Life here is good...for the most part. I have allowed myself to postpone some serious planning for our camping trip till the last minute. But I am aware of the stress I caused myself and I will not turn to food! I leave for camping in one week, and I am meal planning, shopping and cooking for everyone----which means about 60 people. Now I have done this for 4 years now, so I pretty much have it down, BUT I still have yet to make my grocery list. $1000 of groceries takes a little bit of planning....so silly of me to put this off!
The other thing I realized is that at my job I work twice as hard before AND after I get back from vacation, so actually is it a vacation from work? hmmm
Sounds like everyone is doing great for the most part, keep up the credits, give yourself a pat on the back, and take time to enjoy the life around you
hey everyone. i'm going to be quick b/c of my shame.
have not worked out all week. got much work done at the office though.
have mostly eaten correctly and on plan.
ate dinner out last night. my first meal out in over 4 weeks. yikes. had a small salad w/ vinaigrette dressing, no croutons, no bread. ate seafood skewers with veggies and spaghetti squash.
i guess i'm retaining water b/c weight is up today or it could be the 4 drinks i had. yes 4 drinks. today I am tired and bleh from them. what was i thinking? well, to make matters worse I have a wine bar date w/ my friend tonight and a happy hour plus dinner tomorrow. my goal is to make every other drink a sparkling water and to watch what I eat.
i promise to get back on the workouts next week. i'm not falling off the wagon, just dangling my legs for a moment. okay, i need a good yelling at me.
why the drinks? b/c my ex-husband drives me nuts!!!! he literally broke my front door last night. yay. cuckoo man. now I need a whole new front door and someone to put it in.
i promise i am not a drama queen. we are still in the I hate you phase. so awful. this too must pass.
i'm sure my new skinnier self is making him mad too. just kidding.
Again, thank you so much for the welcome. It may seem like a small thing, but I truly appreciate it!
Lexxiss: what is a "believe it" chart?
I am encouraged by reading as many of the posts as I can. It helps to know I'm not alone in this and I learn a lot too.
Well, even though I'm not to the "eating on plan" part of Beck, I thought I would try it just to see how I'd do. Wow! What a great thing to be able to say to myself "I'm not going to have that because it's not on my plan, maybe I'll have it tomorrow". Feels freeing to me.
2.5 days of eating on plan
saying no to food not on my plan
exercising as planned
awareness of my "need" for food, when I'm not hungry
sitting down to eat most of the time
Today I was super rushed and had a smoothie prepared for breakfast. I grabbed it and headed out the door, drinking it in the car. I realized that I wasn't focused on my food, so I put the smoothie aside, drove to my destination and sat in the car to drink it. Not ideal, but an improvement over sucking it down while driving. Credit!
My in-laws are coming in to town today, which is major fuel for emotional eating. My plan is to read my Response Cards throughout the day and post here.
WI: 164.4 (Day 1 of TOM)
So, I guess not much has happened in the past couple days because I am not thinking of anything to report
Hope everyone is doing well
Exercise, spin class
At on plan
Spontaneous exercise: walked to a friends to pick stuff up instead of driving
MorganleFey: Sorry about the boring job. Sometimes I think boring sounds so nice, but I know that truly I would not like it either. Hope the networking event went well
Onebyone: A spontaneous dip in the lake sounds so lovely. You motivated me to get to my closets and dresser drawers. I have been thinking, I will just wait until I am down a size then I can purge a whole lot more stuff. Well, I already have a huge garbaqe bag of clothes to give away. It will be easier to do when I am down a size. I still have quite a bit to go. But, on my way
Lexxis: Good job and big credit on splitting the omelet. You have done so well. I think that posting here did help me not drink the wine, mostly because of the distraction which greatly reduced the craving. The other aspect was that I didn't want to have to tell everyone I had failed
AmberPR: Congratulations on the weight going back down. I cannot wait to hit Onederland. Last time I hit 199, I quit being on plan and went back up! Not sure why that happened. I feel I am learning not to let this happen again. But, I am the true definition of yoyo dieter. I have gained and lost the same 15 lbs 5 times in 6 years! UUGGH
BillBlueeyes: Gazpacho on the patio sounds so nice. So do the tomatoes.
