100 lb. Club - After you lose a LOT of weight.....

12-16-2006, 01:46 AM

12-16-2006, 01:55 AM
My problem is that I am turning into a 'normal' 22 year old girl and I find myself constantly criticizing my body and saying how fat I am. And I am serious, I do not say this for compliments from my friends and family. I really feel more like a big (insert unflattering word here) now.

I am more focused on losing the weight now then I was 100lbs ago.

I seem to have oddly enough, the exact opposite problem.

Goddess Jessica
12-16-2006, 02:25 AM

I think this is a serious issue because when we become hypercritical, we're more likely to give up because we're not worth it. It's harder for you because people don't know how you've struggled to get where you are because you are no longer fat! But in your mind, you're still a fat girl. Perplexing, yes? :)

I want you to make a conscious effort to remember that you're worth it! Critizing yourself, hating yourself, picking on yourself is not going to keep you thin, so CUT IT OUT. Be proud of how far you've come. Next time you think about something negative, make a conscious effort to think of something positive.


12-16-2006, 02:50 AM
Pookie, I had the same problem about 5 years ago. I went from 299 to 166 in a year and felt terrific, but had about 20 pounds left to lose. It was almost as if the "spark" went out. I felt better, I looked better, and suddenly I forgot I had a goal. I was also really discouraged by the skin as I've been overweight since high school so what's stretched is stretched. I traded one negative body image (fat) for another (skin) and thought that parts of me looked better fatter. Now my regaining was in no way a conscious decision (I'm not stupid!), but as these thoughts were running around my head, I got a promotion and landed square in the most stressful job of my life followed two months later by 9/11. I began to binge again in response to the stress. I lost my focus and forgot why I was doing this - to be healthy. Now that I think about it, I was probably more interested in being thin and looking good than I was in being healthy, so that when I didn't look the way I wanted I lost the spark, which was accelerated by my response to stress.

Sorry for the rambling, but to sum up:

The reality of my near-goal body did not match my expectations
I should have been more focused on the reward of good health rather than appearance
I failed to develop new coping skills that were not food-centric
I was depending too much on my new body to elevate my self-esteem, so when it still bore the evidence of years of food abuse, I lost some of the steam to continue leaving me open to regaining

This time around, I'm trying to work on these things. But they're big things to change!

12-16-2006, 04:58 AM
Oh boy, this topic really scares me. I know this is going to sound insane, but I for one have never even been in this position before. I started gaining weight after marriage, almost 21 years ago, I'm now 43. I was never a yo-yo dieter. I barely dieted as an adult that is. I just went up and up and up. So I have zero past experience to go by. I have now lost some weight, no where near enough and am experiencing most of the things that pookie lists in her original post, the lack of stares, the feeling lighter, the smallest instead of the largest size....Yes I am feeling better, but I didn't start this to stop in the middle. At this point my motivation is my continued success, the continued health benefits,the increased activity, the even more stores to shop in and of course my children who are even giddier then me about my weightloss. I already have loose skin where from just the 65 lb weightloss, I can't imagine how atrocious it is going to get as I get further towards goal. But for me vanity was not my first or even my second reason for doing this. I will never have the perfect body, not even close. I have abused my body for too long and barring surgery it's just not going to be perfect. I have accepted that fact. But that was not my reason for losing weight. I did this because I was sick and tired of letting life just pass me by. I was not a participant in life. My weight has held me back from so many things. I was sick and tired of being so inactive. Sick of being afraid of heart disease and increased cancer risks. I pray that I can keep this momentum going and indeed make it to goal.. ANd I have every intention to. I will never have a stunning, fabulous body but I most definitely do not have to be overweight. It's all up to me.

12-16-2006, 12:11 PM
This thread really resonates with me. I've lost almost 120 pounds, can fit into size 12s (at least some places!) -- down from a 28/30 -- and am the smallest I've been in my adult life. For the past 2 months I've had a hard time eating to lose -- I seem to eat an extra 100-200 calories/day relatively consistently .

