[maryann]

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Thanks for the reminder that I choose to not use my tools. Sometimes it feels like someone chooses for me.
Beverlyjoy – I am extremely aware of wanting seconds right now. It is such a trap. How could a little more hurt? But oh, it is a rabbit hole

Tazzy - My fall and holiday seasons were way to busy as well. i look forward to quiet with no events this winter.

Ann (Newlifestyle) - Good to hear from you. It sounds definitely
like Alexander's No Good Very Bad Day. Be kind to yourself

nationalparker – We have sweet potatoes from the farm --about two big paper boxes full. I have been loving them.

Beth (bethFromDayton) – Life is imperfect. So are our meals. This battling food addiction is a long race. Congrats for practicing the tools of moderation and ingenuity.

IBelieveInMe2 – Congrats on Day 3.

As for me, I made it back 14 hours later. I am very proud of the moderate food I ate in the airport. Today has not been planned but I have still mostly kept away from wheat/refined sugar. Portions are reasonable. My body is way out of whack with time and sleep problems over the week. Boys are going to the Kings game and I am watching the 49ers battle Green Bay.
Credit for deciding not to solve the world's or my own problems tonite. (I have been dwelling on the terrible wars going on around the world and I have been feeling gulty that I am so lucky to have been born in America. This thinking is a result of the horrific stories being told by the students.) I am putting the thoughts away. Dwelling on gratitude and praying for peace.

My overeating is not going to help anyone.

[Julia150]

Oh, Ann, I'm so sorry for your loss. I fully understand the raw feeling you describe, my father passed away about 3 weeks ago. Much of the time I do OK but I experience the same meltdowns you mentioned. My co-workers gave me beautiful houseplant and a card with messages of condolences. I can't even think about the card without crying (as I am doing now). I want to write thank you notes to them but the thought of spending the time doing that sends me in a tailspin. My thoughts are with you, I send calming thoughts to you. I know the healing will take time but it will come and we will be able to treasure the time we had with our loved ones.

You had a crap day and I would've had the same feeling of wanting to throw the poop. The thing that would have stopped me is the thought of visualising the headlines "Woman arrested for assault, threw poop at a passerby". Nah, I think visualising smearing it on her coat would be very satisfying.

Keep posting, I'll be around for awhile.
Julia

[bethFromDayton]

Hi all!

I got up this morning and went for a walk--I hit the snooze alarm too many times, but I eventually got out of bed and got moving. So, a few too many snooze alarm hits from the give in muscle, but I went for a walk by myself, which I usually hate to do. I took my iPhone and cranked the tunes.

When I got home, I realized that I hadn't done a plan last night. So, I wrote one up for the day. I made breakfast for DH and I and knew what I was going to do the rest of the day. Oops. After our meeting with some people, we ended up going out to lunch--Mexican. I stayed within my calorie plan, though by ordering a la carte, packing half up uneaten, and not eating any chips at all! Dinner was completely on plan.

It's only been a week and I've had two last minute changes. This isn't uncommon for my world, so I am going to need to figure out the best way to "plan for the unexpected". Planning the night before (or earlier) what I'm going to exercise and eat all day is essential, but I need to be sure to have a backup plan for when things change, and be prepared to flex the rest of the day to accomodate whatever changes to the plan I had to make. If I can keep my meals balanced and the calories within range, then I feel as if I'm doing what I need to take care of myself. I'd love to hear how everyone deals with the need to be flexible while needing to make weight loss and management a priority.

I printed two copies of my Advantages Response Card and I put one on my dresser so I'd read it every morning when I get things out of it. Credit for me there. I put another on my desk in front of the monitor.

I desperately wanted a snack well before dinner time, but I didn't think I was truly hungry, so I started putting together a response card for myself about why I shouldn't have a snack and what my desire to eat really meant. Just reading the ARC didn't seem to get through to me well enough. I skipped the snack, did other things, and then went and made my planned dinner.

Today's other successes: eating mindfully and slowly, and not eating anything standing up--not even a piece of shredded cheese or a strawberry chunk!

I hope it's okay that I write so much--perhaps it's the newness and early motiviation that makes me so wordy! (or maybe I'm just wordy)

BillBlueEyes: Kudos for being mostly on eating plan and adjusting your snack as needed. Some exercise is still better than none. I'd be interested in hearing how everyone deals with "life getting busy"!

onebyone: I think you should give yourself credit for coming up with a weekly goal that it measurable. I thought what Beverlyjoy suggested made sense--what about starting the book over again? Perhaps you won't go through everything day by day, but re-reading might be very valuable.

