I've been off-focus. Not crazy town, but not on the "weight loss" warpath either. Trying out this idea I have of maintaining my weight for the summer.
It's been more challenging than I'd hoped. I had far too much fruit for several weeks, my weight inched up and up. Hunger has been much more of a problem than when I eat truly low carb. Too much dairy too.
And no tracking, which is probably the biggest mistake of all.
I've also been weighing only intermittently, which is fine, but also contributes to the lack of focus, or is a sign of the lack of focus, chicken or egg, as you wish...
Scale yesterday freaked me out though, as the weight was up considerably above what I consider my upper limit of 190 (it was 194).
And I'm worried about heading to the States for a month in a bad mental place about my weight (which in the past has just led to "what the ****" eating and made a bad situation far, FAR worse).
So back to focus and strict low carb for a few days here, hoping to knock off a few pounds and couldn't care less if it's water or fat, just want that scale to be under 189 come Sunday when we fly.
I will not be anywhere near my goal for this challenge, but as long as I manage to keep my head in the gain and not regain this summer I'll consider it a success!
(Have been very preoccupied with finishing my first book which is due to the publisher this week, which is the major reason for my absence and for dropping focus on weight loss these past few weeks).
*hugs* to Sarah! I understand deadlines can cause things to slip. Get back to it. But even IF you are not below 189 before Sunday when you fly out DO NOT let things go to heck for the summer because you aren't exactly where you want to be. That is just how you get REALLY far from where you want to be.
If you want to focus on maintenance for the summer go for it, but don't do it by not tracking. Pick tracking goals, be it calories, or carbs, and/or daily/weekly limits for fruit and dairy. Then track them. Many of us got heavy because we are not good at self limiting without tracking. It looks like without tracking you move backwards so you are not necessarily ready to go there yet. I know, personally, I will ALWAYS have to track my food or risk regain. I want you to be able to enjoy your holiday but not come back regretting it too If it gets hard, get your butt on here for encouragement!
What do you write, and to what part of the states are you going? I think you've told us before but I can't remember!
My friend's birthday was last night, we went to get mexican food. I fully intended to get fajitas and stick to plan, then my friend was RAVING about their enchiladas. OH WELL, back to it today. Since it was one meal (and 2 Ferrero Rocher's because I knew I was already out of ketosis from the food) hopefully I can get back into ketosis in a day or two and the carb flu won't be too bad. Today is supposed to be a trainer day so that will help burn a good chunk off, as long as he doesn't cancel!
I'm glad you are still in it ali! I know it is hard to post on phones. I was just getting worried I was talking to myself :P The 4th is still 8 days away so you have time to whoosh off shark week bloat. Just stay on track!!!
Well, it's a safe bet to call my participation in this challenge a failure.
But I'm not beating myself up too much, after all I'm still here, still engaged, and the damage is about fifteen pounds (that's how much I'm up from my lowest during the challenge). It sucks, but I've done so much worse so many times before. So many times I've hit this point of regain, being so very disappointed in myself, considering myself a "failure" and just given in, and made the situation so much worse.
In fact, much more than a goal weight my goals are around "staying engaged" in managing my weight long term. And over the past several weeks of struggle I've been so tempted to say I've "failed" and reset my counter. But in fact even when I've had a bad day, or a string of bad days, I have never completely checked out, never completely given up, and so even though I am deeply uncomfortable (because I am a perfectionist) I am counting this struggle and upswing period as still being engaged. As of today, I've been at this for 284 days (this time... I've been at this for 45 years overall!)
Ok, so here are the numbers
My major commitments :
- weigh in daily (I already do this)
- step count over 10,000 at least 1 day a week
- count calories/carbs at least 2 days a week
- no dairy other than grass fed butter
SW : 189.0
CW : 193.6 (+4.6 wrong direction)
GW : 179.0 (and this will put me out of OBESE & merely "Overweight" per BMI
Daily weights :