I started all of this so that I would be healthier when I turn 50 than when I turned 40 -- so my focus has been health. That's helpful, because for now I have decided not to worry about the scale so much, but to focus on being healthy.

I've entered a kind of maintenance mode. Perhaps I'll lose a little while I'm here, but I think I need time to adjust to my new body, my new capabilities, without the stress of worrying about whether the scale goes down or not. I think this is a dangerous time, as I seem to be a little more apathetic or ambivalent and seem to be sabotaging my own efforts. I don't have the same control I did a year ago. But that's okay. I need to know I can do this without the motivation of the scale.

My plan is to basically change nothing. Keep logging food, keep going to the gym, keep doing everything that got me here. That's what I hear from the maintainers over and over. (Thank you all!)

I suspect that after a time, I will want to go further. I am at the upper end of overweight for my height right now, and for my long term health it is better to lose more. But I have already given myself an amazing gift -- the loss of about 120 pounds not only makes me more mobile, but I am less at risk of so many ailments.

I don't know when the time will come that I am ready to lose more. But I know that right now, I was feeling a bit like a failure because of my daily sabotages -- despite the great success so far.

So, that's how I'm dealing with this issue for now.

12-16-2006, 12:34 PM
This IS a fantastic topic! Thanks, Pookie, for bringing it to the 100 Pounds group!:)

I can relate to everyone's comments here! I have spent the last SIX MONTHS at the same weight. I don't go up, and I don't go down. I guess you can say that I am a GREAT maintainer! I have thought about my reasons for the stall in my weight LOSS. Here's what I came up with:

1) I now feel fantastic and have more energy than anyone I know.

2) I've gone down from a 26W to 14/16 tops and 18 jeans in Misses size.

3) I can shop in the Misses department after "vacationing" in the Plus size department for over 25 YEARS. This was HUGE for me!

4) I like to bake and cook AND sample my foods.

5) I like to join my husband for dinners out in restaurants.

6) I can keep up with Turbo Jam and am learning how to be a lot less clutsy with my newly-begun step aerobics. I'm 55, so I feel pretty good about that! I regularly walk between 5-6 miles at a time and HAVE done 10 a couple times.

7) I really DO have big bones! (Did the "reach-your-thumb-and-middle-finger-around-your-opposite-wrist" test, and there's nearly AN INCH gap between my fingers!!!) People do not believe that I weigh what I do.

8) I CONTINUE to get compliments on my weight loss as I can wear increasingly smaller sizes even though I am NOT losing any more POUNDS. Exercise is working wonders to firm me up.

9) Did I mention I LOVE to eat????

10) I look at pictures of myself at my highest weight (275) from Christmas 2000 and compare them with now, six years later (210), and really LIKE what I look like now compared to before.

I guess what frightens me is if I alter my eating and add more exercise and focus JUST on the weight loss to get to the 160 goal that I set, when I finally reach my goal will I be able to MAINTAIN that weight? I do not plan to go UP in weight again if I can help it. 160 MAY just not be realistic for me as a person.

I think if I had any health issues or couldn't DO things that I wanted to do I might feel differently.

Also, what REALLY rings true to me is the SKIN THING that CLCSC145 mentioned as well as the HORRENDOUS varicose veins that I have all over my legs. Not only do I have spider veins; I have the deep bunchy ones (Thanks Mom, Grandma, Great-Grandma etc.!!!:( ). They stand out more and more as my legs get smaller and the fat recedes to uncover the unsightly ripples made by the bulgy veins! I seriously doubt that I will EVER put on a bathing suit and/or shorts again! Yuk about my ugly legs!:( Even if I get to be the SIZE that I was at 25 when I was married, my body is NOT the BODY of a 25 year-old!

ANYWAY, that's my thinking on it all. I continue to watch what I eat and exercise. I really would like to reach ONEderland, but am not so sure that I can be a permanent resident there and get to eat the way I WANT to eat. That's the truth, and I'm sticking to it!

Anybody have any thoughts to help me rethink this?



