a slippery slope! Sometimes, though, they just "hit the spot!" I do limit myself to one.
onebyone: It is great to hear from you! Sounds like you are busy, busy, busy! I can relate to your sadness upon getting Looloo's pawprints from your vet and seeing her things lying around, especially those things you will be donating/letting go of. I am still finding stuff from our Golden who died in January...... and my heart sinks when I find these things. I am just now at the point that I am donating some of her old medications to our vet. [I was saving them "in case our other dogs ever needed them."] I will be taking the medicine to the vet tomorrow, and I know it will be difficult. I feel like I am letting go of her in some way, and I don't want to. But I need to. HUGS to you as you continue to process your grief. [My stomach is churning as I type this; perhaps I still have some grief to process.]
Hang in there and remember to take care of yourself in the midst of all of the busyness!
Good morning! We're enjoying a beautiful morning here, and I'm thankful for that. Was able to stay 90% on plan yesterday, and that was a success to me. Alone for dinner now for a few nights, and went very light as I'd had a larger lunch. Then busy with plant shopping and came home and caught up with a friend from home in Florida for almost two hours.
Lately, I've been frustrated when we talk because of her financial stress, but nearly all of the issues are self-induced (I mean what I think of as poor decisions, not unexpected health or vet or vehicle bills)... I find myself judging her when I have no right. But for her to be newly retired and DH unemployed, own a $425K home, buy another $300K beach home and have season tickets to NFL team and cry poor frustrates me. Credit that I kept busy for the evening, though. Made, of all things, rice krispie treats, for a coworker's birthday - they tend to go very quickly and no oven needed
Tonight I'm picking up more plants and the soil to get going on the patio planters. Itching to get some more color back there. The weekend cannot get here fast enough. Next weekend I work all the weekend, so I'm determined to enjoy this one completely.
Vet appt for aggressive cat (toward one other cat) went well, so I'm really keeping my fingers crossed that we see a change in the next 6-8 weeks on this medicine. I've procrastinated while trying everything I could think of, but now resigned to this step. Vet is very compassionate and said if this doesn't work, we could look at re-homing her since she's a great "solo" cat and i started crying. He backpeddaled and said well, that's just in extreme situations. Will keep a positive vibe about it and hope it works.
Volunteering gig today so subway afterward for lunch. NO CHIPS. NO CHOICE. My card of the day.
good morning, fine folks!!
I did some unplanned eating last night, I was just too excited about food I guess. no junk food though so kudos for that!!
I weighed myself this morning and I was exactly the same as yesterday morning. I was quite shocked as naturally some poundage comes back once eating again after not eating for so long. so I did something right yesterday, huh? CREDIT!!
today is gonna be a rough one.
we are celebrating Staff Appreciation Day here at my company today.
mind you, there 100s, maybe even a 1,000 staff members at my company.
we got a beautiful plant for our desk.
a breakfast buffet set up in the conference area (bagels, muffins, homemade granola, yogurt, blueberries, strawberries, pastries, coffee, juice, etc.)
I had blueberries and strawberries and my one unplanned munch was a couple of bites of that yummo granola, that’s it!!
then we have two raffles during the day with loads of prizes to win (the biggests ones being TVs, iPods, airline tix, red sox tix, restaurant gift cards, etc. . . . and little things like company logo coffee mugs, umbrellas, etc.)
hope I win!!!
then a huge luncheon spread today too, with the most fabulous food and desserts.
fortunately 90% of what is served I don’t eat, but I remember last year the most delicious grilled veggies (eggplant, tomatoes, asparagus, onions) sooooooo delish!!
I’ll plan on a plate of those and hope they are not too oily, if they are I’ll blot them with a napkin.
then tonight I have a second date with a fella I met and he’s taking me to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner.
I already checked out their menu and have made my selection . . . The Skinnylicious Vegetable Salad, minus the cheddar cheese.
just gotta stay out of the bread bowl . . . UGH!!!
so, as you can see, I will have a challenging day and doubt I will eat as planned 100%, but I’ll do my best.
gardening certain does account for many squats and lunges. I did about 10 hours of it last weekend and it’s tough work, so yes credit is due to you!!
what is your coached swim class like? do you do laps? perfecting different strokes? with the goal to pick up speed? nothing like the look of the sunlight shimmering the water.
sounds like a great way to get exercise and hydrotherapy, all in one!!
