[4EverLearning]

Originally Posted by va1erie

Oh, that is interesting, and it makes so much sense. I definitely feel stronger in the mornings. So basically all =I= have to do to maintain is make sure I go to bed early!

Yes, the implication is that we should do better at resisting temptation if we get enough sleep and if we go to bed early enough to quit while we are ahead!! I'm about to test that theory by going to bed shortly, both because I have not slept well for several nights and am extremely tired, and because I sense a binge coming on if I stay up too late (more on that later)!

Originally Posted by va1erie

Glad the difference is small! Just because it's statistically significant doesn't have to mean it's large.

I can't tell you how refreshing it is to encounter someone who understands statistical significance well enough to make that statement! And of course you are absolutely right. The difference is that about 9% of women on the drug report a weight gain, versus about 6% of women given a placebo. That's still a 50% increase, though, even though the absolute difference is small.

Originally Posted by va1erie

You'd like Elyse (the owner of the studio) better than Giselle. Giselle's a woman in my neighborhood who is so scary fit, even Jane has commented on it -- that Giselle has so little body fat her face looks haggard. Which is true, I suspect she's younger than I am and she looks ten years older. But her body looks like a teenage gymnast. And there's a story in the neighborhood from when her son was first old enough to have playdates without Mom and had lunch at another neighbor's, who made sandwiches and then sat down to lunch with the kids. Giselle's son said, "I thought Mommies didn't eat lunch." Interestingly, her daughter is overweight. Maybe doesn't qualify as obese, but major muffintop territory.

ACK ACK ACK, you're right--I would not like Giselle!! She sounds like a very scary and alien creature!! I am not surprised that she would have an overweight daughter. What daughter could possibly compete with a mother like that?

Originally Posted by va1erie

Unfortunately Davidson is probably ruled out. When we finished the tour and were standing outside the admission office waiting to file into the info session, Jane said, "Do you want to just leave?" I said, "No info session?" And she said she'd learned enough from the tour. Back in the car, she said, "I just kept checking off things I didn't want in a college." Davidson is heavily Greek -- 50% of guys join frats, and while there are no sororities, there are "Eating Houses" which 80% of women self-select into their second semester. And Davidson is Div I for most athletics, which for a student body that small (1900) translates to 26% of students being varsity athletes. It's too bad because the campus is gorgeous, and they have an interdisciplinary department. Many of the colleges Jane is looking at will let you design a major if they don't offer one to match your interests, but having an actual formalized department to assist is very nice.

If Jane felt that strongly turned off so soon into the visit, I am sure that is not the place for her. I wouldn't like the emphasis on Greek life and sports, either. I don't think I've ever heard of a campus that has such a high percentage of varsity athletes. Having an interdisciplinary department would be a real plus, though. As you said, those are rare.

Originally Posted by va1erie

Absolutely! I've seen everything from a 5 oz pour to a 10 oz. You'll almost never see a 4 oz unless you're in a bar that serves so little wine they do it from those little individual bottles. And while you're measuring, make sure to do it into different shape and size wine glasses. John and I bought a couple of 6-oz wine glasses to use for ourselves, and next time I buy a set I'm definitely going to buy 6-ouncers and put away the bigger glasses to use when we have large groups over and need the extras. People tend not to drink as much when they're using 6-ounce glasses.

I suspect the glasses I had were probably closer to 6 or 7 ounces than 4. I do not want to consume many calories in liquid form, so I need to get a handle on that.

Originally Posted by va1erie

Yay, you for going to happy hour even though it was stressful, and for deciding you'll join the group regularly. Younger faculty members might have older single colleagues, friends or family members, too. BTW, if anyone suggests fixing you up on a blind date with someone, from experience a better way it is to simply invite both of you to a group event you'd both feel comfortable at and only informally mention to each of you privately beforehand that there's another single coming.

The decision about whether to go or not was stressful. But actually being there was not at all, amazingly enough. It was just FUN. I can not remember the last time I laughed so much or felt so at ease in a social setting. And thank you for the advice on blind dating. I did decide to go to the happy hour partly because I recognize that the more people I come in contact with, and the more I put myself out there, the more likely I am to meet someone.

Originally Posted by va1erie

I'm sure you do feel ambivalent. How great are the risks of clotting, etc.? Do you have any conditions that would make that more likely? I'm sure being fit and only in your fifties must be helpful. Is there any way to determine your relative likelihood to form clots? What I mean is, are there tests that can show that a person already has blood that's likely to clot? I bruise like crazy, so I've always assumed I have thin blood.

I actually don't know if there's any kind of test that can predict the risk of clots; that's something to ask my doctor. I do have risk factors (family history, past diabetes, high cholesterol). The risk of clots from the drug is small, though; much smaller than the risk that I will get breast cancer at some point. (The oncologist calculated that my risk is about 5% over the next 5 years and about 1 in 3 over my lifetime, identical to the risks I had calculated myself by researching the mathematical models that are used in this situation.) I finally went to the drugstore today and bought the medication after three days of carrying the prescription around and hemming and hawing. I haven't put a pill in my mouth yet, though!

Originally Posted by va1erie

Report: Ate pretty crappy yesterday on the road. It was raining much of the way, and going through the mountains we had hair-raising fog. I would have gotten off the road if there'd been any lights at any of the exits we passed. Weighed this morning, and my weight was unchanged, which I totally didn't deserve. Going to make a big pot of vegetable soup and concentrate on veggies today as much as possible. Got minor exercise (90 minute tour of Davidson, but there was a lot of standing around.) Class tomorrow, yay!

Sometimes we don't get what we deserve--and sometimes we get what we don't deserve!! I'm still often taken by surprise by what the scale says. But I'm glad that in this case you did not get what you think you "deserved"! Veggie soup sounds like just what the doctor ordered.

I found out today that my 23-year-old married niece is pregnant. I'm going to be a great-aunt! I'm excited about having a baby to spoil, the closest I will ever come to having a grandchild to fill that role.

The reason I need to go to bed before I go off the deep end and start stuffing my face is that I got an email from my eharmony match this evening asking me to call him to arrange for us to get together next weekend. Actually, the tone was more like telling me than asking--something like, "I'd like for us to get together next Saturday or Sunday." That took me aback a bit, but I do really like him, and we have a good, low-key, occasionally flirty banter going back and forth. But of course the idea of an actual conversation ramps up the anxiety level. (Writing is a lot easier for me, since I can think through what I am saying and edit if necessary.) Sigh.......I am such a basket case sometimes.

Hope you had a good day!

Oh, I am so rattled, I forgot my report!! My weight was up .4 this morning, ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, did not get much exercise (just cleaning my condo and doing laundry), contacted my diet buddy.

OK, now I think I can go to bed!

[va1erie]

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning

Yes, the implication is that we should do better at resisting temptation if we get enough sleep and if we go to bed early enough to quit while we are ahead!! I'm about to test that theory by going to bed shortly, both because I have not slept well for several nights and am extremely tired, and because I sense a binge coming on if I stay up too late (more on that later)!

Good for you for sensing the impending binge and going to bed instead!