12-16-2006, 02:48 PM
Charolette- I am 20 years old, and I just have to say that I think it is amazing that you have lost that much weight. I don't know if you're the same but many of my friends are naturrally skinny, and it is almost disgusting lol. I know what it's like to be the big girl in the group when you're really not even that big. I don't know if that's your reasons for feeling "fat" but those were mine and I can deffinately relate to what your feeling. You just have to remember that you lost 100 lbs!!! That is amazing. Keep your head up, you will get to your goal. And remember people look at you as an inspiration. You should be proud of your new body!

12-16-2006, 05:21 PM
I'm so not there yet & my weightloss is going slowly but I am really optimistic that the path I am on is such a change in lifestyle & habits that I won't reach an "end" point but will just continue on because it is how I am living my life not a daily struggle. For now it is a daily struggle - but it is getting easier.

12-16-2006, 05:36 PM
Rockinrobin, you and I are in much the same position. I've never dieted. I was heavy as a child. In high school the weigh fell off, literally. I stayed about 125 through high school and college, then started gaining when I got married. It's been going up steadily since then! I look back now and wonder why I didn't do this before! It seems almost EASY to me, but I believe that I was in the right spot in my life and in the right frame of mind to begin this journey. The skin thing does scare the heck out of me, though!

12-16-2006, 06:56 PM
Boaterswife, we really do have similar stories, I know this is gonna sound crazy as well, but I'm also not finding this so difficult. Don't shoot me anyone. Although I found the first 2 -3 weeks very hard. But now, not so much. Of course I have some harder days then others, but I've gotten through them. So far, so good. I also wonder why the heck didn't I do this earlier. But like you said it's the right frame of mind and the right place in one's life. For me I just got sick and tired of being fat and like a light bulb went on in my head - Hellloooo you most certainly DO NOT HAVE TO BE FAT.
The extra skin part is quite scary, given my short height and my high weight. But I think it would be even scarier to go through life with the weight on.

12-17-2006, 01:08 PM
Thanks, Pookie, Jessica and Caseygail. :)
I appreciate it. And I do try to think positively but like caseygail says, when all of your friends are young thin and pretty, just being a normal size is, well, normal and no big accomplishment. For them, wearing a bikini at the beach is just something they do as a matter of fact, where as for me that would be the biggest nsv in my life!
And as for others mentioning the skin issue, well, it IS an issue and I look 'foward' to my ops but.......I mean they ARE ops and like pookie says, they are something that has to be dealt with and are a bit straining psychologically (if that makes sense).
I think that I have become much more focused on my body and watching how it can change and how I can MAKE it change (when it isn't being stubborn that is) and as a result I have become more critical of it.
I am proud that I have lost this weight but......it is a shame that I even had the problem of having to lose it in the first place. And I KNOW that all of you understand me on this point. I mean, our scale and ns victories are great and fabulous and terrific accomplishments for every single one of us but.......it totally sucks that we even are at the point where we have to lose weight.

12-17-2006, 03:39 PM
I am proud that I have lost this weight but......it is a shame that I even had the problem of having to lose it in the first place. And I KNOW that all of you understand me on this point. I mean, our scale and ns victories are great and fabulous and terrific accomplishments for every single one of us but.......it totally sucks that we even are at the point where we have to lose weight.

Oh yes, yes, I do know what you mean. I have people congratulate me frequently for losing the weight, but I usually think "yes, but I let myself GET to that point, first!"

I mean, I'm proud of myself for losing the weight, but at the same time ashamed of having gained it in the first place!

12-17-2006, 03:53 PM
I can completely relate to everything you said charlotte. But, be proud that you did realize you needed to lose the weight and not only that: YOU LOST IT! It is unfortunate that you got there in the first place but you are fortunate that you found the motivation and will power to lose it. All of that unhealthy eating will catch up with our "skinny" friends one day. But, even though we had to struggle at least we are learning at an early age how to eat healthy and exercise. This is somthing that will stick with us for the rest of our lives and I'm so happy that I'm figuring it out at such a young age :) Be proud of that body girl. I still have a little ways to go but you are almost there!!