I love green smoothies! yesterday I had green juice that I put through my new juicer that I slurged on. I used carrots, celery, cukes, parsley, ginger and granny smith apple, delish!!!
thanks for your congrats to me!!
rice and beans . . . yum!! I’m going to a Cinco de Mayo party this weekend with a full Mexican menu. 90% of it I don’t eat. the only things I saw that have potential for me are rice and beans (but I have to ask if it was made with chicken stock or bacon fat), and Cuban Black Beans (again, must ask ingredients) and homemade guacamole (which should be a sure vegan thing but then that means I get into the tortilla chips) UGH!!!
so great that you resisted all that junk food yesterday!! YEEHA!!!
about the animal ethical thing . . . sometimes I wonder if I care more about the animals than I do for myself, since I consider them with every bite I take, and don’t do that for myself.
so glad to hear you are back on track!!
I do not expect a sense of closure anytime soon with my weight issue. I’m at my goal (actually below it) and the fight feels more intense for me. instead of being on the solid path to goal, I’m on the slippery slope, and it’s sometimes hard to hold my balance on that slope. my advice would be to not be looking for an end to the mission, and live in the day and do what you need to do for today. the future is always uncertain, no since trying to predict it. that’s what I tell myself, anyway.
yeah, I look at the Beck book as a perpetual read. finish it, start all over again, as I always feel like a beginner. kinda like AA meetings where they read the big book together and when they are done, they start from the beginning again and read it over and over and over again.
so sad that you lost your LooLoo (my namesake kitty!) I lost my Romeo doggie 7 years ago and I still have his ashes in a wooden box with his picture inserted in a slot in the front of the box, it’s on top of my fridge, with a lock of his fur cut and sitting on top of it. He’ll always be in my heart, and unfortunately pets don’t stick around for a long as we’d like them to. good luck on the job opportunity!!
I’ve been doing some unplanned eating myself, but still staying within my points. easy to justify that eating but I understand Beck as far as developing new habits. I’ll get it one of these days!!
yeah, sometimes it just feelings like bragging when I give myself credit, but it’s getting easier with all of you doing it too!!
yes it is frustrating. tackling food issues is a full-time job and it’s exhausting sometimes. but we’re all in this together!! again, thanks for posting those facebook newsfeeds every day, they are helpful.
way to go, being OP yesterday . . . all we have is each day as it comes, so that’s an accomplishment!! I’m glad that what I suggested to you yesterday you found helpful. just like AA people that have been sober in that program for 25 years or more . . . they still say “I’m an alcoholic”.
I hear ya about your frustration with your rich poor friend. I have a friend like that, that lives beyond their means. and she comes to be for money!! some people can't control their food, some can't control their finances. we all have our stuff, I guess.
Thursday near the shore of a kettle lake in the oak ridges moraine
Big workday today.
Fantastic day to spend at home working the day away. Not a cloud in the sky.
Official weigh-in day. +0.2 to 250.0 exactly. Every cell in my body certainly has a sense of humour. Fie to that 250 number, yet thanks to not being more. Its a good starting point and it's also a 10lb loss in the month of April. Yay. Something to remember as I head into my travels next week.
Food was awesome last night as we had our first bbq of the year. DH was thrilled. I was thrilled. Caesar was thrilled as we took him out on his leash, now 2x as long since I added Looloo's leash to it. I am thinking of getting him a tie out like dogs have so he can be outside with me. I don't trust him off the leash but the two small ones are too short. I did also think that I can describe him pretty well were he to be lost: big gray cat with muted stripes, scar across bridge of nose, walks with limp and has one big bottom tooth, answers to name of Caesar. Plus I have tons of pictures, he has a microchip (which needs to be changed) and he doesn't go out without a collar on with tags with our phonenumber but his tag says Tinkerbell --Looloo's former name given to her by my sister --the tags came with our phone number on them - 2 tags: pink and purple hearts with a purple collar with pink palm trees on it.
Anyway, food today is planned. *credit* gotta get to work now. Have a good day
__________________ **** 5lbs at a time. one * for every pound lost. RESTART:19/1/2015 - 284.8lbs
oh yeah, I almost forgot!!
while I was on my cleanse, I kept a daily journal, writing a full notebook page each day.
last night I was rereading the 30 pages of writing, and it sure was interesting to see what I was feeling and what was on my mind each day.
one thing I wrote on Day 7, I want to share with you:
"it's really not about what you can or cannot, should or should not eat or drink . . . it's all about your frame of mind, your mindset. it's not about your strength to resist temptation, its about the strength you get from passion for what you really want to achieve."