I can't tell you how refreshing it is to encounter someone who understands statistical significance well enough to make that statement! And of course you are absolutely right. The difference is that about 9% of women on the drug report a weight gain, versus about 6% of women given a placebo. That's still a 50% increase, though, even though the absolute difference is small.

Do you know what the average weight gain was for the groups, whether it was a bigger gain for the study group, what the study length was? If it was a couple of pounds over six months for 9% of the treatment group vs. a pound for 6% of the control group over the same period, that would also be no big deal -- like 20 calories a day difference between the two weight gains.

If Jane felt that strongly turned off so soon into the visit, I am sure that is not the place for her. I wouldn't like the emphasis on Greek life and sports, either. I don't think I've ever heard of a campus that has such a high percentage of varsity athletes.

I'd guess it becomes self-perpetuating, too. I don't know of any other LAC that has so many Div I sports. Almost all the schools Jane is looking at have ZERO Div I. Colorado College has two -- men's hockey and women's soccer -- and Jane thinks that might be fun. Two teams that everyone is rooting for and that occasionally go to the tournaments, but otherwise students are playing sports because they love them rather than because their scholarships depend on them.

I suspect the glasses I had were probably closer to 6 or 7 ounces than 4. I do not want to consume many calories in liquid form, so I need to get a handle on that.

A six-ounce glass in a restaurant is pretty rare. In a bar where wine is seldom served and they're using a 6-ounce glass for a 4-oz pour from an individual bottle, you see them because a 4-oz pour looks like nothing in anything much bigger than a 12-ounce glass. I suspect an 8-ounce pour is more common than a 4-ounce except in fine dining restaurants where they're serving more expensive wines and know their customers aren't expecting their wineglasses to look full.

4-ounce pour in a 6-ounce glass:


4-ounce pour in a 12-ounce glass:


Side-by-side:

The decision about whether to go or not was stressful. But actually being there was not at all, amazingly enough. It was just FUN. I can not remember the last time I laughed so much or felt so at ease in a social setting. And thank you for the advice on blind dating. I did decide to go to the happy hour partly because I recognize that the more people I come in contact with, and the more I put myself out there, the more likely I am to meet someone.

Good for you on all fronts!

I actually don't know if there's any kind of test that can predict the risk of clots; that's something to ask my doctor. I do have risk factors (family history, past diabetes, high cholesterol). The risk of clots from the drug is small, though; much smaller than the risk that I will get breast cancer at some point. (The oncologist calculated that my risk is about 5% over the next 5 years and about 1 in 3 over my lifetime, identical to the risks I had calculated myself by researching the mathematical models that are used in this situation.) I finally went to the drugstore today and bought the medication after three days of carrying the prescription around and hemming and hawing. I haven't put a pill in my mouth yet, though!

Baby steps.

Sometimes we don't get what we deserve--and sometimes we get what we don't deserve!! I'm still often taken by surprise by what the scale says. But I'm glad that in this case you did not get what you think you "deserved"! Veggie soup sounds like just what the doctor ordered.

Well, I got it today, even after a fairly good day yesterday -- up to 1.4 under goal. Ack. More vegetable soup. Actually I have to make dinner for a neighbor, so maybe I'll make my hubby's favorite mulligatawny soup for both us and them.

I found out today that my 23-year-old married niece is pregnant. I'm going to be a great-aunt! I'm excited about having a baby to spoil, the closest I will ever come to having a grandchild to fill that role.

How fun! When is she due, and does she know whether it's a boy or a girl yet? Shopping for girl-babies is so fun. Mommy-friendly hint: buy clothes the next size or two up from newborn. Every new mom gets way too many newborn sizes, and they grow out of them faster than you can use them all. If you do want to buy some newborn stuff, try a consignment shop -- you can often find stuff still with the tags on at a fourth the original price.

The reason I need to go to bed before I go off the deep end and start stuffing my face is that I got an email from my eharmony match this evening asking me to call him to arrange for us to get together next weekend. Actually, the tone was more like telling me than asking--something like, "I'd like for us to get together next Saturday or Sunday." That took me aback a bit, but I do really like him, and we have a good, low-key, occasionally flirty banter going back and forth. But of course the idea of an actual conversation ramps up the anxiety level. (Writing is a lot easier for me, since I can think through what I am saying and edit if necessary.) Sigh.......I am such a basket case sometimes.

Hm, on feeling like he was telling instead of asking. That could be simply the difficulties of getting the tone absolutely right in email combined with your anxiety, if you see what I mean. He may not have meant it to feel like telling at all -- his own anxiety may be a factor. Asking feels like giving all the control to the other person, and subconsciously what he said may have felt like it made him less vulnerable than asking, "Would you like to get together?" If the answer to that is "No," it's a rejection. If he is simply stating what he'd like to do -- "I'd like us to get together" -- it may feel less like he's sticking his neck out. The answer to his question could be "I'm not ready yet" or "I'd like that, too," and neither of those would feel as bad, maybe.

Are you going to do it? Maybe to help with your anxiety you could suggest something that offers you an easy retreat? Maybe a movie, followed by a drink or coffee? Having a movie first gives you a chance to catch your breath after you've had your initial conversation, and then afterwards you have something to talk about, and drinks/coffee doesn't impose a time frame on you -- it can take up half an hour or five. Dinner allows no graceful exit in under two hours, and it's all one-to-one face-to-face time, much of it spent waiting.

Report: weighed, didn't read my cards, went to class this morning even though I really didn't want to. But it wasn't really a struggle -- even as I was thinking I didn't want to, I knew I was going to. Ate reasonably, though apparently not reasonably enough. Had a nice low-cal but satisfying breakfast just now -- a lowfat Nutrigrain waffle cut in 4ths and used to as the bread for two veggie sausage patties from Trader Joe's. I still feel hungry, but I'm sure I'll be fine in 20 minutes.

Hope you had a great day!

[4EverLearning]

Originally Posted by va1erie

Good for you for sensing the impending binge and going to bed instead!

I did go to bed, but not to sleep! I tossed and turned for almost 5 hours before falling asleep. I didn't eat anything, though.

Originally Posted by va1erie

Do you know what the average weight gain was for the groups, whether it was a bigger gain for the study group, what the study length was? If it was a couple of pounds over six months for 9% of the treatment group vs. a pound for 6% of the control group over the same period, that would also be no big deal -- like 20 calories a day difference between the two weight gains.

No, all I've read is general summaries of the side effects, not the original research. So I have no idea of what the magnitude of the weight gain might be. I've seen a couple of anecdotes ("user reviews") from women claiming to have gained large amounts of weight (one claimed to gain almost 30 pounds), but anecdotal evidence is notoriously unreliable.

Originally Posted by va1erie

I'd guess it becomes self-perpetuating, too. I don't know of any other LAC that has so many Div I sports. Almost all the schools Jane is looking at have ZERO Div I. Colorado College has two -- men's hockey and women's soccer -- and Jane thinks that might be fun. Two teams that everyone is rooting for and that occasionally go to the tournaments, but otherwise students are playing sports because they love them rather than because their scholarships depend on them.

