I don't go to school on Friday so I feel I have some leisure to catch up with personals.
NatureGirl: I 100% agree that hope is a word which sets us up excuses. The hardest thing I have learned is to focus on the the footwork to be done and "let go of expectations/hope." I was called a "Hope Junkie" by my counselor last week. I "hope" my family will treat me differently. I "hope" i won't feel anxiety at my job. I am always disappointed. If I take care of myself and let God do the rest, I am much happier.
Big credit and example of letting go of my "hope addiction" : I said "No" to another weekend away. Even when the weekend was designed to be in my honor for my 25th sober anniversary. I feel guilty and I am uncomfortable But I made a committed to not schedule more than 1 event a month through next year. This is big change for me and I am willing to be uncomfortable. BEing away from home too much impacts my eating, spending and sleeping patterns. I need to stay home more.
Gardenerjoy: I feel for you. The scary stories of how fragile we really all are always make me very hungry!
TeachMe: Big, big deal to go to bed hungry. I have been working on it for two years and it still challenges me.
Jaye (Midnightsun68): Little changes like a puppy getting you out the door and out of yourself make big changes down the line.
onebyone: September is almost here. I know you will appreciate the support of your meetings, again.
Tazzy: Glad for the reminder of hungry isn't tired. I always get those two confused.
Lexxiss:I am "way into" finding new veggie meals now that I am doing "Eat to Live."
I weighed this morning and followed my plan to the best of my ability, resisting the urge to go out to eat twice (I was project-ing), and instead prepared two pretty easy meals. credit Tomorrow I work early and might not have any check in time.
gardenerjoy, sending supportive thoughts as you shoulder the hurts of many.
maryann, happy 25th! Kudos for honoring your commitment and staying home!
Hi Coaches,
As promised here is a picture of myself with Yukon taken yesterday (8/23/12), he was content to snuggle on my chest. Anyways today was very much an OP kind of day except I skipped lunch but I also wasn't hungry I felt content around that time rather then hungry, a dear friend was in town for business from Anchorage and wound up having her afternoon free after the meeting we both attended so she and I hung out together over at Barnes and Noble and shot the breeze, I had a *Skinny* Vanilla Mocha and that was it! I got out and walked this morning despite the smoke in the air from a forest fire 25 miles south of here. Tomorrow I am headed up to the Arctic Circle with a friend so will be out of touch until I get back home which will probably be mid evening. I am looking forward to the drive, as I'm the passenger and can take photos and stuff
Jaye
My cousin died. 57 years old and it's such a shock since no one expects that as the outcome of knee replacement surgery. I'm most sad for her mother, my aunt, who has outlived three of her four children.
My eating went out of control. But, today, I'm going to try the experiment I mentioned yesterday. Make my food plan my foundation, the one thing that I can count on in what feels like a pretty unstable world right now. I wrote a generous but reasonable plan with foods that I like.
WI: NA kgs, Exercise: +0 975/1400 minutes for August, Food: 50%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Jaye (Midnightsun68): cute picture of you and puppy! Yay for skinny vanilla mocha!
Welcome, jinee! Did you hear about the Beck books from our subforum? Which book are you getting from the library?
Thanks, Lexxiss and maryann for the words of support. Much appreciated today! And, maryann, congrats on 25 years sober -- however you choose to celebrate it!
Hi! Glad to be home, sweet home. We had a wonderful vacation in Cape Cod. I practiced a few of my Beck strategies: NO seconds, leave a bite, taste the food, fork down between bites (most of the time) etc. I got home last night and weighed this morning. I am up four pounds from my weight before this trip. I got up today... have planned for a healthy day. I will give myself a bit of time to get back to my ticker weight or change it. I had good intentions of healthier eating - but, I did not have the willingness to do so.
As we left Cape Cod & headed for home I thought: goodbye ocean, sand dunes, salt water marshes, ocean sunsets, clam diggers on the beach, delicious seafood, houses with cedar shingles, lots of smiling people, 'Thickly Settled' signs, lighthouses, family and more.