Beverlyjoy: YAY for Friday being completely on plan! (I see you're an early riser.

Lexxiss: Yup, credit for checking in, and credit for making a plan for today. And credit for not letting one day helter skelter derail you.

nationalparker: Congrats on successful eating out--and making portion control work. It was warm here, too--great day to be out for a walk.

BigchiefDavid: You disappeared for a few days and new people show up. Hi. Credit for being back on track.

Julia15: I'm new, too. If you're starting at the beginning of the pink book, we're at about the same place. I crammed a few days together, but now I'll be working through them more at the laid out pace. We can keep track together, if you like.

Newlifestyle: When I lost my brother two years ago, the meltdowns were just part of the process. Take care of yourself as best you can and give yourself credit for making those steps forward, even if there are some backwards ones in there, too. (And it's a good thing you didn't throw the poop at her, but it's a great image.)

[IBelieveInMe2]

Today was a combination of mistakes and credits for me. Although I had looked ahead at Day 3 yesterday and knew about eating sitting down, I forgot to do this for both breakfast and lunch. Opened my pink Beck book to Day 3 and only then did I realize that I had eaten both meals standing up (back to my default mode). Was tempted to beat myself up about it, but chalked it up as a lesson learned. I ate a healthy snack and my dinner sitting down. My eating has been much better this past week. Credit! I actually measured out a serving of pistachios today, to be sure that I didn't eat more than 1 serving! Yay me! But ~ darn it ~ I just remembered that I ate those standing up. We were on our way out the door and I hadn't eaten anything in awhile and was truly (physically) hungry (and I knew it would be awhile before we ate dinner), so I grabbed them real quick before we left. I woke up with pain in my neck and shoulders and developed more aches and pains and felt increasingly lousy as the day went on. In spite of this, I managed to get in a short workout. Credit.

onebyone: It sounds as though you are feeling stuck. I agree with Beverlyjoy that "the process of writing your feelings down can be so helpful." Journaling, especially when I feel stuck or overwhelmed, has been a lifeline for me and has given me so many great insights into myself and helped get me back on board with life. I highly recommend it for you during this tough time. Hope things start looking up for you soon!

BigchiefDavid: Hello! Nice to meet you! Happy to hear that you are back after your layoff from posting!

Julia150: Welcome to 3FC and welcome home to our Beck group!!! I am new to 3FC and to this group, too. I can already see that this is really a special group of coaches and buddies. Are you reading any of the Beck books and what diet plan are you following? I really like your analogy to go with the concept of the plate breaking, so you throw all the plates onto the floor. That really puts things in perspective, doesn't it? I am so sorry about your father's death. Sending hugs and prayers your way. Take good care of yourself! Best of luck to you on your weight loss journey! We have the same start and goal weights, so let's support and encourage each other all the way to victory!!!

Everyone else, I will have to catch up with you tomorrow. Feeling incredibly sick and exhausted! Going to bed. Hope all is well with everyone else!

[BillBlueEyes]

Julia (Julia150)

And, on the occasion of your first posts,

LOL that you preempted the questions. Glad to hear that you discovered the books by Dr. Judith Beck by googling about, and discovered our Beck forum here on 3FC the same way. Yay for google.

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Back on track with eating, CREDIT moi. Just didn't wander about snacking on anything. Which is a big deal since I spent some of my day at an auto dealership in the presence of a car salesman. He drove me crazy, e.g. "This car might not be here later if you don't buy it right now." Fortunately, my DW calmly replied, "But others will be," LOL. I didn't eat about it.

Exercise was my physical therapy exercises plus a lot of general going about. We saw Pippin last night in a local production marking its 40th anniversary since it hit Broadway - scheduled to return to Broadway in the spring. It's brouhaha big time: acrobatics, trapeze artists, juggling, singing, dancing, small orchestra. Pippin is presented as the oldest son of Constantine the Great. But I doubt that. And I doubt that today is really International Skeptics Day.


onebyone – Sounds like time to "persist in victory--guard your accomplishments" You can produce art while "mad at the world." And, as you pointed out, you can stay your plan also. Perhaps if you reduce your to-do list to a single item, you can succeed and then relish the victory.

Debbie (Lexxiss) – Interesting - I've still memorized the phone number of the local pizza place from when the kids were little and sometimes that was the way out of a disaster. Kudos for recognizing that you're not in a disaster and can choose not to order pizza.