The whole concept of athletic scholarships makes no sense to me, even though I understand that sports generates lots of income. It just seems so fundamentally wrong to me to throw so much money at the athletes and not at the academically gifted and/or financially needy students. Sports should be about fun. HA! Am I naive or what?!

Originally Posted by va1erie

A six-ounce glass in a restaurant is pretty rare. In a bar where wine is seldom served and they're using a 6-ounce glass for a 4-oz pour from an individual bottle, you see them because a 4-oz pour looks like nothing in anything much bigger than a 12-ounce glass. I suspect an 8-ounce pour is more common than a 4-ounce except in fine dining restaurants where they're serving more expensive wines and know their customers aren't expecting their wineglasses to look full.

4-ounce pour in a 6-ounce glass:


4-ounce pour in a 12-ounce glass:


Side-by-side:

Oh, my goodness. I really need to pay attention to how large the glasses are at that bar on Thursday. I do not want to be consuming so many calories in liquid form! And I'm such a cheap date these days, I really don't need to be consuming that much alcohol, either! Thanks for taking those pictures!

Originally Posted by va1erie

Baby steps.

That's my motto--most of the time, anyway! I think this is yet another example of my all-or-nothing tendencies. Most of the time, I inch forward in teensy baby steps. But occasionally, I do a free-fall over a cliff instead!! Meeting my eharmony match will feel like a free-fall over a cliff for me, although I recognize the irrationality of that!

Originally Posted by va1erie

Well, I got it today, even after a fairly good day yesterday -- up to 1.4 under goal. Ack. More vegetable soup. Actually I have to make dinner for a neighbor, so maybe I'll make my hubby's favorite mulligatawny soup for both us and them.

Well, that sucks. Don't you hate those delayed reactions?

Originally Posted by va1erie

How fun! When is she due, and does she know whether it's a boy or a girl yet? Shopping for girl-babies is so fun. Mommy-friendly hint: buy clothes the next size or two up from newborn. Every new mom gets way too many newborn sizes, and they grow out of them faster than you can use them all. If you do want to buy some newborn stuff, try a consignment shop -- you can often find stuff still with the tags on at a fourth the original price.

She's only four weeks along at this point, so it will be awhile before she knows the sex! I'm definitely hoping for a girl, just because it would be more fun to shop for a girl. Yeah, I know that babies outgrow their clothing really quickly. I'm sure consignment shops would have LOTS of infant stuff that's been outgrown before it was ever worn.

Originally Posted by va1erie

Hm, on feeling like he was telling instead of asking. That could be simply the difficulties of getting the tone absolutely right in email combined with your anxiety, if you see what I mean. He may not have meant it to feel like telling at all -- his own anxiety may be a factor. Asking feels like giving all the control to the other person, and subconsciously what he said may have felt like it made him less vulnerable than asking, "Would you like to get together?" If the answer to that is "No," it's a rejection. If he is simply stating what he'd like to do -- "I'd like us to get together" -- it may feel less like he's sticking his neck out. The answer to his question could be "I'm not ready yet" or "I'd like that, too," and neither of those would feel as bad, maybe.

Yeah, I think what you are saying sounds reasonable. I was probably reading too much into it. He did say he was really tired and had just spent the entire day writing a chapter of the textbook he is working on. But thank you for reminding me that HE could also be nervous or fear rejection. Intellectually, I know that, of course. But I tend to get so wrapped up in my own angst that I forget that I'm not alone in those feelings. It took me years to figure out that my students are often as nervous as I am at the beginning of a new semester, for instance! It just never occurs to me that I have the power to make people as nervous as they make me!!

Originally Posted by va1erie

Are you going to do it? Maybe to help with your anxiety you could suggest something that offers you an easy retreat? Maybe a movie, followed by a drink or coffee? Having a movie first gives you a chance to catch your breath after you've had your initial conversation, and then afterwards you have something to talk about, and drinks/coffee doesn't impose a time frame on you -- it can take up half an hour or five. Dinner allows no graceful exit in under two hours, and it's all one-to-one face-to-face time, much of it spent waiting.

Yes, I'm going to do it. (Just typing that sentence, I feel the wind blowing past my ears as I take that free-fall off the cliff!) Since we are three hours apart, I think I will suggest meeting in neutral territory somewhere about halfway in between. (I have a feeling he will volunteer to drive here, but I'm not ready for that yet.) So, before I call him, I will try to do some research to come up with ideas of places to go or things to do. That way I will feel that I have some control over the situation. I had already thought of going to a movie--as long as it has no embarrassing love scenes!!

Originally Posted by va1erie

Report: weighed, didn't read my cards, went to class this morning even though I really didn't want to. But it wasn't really a struggle -- even as I was thinking I didn't want to, I knew I was going to. Ate reasonably, though apparently not reasonably enough. Had a nice low-cal but satisfying breakfast just now -- a lowfat Nutrigrain waffle cut in 4ths and used to as the bread for two veggie sausage patties from Trader Joe's. I still feel hungry, but I'm sure I'll be fine in 20 minutes.

WERE you fine in 20 minutes? And isn't it amazing how the struggle ends when you KNOW what the outcome will be, because you haven't given yourself the option of questioning it? That NO CHOICE lesson is such a powerful one for me. I never realized the full extent to which my turmoil and agonizing were due to giving myself PERMISSION to struggle.

my report: weight was up .6 this morning (took me totally by surprise--and of course my first thought was, AM I RETAINING WATER ALREADY after taking one pill??! I'm sure that's not it!). Had a perfectly OP day despite having to go to a meeting at the main campus and not getting home until late this evening. I did have to eat one meal in the car, though. Sometimes it truly can't be avoided. Did not exercise (have a personal training session tomorrow).

Hope you had a good day and enjoyed that soup!

I'm off to bed. Man, I hope I can sleep. I am just exhausted, and tomorrow is one of the days when my first class is at 7:55. UGH.

[va1erie]

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning

I did go to bed, but not to sleep! I tossed and turned for almost 5 hours before falling asleep. I didn't eat anything, though.

Oh, bummer on the insomnia! But good for you for not eating.

The whole concept of athletic scholarships makes no sense to me, even though I understand that sports generates lots of income. It just seems so fundamentally wrong to me to throw so much money at the athletes and not at the academically gifted and/or financially needy students. Sports should be about fun. HA! Am I naive or what?!

No, I'm with you. Actually, I really respect the colleges that offer no athletic OR MERIT scholarships. All scholarships go to meet demonstrated financial need at (IIRC) Bowdoin, Middlebury, Haverford, Pomona, Vassar, Wesleyan -- there are no merit or athletic scholarships except the nominal ones (usually $2000, sometimes renewable) for National Merit Scholars. It sucks for families like us. A high-achieving student, but an income that is neither high enough to barely feel $50K nor low enough to qualify for need-based aid. But I believe colleges that focus all their funds on offsetting true need are acting with integrity. And when it comes right down to it, even with the tuitions at those schools, if the fit is right, that's where Jane will go even if it costs us double what it would at a school that offers Jane merit aid. It means cutting back other places, but we can do that. Which in the final assessment means we -can- afford it: we can afford the luxury of choosing to spend our money on the perfect fit school. And if -every- school did that, if every school gave ONLY need-based aid, if every school spent ALL their available aid money offsetting need...think about what that would mean! It would likely mean a lot more students could afford the luxury of going to their perfect fit school. So even though those schools will cost us a lot of money, it's one of the things I like about them and one of the reasons I'm glad Jane likes them. But of course it would be nice if Jane decided one of the schools that are offering her huge amounts of money was her perfect-fit school!