At one of the Natural Resource Visitors Center I learned that the native people to Cape Cod ate mastadon some 6000 years ago. I was reminded that the Pilgrims first landed at the tip of Cape Cod, Provincetown. It was too barren so they went to what is now Plymouth, Mass. We will go back again.
We stopped on the Norman Rockwell Museum on the way home. It's so moving to see many of the original paintings used for his magazine covers.
I had lots of seafood. It certainly taste so good when it's fresh off the fishing boats.!
Trying to get back into the swing of things. I'll have to read your posts and catch up later today.
Take care now...
Last edited by Beverlyjoy; 08-25-2012 at 12:06 PM.
Had a binge last night. I struggle with the credit business, so maybe was uncomfortable with saying I felt proud of myself yesterday. Then my good friend's mother died. That's 7 friends' parents in recent months and it makes me worry about mine. They are in their 80s but live very far from me so see them once a year at best. I found it all unsettling and somehow the trail mix became irresistible. In fact, I don't think it is irresistible. I know I made a choice to pretend I needed it because that's what I do.
And yet, credit for today. Despite a crummy night's sleep--what else could I have after the binge--I have stayed OP today and done my bike ride.
Gardenerjoy--I am so sorry for your loss. A big part of my previous weight gains gphas been down to bereavement, and like you, I think having the strong plan must be the way through it all. And look how far you've come!
Gardenerjoy: I am so sorry about your cousin. My DH lost his father to a shoulder replacement surgery. Crazy vulnerable is the plight of we humans. I have your family in my prayers tonite. TeachMe: I have learned to start over the minute I stop eating. I no longer count in days OP. If I binge until 9 pm. When I wake up at 7 am I have 10 hours of OP. This is a long race. It doesn't matter how many times you hop OffPlan, it matters how many times you get back on. Beverleyjoy: I am jealous of your Cape Cod trip. I had mine all planned until it was cancelled in June. Hopefully, I will see it next June.
As for me, I had an OP day yesterday and today so far. Credit for step class and this morning yoga. Spending fabulous quality time with DS - reading aloud, teaching him to cook my black bean brownies, doing laundry.
Gardenjoy, I am so sorry to hear about your cousin. How shocking to go in for routine surgery and for this to happen. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Beverleyjoy, welcome back. Your trip sounds like it was wonderful.
Jinee welcome.
Jayne enjoy your drive to the arctic circle.
Maryann I too am a hope person. It is funny I never really thought about it until I read what you had written. Thoughts to ponder.
Hello to everyone else and have a great night.
I had a good day op but I am feeling that I need to make more time for me. It will be nice to get back in a routine once school starts.
Talk to you soon.
Take Care
Ann
I'm sitting outside at my small, square, glass patio table. Boy it's heavenly out here right now. Warm, but not too warm. No humidity. No bugs. Lots of nice chirping sounds of insects--they even tak my mind off the traffic sounds beyond the back bushes. It's just a nice day and even nicer as I discovered I don't have a place to have to go to today afterall! I thought I had a committment today but it turns out my day is free and clear. And that's really what I need I need to free up the space in my head and clear out the old stuff. Decluttering for the mind.
I didn't make it to the farmers' market yesterday. Friday afternoon I came down with the worst "stomach upset" and I know it is related to all the food choices I have made. Not off plan but not good for my body either. I have been piggybacking on DH's foodplan and it's just not great for my body and I knew it, but I tried it anyway and it's obvious I have to get back to my foodplan pre-DH's diabetes diagnosis (which is fully under his control. That guy. When he makes a change he sticks to it. He's a great example for me.) Then I think I was truly exhausted from my non-stop summer of work and fretting and after waking up at 7am Saturday, the time I am usually arriving at the farmers' market to set-up, I sent them an email to let them know I wouldn't be there (useless-too late anyway) and I went back to bed and I slept right through until 3pm. I haven't done that in years. I just thought "whoa, I was really worn out." I was. Better today though. *credit for weighing in. Get this: yesterday 250, today? 253.5. Scales! Phooey! However, it is awesome to just not see 255 anymore. I am really under that. Great. Forward I go.
