Diet Coaches/Buddies - Had a long day wrestling problems at work. The good news is that I didn't even think of the vending machines; CREDIT moi. Fell into bed early and slept late. I've got a few more days of this. Ugh.
Was eating sanely at a volunteer meeting last night with shared snacks, until someone arrived with a large bowl of trail mix - just ordinary packaged trail mix that was mostly peanuts. I over indulged in that, methinks because I was still carrying tension from my work day. Surprise, surprise. I've got to remember that my ability to focus is affected by my emotions, and simmering resentment or tension is likely to show up by gobbling food, and I'm historically susceptible to an open bowl of nuts. I haven't mastered a quick fix to tension; need me a meditation guru - one who understands that I want my equanimity NOW.
maryblu - Trying to conceal my jealousy at those living in the garden of eden plucking apples from the tree - even choosing which tree. Fortunately, my childhood religious training has made me wary of women plucking apples, LOL.
CeeJay - Such a joyous goal, "to maintain this wonderful calm and sense of wellbeing." Congrats on day 3 back on your plan.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Yay for your "inner rebel" - I join you in believing that she's your ally on this journey.
Debbie (Lexxiss) - You do deserve Kudos for surviving giving support with all the tension that brings. Appreciating, "mindful is my word."
Donna (new2me2) - It's a big deal to recognize, "it didn't take much to make me satisfied" - Kudos for seeing that and leaving part of your omelet at the restaurant. Hope dental appointment went well.
Woodland - That is a real strength indeed, to be around off-plan food and not feel tempted. Kudos for making such a yummy sounding salsa and not taking a bite.
MaryContrary - Any de-cluttering is a big deal from my perspective. Kudos for getting some done and for getting on track with your dissertation. [And thanks for the kind words.]
maryann - Yay for "vanquished mountains, battled dragons, performed a few moderate services for the less powerful" - now that's living your life. I wanna see the movie.
Pecola123 - It's interesting that you felt hunger only for the period of your normal lunch, and not thereafter. That's pretty common. Also interesting that you were preoccupied that you hadn't had lunch. I suspect that indicates just how much eating is a habit, not a response to hunger as we like to think. Love reading, "I'm more and more amazed by the taste of food doing this!!"
Readers -
Quote:
day 37 Reduce Stress
To relax your rules for other people, do the following:
Recognize that you just don't have control - or not much control - over other people. The only one you can really have control over is yourself. You can change your own thinking and behavior, but you can't necessarily change other people.
I've probaby had every single thought on the "It's okay to eat this because..." list. And I can add some new fooling thoughts now "It's okay to eat this because it's wholesome...healthy...prepared by someone who really cares about food...."
I liked one of the responses in the workbook best: "I have to become an expert at resisting all foods that I haven't planned to eat." I like the idea of become an expert at something!
WI: +0.15kg, Exercise: +95 760/1800 minutes for September, Food: 70%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
BillBlueEyes: LOL at wanting instant results from meditation. Good job not even having a thought about the vending machine.
maryann: hope your princess slept well! Credit for checking in being the last thing on your to do list!
Good morning everyone! OMGosh, the dental appointment was the best I've ever had, lol. I even said "that was fun" to the assistant, then added "I bet you don't hear THAT often, lol". Fun probably wasn't the right word, but it was painless and that's always fun in MY books! Not a single numbing shot or chemical was used...the stitches came out without a problem and he didn't even have to numb me to take out the temporary filling...didn't feel it a bit. Yay, lol.
I AM still toothless though...won't get a tooth on the implant for another 3 months, so it's going to be mostly soft foods, definitely no hard crunchy stuff on the other side...don't want to risk making another tooth go bad until I get the implant tooth.
I was pretty hungry yesterday so went a bit over my planned food. Exercise was 50 minutes of Walk It Out. Today I'm going for a more intense workout...
Pecola123 "I did feel a little preoccupied with the fact that I had not eaten." This is my biggest problem. If I think about it, I'm usually NOT that hungry, but I really get preoccupied with the fact that I haven't eaten. I think it's something I'll have to watch for for quite a while yet. Yay for eating slowly and really noticing your food!
CeeJay YAY for 3 great days on plan!!!
maryblu Umm, honeycrips or pink ladies are my favorite apples! I am totally jealous of your cornucopia of fruits! I think your treat sounds heavenly!! Yum.
maryann Yay for another good day!
Woodland Yay for "but at least it isn't a daily battle anymore."