Is the public garden like a pea patch? I have never heard of that.
Garderjoy: Congratulations on getting to drivers license weight! It will be a while for me and I used a higher number on my most recent drivers license than I usually do. I usually put goal weight thinking maybe manifest destiny will occur. You are there!
New2me2: i previously did WW and really like the program. I use a lot of the principals in my calorie counting. So, why are those weigh ins so stressful? Good luck!
MikkiJoe: I cannot imagine buying all those groceries, planning and cooking all of that. Your family is so lucky you are doing it. I know what you mean about double work before and after vacation. Never thought of it as meaning, no vacation though. I will try not to think of that
Future fit chick: Hello, I love reading your ARC's
Houston2command: Hey, you are at least posting. I am trying to really commit to posting. I am usually all or nothing. So, my goal is to post through good and bad. I think it says a lot that you are posting. Also, doesn't sound like you are eating too bad.
Madrikh: congratulations on recognizing that you weren't focused on food. I think the small realizations of behavior are a lot of what make this Beck process work.
Have a great weekend.
I think I FINALLY got my tracker. Will see when this posts
AmberPR, tonight anytime after dark for the Perseid Meteor Showers..that is if you aren't in the monsoon path. Another round of torrential rain..I have lost track of how many times I have had water in my basement. Am thinking I should go into the bait business and raise minnows down there. Based on the forecast, I pulled up a lounge chair last night and got a great preview. It was the perfect night for star gazing. Just perfect, and there were some extraordinary shooting stars. It's clear right now, so still hopeful that I will get some good viewing.
Have to say it has been a great summer overall.
Am plunging into the green book...will highlight all the wisdom there..still missin' my *pink book..*mumble, mumble.
Headed out for dancing tonight to a GREAT band, and only 10 mi. away. New owner to a local pub, and man, has he got music connections. Have 3 nights of great bands/dancing ..and all venues within 10 miles. Life is good.
My big surprise last weekend was a bucket list event..now, mind you, I have *nothing on my bucket list that even *resembles sky-diving. And it seems much of the *must do list for DBF and me is food! hmmmm....see a reason here for weight gain? He did outdo himself last weekend, though. He asked me to hold Aug. 6 for something ...a surprise. I got one guess per day and got it narrowed down to a male comedian, over 50. Well, there is only one comedian that I really, really would be excited to travel to Podunkville, South Dakota to see, and I didn't think he was touring. I could not guess..got all the way to the venue-- the couple with us distracted me so I missed the marquis...just as we were going around the block, I SAW it!!!
Gallagher. The great philosopher, Gallagher. I mean, "Everywhere you leak the world hangs a bucket." Now, *that is deep!!!
So, there I was in the 5th row, behind the plastic, thinking, never did I think I would be in the watermelon section for Gallagher. Great fun. He is not 30 years older, he is 30 yrs better. 2 and 1/2 hours and he just got funnier.
I run my marathon on Sunday. I'm totally excited and terrified all at the same time. I guess all of life's great experiences are that way. My running is cut way back this week so I can run on fresh legs on Sunday. It's in my plan, but I'm feeling pretty lazy. I'm still keeping active on my non-running days, but have to keep it light if I'm going to pull 26.2 off on Sun. The good news is that eating has been pretty easy since I cut my mileage back. It's funny how that extra mileage put my appetite into overdrive.
Just a few personals today.
Beverlyjoy, ouch for the rash and the staff. Hope you are feeling better soon.
Seedwaters, hugs for missing Bonnie. It's so hard to lose our four legged family members.
Gardenerjoy, congrats on another mini-goal. Your record of goals met is really impressive.
Lexxiss, kudos for finding some constructive ways to deal with all the personal turmoil.