186.8 Apr 22
188.2 Apr 23
188.4 Apr 24
186.8 Apr 25
186.2 Apr 26
185.4 Apr 27 (lowest weight since my wedding in 2007)
185.8 Apr 28
185.0 Apr 29
185.6 Apr 30
186.4 May 1
185.4 May 2
187.2 May 3
187.2 May 4
185.4 May 5
186.0 May 6
186.2 May 7
187.0 May 8
DNW May 9 - Bilbao
187.8 May 10 - Bilbao
188.4 May 11 - Bilbao & pizza
188.8 May 12 - back on track
189.2 May 13
187.4 May 14
186.6 May 15
188.2 May 16
189.0 May 17
187.0 May 18
187.4 May 19 --> Began tight refocus effort (careful food journal, etc)
187.4 May 20
187.0 May 21
187.8 May 22
185.8 May 23
185.2 May 24 (fat fast)
183.4 May 25 (fat fast)
181.4 May 26 (back to regular low carb)
183.0 May 27
185.4 May 28
184.4 May 29
181.8 May 30 (Loire valley)
184.4 May 31 travel scale 182.4 (Loire valley)
185.6 June 1 travel scale 183.6 (Loire valley)
188.2 June 2 back on track
188.0 June 3
185.2 June 4
DNW June 5
186.0 June 6 - friend visiting, diet goes haywire again
DNW June 7
190.4 June 8
DNW June 9 - friend leaves, still haywire
188.6 June 10 - back on track
189.2 June 11
DNW June 12
DNW June 13 - back off track
DNW June 14
DNW June 15
191.2 June 16 - way too much fruit but otherwise back on track
191.2 June 17
191.6 June 18
193.2 June 19
192.6 June 20
190.0 June 21 - lunch @ nice restaurant & fell off track again
191.6 June 22
194.0 June 23
194.0 June 24 - good low carb day, and back on track
193.8 June 25
193.6 June 26
193.6 June 27 - ah, finally a string of good days all together - now, to add a weekend to that!
Right now I'm wondering if I can focus on keeping the June "gain" number as small as possible.
Also I am seeing the deviation I did for our weekend in Bilbao in a different light - it was the first of many steps off the path, and they've become progressively harder to recover from, and more frequent to boot.
I'm hoping I can take the period of this challenge as a real learning of how I'll need to approach such things in the future.
Pixi... I am still here.. just was too embarassed to post... I lost my way AGAIN.. seems to happen every 6 weeks or so.. sigh.. But I see you in the 220s again! may it be the top weight for you and only a downward journey!
Sarah... I got the gumption to post after I read your posts. I so wanted to fade away into the sunset and just give into my demons and quit this weight loss thing.. I know that I am not alone with this ordeal.. and I hope that your way back is paved with Gold Bricks of good days! I am hoping too and I know just posting and coming clean is the 1st step back to Control!
sigh.. Last weekend I was 216.8... today I am 223 (was up to 225 sigh) Pizza Saturday night started the whole thing... they are having pizza for lunch for the birthdays and want me to join and I have already told them No Thank you! I have my Meat/Cheese roll ups and will enjoy those.. tho a free lunch on the company.. ...... sigh.... hard to pass up .... but I WILL! I WILL I WILL!!!
Sue- I would go and eat the cheese and toppings but leave the crust, you still get the taste of pizza, and free lunch off the company, but your carbs stay reasonable. It is kinda hard to track for calories though. Get your butt back in gear and you may still make your 4th goal, much of that is likely water weight.
Sarah- I fully agree that staying in the headspace is a huge part of the battle. Looking back over you numbers it looks like when you go on holiday or friends come to visit you use it as an excuse to eat off plan. I understand the impulse 100% but you seem to be struggling to get back on track after. If it was once or twice a year it wouldn't be too bad, but here it was 3 times in 2 months. Can you plan ahead better? There are usually so many things that can be adapted to keto on restaurant menus if you ask for small changes. And everything else will be there to eat later. I remind myself of that a lot, yes the fries are delicious, but I can always find fries later. etc. Maybe pick 1 or 2 big events a year you want to go off track for and plan how much or little leeway you want to give yourself. IDK just some ideas
And you aren't 15lbs up, you are 12. So much of that could be water weight just waiting for you to get a nice streak going.
Both of you at least keep posting, we are here to support each other and we can't encourage you if you run away and hide!
Well I had gone up to 271 from the bad weekend and Tuesday I got back on track and knowing most of it was water weight I did not step n the scale until this morning and I am back down to 264.6, yay... tough thing is I have a date night sat for rocky horror interactive at a bar / lounge that makes amazing bacon and cheese fries.... I guess I could just eat the toppings and leave the fries for my date lol... anyway have a great weekend ill weigh back in on Monday!!
Yes, actually I think part of the problem of my 3 bad weekends was that I do usually do just fine in one planned weekend or day off track and then getting back on track immediately. I did fine with that at Christmas, and actually if you look at the numbers I did manage that after my trip to Bilbao which had been carefully planned for.
I don't usually give in to the travel or visitors as an excuse - not listed here are the many times I DIDN'T give in. I suspect some of the reason I repeatedly caved in is just fatigue of dieting, another is probably a good amount of sabotage - I am more "visible" at the low 180s than I am in the 190s - I know that from weight loss many years ago, in the 180s I got asked out, in the 190s I could hide. I feel as obese at 190 as I do at 235 too. So getting close to my first goal of 179 (I got to 182) I was getting a lot of comments about my weight loss suddenly and I think that freaked me out more than I wanted to admit.
I think I really need to work on understanding this, because I do not feel good about myself or my health at my current weight (even though I know it's a good deal better for me than my weight a year ago). So I still want to lose more weight, and that means I'll be needing to stare down that fear, address it, and either live with the fear or get over it somehow.
Anyway, I do plan to stay checked in long-term, including staying accountable here.
Sue - so glad my slip ups could help - I am glad my finding the courage to share the gory details helped you claw yourself back too... We will do this.