Beverlyjoy – Good grief, you were able to resist a cookie delivered by cutiepie sisters. You're one strong woman; Kudos.

maryann - Waving back toward California. Kudos for moderation in airports - the ultimate generator of tension. Congrats to your 49ers last night. On to the title game you are.

Ann (Newlifestyle) - Kudos for dealing with grief by whatever style happens in your life. There isn't a right way, and we don't get to do it privately hiding in our basement. I so identify with the desire to use the dog poop to make a point; I'm not good responding to clueless.

BigchiefDavid – Yep, that's past and time for back on track. No doubt that wives' business trips are designed to make us guys grateful.

nationalparker – Happy anniversary. Sounds fun to split date night into two evenings. Hope your concert was entertaining.

Beth (bethFromDayton) – Kudos for your day's successes. One of the ways to deal with the juggling forced by real life is to have alternative plans in our pocket. Plans are possible for commonly frequented restaurants and a generic plan is useful for that which can't be foreseen. Sounds like you're doing a good job with that.

IBelieveInMe2 – Big Kudos for counting pistachios. The first time I read a diet menu that read "27 almonds" I went bonkers, as in Who counts nuts? Well, now I do before I serve myself. When I don't, the portion grows a little larger each event.

Julia (Julia150) – Sending supportive thoughts for the very recent loss of your father. Seems wise that you understand that healing will take time.

Interesting observation that professional credibility can be influenced by weight. Thanks for sharing your Advantages. I love the image of a car at a gas station - time to get back on the road. Glad you've joined us.


Readers -

chapter 2
What Really Makes You Eat

From Trigger to Eating

..........Just as the decision to eat
can reduce tension, the decision not to eat
..........can also reduce tension.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 31.

[Bootedkitty]

Just popping in to say HALLO EVERYBODY!!! I'm from now on, following, reading, supporting you!!! :-)
Kitty

[Tazzy]

Good morning Everyone!

A good first week for me on WW Online, down 4.2 and feeling quite happy with a plan. Went to the gym yesterday with my sister to review weight machines that I had not looked at for a long time. I am feeling the repercussions of that today but in a good way.

My Chili's restaurant meal was a success. Of the 5 things I had noted that would be decent choices, the Canadian menu only had one to offer. Grilled salmon with rice and veggies. I passed on the rice as it was either cilantro or chiplote seasoned and I don't like either of those. I asked for a double serving of the veggies instead. My friends were eating tortilla chips and dip and I was not at all tempted to have one. They also both had fries with their meal and I know either of them would have been willing to share but I refrained from asking. CREDIT.

Today's plan is to get the dogs outside for a long walk. I think it's supposed to be about -5C today and sunny, which will make for a nice winter day. We like to get them to a new park area with lots of new smells to tire out them out mentally! I'll try to get a photo downloaded of them when I can figure out how to do that! I cannot remember who asked about them, here's their stories. We adopted both dogs last year, Dexter in July and Suka in November. Dexter and his sister were abandoned by their mom near a garbage dump on a native reserve near Calgary. Suka was found with his mom and siblings further south in Alberta. There was 11 puppies in the litter and 6 of them were eaten by coyotes before the rescuers got to them. When we adopted him there were 4 of the siblings left, his mom had already been adopted. Being they are both rescues we don't know their breeds beyond what we think they look like. Dexter looks like a shepherd/rottweiler mix and Suka looks like shepherd/border collie mix. We are hoping that Suka does not get quite as big as Dexter, his growing rate has been a bit slower and his feet were not nearly as big to start with. We actually got DNA tests for them and I sent them off yesterday. It will be interesting to see what comes back. It will give us the breeds so we know what to expect health and temperament wise. No kidding the pet industry is really big business.

Time to plan my menu for today and make a grocery list, think it will be pretty quiet at the grocery store this early in the day.

Have a great Sunday everyone!

[Lexxiss]

Hi Coaches!

I like today's reading which reminds me that sometimes the decision NOT to eat can help to relieve stress.
I've weighed this morning and have a food plan for today. I had a pretty good day yesterday and found a way to pass the fudge on to a customer at work and did have a small piece of cake after I pitched all the icing. credit

[nationalparker]

Welcome, Booted Kitty! You're checking in from my favorite place on earth. I grew up for a few years in Italy and have returned there once alone and loved that experience, and with my husband, getting to "show" him everything. Now subliminally mentioning Italia, 2015 to him in his sleep. We'll see how that goes.

