Still no credit for exercise... its the first to go when I am feeling low. I know thats counter productive, becasue exercise= endorphines. I can't add judgment for not exercising to my plate right now, so I am accepting that I made that choice.
Another really on plan eating day though! I had to talk back to a lot of "food will fix my sadness" thoughts. I love those moments when I can really see the change. In the past I just would have started shoving food in.
DFiance and I are having friends from my undergrad days visit this weekend. I'm looking forward to the distraction and I know there will be lots of laughing!
eusebius Great job going through all the Beck tasks! Sounds like you used your meal planning well to be skillful and enjoy a dinner out.
Lexxiss Credit for lots of planned and spontaneous exercise and not letting sabotaging thoughts take you down!
Beverlyjoy Hoping the brace is your solution and will help avoid surgery. That is definitely something to be hopeful about!
tarte Major credit for making the choice not to get the take out... and you were almost to the restaurant! that is major resistence!!! That's one of those memories to reflect back to when you need to remember you can do it!!
Billbe Way to go with the Rock Climbing! Is it part of your regular gym? Sounds like you're really challenging yourself!
Cheerleading us all for a great Beck day and weekend!
Hi Coaches! Yesterday was pretty miserable but I didn't eat over it. *credit* My exercise was only slow movements in the pool so I adjusted my calories and crossed off my evening snack. Tonight is a special event I have given myself permission to "just enjoy". My elderly pup is nominated for an award at our hospital and the dinner is held at a posh country club near Aspen. I have no idea what the food choices will be. I'll have a light lunch and will read the chapters where Dr. Beck gives ideas for special events. I'll employ the use of some "extra calories".
BillBlueEyes, yay for finding the book which interested you at a small library. I'm remembering you can return it instead of storing it in the basement! *credit* for OP eating, avoiding tree nuts and exercising upside down!
Beverlyjoy, great news that you remain willing to do your Beck tasks and that the scale is cooperating!
tarte, what a successful day; practicing two of your Beck exercises then saying NO CHOICE to your sabotaging thoughts. The thought, "I decided I didn't want to wake up disappointed yet AGAIN", seemed to be a very effective reminder.
ChefJoona, great Beck job talking back to those sabotaging thoughts. Enjoy your weekend and good friends.
Wow, I'm really tired this morning. These long days are getting to me a bit. Oh well, coffee is my friend :P
Today is Day 15 - Monitor Your Eating. I'm pretty good about that using the WW iphone app, so I think that is covered. I have my plan prepared from yesterday, so I just have to stick to it.
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Great job on your good Beck day! Kudos for recognizing that "food won't fix it" - wise words for me to hear. Sorry that yesterday was miserable but I'm glad you have a special event to enjoy tonight.
Beverlyjoy - great prospects for that brace - here's hoping the surgery can be avoided entirely! And congrats on the big loss!
tarte - Kudos for practicing those Beck exercises (Becksercises?) They are indeed helpful. The hunger exercise in particular I think is very revealing. And kudos for avoiding the takeout temptation!
Bill - How cool that you are reading The Rest is Noise - I have never finished it myself so will have to one of these days. Love the part about Salome. When I listen to it now it hardly seems shocking at all. Kudos for your continued consistency with OP eating and exercise, including rock climbing, which would be frightening to me to try.
ChefJoona - Great job staying OP! The exercise will come, I'm sure. I am thinking I need to use the "NO CHOICE" saying in regard to exercise as well as unplanned eating.
Time to suck back some java ... My piano tuner is coming this morning, yay! She has been amazing in advising me on this piano purchase and I'm excited to update her on the latest developments.
Have a great OP Friday, all!
cheers
Erika
Read ARC: yes
Sat down to eat: yes
Gave myself credit: yes
Walking: yes 15 min
Yoga: yes
I managed to stay onplan 100% while on the road Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. All was well until when I got home last night and I did some unplanned snacking- go figure.