Yes, I'm going to do it. (Just typing that sentence, I feel the wind blowing past my ears as I take that free-fall off the cliff!) Since we are three hours apart, I think I will suggest meeting in neutral territory somewhere about halfway in between. (I have a feeling he will volunteer to drive here, but I'm not ready for that yet.) So, before I call him, I will try to do some research to come up with ideas of places to go or things to do. That way I will feel that I have some control over the situation.

Very cool! I'm glad you're going to do this. Maybe it's good that he's three hours away. That lets you totally take it as slowly as you need to.

WERE you fine in 20 minutes? And isn't it amazing how the struggle ends when you KNOW what the outcome will be, because you haven't given yourself the option of questioning it? That NO CHOICE lesson is such a powerful one for me. I never realized the full extent to which my turmoil and agonizing were due to giving myself PERMISSION to struggle.

Absolutely! And, yes, I was fine in 20 minutes.

my report: weight was up .6 this morning (took me totally by surprise--and of course my first thought was, AM I RETAINING WATER ALREADY after taking one pill??! I'm sure that's not it!). Had a perfectly OP day despite having to go to a meeting at the main campus and not getting home until late this evening. I did have to eat one meal in the car, though. Sometimes it truly can't be avoided. Did not exercise (have a personal training session tomorrow).

So you did start the meds -- good for you.

Report: weighed, no change. Gar. Oh, well. Didn't exercise, but I have class tomorrow. Had leftover veggie soup for breakfast, am thinking about it for lunch too. Love this recipe.

[4EverLearning]

Originally Posted by va1erie

Oh, bummer on the insomnia! But good for you for not eating.

Bummer indeed. Last night was another night of tossing and turning, and I am exhausted beyond measure. I can't remember the last time I slept more than 4 or 5 hours in a night.

Originally Posted by va1erie

No, I'm with you. Actually, I really respect the colleges that offer no athletic OR MERIT scholarships. All scholarships go to meet demonstrated financial need at (IIRC) Bowdoin, Middlebury, Haverford, Pomona, Vassar, Wesleyan -- there are no merit or athletic scholarships except the nominal ones (usually $2000, sometimes renewable) for National Merit Scholars. It sucks for families like us. A high-achieving student, but an income that is neither high enough to barely feel $50K nor low enough to qualify for need-based aid. But I believe colleges that focus all their funds on offsetting true need are acting with integrity. And when it comes right down to it, even with the tuitions at those schools, if the fit is right, that's where Jane will go even if it costs us double what it would at a school that offers Jane merit aid. It means cutting back other places, but we can do that. Which in the final assessment means we -can- afford it: we can afford the luxury of choosing to spend our money on the perfect fit school. And if -every- school did that, if every school gave ONLY need-based aid, if every school spent ALL their available aid money offsetting need...think about what that would mean! It would likely mean a lot more students could afford the luxury of going to their perfect fit school. So even though those schools will cost us a lot of money, it's one of the things I like about them and one of the reasons I'm glad Jane likes them. But of course it would be nice if Jane decided one of the schools that are offering her huge amounts of money was her perfect-fit school!

Sticking to need-based scholarship assistance alone is indeed admirable and has my whole-hearted endorsement, although it does definitely suck for families like yours. (Jane is lucky indeed to have parents who are willing to sacrifice as necessary to put her in her perfect-fit school!) I've seen the downside of purely need-based financial assistance, though. Since my campus is open admissions, there are plenty of people who really aren't "college material" (as snobby as that probably sounds). I've seen lots of students who will probably never succeed under any circumstances. The taxpayers' money would be better spent, and the students' needs would be better served, funding some kind of career or trade school rather than academic work. But of course it is impossible to predict with perfect accuracy who will succeed, and everyone deserves "a chance to fail", as we often say. There is no easy answer. (Speaking of no easy answers, I am listening to the State of the Union address in the background as I write this!)

Originally Posted by va1erie

Very cool! I'm glad you're going to do this. Maybe it's good that he's three hours away. That lets you totally take it as slowly as you need to.

Me, too! I'm sure I'll be nervous as all get-out when the time to meet him approaches, but for now I'm mostly just excited. I CAN do this. I've done so many things I never thought I could, and lots of them were a lot scarier and more challenging than going out on a date!

Originally Posted by va1erie

So you did start the meds -- good for you.

Yes, I did, and now I am about to add another medication. The oncologist tested my Vitamin D level last week. Today when I got home there was a message on my answering machine telling me that my Vitamin D level is extremely low, and I need a prescription medication to correct it. I'm actually a little glad about this one, because I suspect I will feel a lot better when that problem is corrected. Vitamin D deficiency causes a lot of bone and muscle pain, along with muscle weakness and fragile bones, so I would bet that I will start to make even more progress with my exercise when my Vitamin D level normalizes. Back when I was getting so much physical therapy, I was in continual pain. Obviously things have much improved since then, but I still have a lot of achiness in my legs and hips. I read online that Vitamin D deficiency is often misdiagnosed as fibromyalgia because of the similarity of the symptoms. Of course I can not tell my "bear pals" about being vitamin deficient, because they will see it as further proof that I am starving myself! I would be willing to bet big money that I have had the Vitamin D deficiency for years.

Originally Posted by va1erie

Report: weighed, no change. Gar. Oh, well. Didn't exercise, but I have class tomorrow. Had leftover veggie soup for breakfast, am thinking about it for lunch too. Love this recipe.

After another soup day, I hope you will be rewarded with a drop on the scale tomorrow. Ah, so tomorrow you get another session with the terrifying Giselle?

my report: weight was down .6 this morning, had a good personal training session, took a friend to dinner (for her birthday) at Red Lobster and ordered a half portion of my favorite dish (shrimp linguine alfredo) but with the sauce on the side, ate everything sitting down, ate slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, contacted my diet buddy.

I'm going to scream if I can't sleep tonight. I am very sore from the training session (trainer had me try a machine I'd never used before, and it just about killed my shoulders; it actually hurts to type this!) and utterly exhausted. I need to catch up on my beauty sleep before my big weekend!

Hope you had a great day!

[va1erie]

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning

Bummer indeed. Last night was another night of tossing and turning, and I am exhausted beyond measure. I can't remember the last time I slept more than 4 or 5 hours in a night.

Good grief!

Sticking to need-based scholarship assistance alone is indeed admirable and has my whole-hearted endorsement, although it does definitely suck for families like yours. (Jane is lucky indeed to have parents who are willing to sacrifice as necessary to put her in her perfect-fit school!) I've seen the downside of purely need-based financial assistance, though. Since my campus is open admissions, there are plenty of people who really aren't "college material" (as snobby as that probably sounds). I've seen lots of students who will probably never succeed under any circumstances. The taxpayers' money would be better spent, and the students' needs would be better served, funding some kind of career or trade school rather than academic work. But of course it is impossible to predict with perfect accuracy who will succeed, and everyone deserves "a chance to fail", as we often say. There is no easy answer. (Speaking of no easy answers, I am listening to the State of the Union address in the background as I write this!)

