Weight Loss Support - Hitting Bottom.. I'm an emotional mess.




juliebee
12-04-2006, 10:07 PM
I'm so upset right now that it's taking every last piece of willpower not go walk down the street and buy the biggest bags of M&Ms and Doritos I can find.

So just about three weeks ago my boyfriend and I broke up. We bought a condo together had been living together for over a year. Due to circumstances, we still have to live together until we figure out what we are doing with our place.

I honestly thought we would get married and be happy until one day he just decides he can't do it any more. I feel like such a mess. I'm so angry and my life has just been turned upside down. I know being with him isn't right (who would want to go back to a guy who is willing to let a girl go so easily? I'm worth much more than that) but I just want to fast forward through the next two months and get my own life back.

Please help :( I've been doing so well but today just has the best of me.


House_of_Mirth
12-04-2006, 10:44 PM
Im very sorry about what you are going through...it must be so stressful and upsetting but I would just say two things...

1)It WILL end at some point and you will feel much better when it does, I know its scary to have your way of life and plans derailed (Its happened to me more times than Id like to count but at the same time it gives you a chance to figure out how tough you are and who else you can be (Ive discovered alot of selves I didn't know I had and I LOVE them)

2) The Doritios and M and M's wont make you feel better, you'll just hate that you ate them later on and when you are this upset I bet you wont even taste them. A good cry is probably the better option.

PM if you want to talk


Mirth

MileHighMama
12-04-2006, 11:04 PM
So sorry you feel so bad. I second what Mirth says and don't go for the M&Ms and chips. They will just make you feel worse. Focus on how much better you feel now that you've lost 13 pounds. That's something to hold onto now and keep you going when you feel so rough. You'll feel better in time as you get used to the new changes in your life. You're right in thinking that he couldn't have been that great a guy to let you go so easily. Can you take one step towards putting your new life togehter, like signing up for an exercise class, buyign new bedding, something like that?
Take good care,
Pam


Jasmine31
12-04-2006, 11:25 PM
I am sorry to hear about your tough time! Go hang out with friends, go work out, spend alot of "YOU" time!

sweet_talker
12-04-2006, 11:38 PM
Awwww, you sound like you need a hug :hug: Is there anyone around you could stay with for the night like a good friend or something just for some love and comfort? Or maybe take a nice bubble bath. *sigh* I wish there was something you could do to fast forward time, too...but at the same time, you'd miss a learning experience, because I am a true believer in learning from the past. Hopefully, even though the situation seems so bad right now, you can come out of it stronger and with some new experiences, I'm sure you can :)

And like Mirth said, PM if you want to/need to talk :listen:

chick_in_the_hat
12-05-2006, 12:01 AM
Good for you to be aware enuf to come post how you are feeling instead of being at the store buying the M&M's and chips. It's good thinking like that that got those 13 pounds off already! I'd say go for a walk - just make sure it's away from the store. :D

Sorry the relationship didn't work out and everything is rough right now...


And YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS!!! :hug:

denice81
12-05-2006, 12:26 AM
Julie,
So sorry you are feeling so sad, it will definately pass though. I agree with the others in that it was so smart for you to realize you may be tempted to emotionally eat and avoid that. Definately get in some "YOU" time! It will get better soon, and you will be so much stronger and wiser afterwards. Good luck with the condo thing, try and find some other place to spend some time if possible, its probably most painful to have to be in the same house with the ex during the transition.

Apolline
12-05-2006, 12:58 AM
Ugh! I have no good advice, but I can offer a few prayers and one of these :hug: !

nelie
12-05-2006, 10:51 AM
I know it seems difficult right now and it may take time to figure things out but I am positive things will work out for the better. It is harder when you are blindsided and feel out of control but one thing you can control is your eating. You will survive this and some day you will find someone who couldn't imagine leaving you. I wish you the best.

juliebee
12-05-2006, 12:43 PM
First off, thank you so much to all of you that replied. Reading all of your responses made me tear up and really gave me a confidence boost. I feel so touched that all of you took the time to write such kind words. I don't feel so alone in this now and I really feel so much better thanks to all of you :)

I didn't end up at the store, thank goodness. I held off as long as I could then opted for light popcorn that fit into my eating plan. Phew! Made it through.

Mirth - You're so right about finding different 'selves' and not fast forwarding through. I have to take the RIGHT way, not the easy way through this. I find I've already discovered parts of me I didn't know were there. I'm glad I have been strong enough to realize that I don't have to beg someone like him to stay with me. I'm glad I have been able to reach out when I need help rather than turn to junk food to make me feel better (thanks to the support of nice people like you :) ) and I'm glad to know that eventually (whenever that may be..) things will be ok.

MileHiMama - I took your advice and took some steps into moving on. I went through some of my old clothes that don't fit any more and got them bagged up to donate to charity. Thanks for the initiative :) Sometimes these things make a lot more sense when someone else says them!