Plan for the day:
Weigh in done
Do weights done
30 minutes walking or on the exercise bike nope
Read advantage and response cards done
Breakfast- Kashi and an orange done
Snack- yogurt and berries done
Lunch- salad and soup done
Snack- apple done
Dinner- chicken, salad and couscous done
Snack- diet pudding nope-ate too much again tonight
Check back in tonight and mark these off! doing now
I went to the meeting for the local studio tour artists last night in a seniors center here in my new town. All the city buildings here are really impressive. They are all interesting and modernized with original facades. I saw a poster for "the winners of Senior Star 2011" - a local Amercian Idol for local seniors. Interesting. Then I saw a poster advertisting a "Course in Woodworking" located in the woodshop downstairs. A woodshop? In a seniors' centre? Pretty active seniors around here. Anyway the meeting was peopled by some, dare I say, antsy artists. Maybe they were all new to doing shows, but they seemed overly concerned about things that are not really controllable. And it felt like this town may be engaged in a little too much hand-holding and "consultation". It was amazing the amount of attention they are giving this 2 day show with an estimated attendance of 125 people per day! That's not a "big show" by any means.
Anyway.
I should qualify this by saying I've done lots of big art/craft shows, but not in the last 4-5 years since I went back to school. And none in this new town I just moved to. I felt like I was cut off at the knees as I had zero to offer in terms of connections or local marketing strategies or people to contact. I had oodles of that where I moved from. 20 years worth. It's hard not to be able to contribute in that way but to just sit and listen. Good practice for sitting and listening and accepting things though. *credit* for recognizing this.
The night before I was at the community garden information session. Community garden is a mis-nomer. It's really a co-op farm in the city, like 10 minutes from me. 1.5 acres, 45-65 members, all dedicated to raising a big variety of crops and sharing in the harvest according to how much time you've spent in the garden. It's a sustainable enterprise, all organic and biodynamic following the principles of Rudolph Steiner. The Head Gardener was there. He described the planting, how it's all done from seed, and seeds that were saved from last year and before, germinated, moved (if needed) from the greenhouses (2 of them) to the plots. Gardening is done according to the "lunar calendar and the astrological aspects". DH said to me "One day I'm gonna come home and find you in the kitchen with your hippy friends." I do believe, coaches, I have discovered some hippies.
Most exciting thing about the garden is that there may be a desire amongst the members to have chickens this years for fresh eggs. I would be able to be part of the "chicken team" were that to happen! The Chicken Team! So exciting. Who knew I would move to the biggest city in my country and find myself an opportunity to learn how to farm. It's incredible.
The other thing that I thought was "if I do this, I'm going to be able to completely change my way of eating." Given that we are influenced by those around us, this group of folks are health-conscious, aware of high quality food, using all kinds of foods grown by their own hands, there is no way that I could participate in this and not have my consciousness-raised about the quality of the food I am eating. Really. Probably this will have the most direct and long lasting effect on the improvement of my health. Orientation to the garden is in May, right after we are back from our Florida Shuttle Launch trip.
That's my news. I need to do some work on my artist residency proposal today so I'd better get started. I'll need a few days in a row to get that together that's for sure.
Food has been okay lately. I track in the daytime and then forget at night but catch up the next day. I think even doing it imperfectly is helping me slow down my food intake. I am grateful for that.
I've been trying to fix the bloatedness and other stresses of overeating with...wait for it... food! Guess how well that worked.
This feels very familiar to me. It's the vicious cycle I got into frequently when I weighed 240 pounds. Back then, I didn't know how to break it. Now I do.
Credit for throwing away a jar of almond butter. It was a gift from a dietician -- see how easy of a trap that was to fall into? Almond butter might be nutritious but there was nothing healthy about the way I obsessed over it.