Oh, I hadn't thought about that -- at the schools Jane is applying to, of course any applicant who can get in is clearly college material. And, no, it doesn't sound snobby to me. But then I'm an intellectual snob. It irks to see the scattergrams for acceptances of kids from Jane's school at some schools -- you can absolutely see MAJOR outliers, and you just know those were recruited athletes.


(The blue diamonds were waitlisted.)

So do you think there should be some minimal qualifications for getting need-based aid at schools with open enrollment? Can kids not apply for financial aid to go to a trade school? That sucks -- the world does need plumbers. And then there's the related issue of all these for-profit colleges that are ripping kids off. I assume the people who are teaching at those places have their hearts in the right spots, but the sales pitches are really troubling.

Me, too! I'm sure I'll be nervous as all get-out when the time to meet him approaches, but for now I'm mostly just excited. I CAN do this. I've done so many things I never thought I could, and lots of them were a lot scarier and more challenging than going out on a date!

Absolutely! Dating's scary, but you can do it.

Yes, I did, and now I am about to add another medication. The oncologist tested my Vitamin D level last week. Today when I got home there was a message on my answering machine telling me that my Vitamin D level is extremely low, and I need a prescription medication to correct it. I'm actually a little glad about this one, because I suspect I will feel a lot better when that problem is corrected. Vitamin D deficiency causes a lot of bone and muscle pain, along with muscle weakness and fragile bones, so I would bet that I will start to make even more progress with my exercise when my Vitamin D level normalizes. Back when I was getting so much physical therapy, I was in continual pain. Obviously things have much improved since then, but I still have a lot of achiness in my legs and hips. I read online that Vitamin D deficiency is often misdiagnosed as fibromyalgia because of the similarity of the symptoms. Of course I can not tell my "bear pals" about being vitamin deficient, because they will see it as further proof that I am starving myself! I would be willing to bet big money that I have had the Vitamin D deficiency for years.

And have I heard that a Vitamin D deficiency can cause sleep issues? How long will it take to have the deficiency corrected with the meds, do you know? Hm, on not being able to tell your bear pals -- if it's related to something other than your food choices, then why would they think it was? Or do you think they'd just be discussing it behind your back?

After another soup day, I hope you will be rewarded with a drop on the scale tomorrow. Ah, so tomorrow you get another session with the terrifying Giselle?

No, it was Elyse. But it was still a great workout. I just wish she'd work more on form. I see the form issues other people are having and that she's either not noticing or just not bothering to correct, and it makes me wonder what I'm doing incorrectly and not getting the best benefit.

my report: weight was down .6 this morning, had a good personal training session, took a friend to dinner (for her birthday) at Red Lobster and ordered a half portion of my favorite dish (shrimp linguine alfredo) but with the sauce on the side, ate everything sitting down, ate slowly and mindfully, did not read my cards, contacted my diet buddy.

So a great day! So how does it work with the sauce on the side? Do you just brush a forkful across the sauce to pick up a little of the flavoring?

I'm going to scream if I can't sleep tonight. I am very sore from the training session (trainer had me try a machine I'd never used before, and it just about killed my shoulders; it actually hurts to type this!) and utterly exhausted. I need to catch up on my beauty sleep before my big weekend!

Have you tried Advil PM? That often works for me -- if I have a couple bad nights in a row, I take a couple Advil PM about half an hour before I go to bed.

Report: Weighed (no change, grr), ate reasonably, started feeling sick last night with lots of stomach gurgles, cramps, etc. Got up this morning to go to class anyway figuring I'd at least give it a chance, got dressed, but it had turned into, er, other gastrointestinal issues. I considered going anyway because I didn't really FEEL bad -- not weak or nauseated, I mean -- but finally decided that was nuts. But yay me for feeling disappointed about not being able to exercise! Maybe I'll get on the treadmill later. While I think about what kind of veg-heavy dinner I'd like to make.

[4EverLearning]

Originally Posted by va1erie

Good grief!

I finally got some decent sleep last night, but I'm still really tired.

Originally Posted by va1erie

Oh, I hadn't thought about that -- at the schools Jane is applying to, of course any applicant who can get in is clearly college material. And, no, it doesn't sound snobby to me. But then I'm an intellectual snob. It irks to see the scattergrams for acceptances of kids from Jane's school at some schools -- you can absolutely see MAJOR outliers, and you just know those were recruited athletes.

I'm sure you're right about the athletes. And that is just not RIGHT!! If I was a parent of a really bright kid, I'd be majorly ticked off (from one intellectual snob to another ).

Originally Posted by va1erie

So do you think there should be some minimal qualifications for getting need-based aid at schools with open enrollment? Can kids not apply for financial aid to go to a trade school? That sucks -- the world does need plumbers. And then there's the related issue of all these for-profit colleges that are ripping kids off. I assume the people who are teaching at those places have their hearts in the right spots, but the sales pitches are really troubling.

I'm not sure how financial aid for trade schools works. But I've occasionally had students who can not even read at ALL--no, I'm not kidding. And I've had plenty of students who are functionally illiterate, and even a few who are developmentally disabled. Some of them create real behavior problems in class, and sometimes I resent having to deal with them when I KNOW that they're going to drive me crazy all semester and fail anyway. The worst part is that sometimes these students will take intro to psych multiple times, trying over and over to pass it, but fail repeatedly. It takes multiple semesters of academic failure before people are dismissed, and in the meantime they are wasting their own time and other people's money, and taking seats that other people could benefit from but get closed out of because the classes are already full. I'm all for equal opportunity, and occasionally someone who by every indication should not succeed will come in and just EXCEL. But they are few and far between, and the truth is that some people just plain don't belong in a college class. My students range in ability from illiterate to could-have-gone-to-Harvard, which makes it a real challenge for me to come up with a curriculum that will meet everyone's needs.

Originally Posted by va1erie

Absolutely! Dating's scary, but you can do it.

We spoke on the phone tonight, and the conversation was very easy and natural. He told me several times that I am "a delight." We're going to meet on Saturday in a city that is about halfway between us, for lunch at a really wonderful restaurant I went to once many years ago (and he has been there before, too). I'm still much more excited about it than I am nervous. Who am I, and what have I done with Robin????

Originally Posted by va1erie

And have I heard that a Vitamin D deficiency can cause sleep issues? How long will it take to have the deficiency corrected with the meds, do you know? Hm, on not being able to tell your bear pals -- if it's related to something other than your food choices, then why would they think it was? Or do you think they'd just be discussing it behind your back?

I read about Vitamin D deficiency online and saw that it definitely does contribute to insomnia. It also exacerbates depression and anxiety (which I already knew). So I am hoping I will feel better on many fronts once I take care of that. I have no idea how long the meds will take to work, although I will only be taking one pill a week for 6 weeks, so it must be pretty potent stuff. As for my bear-pals, they would definitely talk behind my back about it. They would say that I'm vitamin deficient because I'm not eating enough, no matter what I might say to the contrary.

