Paganchicks - Paganchicks need your help on sad problem

11-28-2006, 01:13 AM
For greater detail you could go to my journal from tonight, But the short version is tonight I had to do a very sad thing.

I had to put to sleep my familiar. Her name was DARK LADY MAO. As anyone who has had a familiar you know how devistating this is. On top of it, this is my first pet that as an adult, I had to make the decision. I'm sure it really doesnt get much easier, but up to this point my pets passings where usually my mother/father or sister's decision.

What I need help with is this: What to do with her remains.
I know at least this much, We dont want her cremated. We are planning to pick her up as is, then bury her.

We have to properties, one upstate, and the one here where we currently reside. When we retire, we will build a home upstate but lordie when that will be who knows. So burying her up there, I am leaning against...besides, that was not her home. Here was.

Then next, a stone or metal box? so that we could take her up later when we go?
Or a wooden/bio-degradeable box that will enable her body to become one with the earth, allow her to be part of the circle of life. I was thinking of planting her way down under where I was going to plant a flower garden next year...There is a bird bath there for her entertainment,,,,,DH thought it would be nice under my Lilac bush....Also not a bad idea, I love that bush....but it only blooms for such a short time...

Bare with me, It has only been a couple hours since I gave them permission to put her to sleep and my mind is still not working right. We couldnt go be with her....both DH and I agreed that we just did hospice with his dad just over a year ago, and we were with him at the time of his passing and just couldnt do it. Sweetly though my niece called me to tell me she went up and held her for a little she wasnt totally alone.

So sorry to be so depressing....I just wasnt sure where to go, you lovely ladies have such interesting and diverse Ideas about things, and a pet lover verses a pet lover of a familiar is soooooo different.

Thank you for any input you might have. Blessed be>

11-28-2006, 09:26 AM
Here's a link I came across years ago for a ritual for releasing a pet or a familiar. Maybe it will help you.

11-29-2006, 11:40 PM
I've never had a familiar; I can only imagine the pain you are in right now.

I would, in your place, use a wooden box, to let her rejoin with the Earth in time. I would also say, bury her in a place where she spent her time. A place she enjoyed, or that you spent time in together. Perhaps that's near your flower garden, or under your lilacs.

Sending you all the strength and love I can. :hug:

11-30-2006, 11:43 AM
Reading your post made me want to cry as I have to put down two of my cats a few years ago. It is really hard to lose a familiar and a friend. My sympathies go out to you. :grouphug:

I had a friend who buried hers a few years back at her cottage under a tree. It was important for her to bury him in a place that he spent time and seemed to enjoy as well as to be close to nature.

I would recommend a wooden box for the same reasons as Nikai stated and would definitely plant a perennial there so that it would blossom every year.

11-30-2006, 04:14 PM
Just wanted to bop in a give you a hug:hug: I'm so sorry for you loss.

12-05-2006, 09:30 PM

I am so sorry to hear about this. I know how it is. In the last two years, we've had to euthanize four beloved cats, one because of old age/kidney failure, another because of old age/heart failure, another because of adenocarcinoma, another because of a horrible, human-caused tragedy. The final dear cat, Lani, was at some point in her life given an injection between her shoulder blades, and a cancerous tumor developed there. It was inoperable because of its proximity.

There are no shoulds, really, at this awful time, except to avoid those who would minimize the enormity of this loss. I have found it helpful to make some kind of memorial for the departed animal and also to do a labyrinth walk for each one.

And remember, we're here.