BillBlueEyes Yay for not even thinking about vending machines! Tension is bad news for me too.
Day 20 happened to be my assigned day to read Sunday, and was it ever pertinent to my situation! It lists some reasons you might have gotten off track, and of six bullets, I ran into four of them:
Forgot (or refused) to read my Cards (too tired, and then didn't want to because I'd have to follow them)
Neglected to plan my food (Thought I'd do it in the morning, but...you know how that goes)
Encountered unexpected triggers (that time of the month and pain medications for my calf)
Wound up surrounded by food you hadn't planned to eat (undiscovered candy bars and homemade peach shortbreads)
So two days got away from me in a haze of chocolate and muscle relaxants.
By last night I understood what I'd done and felt ready to get back on plan; *credit* planning last night, having OP breakfast today, talking to my coach last night and at least "confessing", even though I didn't call soon enough to prevent, and *credit* for heading to the scales (at the dr's office) soon as I get off the computer.
Today's another day; ready to get back to it!
I'm headed to the library, but wanted to check-in with my forum . . . Things are moderately back on track. I did do a Food Plan for yesterday, and though I didn't stick with it completely, it wasn't too off-track.
The goal for today is to make tomorrow's plan during lunch. I also am feeling anxious because I haven't cracked the Beck books for a while. But I'm still not sure where I should fit this into my life . . . In the first phase of my plan, I was doing all my Beck stuff pre-diss, in the morning, around this time. Combined with checking in with this forum, it was causing me to get too late of a start. SO -- I'm thinking thinking thinking about where to build the Beck books back into my life. Maybe I need to give it a particular day, and keep my daily goals simple (like OPness and success skills . . .) Hmmmmmmmmm.
The Beck books are currently sitting with all my dissertation books (in the traveling library which is my car), but I never want them near when I'm trying to write. Too distracting. I think I'll cart them into the house tonight. I'll likely delve into them a bit more at home.
My DP helped me work through a craving -- still the chili cheese fries, which had abated until we actually drove by the chili-cheese-fries-heaven. She said, "Have I told you how amazing you're looking?" Which made me laugh, because it was so obviously meant to distract me, and also very sweet. The laughter eased the tension, and so I resisted! Yay for me.
Thanks for being here to take my ramblings. Have wonderful and balanced days!
Feeling bright eyed and bushytailed this morning. Did some prayer and meditation and realized how important it is to me for people to like me. If I think they don't like me I become afraid and that fear often gets covered by my overeating. Now that I am eating sanely, I have to face that fear. Not easy. These habits are deeply ingrained from my childhood. But I feel confident that I am changing and becoming the woman I want to be.
Gardenerjoy: I have been justifying alot lately, as well. "It is ok to eat because it is program food but NOT what I wrote down." I want to get back to a more disciplined approach so my calorie count doesn't creep up. BillBlueEyes: An open bowl of anything (except mayonaise) is dangerous to me. Nature girl: I just went through that time of the month and for the first time didn't overeat. I can't believe how uncomfortable I was not using food as a pain medication. Keep up the awareness. It is worth it.
What helped pop me out of it was making myself write down what I had eaten. It played out just like Beck says, showing me that I had not blown my plan as badly as I was thinking. I could still recover and had a decent day, calorie-wise. I was able to not beat myself up too much about the mistake of giving in.
Hi Beckfolks.... I am checking in. I saw my dermatologist last Thursday. He said that I am healing nicely. I need to go back to see him at the end of the September. He thinks by then I'll be able to schedule my foot/ankle surgery. I was thinking my skin looked horrible. But - he said 'it's just scars'. They should go away in a year. He said that my skin will be healed enough in a week or so enough that I can get my seasonal flu shot. What a journey.
For the last 5 days out of state with my son, dil, and gs. I loved being there.
I keep trying to focus on the Beck principles. But, mostly, I haven't been able to stay with it. (there hasn't been enough chocolate in my world.....) But, I am back home, I made my plan and am doing get out my journal. I tossed out Dh's candy and goodies, bought healthy food and have already had 4 glasses of water. I hope I can come back tomorrow with gratitude for a healthful day.