Originally Posted by va1erie

No, it was Elyse. But it was still a great workout. I just wish she'd work more on form. I see the form issues other people are having and that she's either not noticing or just not bothering to correct, and it makes me wonder what I'm doing incorrectly and not getting the best benefit.

I think that as long as you're moving, you're benefiting. But I do think correct form makes a difference, even if it's subtle. My trainer does a pretty good job of watching me and correcting my form and technique, which I appreciate. At first he didn't correct my form at all, but the stronger and the more skilled I get, the pickier he gets about form.

Originally Posted by va1erie

So a great day! So how does it work with the sauce on the side? Do you just brush a forkful across the sauce to pick up a little of the flavoring?

Yep. I get the sauce in a separate bowl and just barely touch the food to it. I get a little of the taste of that rich alfredo sauce but with a fraction of the calories. I do that often when I order restaurant dishes that have sauce.

Originally Posted by va1erie

Have you tried Advil PM? That often works for me -- if I have a couple bad nights in a row, I take a couple Advil PM about half an hour before I go to bed.

No, I never have, although I remember that my mother swore by that medication--or maybe it was Excedrin PM.

Originally Posted by va1erie

Report: Weighed (no change, grr), ate reasonably, started feeling sick last night with lots of stomach gurgles, cramps, etc. Got up this morning to go to class anyway figuring I'd at least give it a chance, got dressed, but it had turned into, er, other gastrointestinal issues. I considered going anyway because I didn't really FEEL bad -- not weak or nauseated, I mean -- but finally decided that was nuts. But yay me for feeling disappointed about not being able to exercise! Maybe I'll get on the treadmill later. While I think about what kind of veg-heavy dinner I'd like to make.

Well, maybe the upside of the gastrointestinal issues is that your weight will drop!! No fun, though. And YAY YOU for feeling disappointed about missing the exercise! That's big!

my report: my weight was down .6 (NOT deserved after dinner at Red Lobster!), had an extremely busy day of running from one commitment to another and had to eat dinner in the car but still stayed OP, did not read my cards, did not exercise.

OK, I'm off to bed and hopefully will be able to sleep. Hope you are feeling better by now!

[4EverLearning]

Hope you're OK--or that you lost a post!

I had a good day today. Weight was down .6. Stayed OP all day and then went to happy hour and had a LI iced tea, but my calorie count shouldn't be too outrageous considering what I ate for the rest of the day. Talked to my eharmony match and finalized our plans for Saturday. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Did not get much exercise today but have a personal training session in the morning--which means I need to go to bed! Last night was another night of tossing and turning---grrrrr.

[va1erie]

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning

Hope you're OK--or that you lost a post!

Damn! Lost a post! I had another dental appointment yesterday (got the permanent crown, but because I've been having so much pain with the temporary they put the permanent on with temporary glue so that we could see if the pain subsided before attaching it permanently -- if it doesn't, it means I need a root canal, ecccchhhh, and that would mean destroying the new crown to get it off) but I did a quick post before I left. I thought I'd hit send, but I guess I either forgot to or it disappeared. Sorry!

I had a good day today. Weight was down .6. Stayed OP all day and then went to happy hour and had a LI iced tea, but my calorie count shouldn't be too outrageous considering what I ate for the rest of the day. Talked to my eharmony match and finalized our plans for Saturday. Ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully. Did not get much exercise today but have a personal training session in the morning--which means I need to go to bed! Last night was another night of tossing and turning---grrrrr.

So you talked again on the phone? That makes twice, then?

Glad you had a good day, and yay you for going to happy hour again! I weighed yesterday and today (no change), didn't get any exercise yesterday but I'm up and dressed for my class this morning, ate fairly reasonably yesterday though we ordered Chinese for dinner as I really didn't feel like cooking after the dentist.

From yesterday:

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning

I'm not sure how financial aid for trade schools works. But I've occasionally had students who can not even read at ALL--no, I'm not kidding. And I've had plenty of students who are functionally illiterate,

Wow, that is so sad. How could you even pass the Ohio Graduation Tests without having the literacy skills to pass Intro Psych? I thought that was the point of the OGTs?

We spoke on the phone tonight, and the conversation was very easy and natural. He told me several times that I am "a delight." We're going to meet on Saturday in a city that is about halfway between us, for lunch at a really wonderful restaurant I went to once many years ago (and he has been there before, too). I'm still much more excited about it than I am nervous. Who am I, and what have I done with Robin????

Yay! Still more excited than nervous after talking to him a second time?

I read about Vitamin D deficiency online and saw that it definitely does contribute to insomnia. It also exacerbates depression and anxiety (which I already knew). So I am hoping I will feel better on many fronts once I take care of that. I have no idea how long the meds will take to work, although I will only be taking one pill a week for 6 weeks, so it must be pretty potent stuff. As for my bear-pals, they would definitely talk behind my back about it. They would say that I'm vitamin deficient because I'm not eating enough, no matter what I might say to the contrary.

Yeah, that's a drag. It's so silly because anyone can have a vitamin deficiency. Jane had an iron deficiency she discovered a few months ago during the school blood drive, and John had one a few years ago that was discovered when he came down with pneumonia out of the blue. I really need to take my vitamins more consistently.

No, I never have, although I remember that my mother swore by that medication--or maybe it was Excedrin PM.

Tylenol PM works, too, though I don't keep Tylenol around because of how easy it is to overdose. Benadryl works, too.

Hope you had a great day! Maybe think about taking a couple Advil PM (or whatever) prophylactically tonight since tomorrow's the big day?

[4EverLearning]

Originally Posted by va1erie

Damn! Lost a post!

I HATE when that happens!

Originally Posted by va1erie

I had another dental appointment yesterday (got the permanent crown, but because I've been having so much pain with the temporary they put the permanent on with temporary glue so that we could see if the pain subsided before attaching it permanently -- if it doesn't, it means I need a root canal, ecccchhhh, and that would mean destroying the new crown to get it off) but I did a quick post before I left. I thought I'd hit send, but I guess I either forgot to or it disappeared. Sorry!

Sorry to hear you are still having tooth issues. I hope you don't need a root canal! I have had root canals after a crown without destroying the crown; they drill through the top of the crown, then fill the hole. But obviously it would be better, and the crown is stronger, if you can avoid doing that.

Originally Posted by va1erie

So you talked again on the phone? That makes twice, then?

Yes, and then we talked again for a short time today.

Originally Posted by va1erie

Glad you had a good day, and yay you for going to happy hour again!

I think I had even more fun than last week! There were more people there, including some of the older folks!

Originally Posted by va1erie

I weighed yesterday and today (no change), didn't get any exercise yesterday but I'm up and dressed for my class this morning, ate fairly reasonably yesterday though we ordered Chinese for dinner as I really didn't feel like cooking after the dentist.

Chinese food virtually always causes water retention, doesn't it? So you will probably lose today. Hope your class went well.