WI: NAkgs, Exercise: +85* 635/1500 minutes for April, Food: 70%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Even though I applied late, I was accepted for the all womens' retreat for this weekend. Since I will be away, I will not be posting until Monday sometime. This retreat is initiation into a lay community of Catholic women (and men although kept separate) to facilitate a deeper and more personal walk with God,our Creator. My DH went to the first one held at our church back in spring 2005, gratis of my "gift" to him. He bonded so well with so many of the men that he has counted several as close and dear male friends since. Our shared faith is the cornerstone of our relationship as a couple. He has been a professed lay Carmelite since I have known. His present director of his lay Carmelite community has pressured me in the past to "join up" with their community but I have said that I would wait until I felt the Holy Spirit was prompting me. Well, I feel the nod from HS to begin reading the Office/ Liturgy of the Hours. I asked for DH's spiritual advice and he recommended starting the first week of Advent which is technically the "first of the year" liturgically. This is a twice daily committment of reading the Psalms, meditation on the Gospel that day and some of the Marian prayers. Talk about "No Choice". I have seen my DH travel 90 miles on icy roads to attend meetings, take his prayer books with him when he's working and "sneak" off to a church to pray. I have often said that if I ever get to heaven (we Catholics don't believe its a given)I will have to tell St. Peter that I give much of the credit of having my DH as a role model.
So, what has all of this got to do with losing weight and BDS, you ask (or at least thinking)? As a veteran OAer (16 years coming up), I had made food my "god". Food was what I always turned to in times of stress, to comfort myself, and to just be indulgent, as some of you attest to your struggles with here. Through 12 Steps, I arrested my compulsive overeating and binging to the point that when it happens, and I will always be "recovering" never "recovered", I know how to pull myself out of a tailspin faster than a jack rabbit on speed. However, I still have some residual "stinkin thinkin" and that is where the good Dr. Beck comes in.
I decided to go back to square one. Nothing like reviewing what I have been practicing. I did Day 1 two days ago and Day 2 yesterday. I made my ARC and I have a e-stickie on my pc right now. This time, I am not going to cut corners and jump around from this Day or that Day; until I have completed the entire program. In fact, she has already warned of doing just that. I am going through each Day as she has it laid out even if I could tell you the words on the page without even looking. I parked "pride" at the curb.
So, I picked my two diets yesterday. Well, actually I had picked them long ago and I am fine tuning as the days/weeks go by. It is a combination of both the set food plan and the counting plan that she discusses in the book.
Yesterday, I made some short stops to pick up some packable food items for this upcoming retreat. They asked me if I had any special dietary needs which I don't in the sense that they mean. However, I want to be prepared for supplementing what they may or may not have, depending on what we are served. So many people are so health-conscious now that as a general rule I don't see many functions like the ones you all have described here. PS Depending on what kind of pizza that was would predicate my response. I am picky about pizza since it is my all time favorite. No, they are not all created equal.
This is Lent so most of us have foregone the "sinful goodies" of weeks before. The retreat centers actually offer rather austere foods. Again, food is in its proper place. Feed the body. No more. No less. However, I bringing bottled spring water, nuts, dried fruits and fiber bars should I need them as "back ups".
During the alone time and reflection I plan on bringing the BDS book to do that day's "homework". I see it as an essential to me burning the last vestiges of "food is an idol". I believe, it is one pediment that stands between myself and the relationship I could have with God and with other people. Compulsive overeating is a "tunnel vision" existence. It is not living.
In the past, I used both my extra weight on my physical body as a wall I erected to put between myself and other people. I didn't want people to get close to me, either physically or emotionally. Now, I am going to take it a step further and tear down that wall.
Everyone here sounds like they doing well given each of your circumstances.
Lexxiss - congrats on a great day. Enjoy your planned outing.
Beverlyjoy - something tells me you really didn't want to go the surgery route so I am hoping that this brace is what you need. I, instead, look forward to getting the much needed joint replacement surgery because I know that is the only thing that will get me back in the game.
tarte - you're doing great! Each step is a victory towards mastering your relationship with food.