12-18-2006, 01:07 AM
Wow, what a thread for thought. First off, Rockinrobin and boaterswife, WOW! I could have written parts of your posts. I've never really dieted either. I never yo-yo dieted. I just ate and ate and ate. I've just never made much effort to lose weight, but now that I have, it's not as hard as I thought it would be. I get to eat wonderful foods, I don't go around hungry, I feel great after I exercise, etc. Don't get me wrong, some days are harder than others, but it's not the daily struggle I always assumed it would be.

The thought of getting complacent about losing weight bothers me. I'm afraid that becoming complacent may lead back into old habits, which would lead back to weight gain. I feel like I have to be "always on " (always thinking about losing or at least controlling my weight) and that makes me tired, and almost makes me rebellious. And from what I read from the maintainers, the truth of the matter is that I will always have to be conscious of my weight and of what I eat. It concerns me that someday a time will come when I get tired of thinking about losing weight, and I push that to the back of my mind. What will happen then? Will the good habits that I have practiced for the last 16 months carry me through or not? I don't know, but it is something that I worry about.

Right after Thanksgiving, I did have a struggle for a couple of days, where I thought about trying to maintain for a while. In the end I decided to continue trying to lose right now. But I am slowly becoming happier with how I look, and I have occasionally thought, "even if I don't lose anymore....." I've had to buy new clothes again, and the thought occured to me that I could get more use out of them if I maintained for a while. NO. NO. NO. That's not really where I want to be right now. I still need to lose weight. I'm still obese for heaven's sake. Not even overweight.

Heather and Charlotte, I understand what you mean about being ashamed to have gained so much weight in the first place. A lady at church tonight asked how much weight I had lost. I told her, then she asked how much more I wanted to lose. I told her probably 50 more lbs. She made a sound, I don't know what she meant by it. Maybe she meant, wow what an accomplishment that will be, but what went through my head was, wow how does someone get to be so fat that they need to lose 180 lbs. So yeah, I'm proud of having lost 130 lbs, but it sucks that I still need to lose another 50!

12-18-2006, 02:20 AM
I can understand. :yes: A few years back I got to down to a 170. This coming from a 215, pretty good I thought! I felt and looked GREAT! I also could keep up with the workouts and enjoyed life a lot more. The problem was trying to lose the additional 30 - 40 pounds that I had left to lose, just like you ladies have stated, you get SO excited about no longer being in the largest size of the plus size store, but the smallest! I had a friend who worked at a Plus Size Ladies shop and I went in for some clothes shopping. She had a hard time finding my size because it was the absolute smallest size there! What a feeling! :carrot:

But you all are right, its important to stay focused. I still have a ways to go yet until I'm to that point, but how do you stay motivated? Also how to answer people who ask you how much weight you lost so that you don't feel ashamed of the weight you were at?

:congrat: to all who have lost! Keep going! :dance:

12-18-2006, 02:26 AM
I have the same problem -- I'm so much more aware of my body - and I'm even more self conscious (and dislike it more), get down about it more, BUT at the same time, I fit into cuter clothes now (and I can't fit into any plus size clothes anymore), I'm just 13 pounds away from having normal BMI (Unfortunately, I know a lot of it is excess skin I have to have surgically removed), my boyfriend tells me I'm hot and sexy all of the time, I don't have to worry about my health due to morbid obesity, I'm in better shape than anyone I know (except my boyfriend). Unless some kind of enormous motivation comes along, I may stay at this weight until it does so
(and I'm going to have to exercise 1+ hours a day too since I can't lower my calories anymore).

I'm thinking the new year will be good motivation -- I'm also getting a new job and will be finally able to get help for some of my eating/body image/self esteem issues. So I can finally be at peace with my new body and weight loss journey :D It's crazy because I've lost so much weight, and I'm struggling so much with a measly 19 pounds, only 12% left of total weight loss.