Originally Posted by va1erie

From yesterday: Wow, that is so sad. How could you even pass the Ohio Graduation Tests without having the literacy skills to pass Intro Psych? I thought that was the point of the OGTs?

I don't know for sure, but my guess would be that special-needs students who have been on an IEP (individualized education plan) for their entire education are probably exempt from the OGT. But they can attend my campus anyway. I would have either quit my job or lost my mind a long time ago if I had to deal with those students in every class. But it's really only the intro course that's an issue, because that course is the gateway to the rest of the psych courses. So the students who are not "college material" never get out of the intro course--thank goodness! Essentially, we do the filtering later on rather than at the time of admission; anyone can be admitted, but only those who can legitimately do college work make it past their first few courses. Everyone is tested upon admission, and those who need remediation are put in developmental reading and math courses to try to get them ready to do college work. But in order to be eligible for financial aid, they have to be enrolled as full-time students, and the developmental courses don't give them enough hours. So the advisors typically put them in intro psych to get them up to full-time. Lucky me.

Originally Posted by va1erie

Yay! Still more excited than nervous after talking to him a second time?

I am, amazingly enough! That is very intriguing to me, since I know that the avoidance gradient (the rate at which avoidance motivation increases as a dreaded event approaches) is considerably steeper than the approach gradient (the rate at which approach motivation increases as an exciting event approaches). This means that, if you anticipate an event that elicits both dread AND excitement, the excitement is greater than the dread when the event is far off. True ambivalence (when the approach motivation equals the avoidance motivation) occurs at the intersection point of the two gradients. If you get past the ambivalence and its associated indecision, and continue to move forward, the dread will then exceed the excitement and will completely overtake the excitement by the time the event is imminent. So I am very surprised that my approach motivation is still ahead of my avoidance motivation. I haven't even hit the ambivalent point yet! (Sorry if the last paragraph made you feel as if I am lecturing you!! In class, that lesson would have been complete with graphs, examples, and variations!)

Originally Posted by va1erie

Yeah, that's a drag. It's so silly because anyone can have a vitamin deficiency. Jane had an iron deficiency she discovered a few months ago during the school blood drive, and John had one a few years ago that was discovered when he came down with pneumonia out of the blue. I really need to take my vitamins more consistently.

I'm sure that vitamin deficiencies are very common, even in people who take good care of themselves. I have never taken vitamins of any kind in my life, but probably should.

Originally Posted by va1erie

Hope you had a great day! Maybe think about taking a couple Advil PM (or whatever) prophylactically tonight since tomorrow's the big day?

I don't have any on hand and don't want to go out in the cold at this point, but I think I will sleep. I am very, very tired.

my report: My weight was down another .6. (I'm back in the 127's! YAY! But it's probably just dehydration from the drink I had last night.) Stayed OP. Had a terrific personal training session (which certainly contributed to my current tiredness). Ate slowly and mindfully, contacted my diet buddy.

Tomorrow I'm going to Marietta, OH for lunch. I figure I should tell a couple of people where I am going, just in case I don't come back!! Not that I think there's any reason for concern, of course. Wish me luck!

[4EverLearning]

Uh, oh, did another post go POOF? Hope you are OK!

Well, my big day is over, and I survived. I had a really good time and hope we get together again, but I also won't be brokenhearted if we don't. I'm thinking that's a pretty good outcome! We had a nice lunch and then walked around the town and went in a bunch of stores (his idea, not mine, which surprised me!). The only really awkward moment was in the restaurant when a couple who was on their way out the door walked past us, and we realized we knew each other. He was the minister at my church years ago. I didn't introduce them to my date, because for the life of me I could not think of the wife's name. But the worst thing was that they made a comment about not recognizing me at first because I look so different. They must have seen the panic on my face, because they backed off that topic immediately. But of course I later had to explain why I look so different, which I would have preferred not to deal with at this point.

I am so unbelievably tired. I feel like a deflated balloon. I am actually going to bed shortly and think I will have one of my 12-hour marathon sleeps. And it is going to feel very good!

my report: weight was up .8 this morning (no longer dehydrated, I am sure), ate reasonably all day, got a lot of walking in, contacted my diet buddy.

Hope all is well with you!

[va1erie]

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning

Uh, oh, did another post go POOF? Hope you are OK!

No, just getting here late today! Took Jane to Kenyon for an interview, left early, long day.

Well, my big day is over, and I survived. I had a really good time and hope we get together again, but I also won't be brokenhearted if we don't. I'm thinking that's a pretty good outcome!

Yeah, it is, but it does sound like you didn't like him as much as you thought you might?

We had a nice lunch and then walked around the town and went in a bunch of stores (his idea, not mine, which surprised me!). The only really awkward moment was in the restaurant when a couple who was on their way out the door walked past us, and we realized we knew each other. He was the minister at my church years ago. I didn't introduce them to my date, because for the life of me I could not think of the wife's name. But the worst thing was that they made a comment about not recognizing me at first because I look so different. They must have seen the panic on my face, because they backed off that topic immediately. But of course I later had to explain why I look so different, which I would have preferred not to deal with at this point.

Uh-HUH! Only acceptable comment is "You look great."

I am so unbelievably tired. I feel like a deflated balloon. I am actually going to bed shortly and think I will have one of my 12-hour marathon sleeps.

I'm sure it's the end-of-the-big-day thing.

Report: weighed (no change), ate reasonably, though probably too much salt. Got reasonable exercise. I'm exhausted and want a bath, so I'll be in tomorrow!

Sunday: Weighed (down 1, yay), pulled a muscle in my back so not in great shape, will check in tomorrow and respond to your yesterday post!

[4EverLearning]

Originally Posted by va1erie

No, just getting here late today! Took Jane to Kenyon for an interview, left early, long day.

How did Jane like Kenyon? I've heard lots of good things about it over the years, but I don't know anyone who has actually gone there.

Originally Posted by va1erie

Uh-HUH! Only acceptable comment is "You look great."

I think they would have said that if I had not jumped in so quickly to stop them!

Originally Posted by va1erie

Sunday: Weighed (down 1, yay), pulled a muscle in my back so not in great shape, will check in tomorrow and respond to your yesterday post!

OUCH! How did you pull a muscle? I hope you got some rest today and are feeling at least a bit better by now.

my report: weight was up .4, got no exercise, stayed OP all day, ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, saved a few bites for my kitty, contacted my diet buddy.

[va1erie]

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning

How did Jane like Kenyon? I've heard lots of good things about it over the years, but I don't know anyone who has actually gone there.

This was her second visit -- we went for a tour and info session last year, but they don't offer interviews to Juniors, so that's what we were going back for. Her biggest concern is that the town of Gambier is SO small. The nearest "big" town is Mt Vernon, about five miles away. A lot of these small LACs are in tiny little towns, but this one is small even relative to that. And the school itself is smaller than she really thinks would be ideal -- 1600, when she thinks 2000+ is a better size. And of course it's got Ohio weather. Other than that, it would be the ideal place for her. It's a writer's school, it's the closest highly-selective LAC to home, Greek life is marginal, athletics aren't a big part of social life, the little town and the campus are very pretty, and most important she knows she'd fit in. She'd almost culled it from her final list but then found out a close friend had gone ED and been accepted, and that made her rethink. If she ended up there, I think she'd be very happy, but if she gets into Pomona, Wesleyan, Bowdoin, Middlebury, Emory, Wash U, I think the chances are good she'd choose one of them over Kenyon.