Welcome, Julia150!! I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your father. Notes on here make me remember how thankful I am to have my family still with me, despite being a late in life surprise to my folks (in their early 80s now). You're in our thoughts!

The concert was great - I'm past the age of finding amusement in drunk women now (did I ever - or was I just more tolerant?) ... great performance, great band, such a fun night. We had a snack beforehand and got out at 11 and had planned on all things, of stopping at an IHOP. I had set that I'd have oatmeal and avoid the fat traps. Then it was pouring SO MUCH, that I said let's just find something at home and save $ and time. DH was fine with that - he's a roll with the flow guy. Bonus!

Scale is finally down another pound and I'm taking it before it disappears.

Weekend time has been limited for personals, need to read and respond!

[Julia150]

Thank you all for the welcome. Seahawks are playing Atlanta, do I care? Not much, but a little. Yesterday was good day following plan. The timing on my meals was off, every meal was delayed but OP. DD18 and I went shopping. Shopping with her used to be painful she never liked anything. We had a good time together.

Tazzy-I’m going to copy your quote from gardnerjoy onto a card for myself: “It’s easier to stay on plan that to get back on plan” How true. Good job at Chili’s! Kudos on 4.2!! Fabulous start. I seems like you are just north of me (Alberta?) I’m in Washington state. It’s colder here today but…sunny!

IBelieveInMe: Wow, you have a lot of resources researched! How does dietwatch work? I looked at the site (what they would let me see without joining) I am curious mostly about the planning help. I am using (shhhh) Jenny Craig. I’ve been there in the past but got realllly mad at them for pushing so much product at me. I have a counselor now that isn’t a product pusher and will work with me on my terms. Right now I can’t put too much effort into planning, I just don’t have the mental energy. Cool that we are starting at the same weight with the same goal!! Let’s get there together. Just out of curiosity, how do you eat a meal standing up? What else are you doing? Snacking I identify with but a meal? You must be doing something else or in a hurry, or a habit? Just curious, not being judgemental. My habit is to eat while reading books or computer. When our kids were little we always ate at the table as a family. Now DS has moved away and DD,DH and I have developed bad habit of eating on the couch. I think this is what Dr. Beck is going to cover soon for me.

Onebyone: Boy, I can relate to being resistant/floundering about a plan and sticking to it. I wish I could give you suggestions on what would help but can only offer a big hug. Keep coming back to supportive people though, like the people I’ve seen on this site.

Lexxis: I read your bio, I am in awe that you can run a restaurant and lose weight. Writing that just made the thought pop into my head that I REALLY have a skewed idea of the importance of food and its role in my life. Seriously, lots of people work around food everyday, everywhere and don’t dive in and eat everything they see.

BigChiefDave: One of my biggest regrets is not modeling good eating for my children. When I went back to work we ate fast food way too much. Big credit for getting back on the horse!

Ann: I so hope your day is better today. I hear your pain in your posts. Know that my good thoughts are still coming your way.

Beth: I’d be thrilled to work through the Beck book with you. It will help me to have someone at the same point as I am. I have the Pink Book and the workbook that goes with it. I can’t find the big pink book, I think DD took it downstairs so yesterday I worked from the workbook. I tend to get impatient and work and read ahead (like that’s going to make me lose faster-ha)

BillBlueE: Thank you for the warm welcome and the condolences. I’m looking forward to the day when I can say “My dad passed away” without crying. The sadness affects all my thoughts: I miss my son, my DD will go off to college in the fall (I miss her already) my siblings live far away (I miss them)my in-laws live far away (I miss them) Sad, sad, sad….must make more phone calls and make plans. I so admire your maintenance longevity and dedication. Thank you for your example. Any advice you have about how to get there? One day at a time?

Kitty: Hello right back to Italy! I hope you will post often, I love to hear about life around the world.

NationalParker: Yup, drunk people lose their charm fast. I hope your parents are in good health in their eightys. My dad was 81 and has been in poor health for the last 5 years. It’s a motivator for me, I had my dear children later as well, it’s important for me to be healthy and be with them as long as possible. I want my retirement years to be fun and rewarding!

Time to get on with the day!

[Beverlyjoy]

Checking in.... food was good yesterday. Woke up today with that back pain again. Phooey. I don't care for the medicine. I've got to get myself better by Tuesday - for that is my first day of work this week. I do know, however, I will have help bringing in my things. Grateful for that.

My food is good. It was fine yesterday. The scale has stayed the same all week, even though I"ve been OP all week. I am trying to keep in mind... it's just information. I've been writing it all down, weigh/measure/logged food, lots of water, gentle stretches, checking in.