I've been searching for new motivation for the past 6 months, but I haven't come across anything. My major motivation to start with was health and that's taken care of. My next motivation was vanity -- and I still feel REALLY big -- but I'm working on that. I hardly can complain now -- there's no way I would have gone after the job (I may not have even been considered -- it said certain physical demands must be met -- I'm sure I couldn't have at over 300 pounds) and I went after an amazing guy (never would have done) and I got him too.

12-18-2006, 05:15 AM
The motivation thing is really hard. I've lost 50 pounds and feel a million times better than I used to. I'm also back to the weight I was for 10 years so I feel comfortable at this weight. I do still want to lose more.

At the moment though its going very slowly, it never went that fast to begin with, and I'm finding it very frustrating. I was considering just accepting that I was maintaining for a while to give myself time to regroup but I was worried that would be one step away from relaxing so much I put it all back on!

I came on here for help and the suggestion was to exercise more...the sensible solution to get things moving quicker. Only problem is that I work full time and run two businesses and want a love life so I am finding it hard to go to the gym more than 3 times a week.

So faced with an impasse I've decided to just keep going. I am losing - just very slowly - but even if I manage just a pound a month then that's 12 pounds by next Xmas...better than 12 on!

So that's my trade off between wanting to hit my goal and having the life I want. Yes I may well decide to ramp it up later and exercise more but for now I'm chugging along trying to remember that story of the Tortoise and the Hare!

I suppose then my suggestion is to take a look at what you want and what you are prepared to sacrifice then make a deal with yourself.

12-18-2006, 07:42 AM
As i see more responses to this post I get more and more nervous. Thank goodness I am still losing at a steady pace, but the more I read these posts the more nervous I get if and when I get to that plataeu. Will I have the strength and DETERMINATION to get through it. Certainly at a whopping 219pounds, 5 foot nothing, yes, but what if that plataeu comes at 170 or 150? I'm still thinking that I'd like to try real hard to get to goal, but having never been there I really, really can't predict what will be. I'd sure as heck like to THINK that'd I'd give it a REAL good try - well that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!

And jtammy,boaterswife, I really, really thought I was the only one who never seriously tried to diet. Day in and day out this place (3fc) amazes me. To be able to "speak" with so many people who have the same exact story is incredible. Here you are struggling in your own little world and to know that so many people are in your same exact shoes, it's just really something. I'm real glad we finally figured out that our weight does not need to go up and up and up , that we could put a halt to this craziness and that we can indeed "diet".:)

12-18-2006, 10:22 AM
coley144 -- you sound like you're going through what I'm feeling. In my case, I'm getting lots of exercise in, but struggling with eating less. Maintain now, "ramp it up later" -- just as you said. And like you, I may lose, albeit very slowly.

robin -- will you have the strength and determination? Great question! I am personally thinking of this less as a plateau and more as continuing to make use of the habits I've already learned. My schedule has changed and one of my challenges is to reorient my habits to a different schedule. But that's life, right? It changes and we need to adapt.

HarpoChicoGroucho -- Congrats on the new job and the new guy!! I keep saying this is a "Whole New World" and your experiences speak to that!

Perhaps we all have to remember that losing weight and keeping it off really is a victory -- even if we may not be exactly where we want to be.

wanna b thin
12-18-2006, 12:28 PM
Unlike many of you I am a yo-yo dieter and have been overweight most of my life. The most I ever lost at one time was about 70 pounds, but I was still obese at about 190 lbs, so I am very concerned about keeping the motivation going and not becoming too compfortable at a weight that is still not healthy or where I want to be. I started this weight loss jorney for a healthier me, not for other reasons, like my son's wedding when I lost 70 pounds. My short tern goal is to be able to fit into the summer clothes I have from when I lost before, for a January vacation. I havn't had time to get them out and try them on yet but I think they will fit. I am now very afraid that I will not be able to stay focused and in control after I return from vacation. I feel so much better and I am getting many compliments even though I know I have a lot more to loose. I am hoping that by joing the New Years Challenge here and a challenge that will start agin after the first of the year at Curves while continuing WW will be enough to keep me motivated. I want to be healthy and off my blood pressure medicine and I feel I need to reach goal to do that.