OUCH! How did you pull a muscle? I hope you got some rest today and are feeling at least a bit better by now.

No idea! I got up in the morning and realized I'd pulled a muscle. I used to pull them frequently in my back but haven't had a pull since I started doing core work. This one isn't as bad as the ones I had in the five or ten years before starting doing so much core work, but it was enough to keep me from going to class this morning.

my report: weight was up .4, got no exercise, stayed OP all day, ate everything sitting down and slowly and mindfully, saved a few bites for my kitty, contacted my diet buddy.

Yay, you!

Report: weighed -- up 1.8 to .4 below goal, ack! -- and totally deserved that. When I have a muscle pull, I tend to just hunker down and not move, and I also tend to eat badly, and I did. I didn't realize it was that badly, though. But it could just be water retention -- way too much salt yesterday. But I'm still freaking out, and I'm definitely going to eat very low today and watch the salt.

From your Saturday post:

Originally Posted by 4EverLearning

I think I had even more fun than last week! There were more people there, including some of the older folks!

Maybe all it took was one of the "older folks <g>" to go, and then others felt they were welcome too?

I don't know for sure, but my guess would be that special-needs students who have been on an IEP (individualized education plan) for their entire education are probably exempt from the OGT. But they can attend my campus anyway. I would have either quit my job or lost my mind a long time ago if I had to deal with those students in every class. But it's really only the intro course that's an issue, because that course is the gateway to the rest of the psych courses. So the students who are not "college material" never get out of the intro course--thank goodness! Essentially, we do the filtering later on rather than at the time of admission; anyone can be admitted, but only those who can legitimately do college work make it past their first few courses. Everyone is tested upon admission, and those who need remediation are put in developmental reading and math courses to try to get them ready to do college work. But in order to be eligible for financial aid, they have to be enrolled as full-time students, and the developmental courses don't give them enough hours. So the advisors typically put them in intro psych to get them up to full-time. Lucky me.

The IEP would have to =specify= that the OGT wasn't appropriate for them, but then I would assume that the IEP team would also be saying that college-prep wasn't appropriate, either. My son had an IEP, but was very motivated to move from "standards" classes (which prepare kids to take the OGT) into "academic" classes (college prep) and in fact slowly transitioned a class per year from all but one standards level classes his freshman year into all academic his senior year. (BTW, I'd be interested to hear your take on these multiple levels, which seems to be more and more considered a bad thing by many educators and researchers, who seem to be saying that fewer tracks are a net benefit for the overall group. Which I can see, but it makes me wonder. I suspect these tracks serve the high-motivation and high-aptitude groups pretty well because it puts them into a group in which the critical mass are also very motivated, and everyone steps up their game. But obviously it removes these kids' positive influence from the less-motivated/lower aptitude groups, and because the lower-performance groups are a larger absolute number, the aggregate benefit of eliminating tracks is greater. My kids' high school tried to eliminate the "honors" track a few years ago but caved to pressure from parents of students who weren't performing strongly enough for accelerated or AP classes but wanted more of a challenge than the academic classes provided. And four different levels of classes does seem a little much, but this is a large and pretty diverse district -- 450+ kids per grade, and there are a couple of large neighborhoods where nearly every kid is on free lunch, but the district is also a magnet for high-performance, high academic pressure families. For my kids, the multiple levels was beneficial. Michael started out in standards courses but was able to transition to academics and was well-enough prepared for college that he pulled a 3.4 his Freshman year at Muskingum, and Jane was able to take almost all accelerated or AP courses but drop into Honors for math. Both kids tended to remark that students in the lower-level courses "weren't serious enough," which makes me suspect that the reason untracking benefits the overall group is because each extra level removes the "cream" who otherwise would be in a particular class modelling higher expectations/motivation/performance, which maybe in the aggregate pulls scores upward. I'd be interested to know what the effect is for those top performers -- is there downward movement in -their- scores when they're no longer in a class that's all top performers? There has to be a reason why private/boarding schools, which are almost all high-motivation, high-aptitude students, are so highly regarded by highly-selective colleges. Those schools are nothing BUT a track. So that top track must be encouraging top performance from top students, who I assume aren't being hurt academically because they don't have a critical mass of lower-motivation, lower-aptitude students in their classes. So my suspicious mind -- which pretty much EXPECTS I'm being lied to with statistics -- thinks what the researchers are saying is that the community benefits because the average scores rise, and that lower achievement by the stars is a fair price to pay for that. I'm not sure I agree. I think there's an advantage that isn't being measured to having your highest-potential students being encouraged to maximum performance that can't be quantified by comparing the aggregate scores for the two approaches. Is it really more important that the overall averages are higher if what we're losing is the opportunity to push the top 5% to do their best? My elitism is showing again.)

I am, amazingly enough! That is very intriguing to me, since I know that the avoidance gradient (the rate at which avoidance motivation increases as a dreaded event approaches) is considerably steeper than the approach gradient (the rate at which approach motivation increases as an exciting event approaches). This means that, if you anticipate an event that elicits both dread AND excitement, the excitement is greater than the dread when the event is far off. True ambivalence (when the approach motivation equals the avoidance motivation) occurs at the intersection point of the two gradients. If you get past the ambivalence and its associated indecision, and continue to move forward, the dread will then exceed the excitement and will completely overtake the excitement by the time the event is imminent.

Oh, I LOVE this! This so explains why when I get invited to a party, I always want to go, and then by the day of the party I'm reluctant. I'd never heard of this before!

So I am very surprised that my approach motivation is still ahead of my avoidance motivation. I haven't even hit the ambivalent point yet! (Sorry if the last paragraph made you feel as if I am lecturing you!! In class, that lesson would have been complete with graphs, examples, and variations!)

I love graphs, examples, and variations. So were you still high approach-motivation when it was time to get dressed to go meet him?

I'm sure that vitamin deficiencies are very common, even in people who take good care of themselves. I have never taken vitamins of any kind in my life, but probably should.

Oh, definitely. For one thing, thin women need to be concerned about calcium. I think Vitamin D and calcium are interrelated, too -- you need one to absorb the other, I think.

Tomorrow I'm going to Marietta, OH for lunch. I figure I should tell a couple of people where I am going, just in case I don't come back!! Not that I think there's any reason for concern, of course. Wish me luck!

Glad I didn't need to call the Marietta cops to go out looking for your body.

[4EverLearning]

Hi, Val! Today was a 16-hour day for me, and I didn't get home from an endless meeting at the main campus until after 9PM. I am so tired I can't function, and you wrote so many interesting things that I really need to respond carefully to! So I will get back to you tomorrow. Hope your back is feeling better today.

my report: weight was down .6, had to eat dinner in the car but stayed OP all day, did not exercise, did not read cards, contacted my diet buddy. Oh, and I have been giving myself lots of credit for not overeating in response to all of the intense emotions I have been feeling for the last few days. YAY ME!