BillBE, savor those dinners on the patio enjoying summer's fresh bounty. Summer doesn't last long enough!
Maryblu, Gallagher sounds like a blast. Enjoy the meteor shower.
Quick check in to report that I actually stayed on plan for 3 nights in the hotel, meaning 4 days away from home. YAY YAY YAY.
I ate healthy, I avoided junk, and I messed up eating only once (it was a cinnamon bun and I did not react except to say oh well, carry on, no more of that.) I walked the treadmill at the hotel each night and took my arm weights and did those. I read my cards.
I cannot be happier about this. I am planning on a weekend of more of the same. Was not able to weigh at the hotel so tomorrow I am really hoping the scale moved a bit this week, we'll see.
Have 3 days of working at home (Friday plus weekend) so no travelling and time to regroup. My other "fur babies" (thanks Mikkijoe) are adjusting to the loss of Bonnie. They didn't like having competition for my time but they seem to miss her.
Thursday was a bit off plan as was Wednesday - I didn't log food as I went as well because some of it was not planned or appropriate. When things get derailed they stay derailed until I get serious again. I am trying to get serious today.
I worked in Jakarta for a year or so and currently have a doctoral student from there. Wednesday was the start of Ramadan and I met with this student for an adviser meeting and had coffee and an unplanned cake! I found it fascinating during Ramadan while I was in Jakarta that people fasted all day for 31 days. They got up incredibly early to break their fast before work and didn't even take water during the day. Of course it never crossed my mind that I might fast as well - but organising food was interesting. I was on of the very few non-Muslims and the only non-Indonesian around. What a way to take a disciplined approach to food - and I found one day of "fasting" - of missing lunch - really difficult. I will have to remember Ramadan.
Alma (Alma4343) - Waiting as I read to see if you "avoided" getting a glass of wine... YAY you resisted it and lost lots of weight as well AmberPr - Like your planning for travelling - it gives me ideas. BeverlyJoy - I am so glad that the staph infection has cleared - and ouch for the allergic rash! Hope it clears up soon BillBlueEyes - Your shopping list reads like healthy summer - and all those tomatoes. Not hard to be healthy with food like that. I have decided not to tell my sister about Bonnie until she comes back - hope it is the right choice CeeJay - You are doing so well - it is great to read it. Have a successful weekend Debbie (Lexxiss) - Thanks for you thoughts about Bonnie. I did enjoy looking after her and seeing her happy. Glad you got some quality rest. Thank you for your post of yesterday - it was useful to read about emotional eating and how to avoid it. Ouch for situations we can't change - sending supportive thoughts to help you accept what you need to and move on
Donna (new2me2) - great to have friends who can cook gluten free - a bit of a blessing if you can count it in to your plan Futurefitchick - Waving - hope you are good Gardenerjoy - Glad you had a good vacation and YAY for a new low even with what you call bad choices Houston2Command - Great to see your progress, both inches and pounds. Ouch for difficult relationships that end with difficulty - as you say this will pass so hang in there. Consider that the group have given you the good yelling at you need and then supportive hugs to move on Madrikh - Good response to mindless eating (well smoothie drinking). It starts with small steps Mikkijoe - Good luck with planning and shopping for a monster camping trip - I am so impressed that you can cater for 60 people. And you are already anticipating how to manage your own eating which is great MorganleFay - Sorry to hear your job is getting you down - hope it improves soon Newbebop - You make a good case for walking on the street rather than the treadmill. I do a lot of that bargaining with myself on the stationary bike - not sure I could negotiate hills yet though Onebyone - What a lovely post to read - Huge credit for going about in shorts and bathers just like a person has a right to do. It sounds like it was so freeing. And stopping on the way home to keep the fun going. It was a great vacation Shepherdess - Glad you are enjoying being back home and on plan. I keep hearing about spaghetti squash but never find them in Australia. I will hound the people at the farmer's market to see if anyone will plant some. (My yard is not suitable). I am excited for you in the marathon and look forward to hearing about it Synger - Glad you are getting to go camping this weekend - and Happy Birthday! Yay for controlled dessert eating
- I motivated myself by reading A&R cards - No
- Consciously gave credit for positive eating / exercise behaviours - Yes
- Limit junk food to once per day - No
- Made food plan - Yes
- Logged food soon after eating - No
- Food on-plan - No
- Ate seated every time - Yes
- Ate mindfully & slowly & put down fork occasionally - 50%
- Weighed myself - Yes - up 1 pound
- Exercise - no
Weighed in this a.m. and I was down again another pound, one more pound and I'll be back to where I was a week and a half ago - Crazy fluctuations.
