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Everyone had a look of horror as I poured a lot of butter on my shrimp

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Old 09-12-2013, 09:42 PM   #16
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I thought long and hard about responding to Kaplods' comments about the surgery forum, and decided to jump in with a few points. I might delete it, though, so please don't be offended if it disappears.

People who have had surgery or who are considering it are either figuring out how to live with it, or are wondering if they CAN live with it. It's permanent. We can't change plans once we have the surgery.

Those who have chosen this route have tried EVERYTHING and have decided to look into it because they are desperate. We DO NOT advocate surgery for everyone, and we flatly state that it's not for everyone. We're not 'rah rah, surgery is the answer' by any means.

However, we have lost many members because people who aren't considering surgery [would never do so, think it's irresponsible, surgery is for the lazy, and so on] post the same comments that we've heard from everyone else: 'just try XXX because it's worked for me.' 'if only you'd xxxxx.' 'i've lost a zillion pounds on my first diet using xxxxx.' [and i wait for those folks to regain - the first round of weight loss works the best].

The other issue is that many people who aren't considering it ask - often - 'why did you do it.' And then DEBATE the responses. And then often say something like 'you just dieted wrong.'

And that brings more tears - and PMs. and more lost members.

ALL of us who've had surgery have known people who've had complications, or have passed away. One of our members was in a coma for 6 months after her surgery, another spent 3 months in the hospital because of complications.

We know it's serious business. And more important, we know that everyone has to find the path that works FOR THEM. Kaplods has worked long and hard, and has found her path to success [and very impressive]. for some of us, it's calorie counting. for others, low carb. low fat. whatever works is the RIGHT way for you - and that's what matters.

The hardest part of the surgery, though, is the head changes that have to happen. And that's why I occasionally appear in other parts of 3FC. it's HARD. REALLY HARD. but ya'll knew that already.

i hope this helps explain why the surgery forum is a little more sensitive than perhaps other areas are. if you have any questions, please PM me - i don't want to hijack this thread any more than i already have.

thanks!
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Old 09-12-2013, 11:11 PM   #17
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I understand your desire to clarify the general perspective of the majority of members in the wls forums. However, I do not see the wls forum as being any more or less sensitive than any of the other forums in regards to members defending personal choices or criticizing others for making different choices. Nor are the wls forums entirely free of members of the opinion that wls is the answer for nearly everyone of a certain size.

EVERY plan forum has it's share of members who think and post that their path is the ONLY plan for at least some people. In none of the examples I gave did I imply that the thoughts were characteristic of everyone in a forum or thread - just that those thoughts, feelings, and statements belonged in the plan threads.

I was saying that in the wls threads (as in the all other specific plan threads) it's an entirely appropriate forum in which people who wish to are free to advocate and even "push" the "team" plan and criticize the shortcomings of other plans. Likewise, criticisms of the "plan" should be reserved for plan followers. WLS "bashing" in the wls threads should never come from someone who hasn't had wls.

But this is no different than any of the other plan-specific threads. My point was not about what the average person on each team believes, but the range of opinions that are acceptable in the team clubhouses. Basically my point was that any opinion from a club member is (for example those who've had or are planning to have wls in the wls forum) but "outsiders" need to be more respectful and should avoid controversy.

This as true for every other plan-specific thread/forum. If you're a plan follower, you have more leeway in speaking your mind in your plan-specific threads than if you're a visitor.

Nothing I posted should be construed as an indictment or criticism of any plan or any of the examples I gave as characteristic of any group.

I didn't mean that "surgery is the only way to go" was a typical statement in the wls forum, only that IF someone who had wls felt that way, the wls forums would be an appropriate place for the sentiment to be written. Also any "correcting" or criticisms directed at such a post shouldn't be given by someone who hasn't had or is about to have wls.

Again, the same would be true for every single plan-specific forum/thread.

All I'm really saying is "Respect the clubhouse" especially if you're a visitor, not a (figuratively) card-carrying member.
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Old 09-13-2013, 10:22 AM   #18
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You write so well kaplods!!

And that was all I was doing when I originally started this post. I agree that outsiders that post or respond in plan specific forums need to be respectful. I do not post or comment in the calorie counting or weight watchers forum because I am not following those plans and feel I cannot understand or contribute in any way.

I do not think that Atkins is the end all and be all of weight loss. It just works for ME and seems to be the only plan that I feel GOOD on after trying several others. I do get irritated with the misconceptions and bashing of the Atkins way of life and that's why I do not talk about my food choices at work anymore as the majority are calorie counting and do not understand Atkins.

Everyone posting in their own plan specific forum should be comfortable posting whatever they want about the plan and should feel free to talk negatively about other plans that did not work for them if they wish. It is not attacking a specific person, it is criticizing a way of eating.

I think it's time to end this post as it was not meant to go this direction
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Old 09-13-2013, 11:40 AM   #19
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It's important not to let a message board (or a coworker or a family member..etc) get to you. The original poster is excited because Atkins is working for her. As Jiffy said, people in the WLS section have a different perspective on that, and on and on. It's important not to take this exuberance as an indictment of any plan that you're on. At the end of the day, most if not all of us, are cheering for everyone here, no matter what plan they're on.

The flip side is that if you think a particular diet, or the WLS route, or even the stated plans of a certain member won't work, are too radical or just a bunch of bs, you don't have to voice that. For one thing, you may be wrong. I think the administrators do a pretty good job of weeding out the whackier diets. Secondly, you're not going to help by discouraging anyone. The best way to encourage good health, through any plan, is to lead by example.
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