Remember to treat yourself as well as you'd treat a good friend.
hi everyone. i have not fallen off the face of the Earth or the diet wagon, for that matter.
i've actually been at it hard and my paid friend / diet coach has been working really well. surprise surprise surprise! (a la Gomer Pile)
my pants are literally falling off of me today. another one to the "retire" pile. yay!
i've added new exercises to my routine to keep it spicey and what used to be tough 30-40 minutes at the gym has turned into an easy hour! not easy to do but mentally. and boy do I work it.
the scale, well, it still refuses to cooperate and no one believes me when I say it won't move because my clothes continue to get larger (not literally). but it has not moved. it feels comfortable. i've decided that true muscle is building and that maybe after a month to two months, it will start to move again. it's been about a month now. whatever.
but calling the D.C. daily and on weekends and when i'm freaking out for something bad or stressing or whatever, has really helped. i hear myself - proud of my work out, or eating right or sounding ridiculous for wanting bad food b/c of something stupid, lazy or stressful.
trip home is in less than a month. really wanted to be in the 150s by then. still possible as I linger here. gonna keep going.
will keep checking in but probably not daily as I struggle with these last 2 deadlines and travel and momma time and work outs, and cooking. Credit me for keeping at this FINALLY!!!!
Hi Coaches
Still here and still on plan. I haven't even been logging in to read posts as I have been pretty busy but more I have been fairly distracted. I am teaching a new subject at work and it is distracting me. I am also about to take on a large new project which isn't how I planned my gentle rehab and reintroduction back to work. However, it is a good project and needs doing now and I seriously need to be kept challenged at work. So I grabbed it. I need to think about relocating from my out of city address to closer to work at least for the 4 or 5 years until I retire. The travel is killing me. But the two beasties (dawgs ) might make it difficult to find accommodation. Oh well - just rambling now.
My weight is moving downwards again! I do like to see a new low. I have changed my maximum weight because like GardenerJoy I was going through my charts etc and my highest weight before I started this journey at the beginning of the year was 105kg (232lbs) - I am now 206 pounds so have broken 95 kg so that is a nice milestone.
Houston2Command - I can borrow your accepting attitude of the scale not moving in response to your ongoing on plan eating and exercise. Your clothes are giving the true result
Beverlyjoy - Thanks for the progress report - yay for your skin clearing up at last and the prospect of scheduling surgery. Good wishes that your day goes to plan and that the plan goes to plan
maryann - Your reflections show great insight into the causes of emotional eating - and you remind me about the usefulness of meditation in being centred and focussed
MaryContrary - Yay for a moderately on track day and credit for more planning. I struggle with where to fit it all in - I have found reading a few pages of Beck in bed before sleep sort of works - unless it competes with the work I am running late with and need to read in bed as well! But my main problem is an entire lack of discipline really - scheduling time to do the necessaries.
Nature Girl - Ouch for pain and eating triggers and being surrounded by temptations. Yay for moving on and making a plan - that seems to be what it is all about
Donna (new2me2) - Yay for competent dentistry and good outcomes. Sounds like things are going to plan
GardenerJoy - I have a long list of reasons that make it OK to do things that are on the excluded list (and not do things on the should do list!) It is startling to see it written in someone else's list in a book and just makes me know how predictable this behaviour is - sort of comforting
BillBlueEyes - Instant gratification - lol when applied to meditation and equanimity. Same old story about consistency and practice and discipline isn't it. All of which I need a lot of work on. Ouch for struggling with problems and a lurking bowl of trail mix
Progress -
- I motivated myself by reading A&R cards - No
- Made food plan - Yes - Logged food soon after eating - Yes
- Food on-plan - Yes
- Ate seated every time - No
- Ate mindfully & slowly & put down fork occasionally - Yes
- Weighed myself - Yes - down - 206
- Read the Green Book - Yes
- Exercise - No!
Beverlyjoy: Credit for everything you've done so far to get yourself back on track. Bet things will go better from the work you've already done.
I'm beginning to prepare for my DH being out of town. I tend to go a little crazy with food when he firsts leaves. Even though writing out a food plan is ahead of where I am currently in the green book, I think I am going to start one so I have a means to hold myself more accountable.
I've begun to attempt to eat only the amount of evening dessert that I have mentally planned. Unable to do this op; I'm having difficulty getting started using Beck's techniques for this. My goal tonight is to have 1 Trader Jo's Chocolate Yogurt and then just try using the "no choice" technique.
Credits:
Read cards.
Weighed
Ate sitting, slowly, savoring.
Lacking giving credit during day.
Exercised
Parking further away to walk.
Posted
Another quick check in tonight. To report 4 days on plan!!!! Yahoo.
Credit today for:
weighing in
planning tomorrow and packing lunch
eating healthy and almost on plan (see below)
one and a half hours of yard work tonight
posting to my coaches
eating one cookie at a meeting today and making myself stop
eating sitting down and mostly mindfully
Beverlyjoy, you are such a trooper. I can only imagine how good it will feel to have your surgery BEHIND you.