I read that last night and thought "wow, where did that come from?" haha
I was so grateful this morning that although the temp had dropped to the 40s with windchill in the 30s and a big wind--it wasn't raining as predicted. Yeaaa! Ms. Emma the Rocket Dawg and I had a lovely wog, and I wore sunglasses. My bod is really sore from all the workouts, so before the wog I did yoga & foam roller.
BillBE - The birding sounds great! I've been seeing large groups of birders on the running paths in the aboretum & nature conservancy. (Some of them are so lost in their amazement and viewfinders, they block the path for those of us trying to move. Bless their hearts.) Are you and/or other birders starting a pool to predict when the warblers with non-yellow rumps will arrive?
Kay (IBelieveinMe2) - You can east JUST ONE (of the 100-cal packets)? You are a goddess. But then we already knew that. Congrats on your excellent OP day! I'm so happy for you!
NationalParker - I recognize your friend and want to dope slap her. Part of my very visceral reaction is because I'm currently editing a sort-of friend's novel draft--and she has populated her book with characters like what you described. All of them. Self-entitled, whiny, heading for ruin at their own hands. Anygry at people who aren't thinking of them. It's exhibited in different ways with each, but a pattern in every single character. (And my impression is that the author wants the reader to really like some of them--like the two protagonists.) I want to scream, and am regretting agreeing to the edit (free & an act of friendship) and wondering if the characters reflect something about the author. Anyway... I am happy for you that your friend does not live nearby.
Lulu - It's wonderful that your company tangibly expresses their appreciation for their most precious assets! GREAT JOB on your discretion at the cornucopia-like breakfast buffet! Also on maintaining weight-wise. Waytago! Also, good luck on winning a great prize or eight on this fabulous day at your company. Re: your question about the swim workout: It entails a warm-up (400-500 yds interspersing various combinations of 100-yd swim, 100-yd kick, 100-yd pull--that's using a "pull buoy" between the knees, which keeps the bottom half afloat & allows total focus on the upper body & stroke.) Then usually a few hundred yards of 25-50 yd drills to improve stroke & general technique. Sometimes breathing drills--like going the pool length with incrementally fewer breaths & ultimately doing the distance with one breath. Then doing repeats of various distances (usu 50-200 yards) at differing paces/levels of intensity to increase speed & stamina. I would like to improve my swimming--technique, speed, & stamina--but my main goal is the workout. There's nothin' like it.
I won a raffle at work!!!
not one of the grand prizes but I won a fleece jacket with the company logo on it.
I didn't eat exactly what I said I was going to.
I had plain salad with roasted veggies on top (that was planned).
what was not planned was a small tongful of ziti.
and one plain small crusty roll.
darn!!! I said I wasn't going to do that!! grrrrrrr..................
I suppose it could have been worse and so glad that there was no dessert for Lulu . . . the gals were enjoying those fancy deserts and stuffed shells and fattening stuff.
but I can't be comparing myself to others that don't have the goal that I do.
I can't get into the "it's not fair" mode.
"right, it's not fair . . . oh well."
I decided to spend yesterday afternoon at the bookstore doing market research. My first thought was to take myself out to lunch, but I couldn't think of anything to eat at the mall that sounded better than what I had planned at home. Well, it sounded better but only if I overate it, not if I ate it in a reasonable amount. If I were going to eat a reasonable amount of food, I preferred what I had at home. Credit for eating my planned lunch.
In answer to spanky's question about what happens on the other side of the wall of goal weight, I haven't really experienced it as a wall. More of an oscillating spring. Most of the time, I'm trying to lose back down to the middle of my maintenance range after I've sprung back up to the top (or over it). That's the bad news.
The good news is that along the way I realized that what I was learning about myself to lose weight was equally applicable to other things in life -- and I didn't have to wait until I hit goal weight to apply them. Yesterday's bookstore trip was a celebration of a milestone. I finished the rough draft of a book project on Tuesday. Getting it written required pretty much the same things that losing weight did -- finding structures and strategies and tips and tricks that worked for me.
Good evening! I've gotten so much done this evening - feels good! Gorgeous weather here again. I stopped at Lowe's on my way home and spent an hour admiring all of the plants while talking to my brother who lives in Florida. Wonderful time spent. Picked up a small variety and got right to work on the large planters. Then another quick run out for a few more, and am finished; very pleased with results. I love the flowers we had in our gardens and patios over in Italy (the deep red geraniums, etc.) and I cannot pass those by to this day.
Dinner was eaten way too quickly to get it "over with" and get outside. I wish I'd have savored it a bit more. Because now I'm wanting to just munch, so hopped on here.