Did pretty well today, one slip, but I was able to modify the rest of the day to compensate for it. Also a little short-tempered again. Makes me feel like an idiot when I let myself react to every dumb thing - must be like reacting to the cake on the plate….hmm...maybe I can "plan" my outbursts… 9 a.m., be ready for action!
BillBE: Yeah, I don't think I'm a gazpacho fan.. Although I've never tried it. I know I don't care for V8 and I guess that's what I figure it tastes like.
Lexxiss: It's funny how the freezer works. I've got muffins and cookie dough in there and I'm just not as tempted as when they are in the fridge or on the counter.
Gardenerjoy: Yeah for hitting a goal!!
New2me2: Hope your weigh-in goes great!
Mikkijoe: No kidding, my work is still my work - I feel your pain. This year, when you make your plan, keep it. Then most of the planning will be done for next year.
Houston: I hope it is making him mad! I see no reason not to enjoy that just a little bit.
Madrikh: Way to stay mindful!
Alma: Yep. It sure is frustrating when the scale goes up, but I am feeling like I'm understanding more how to get it to go down with every new attempt. Seems like I need a new trick every 6 months or so and that just adds to my arsenal. We're gonna do it this time!
Maryblu: I'm going to go see what I can see after I post. Someone told me it wasn't going to start until about 1 a.m., but now I'm more hopeful.
Wow, that has to be a heck of a fun show. Being sprayed by watermelon is certainly bucket-list worthy!
Shepherdess: I can't imagine running 26 miles. That is amazing.
CeeJay: Way to Go! You've mastered the traveling trick!
Seadwaters: Ya know, I've heard the word "Ramadan" but I never really knew what it was.
Goal #1: 193 by September 30 (199/193/193) - achieved 9-30-10
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Was part of a group luncheon at a nice restaurant to celebrate completion of a year's activity. Ordered baked haddock over Mediterranean veggies, CREDIT moi, and skipped the decadent desserts being pushed. Who needs dessert after lunch? When I got back to my office, I had some raw carrots because I missed having my man salad with lunch. Yay for raw veggies. The tomato salad with dinner was the best of the year. Our yellow cherry tomatoes are sweeter than candy; Whooping Yay for summer plenty.
maryblu - Just WOW on you seeing Gallagher in person - behind the plastic no less. LMAO at "Everywhere you leak the world hangs a bucket." Now, *that is deep!!! That makes my day.
FutureFitChick - Waving back. Hope studies are going well.
CeeJay - Honking Kudos for getting it all right during a four day hotel trip: eating, weights, treadmill, and recovery for an evil cinnamon bun. "I cannot be happier about this" is well deserved.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Yay for the first tomatoes. And Congrats on reaching your drivers license weight.
Shepherdess - It's exciting to think of you running a whole marathon on Sunday; will keep my fingers crossed all day for you. By the by, I'm not accepting references to summer being finite. Denial rules!
Cheryl (Seadwaters) - Such an interesting situation being non-Muslin in Jakarta during Ramadan. My take is that it's pretty thoughtful of you to wait until your sister returns to tell her about Bonnie.
Debbie (Lexxiss) - LOL at not wishing to throw away tempting food; Yep, freezing is a great alternative. I bet if you drop by, my DW's gazpacho will make you a believer.
Donna (new2me2) - Can't be anything better than on-plan chocolate. What kind do you do?
