General chatter - Things I will not say too/in front of my Kids
12-10-2006, 05:55 PM
Please add on
1. I'm so fat
2. Clean your plate
3. Finish your X if you want dessert
4. I was thin until I had you (my mom STILL uses this one - I think blaming me at this point is about 35 years too long)
5. You ate a lot! Good Job! (this gets said to my dd because she rarely eats enoughto feed a flea)
12-11-2006, 01:33 PM
I don't have kids of my own, but, when I'm around other people's children I don't mention my weight at all. When I'm watching someone's kids, I NEVER make them finish their food, if they say they're full... then they probably are. That's probably why I have a warped sense of when I'm full or not, because when I used to say I was full... I had to keep eating because my parents made me.
12-11-2006, 05:17 PM
I find that now that I am a mom I am cautious about weight I say around my 3 yr old daughter as well.
I too never make her clean her plate. Usually I give her very little and if she asks for more than we give it to her.
Also my daycare provider started something that has worked really well. They compliment the children on eating their growing food. Foods that are healthy.
I definitly don't want her to grow up with the same habits that I had as a kid. So far she sees me eating well and tends to follow without me saying anything to her at all.
We never refer to anyone in our house as fat and we try not to reward with food either.
12-12-2006, 02:15 PM
I will never say to my DD "you have to be skinny to wear an outfit like that" or "it would look better on a skinny person" or anything like that. Those were the things my mom would say to me when we went clothes shopping........then she'd tell me to clean my plate.......
12-13-2006, 05:44 AM
My dad always told me I was fat even though I never was until I finished university. When I swapped waitressing for an office job, I quickly put on 30kg (66lb) in my first few months at work. That's the first time it dawned on me I hadn't been fat. I thought to myself, oh now, thisis fat...
My husband's family drive me nuts because they are all on the verge of having an eating disorder. They are constantly commenting on and gossiping about how fat different family members are and it makes me livid when they do that to the little kids and the teenage girls.
No, my kids won't have to clean their plates etc etc.
My dad even said to me once that I'd never find a man if I stayed fat. This was when I was a teenager! He has said many times I should wear long skirts to cover my thick legs. Luckily, I have my head screwed on quite well and I love my legs. I have great firm legs with defined muscles from years of dance. My dad is very loving but this is just one of his stupid thinsg I must grit my teeth through because he's never going to change his twisted views about what women shoudl look like and I've finished fighting with him about it now. Too tiring and pointless! Ditto my husband's family. I'll just concentrate on looking after my kids the way I think is right.
12-13-2006, 06:17 AM
Well I don't have children, but being an overweight child, I can certainly say what did and didn't work for me.
Calling me names. Yes my family made fun of me and it wasn't bad enough that I had to go to school and endure that, I had to hear it from my own family. Remember that old saying, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all?" Very very true!
Your STILL hungry? This just made me feel like a pig. Instead maybe suggest eating some fruit or veggies or drinking some water to fill them up.
Keeping junk foods around and easily accessable. Keep healthy foods easily accessable instead and that means yup you eating healthy foods too. ;)
Give things for your kids to do when your not around. If you are a single parent or you and your spouse both work and if your kid (s) are old enough to now stay home alone, give them chores to do, keep a list of activities they can do (that you approve of), have a relative, friend, or neighbor come over and do activities with them. My mom was a single mom and I know all about this. Sometimes kids can't think of things to do when they are alone. Also of course keep a list of #'s where they can get a hold of you and relatives, friends, neighbors if they get lonely, bored or whatever.
Limit your kids tv and computer time. We didn't have computers "back" then, but my mom would limit my tv time. Encourage physical activities.
The best thing that worked for me was my mom doing things with me, like taking walks with me, looking at food labels with me, etc. I also had a cousin that I was very close too and spent a lot of time with and we would encourage each other and take walks together, etc too.
Use other things as rewards besides food. Take them to the park for the day, ride bikes together, play a sport with them, take them and their friends skating, etc.