Meetings abound tomorrow at work. Looking forward to doing personals as we close in on the weekend and I have more time. Think I'm going to hop in a hot bubble bath to avoid the kitchen and relax!
Good News with the changing of the month. I am down 3 pounds. YES!!!! Sometimes I resist only changing my ticker once a month but it helps me let go of compulsiveness and reminds me that finding peace with food is a long race. OP today. Meeting tonight and i will go to it with an empty belly which is what my goal is every night. No exercise. Frustrated that my feet are still painful.
nationalparker: I share the trouble with frustration when listening to friends who I feel are making bad decisions or morally "wrong" decisions. I realize that as I judge others ruthlessly, I judge myself in the same manner. I am working on a meditation "Teach me to forgive myself and others." I am tired of being so hard on everything.
LuLu: Work has historically been super tough for me. Credit for at least a plan.
Lizagna: That is a big gift of friendship to edit a book. Yikes!
Gardenerjoy: Big Credit on the book project. That is a big deal!
Today was an OP day. Now that I'm back at work I find I really miss my mid day walks. I can't do them for a few more weeks, but I look forward to being able to again.
I've got tomorrow all planned out. I know that I'm tight on time in the mornings and I know I am not going to get up 15 minutes earlier for a leisurely breakfast. So, I packed breakfast as well as lunch and I'll bring it into work tomorrow and eat there.
My food, as entered, is a bit over my calorie goal, but it's a balanced set of meals with a single snack. It's hard to eat at my goal now that I'm back at work--I managed at home somehow, probably because I wasn't moving much, but I think I'll just have to accept a slightly higher caloric intake since I can't exercise any of it away!
Hi coaches... been struggling. So glad that everyday is a new beginning. I am going to see my 'smile makers'' as Billbe says (grandkids). Since I have a dumbphone... I must rely on others to stay in contact with the internet. I will check in when I can. As from the conversation with the dietician, I will start each day with a healthy breakfast and plan the best I can. I will use my exchanges and aim for food sanity.
As always, I appreciate your words of support. Talk to you later.
Move ticker, move!
Next Mini Goal - 214
"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." - Margaret Thatcher
I can't lose 100 pounds....but, just maybe I can lose five pounds twenty times.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Wonderful day of no extra snacking, CREDIT moi. I needed a perfect food plan day to revigorate my mojo. A key event was passing a bowl of FREE Tootsie Rolls - helpfully left by a generous soul by the coffee. I recognized that a sugar hit in the morning would alter my brain for the whole day. Lunch was changed when a friend asked me to join him at a local place even though I had my packed lunch with me. It was an easy choice, since camaraderie is high on my goals. The red lentil soup was superb as was the salad - whose feta cheese wasn't particularly low calorie.
Walking, CREDIT moi, in the warm sunshine was a joy. There are tulips and daffodils everywhere.
onebyone – Yay for the first BBQ of the season. It's fun to hear you talk of Caesar who had disappeared from your conversations here.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – A day in a bookstore for you seems a bit like a rabbit in a brier patch - glad you had a reason. Kudos for recognizing how to use your CBT stuff elsewhere in your life. And congrats on completing that book draft.
Beverlyjoy – She coaches herself, "I need to snap out of it!" So glad you're finally getting to see your DGS laugh therapist. Have a good trip.
maryann - Congrats on another three pounds gone. Hope those feet begin to feel better.
nationalparker – Kudos for giving yourself credit for a neat 90%. You're a good friend to listen when a friend has to whine - but super smart to stay untangled from someone's illusions of money problems.
Beth (bethFromDayton) – Packing breakfast for the office is a neat change - hope that works for you.
IBelieveInMe2 – Waiting for hunger before eating is a neat education.
Liz (lizagna) – Needing sunglasses to walk is a good sign. [No betting on warblers' arrival - they're pretty independent.]
Lulu (LuLu01801) – Yay for a day of being celebrated by your company followed by being celebrated by a guy who shows up for a second date. You're doing something right. You won that fleece jacket just in time - it began to turn chilly yesterday afternoon.
chapter 5 Get Ready: Lay the Groundwork
day 1 Record the Advantages of Losing Weight
. . .If your doctor gave you an antibiotic
to get rid of a bad infection, would you take only
half the pill? Of course not. Likewise, don't try
. . .to take shortcuts with this program.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 61.
New Journey: 10 years
In maintenance phase: 8 years and 6 months
Following Dr. Judith Beck via 3FC's Beck Diet Solution Forum: 8 years