Jasmine - I'm going to take as much ME time as possible this week. Thanks for reminding me that I deserve it :)

sweettalker - Thanks so much for the hug :) I've stayed with my family a few nights over the past little bit. It's so hard to leave my home though. :( I will definitely come out of this stronger.. and that is a really great thought to keep me positive.. so thanks for mentioning that :)

chick in the hat - Thanks for making me feel better about myself.. your post acutally boosted my confidence! You're right! I AM worth more than this :D

denice - It definitely is hard to be in the same place. I wish he would take a hint and hit the road for a while! ;) Hehe. Thanks for all your kind words :)

apolline - Thank you for your hugs and prayers :) I really appreciate them.

nelie - I am going to keep what you said about having control of my eating front of mind. You're right.. it is one of the very few things that I can keep total control of right now. Thank you :)

Jasmine31
12-05-2006, 02:13 PM
You are welcome sweetie! Remember, living well (And healthy!) is the best revenge! Use this as even more inspiration to get thin and in shape and let him eat his heart out later! haha

juliebee
12-05-2006, 04:10 PM
You are welcome sweetie! Remember, living well (And healthy!) is the best revenge! Use this as even more inspiration to get thin and in shape and let him eat his heart out later! haha

:yes: what a sweet revenge it will be! :D I'm gonna bust my butt even harder so when he comes crawling back and I turn on my heel to leave, he can get a good look at what he gave up hahahah :lol:

Mami
12-05-2006, 04:46 PM
To be honest, this creep (OK, that may be extreme but we're on YOUR side in this!) breaking it off with me would only spur me on more to lose that weight. This has been the case in my past as I not only want to look great to attract the next man, it doesn't hurt to look great and rub it in their face when they run into you in your new sexy clothes and great body. You will be looking quite hot and he will be regretting this bigtime! LOL

juliebee
12-05-2006, 07:12 PM
To be honest, this creep (OK, that may be extreme but we're on YOUR side in this!) breaking it off with me would only spur me on more to lose that weight. This has been the case in my past as I not only want to look great to attract the next man, it doesn't hurt to look great and rub it in their face when they run into you in your new sexy clothes and great body. You will be looking quite hot and he will be regretting this bigtime! LOL

LOL thanks Mami!!! I totally laughed out loud at your comment.
It's true that it gets me fired up to lose the weight. There are just moments when I lose my strength and think.. hmmm.. Doritooosssss. Hehe.
I'm going to do my best to keep focused though. No way I'm going to let him ruin THIS too!

sweet_talker
12-05-2006, 07:46 PM
You have such a great attitude, Juliebee! I'm sure it won't just be his head turning when you strut into a room!!! :)

juliebee
12-05-2006, 10:24 PM
You have such a great attitude, Juliebee! I'm sure it won't just be his head turning when you strut into a room!!! :)

Aw thank you sweet_talker! :) That's such a nice thing to say!!!

ATSBeautiful
12-06-2006, 12:12 AM
Sorry you have to go through this now! Why is it they decide to call it off after you've taken on half a mortgage? The same thing happened to me a week before XMAS. I turned to facials,,massages and fabulous bedding.Also, anytime he needed to "talk to me" I'd leave to walk the track.

You do have a fabulous attitude and were probably to good for him from the beginning. Revenge is best served with a nice toned body and great jeans.Keep on living for you!

juliebee
12-06-2006, 10:44 AM
Sorry you have to go through this now! Why is it they decide to call it off after you've taken on half a mortgage? The same thing happened to me a week before XMAS. I turned to facials,,massages and fabulous bedding.Also, anytime he needed to "talk to me" I'd leave to walk the track.

You do have a fabulous attitude and were probably to good for him from the beginning. Revenge is best served with a nice toned body and great jeans.Keep on living for you!

ATSBeautiful.. Thank you SO MUCH for your comment.. I don't know anyone else who has gone through this. I'm sorry you had to go through it too.. but it is really nice to know that I'm not alone in it. Ooh massages, facials and new bedding.. sounds good to me!!

I'm working so hard at the gym to make sure my revenge is extra sweet! :woops: :lifter: :ebike: Haha!

ATSBeautiful
12-07-2006, 02:53 PM
Good for you!! Keep working toward your goals and focus on how great you really are!! Most men can't stand it if you don't fall apart over them. Well.......maybe just the type I picked. HaHa. The more nonchalant I was the more irritated they became. You are DEFINITELY not alone. It happened to a friend of mine Last Christmas ,also. She's now engaged to a Doctor and VERY happy. Hang in there....it always gets better. Hugs and Blessings.

juliebee
12-07-2006, 07:10 PM
Good for you!! Keep working toward your goals and focus on how great you really are!! Most men can't stand it if you don't fall apart over them. Well.......maybe just the type I picked. HaHa. The more nonchalant I was the more irritated they became. You are DEFINITELY not alone. It happened to a friend of mine Last Christmas ,also. She's now engaged to a Doctor and VERY happy. Hang in there....it always gets better. Hugs and Blessings.

Yikes, what is it with Christmas?? Is that some kind of window of opportunity I'm not aware of? :lol:
Ooh a doctor! Lucky gal! Well it's always nice to know people have gone through similar experiences and are now happy :)
Thanks ATSBeautiful!