Bill - I love clothes! I gave away 13 black Hefty bags of clothes this past fall/early winter. As I go down in size, out those old big sizes go. I just don't want to "return" there again. Rock climbing sounds fun! Now, the malls have them to "babysit" the little kids while the parents shop. How 21st century is that?
ChefJoona - Great job staying OP!
PS Sorry this was so long. Consider it three days' worth. Please
Hi friends... I am very very sad. My DS & DIL were expecting another child.. Last night they had a miscarriage and lost the baby. My heart is broken. Cookies didn't mend it. They say time will help. Even before it's born.. all the hopes for the future are there. Not fair, oh well. (Beckism applies, I guess).
Food so so. I did my stretches today and wrote down what I ate. I am glad it's a beautiful day.
Talk to you tomorrow.
Last edited by Beverlyjoy; 04-15-2011 at 04:38 PM.
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Did gym and walking both; CREDIT moi. Gym included a new high weight in my chest presses. The big deal is that I asked a guy I didn't know to spot for me since dropping these on my chest (or face) could cause damage; he did, and I got them in the air for a full set of six reps. At my gym, I've never asked a stranger for help, so that was a milestone of sorts.
Food was OP; CREDIT moi. It helped that we went out last evening so I didn't have to think about extra snacks. We walked home in weather cool enough to be glad we'd worn coats. Spring is iffy.
onebyone - What a terrific set of activities you're setting yourself up for in your new environment. Love that you're going to the big city to learn to farm.
Erika (eusebius) - Here's hoping you get some sleep since coffee is just a band aid. Hope your Steinway is on an air cushioned van taking a calm drive up from Miami.
CeeJay Three days on the road at 100% on plan is worthy of a Kudos for sure.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Yay for finding another use for food that doesn't work, LOL. With Serious Kudos for tossing a jar of almond butter - those nut butters are deadly. Deadly with the special seduction that they're good for you. Now those 85 minutes of exercise might just well work on attacking bloatedness.
Beverlyjoy - Sending supportive thoughts to you, your DS and DIL. I've been through those emotions.
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Congrats to you pup for the reward that included dinner at a posh country club! Does your pup get anything special out of this? Even a doggie treat? Kudos for "adjusted my calories and crossed off my evening snack" - it's good for me to see a flexible response.
ChefJoona - Kudos for talking back to "food will fix my sadness" thoughts - great Beck work. [Rock climbing was done at it's own gym. My two weeks that came with the training class is now over. I've done what I wanted by trying it out and going three times. It's a long drive, not planning to take it up as a sport in my life.]
pamatga - Waving back toward your retreat center. May you have a peaceful weekend. [13 bags of clothes gone sounds major.]
Readers -
Quote:
chapter 3 Get Ready to Lose
Before you start, however, I would like you to do the following 10 essential tasks. task 4 Get a Diet Buddy
Successful dieters have a trusted friend, family member, or fellow dieter to help them with the challenges of dieting. If you are like many dieters, you are probably thinking, No way am I telling anyone I'm on a diet. I understand your concern. So many of the dieters I have counseled were initially so ashamed of their weight that they thought, What if I fail again? I don't want anyone to know.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D, The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 35.
Enjoyed a nice gathering with co-workers last night. Used some Beck skills, but definitely indulged as well. This weekend is going to be a weekend of pushing my calorie limit. With my friends from college in town now I know I will be having several meals out with them and we are having a dinner party here at our house tomorrow. I will make mindful healthy choices. I get anxious now when I can't control and plan out my meals... in the past I would have looked forward to the opportunity to indulge by eating out. I will remind myself that these meals do not need to derail all my hard work and I can use them as time to practice my new Beck skills. My weigh-in my will give information on how damaging such eating events are.