Seadwaters, I feel your pain for long commute to work and dawggies to consider in the equation. 'Tis a trade-off.
Pecola, good luck with your "No choice" behavior tonight. Tough to do with Trader Joe's!
Houston2command, *laffin'. You keep your pants on, girl!
Leonor, great job for not blowing an entire day. Isn't it marvelous the way the Beck program works for that?
BillBE, wish you were here. Am seeing hawks I can't identify, and they are cruising the lake. ...thought only Osprey really "fished". The eagle has been hungry of late, too..was soaring over the lake for a cuppla hours today. The Hummingbird Moths are around finally. Weird little dudes, but kinda fun to watch.
'lo to all I missed..appreciate all your insights.
I had a good day, even with the stress of going to town. My little road is full of farm activity traffic, so sometimes I stress about trying to get through it all in my little car. No problems with it today.
MaryContrary brings up a good point, about how to fit Beck into a day. I keep my three books (pink, green, and workbook) in my bedroom, and read a little bit every night. If I've struggled with a particular skill, I try to read about that. I also try to think only positive thoughts when I turn out the light to fall asleep. I find I fall to sleep more quickly that way.
I also try to cap my evening at the computer by reading this forum, reviewing my food list for the next day, and filling out a fast checklist regarding how I did with the basic Beck skills. I also try to make a note about something I want to focus on the next day. Sounds like a lot when I put it in one place, but it really doesn't take much time. Time well spent though !
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Work. Stress. Eat. Sleep. Ugh. But this only happens for short spells, and then it's over. CREDIT moi for thinking about giving myself credit, LOL.
Exercise was typing on the keyboard.
maryblu - Wish I could see those hawk cruising your lake and fishing no less. I haven't a clue.
CeeJay - Big Kudos for, "and making myself stop" - such a major thing to know that briefly off-plan can remain briefly, and not be the slippery slope. Welcome fourth day!!!
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Thanks for, "I have to become an expert at resisting all foods that I haven't planned to eat." I had this big time during my losing phase; gotta get back to it more rigorously.
Beverlyjoy - I smile just from your mention of your DGS - the one who makes you laugh. Wonderful news that you're back on track able to to schedule your surgery. LOL that 'it's just scars' should make you feel better.
Cheryl (Seadwaters) - Yay for recognizing that you need to keep yourself challenged at work, and for grabbing the opportunity. Ouch for the travel; hope you find a less stressful solution.
Donna (new2me2) - Nope, doesn't compute, dentist and fun is an oxymoron, LOL. Ouch for waiting for three months for your new tooth. I shudder to think of how much weight that might make you lose.
Woodland - Neat idea to focus on a positive thought before falling asleep. [I do my Beck stuff with my morning coffee with additional thoughts from memory when I find myself battling Sabotaging Thoughts.]
Houston2Command - Congrats for "pants are literally falling off of me." And Kudos for continuing to work with your real life Diet Coach - you set up a good thing for yourself there.
MaryContrary - Methinks it's a serious issue to find the right place for daily Beck - worthy of waffling, shuffling, and trying things out. I've always dreamed of going to a Fat Farm for a month to lose weight and get in shape - just indulging in a fantasy to help avoid finding the right way to live. Real life is certainly real.
maryann - Yay for, "becoming the woman I want to be." Kudos for spotting that wanting to be liked needs to be balanced. Beck's books are good at continuously pointing out where our desire to be liked leads us to decisions that leave us in conflict.
Nature Girl - Admiring, "Today's another day; ready to get back to it!" That's the path.
Leonor - Waving back. I also admire the idea of not beating oneself up - tried that many times and it wasn't helpful.
Pecola123 - Yep, I'm in your club of wrestling with remaining OP for dessert; Kudos for recognizing that you have to do that. And Kudos for staying the course with, "Ate sitting, slowly, savoring."
Readers -
Quote:
day 37 Reduce Stress
To relax your rules for other people, do the following:
. . .
Think about someone you admire who has more relaxed ideas about how others should be. What rules does he or she have?
Tuesday
Not a single numbing shot or chemical was used...the stitches came out without a problem and he didn't even have to numb me to take out the temporary filling...didn't feel it a bit. Yay, lol.
I also try to think only positive thoughts when I turn out the light to fall asleep. I find I fall to sleep more quickly that way.