So this coming week it looks like my schedule is mostly clear and my plan is to spend the time really really applying myself to a clean up. I have made some progress over the summer months but not enough to be happy with it. I can do more but need some uninterrupted time and I am taking the time this week.
Also this week is a return to basics: to my foodplan being written out and planned daily. To finding my go-to meals for us both and perhaps taking a day to batch cook so I can freeze food in advance and just pull it out when we need it. That sounds heavenly to me right now.
I also begin the Biggest Loser challenge tomorrow so exercise will become a focus for the first time in a long time for the next 13 weeks.
Better go. I've attached a couple of jpgs. I really like the Queen Bee of Tea painting I did so here it is and I am including a shot of the tea room with a few of my paintings on the wall - one is missing but I wanted you to see the setting. So tough! I want those walls to be white! And yes, that's a real spinning wheel. This is an 1824 heritage building. It really clashes with my work. As Beck would say OH WELL
gardenerjoy Very sorry to hear of all the losses you are experiencing. These events are always shocks, whether they are expected or not--more so if they aren't. Just remember that food did not cause these events and emotions to exist and so, food is not the cure to how you are feeling. You know this. When you feel overwhelmed, write it out. Please take care. So very sorry for your aunt as well. My condolences to her.
It worked. Making my food plan the foundational support of my day improved my mood, my productivity, and my ability to cope with life. Who knew? Following a food plan does for me what I always hoped overeating would do, but it didn't.
WI: NC kgs, Exercise: +50 1065/1400 minutes for August, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
onebyone: Love the Queen Bee of Tea. I actually like contemporary paintings in early 19th century spaces. The simplicity of the forms in the setting reminds me to appreciate line in the art. As a writer, I sometimes get too caught up in story to remember to be visually attuned to artwork. Glad you're feeling better this morning!
TeachMe: good job getting back to what you need to do with an OP day and a bike ride.
Beverlyjoy: great to see you back home -- sounds like a lovely trip!
Thanks, onebyone, maryann, TeachMe, and Ann (Newlifestyle) for the supportive words.
Shopping for the week. Proud that most of my purchases for the household came from the fresh fruits and veggies and whole foods aisle.
My neck is really sore so I am not sure what exercise I will do. OP yesterday except for some nibbles of DS brownies which I taught him to make. They have black beans in them.
I'm already on about Plan D for the day. No activity makes me hungrier than changing plans. And I like planning -- I just also like it when my plans actually work. I just tore my planning sheet out of the notebook and started over. A clean slate. Now, I feel better!
WI: +0.2 kgs, Exercise: +60 1125/1400 minutes for August, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
maryann: hope the neck is better. I know how that effects every single movement through the day. Ice and naproxen help me.
I have spent a lot of time this summer doing everything but what is always on my mind: getting my house in order. This is a week that I can dedicate to getting some projects done. I don't have any major deadlines or committments to complete this week and I can't say the same for September which seems to be loaded up already. Now's the time, today's the day to start. *credit* for planning and starting
*credit for weighing in: 252.2 this morning. Food is planned for today. Exercise is planned for today. *credit*
Off to have lunch now.
update: ENORMOUS credit moi for not eating over the assembling of the most horrific shelving unit known to mankind. Deceived by the Martha Stewart Living label I foolishly thought it would be a smart, easy, sensible thing to assemble but nooooooo. 8 hrs later and I almost trashed it twice. DH had to rescue me and I had to rescue him a couple of times during the process and we both had to hold our tongues. No matter. It's up. The before and after pictures can be found on the decluttering thread. I don't want to clutter this thread up after all my hard work today. A big difference was made in that corner of my apartment today. *credit credit credit*
felled by food
Just remember that food did not cause these events and emotions to exist and so, food is not the cure to how you are feeling. You know this. When you feel overwhelmed, write it out. Please take care. So very sorry for your aunt as well. My condolences to her.