Houston2Command - Your restaurant food is one fine order; Kudos. Wishing you the best for wrestling with the drinks, since they do contribute to poor choices. Sending supportive thoughts as you pass through the "I hate you phase" - so smart to think of it as a phase so you remain open to allowing yourself to feel calm in the future.
Amber (AmberPr) - Kudos for the rapid recovery from a slip. LOL at planning your outbursts. You need to post your plan so your colleagues can duck in advance.
Mikkijoe - "Life here is good" just makes my day - lovely thought. The thought of buying $1000 worth of groceries overwhelms me, even though I've bought millions of dollars of computers; that's a lot of groceries.
Alma (Alma4343) - LOL at the thought of nothing happening for a few days; BTDT. Yep, our community garden is the same as the Seattle-only name "P-Patch" (according to Wicki, where 'P' originally stood for Picardo - Yay for Wiki).
Marci (madrikh) - Kudos for being aware that you were about to drink your smoothie while driving; And Kudos again for responding to that. Do you do the same smoothie every day?
day 34 Solve Problems
Identify the Problem
Once you've defined the problem, be sure to identify the negative thoughts running through your mind. Then use the Seven Question Technique to respond to your negative thoughts. Think about the following that you learned on Day 27 (pages 199-203):
. . . 5. What is the effect of my believing this negative thought, and what could be the effect of changing my thinking? 6. What would I tell my friend if she were in this situation and had this same kind of thought? 7. What should I do now?
The Beck Diet Solution, pg 232.
New Journey: 10 years
In maintenance phase: 8 years and 6 months
Following Dr. Judith Beck via 3FC's Beck Diet Solution Forum: 8 years
quick post this morning. Stuck today now that I have reached day14/15. I have now realized on plan means specifically what you have written down to eat for the day, not just anything allowable by the eating plan you have chosen to follow. I don't even always know what I am making for family dinner till after 3pm or later. This part is a little intimidating and will take some work. It will be good for me and our busy schedules if I can get this idea put to action. Is everyone pretty specific in what they write as a plan, day by day. Are there times you can be more broad, say if eating out or at someones house?
Side note on the hunger experience. I think I could not eat all day if I was busy enough. I may not have taken enough pauses to sit and analyze how my body was feeling. But I know there were a few times when I said, how can I not be hungry when I based it on time since i ate last. I did notice the hunger when i stopped at the grocery store. (I know, what was I thinking) But this time it was conscious hunger and didn't effect the shopping, (thank goodness I was only in for a couple of things and not my big wandering trip.) I did notice though after eating my dinner. I "felt" like I was still hungry. I fought off the munchies pretty well, although I believe a late night apple was involved. ;-)
credit: official weigh-in 275.4 credit: solidly maintaining a 10+lb loss credit: made a decision to focus my effort on losing 10% of my weight only & changed my ticker to reflect this
I got a last minute appt with my dr. yesterday afternoon. I've grown a bump, the size of a dime, on my forehead above my left eyebrow, but hiddden by my bangs thank goodness . It's reddish and sometimes sore/itchy like when you scratch a mosquito bite too much. So he saw it and said "I'm going to need some help on this one." There are 3 dermatologists in our city of 1 million+. When I had my checkup I requested an appt with the dermatologist (pre-bump) so I have one on Feb 3, 2011. The dr. is going to try to pull a few strings to get me in to see someone else sooner if he can but I caught him pre-vacation so I'm not expecting to see anyone anytime soon. I may bug the dr. I have the appt with to let them know I'll take any cancellations they have.
He did say that the rapid growth of it does not indicate that it is a cancer so that's good. I, personally, do not feel it is a cancer either. It's some weird thing that is a physical manifestation of the extreme stress I've been under lately and especially that week when I got it. 4 physical things broke down and gave me grief that week. (I was organizing an art-in-the-park event for 60 artists on top of a mother with alzheimer's who had a bad week, a part-time job I was neglecting, plus suffering through the absolute worst selling season at the farmers' markets I sell my artwork at that I have ever had in 19 years of making and selling things, plus just still not knowing if/when or where we may be moving to which makes me procrastinate MORE about clearing out this place not less.) None of these factors have changed, except that the art event has come and gone. We learned that if we do it next year the word VOLUNTEER will be key for us.