Hope everyone is having a GREAT day.

bootedkitty - WELCOME! So glad you posted! My Grandpa was born in Italy (1890's) - his name was Nick Castelli (Mom's dad - so I am 1/4 Italian) When he was ten years old his dad pinned a twenty dollar bill inside his coat and put him on the boat to America - all by himself. I can't imagine letting my child go to our downtown alone at that age - let alone on a boat by himself. He had someone meeting him when he got to port in America. It all ended well. It's a fun story, really. Now, back to Beck. Yes, Dr. Beck's principals and techniques are so helpful.

Julia150 - WELCOME! It was nice to see your post. Folks here are very helpful and supportive. I am so very sorry to hear of your Dad's passing on.

[maryann]

Afternoon, Coaches.
Today I did my official Jan which involves a ticker change. I have to raise it another 2 pounds which means it has been a five pound raise over as many months. This was not a terrific feeling. Still November thru Jan was one of the most stressful time I have had in many years. Credit for persistence. If I didn't lose then at least I know what I ate was very healthy. Credit also for telling myself it is just information (like Beverleyjoy)
Julia150: Just saw the nailbiter final. Seattle should probably have won. I am so sorry about your father. I have learned that following a food program during grief allows you to be present for the feelings. I find in the end it is a powerful tool for peace. Welcome to the forum.
national parker: Congrats on the dropping scale. That is a big deal.

[Newlifestyle]

Hello everyone,
Thanks for all the kind words and caring you have all offered me. It means so much to me. I hope one day to be able to give back to you all. It humbles me.

Bill - Those car dealers sure know how to make people feel like they will miss out on something if the don't act right now. Yeah for DW's response and yeah for not eating over it. Great job for you being back on track with eating.

onebyone – I am sorry to hear you are mad at the world. I do wish the world shows you the many good things it has to offer. Hugs to you. I was also thinking if I could I would push the wagon really fast and we could both jump on.

Debbie – With the day I had yesterday, I am glad I didn't come to your restaurant, I would have gladly taken the fudge...today is another day.

Beverlyjoy – Wow, I can't imagine a young boy like that crossing the ocean. I too worry when my son who is 10 wants to go with his friends to the park by themselves. Sorry to hear you woke up with back pain.

maryann - I love that book, it made me smile when I thought about it. Thank you for mentioning about not being able to solve the world's problems. I always feel like it is my duty to do this.

David – Great job getting back on track

nationalparker – Happy anniversary. Congrats on the pound lost.

Beth -congrats for your successes for the day. Wow. Would it be okay for me to work through the pink book with you also?

IBelieveInMe2 – I hope you are feeling better soon.

Julia – I am so sorry to hear that your dad passed away. Hugs to you and thank you for sharing. My day is much better today, thank you.

Kitty - welcome, I always wanted to visit Italy, it sounds so beautiful.

Tazzy, congrats on the 4.2 pound lost.

Hello to everyone else, I am sorry if I missed any of you.

As I type this I realize that I am truly blessed to have all of you, you are wonderful. I was feeling a calmness as I read this thread. Thank you for helping me through this.

Ann

[bethFromDayton]

Hi everyone, just a quick check in tonight. I'm at the kitchen table because my desk is tipped over and DH is putting in a floor outlet for me.

I took another early (for me) walk this morning, which is fortunate, because it rained all day. I didn't eat to plan at all, actually, but am totally within calorie and nutrition ranges. After our trip to Lowe's to get new cutting tools, we went to Applebee's. I ordered off their 550 and under menu and so wasn't off from what I was planning on making at home, which is now on plan for tomorrow.

I am very spontaneous and balk at planning, but not planning has led me to gain weight and for us to eat out a lot. I talked back a bit at Dr Beck's insistence on planning, but recognize that I need to do. So, I've scheduled "plan next week's meals" as a weekend task (at any time), to be done at 9:00 Sunday night if it isn't done before then. I will grocery shop Monday after work, and then again, if needed, Thursday after work.

I pulled two new recipes from the "Cooking Lite" website and put the ingredients on the shopping list. I've got all my lunches and dinners (and about half the breakfasts) planned for next week and decided to give myself a break and do the rest of the breakfasts tomorrow. I need to come up with some options besides eggs that are protein rich!

So, it's the end of my first week--I've lost 2 pounds, my calories have been in range every day, I've walked every day, and I've logged all my food. I've started eating only sitting down and eating more slowly.

Thanks for everyone's support during my first week!