Beverlyjoy My heart broke for you and your family when I read your news about the miscarriage. I agree with gardenerjoy, our society doesn't have a supportive way of acknowledging such an experience that many families must endure. Sending healing thoughts and energy.
Lexxiss I love that your pup is being honored! I hope it was a wonderful celebration.
onebyone Sounds like you're taking some great steps to get integrated into your new community.
gardenerjoy Credit for throwing away the almond butter when you recognized it wasn't keeping you on track.
CeeJay Credit for staying on plan even while away from home!
Eusebius Sounds like you're really committed to practicing the Beck tasks! Keep up the good work!
BillBE Way to go- stepping out of your comfort zone and asking for assistance, which helped reach a fitness goal!
My Advantages card isn't working well for me anymore. Some goals I've met (get off my blood pressure medicine, yay!). Others, I won't know for twenty years if I met or not (live longer than my parents). And others are hard to measure (reduce pain--how do I know if I have less now than I would have otherwise?). Those all worked for me before and I'm grateful for the willingness that they provided for me to lose 65 pounds forever. But I need some new Advantages to keep them off.
Since I'm struggling with that and some other things, I've decided to start over again with the pink book. I've never actually worked all the way through the pink book, even though that's the one I own. I've gone all the way through the green book from the library, but have always stopped somewhere in the middle of the pink book. So, here goes.
Day 1: Advantages.
I may add some more to this list, but here is what I have for the moment:
I want my healthy lifestyle to be routine so that I can move on to other projects without fear of losing my healthy habits.
I want to take great joy in my new lifestyle.
I want to feel good wearing my new clothes.
I want the CDC to say I'm normal weight.
I want to wake up each day hungry and energetic.
I want to be happy with my weight and my healthy lifestyle on May 12, 2012 (my 50th birthday).
WI: NAkgs, Exercise: +45* 680/1500 minutes for April, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Beverlyjoy, so sorry for your loss. Good you find strength in Becks teachings at this painful period.
onebyone, great that being surrounded by health-conscious community inspires you to change your lifestyle for the better.
pamatga, your words about using weight as wall between yourself ant other people might be so true for me. I might not be much on this thread for the upcoming weeks, but I will definitely put “not to push people away” on my task list for the next week. And congrats on starting BDS from square one.
BillBlueEyes, congrats on taking courage to ask stranger to spot for you when doing chest presses. And I think it’s a good way to make strangers into a friends.
gardenerjoy, I love your comment on almond butter ”there was nothing healthy about the way I obsessed over it”. And congrats on determination to work all the way through the pink book.
Beck day 34.
Today lesson is something about problems, but I don't feel like I have serious problems. Looks like old me is coming back to life and old me is very shallow and does not believe in problems.
Surfing the internet for diets and weight loss solutions was quite an addiction for me, but I don't need that in my life anymore. I just want to have a normal life, enjoy my job, spend some evenings in the gym, go for my runs and stop obsessing about dieting and that is what I am trying to do now.
Being busy with training for the job worked wonders for me, because I never slipped from my plan, did all BDS reading, logging, exercising and dieting. Now, weekend came and some boredom crept back in. Looks like I just can't stay at home, because it makes me binge. But, oh well, now I have my distraction activities chart tool, just need to practice with it a little bit more to make it work.
I am very grateful to you all, because with Beck Solution and this thread I got the courage and determination to reach for what I want.
I made good choices at the dinner last night, unfortunately during the presentation I started to get really sick. By the time we got home, I didn't have it in me to try and guess at things for tracking purposes. Today, I've stayed in bed and made some chicken/barley soup. I got up and crunched on some things and stopped. Instead, went to the HF store and stocked up on fruit. I won't be in my calorie range today (no exercise) but I've decided not to order a pizza or eat donuts, either. I have tracked what I have eaten. *credit*
Beverlyjoy, I am sorry for your loss.
I may get back later. Thanks for being here, everyone!
TGIF all day