So I went in and had my checkup and I got bloodwork done and this, Becksters, is the good part My bloodwork came back perfect. None of my fears manifested: no borderline diabetes, no high cholesterol, no kidney/liver/thyroid problems. Nothing. No heart trouble due to the stress test I did and the ECG I took. Nothing.
IT'S JUST MY WEIGHT.
This is such good news to me. I can do something about it. I need to bring the bp down and that means bringing the weight down. Bringing the weight down eases the stress on the joints and the organs of my body and that will relieve my other body symptoms. Losing weight=feeling better emotionally and so my stress level will drop. I even have fun way to start moving my body as DH got Dance Dance Revolution 1, 2 & 3 for the wii for his birthday from his DB. They have some really good songs to dance to. I need only clean the space by the tv, on the floor around it; get rid of the rug there, throw out boxes of magazines, sort/put away art stuff. That's it. But for today it has to wait as I have to take care of business for me by getting my artwork done for the Garlic Festival weekend I have ahead of me. I am working on 4 garlic themed paintings plus 2 more extra large canvases. Everything must be done by our opening tomorrow at 8am. No time for cleaning just yet. This is my second last art event with the last one over Labour Day weekend.
But that's another post.
Anyway, all that to say that inspite of stumping my Dr. with my new bump, I came away from that visit very hopeful. I just have to follow through with my plans. That's where youn guys and Dr. Beck come in.
TGIF Becksters. Have a good Friday.
__________________ **** 5lbs at a time. one * for every pound lost. RESTART:19/1/2015 - 284.8lbs
Credit to me for a mostly on-plan day even with a meal out and for getting back to exercise in spite of a bit of lethargy leftover from my trip.
WI: +0.3kg, Exercise: +70 665/1800 minutes for August, Food: 70%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: no
new2me2: Love your Give Yourself Credit post-it and that you're sharing Beck ideas with it!
Mikkijoe: yeah, I hate that aspect of vacation, that it puts so much stress on the days before and after. I hope yours is relaxing and rejuvenating enough to justify it.
FutureFitChick: Thanks! How are you doing?
Houston2Command: keep in mind that your restaurant meal probably had more sodium than you were used to and would contribute to a temporary gain. Hope you find your way to a healthy way of dealing with the alcohol. BTDT with the "I hate you phase" -- no fun at all there.
madrikh: yay for recognizing the liberation inherent in having a plan! That's a big deal for me.
Alma4343: yay for days seeming ordinary that include credits for exercising and staying on plan. Congrats on your tracker!
maryblu: sounds like a wonderful surprise and show!
Shepherdess: good luck with your marathon -- that is very exciting!
CeeJay: great job following your plan during your hotel time! Way to go!
seadwaters: thinking of you and your family (including the furry members) as you adjust to Bonnie's absence.
AmberPr: yay for another pound gone!
BillBlueEyes: great choices for the restaurant meal!
newbebop: good job with the hunger experiment! I planned my meals as Beck says for the first several months of this journey and it was very helpful. I was quite specific for most things. If I know I'm going to a restaurant, I check the menu on-line and choose my order ahead of time. For more spontaneous restaurant meals, I've pre-selected what I will order at our favorite restaurants and I simply swap out my written plan for lunch for the pre-selected meal at that restaurant. For things like potluck meals, I wrote on my plan "Eat lots of veggies. Take only small portions of everything else." It is a plan and I follow it!
onebyone: yay for the healthy bloodwork! Getting off bp medication has been the most motivating of my reasons to lose weight. I put a card on top of my pill case that says "I want to lose weight to get off my blood pressure medication." I remember that advantage first because I read it the most often. Hope the mysterious bump goes away as quickly as it came!