I only found this site a short time ago, many of your stories are facinating and inspirering. Thank you for sharing, it really helps.

12-18-2006, 04:29 PM
The thought of getting complacent about losing weight bothers me. I'm afraid that becoming complacent may lead back into old habits, which would lead back to weight gain. I feel like I have to be "always on " (always thinking about losing or at least controlling my weight) and that makes me tired, and almost makes me rebellious.

I'm so glad I read this post because it was a bit of a wake up call for me. I've been getting complacent about my weight loss; haven't been exercising as much (or at all some days), and haven't been as careful about what I'm putting in my mouth. Thankfully, I haven't gained anything back, but it's definately time to get back with the good habits. :)

12-21-2006, 01:10 PM
Okay, i stumbled across this thread in the WLS forum, and Robin kindly invited me over here. SO! This is what i wrote over there:

At 24 years of age and 292 pounds (i may have hit the 300 mark, i'm not sure. But when i weighed a few weeks into active weight loss this is what showed up on the scale) i was just absolutely disgusted with myself. My MIL had decided to do Atkins, and asked if i would do it with her. I did a modified Atkins really, because i didn't go as far as she did, and i never bought the Atkins yogurts and chocolate bars and etc. that she did.

Anyway, i managed to lose about 50 pounds, and it wasn't that hard! And then i got pregnant! This was actually amazing news, as i was pretty sure something was wrong with me (well,.. something was,.. my weight!!!) after 3 years of my husband and i trying.

While pregnant i managed to lose another 5-7 pounds, and when i gave birth to my son, i lost 25 more pounds instantly! Yay!! LOL

Over the next 6-8 months after i gave birth i lost another 10-15 pounds.

Then my situation changed a bit, i lost all control of the foods available to me (don't buy the groceries, nor specifically pay for them, and could make a few requests but not complete diet changes) and stressful life occurrances, and i ended up gaining back 45-50 pounds.

Over the past 2 months i've successfully lowered my weight by 8 pounds. This is completely unacceptable considering my previous successes. I still have little to no control on the foods available to me, but i still make much healthier choices. I've been working out consistantly, and i'm very very frustrated.

I know the reason, among all the other stressors in my life, that i began to gain again was because i had also hit a plateau, and was not losing any weight, and i gave up.

Even now, i look at pictures of myself from 3 years ago and think how awful i looked, and i know i look a teeny bit better now. But, just catching glimpses of myself in windows and etc still makes me sick, because i'm still SO HUGE.

But since i can now find clothes without TOO much hassle, and even some of the stuff in regular department stores fit me now, i find that yeah, i'm a bit complacent about it all. Apathetic. Why should i have to work this hard for the rest of my life just to be what society thinks is acceptable?!

But then i realize it's for my own health, and to set a good example for my son, and to be able to spend as much time here on earth with my son, and get the most out of that time. To do all of these things i need to be healthier (my doctor says i'm quite healthy now, but i could be better.). I know i could still stand to lose about 100 pounds, and be quite healthy.

I really do want to lose it. Honest. But it's just so hard right now and i get so discouraged so easily. It wasn't so hard before!!

*** I also wanted to add, i'm afraid this is going to be my first 'yo-yo'. I never dieted before, never tried to lose weight. Just slowly but surely gained through my life. At 15 i remember my Dad making a huge deal out of the fact that he weighed over 220, and it hit me so hard, because i knew i was already at 250.

But i think to myself, i truly cannot afford a smaller wardrope! I live with my parents, paying off bills i didn't incur, trying to raise my son on my own, working full time at a job that pays next to nothing. Is losing weight worth it?

It's just, i'm not in serious health risk, like i was 60 pounds ago. My menstrual cycle has been regular since 4 weeks after i gave birth, for the first time in my life. I'm much healthier, actually. I find myself being slightly apathetic about it all. Why bother? I've lost some, i'm still horribly fat, but not MORBIDLY so. And so yeah, i'm finding losing again MUCH harder than it was the first time!