General chatter - What to wear for a wedding?

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11-24-2006, 01:05 PM
This is my first time to an American wedding and I have no idea what to wear... I moved to US 1 year back and infact this is my first Christian wedding.

It is our friend's wedding which is taking place in the morning followed by lunch in the afternoon in a beachside restaurant. So I am guessing "light colors". I know white and black are usually not worn.

I have black pants and a satin lavender shirt. But I dont know if that goes.

Should it be a dress or a formal suit? I am planning to buy something. I do not want anything very short nor anything sleevless (winter).

My budget is not more than $150-200. Any suggestions, links, stores etc. for dressing ideas and accessories to go with it would be great! Please please help me!

11-24-2006, 01:39 PM
Morning weddings with afternoon receptions usually means more casual than an afternoon/evening wedding. I would say black pants and a satin top would be fine. Perhaps dress it up with some heels and some jewelry and that should be fine.

11-24-2006, 02:14 PM
My general advice would be:

Never wear white
As above, morning and afternoon weddings tend to be more casual than evening weddings.
Outdoor weddings tend to be more casual than indoor weddings.
Spring and summer are good times to wear light colored clothes while fall and winter weddings tend to make the darker colored clothes more appropriate.
Warmer climate weddings also tend to be a bit more casual (Hawaii, Southern California and Florida, I don't know about other places)

I wouldn't wear all black to a wedding but black slacks/skirt is definitely appropriate for a wedding especially for evening weddings and/or fall/winter weddings.

I just had my wedding the other day and guests came in a mix of outfits. Some guys wore suits while others did not. Some women wore dresses while others wore slacks/skirts with a nice top. The colors were more on the darker side as it is fall although some wore lighter colors as accent colors.

Unless your wedding invite specifically said something about a dress code, your outfit will be fine.

11-24-2006, 02:42 PM
Thanks desparateinjersey and nelie. I was looking at some online stores and found this dress: umbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6005556&P=1

Please let me know if this looks OK?

I am guessing the wedding is very formal and affluent because I know that most people coming are aged 55 and up. I dont know any other guests there. I think it was very nice of our friend to invite us and I do not want to feel out of place there. Is there any specific ettiquette or anything that I should know?

Also he clearly asked us to NOT get any gifts so we are thinking of a bouquet of roses instead of going empty handed. what do you think?

11-24-2006, 02:56 PM
That dress is beautiful, it would be perfect.

11-24-2006, 03:04 PM
That dress is beautiful. I'm guessing you would know better but I'd say just because there are a lot of older guests that it wouldn't mean it is affluent or formal. I don't think you could go wrong with that dress or even your previous mentioned outfit.

I can't really think of any etiquette that you would need to follow. The wedding ceremony may be different for you since you have never been to an american or christian wedding. I wouldn't worry about that though because you can normally follow what others or doing or watch if they are doing something specific to their religion. Although I didn't have a catholic ceremony, my family is catholic and often other christians are bewildered by our ceremonies.

I probably wouldn't bring flowers to a wedding. Most weddings have lots of flowers and the family will probably have more flowers than they could ever want.

11-24-2006, 04:51 PM

11-24-2006, 04:58 PM
Nelie! Congrats on your wedding! (You mention it soooo subtly!) Pictures? Details?

11-24-2006, 05:13 PM
I think either outfit is just fine. I agree about the flowers; there are so many at a wedding. Why don't you bring a nice card?

11-24-2006, 08:51 PM
That dress is gorgeous! But may be a bit too formal. I agree, just because there are older people there, does not necessarily mean its fancier or more affluent. Here's my advice: Go in what you are comfortable in and it will show at the wedding.

I wouldnt bring flowers, they will probably have a lot of flowers there. I like the idea of a nice card, or even if you just buy them something small. Perhaps a small vase or picture frame. Just something that they will remember you by.

11-27-2006, 12:35 PM
Nelie - did anyone wear white to your wedding?

I had 2 people wearing white! :lol: I didn't notice till I got the pictures back! I mean how DARE they??? :rofl: They didn't look as good as moi though! :lol:

Ok to the point... Wear something you feel comfortable in, wear something that is not too casual and not too smart, somewhere in the middle. If you are going with people you know, ask what they are wearing so you will fit in with them (I mean style wise not wearing the same colour ;) ). If there's no dress code then I bet the bride and groom probably don't mind much whatever you wear as long as you turn up!

A nice card is always good if you aren't buying a present. Write something meaningful and it can sometimes be better than a present. We got a lovely pressie from a friend of mine who is a photographer, he gave us one of his framed prints. So is there something personal you can do for the B&G?

11-27-2006, 01:01 PM
midwife - pictures are in the process!

Frus - no one wore white or cream. Lucky for them...

One of my favorite presents from the wedding was a card from a friend. She wrote a quirky personal note and it made me cry. I also read every card I got and I really appreciated those that wrote personal notes in them.

11-27-2006, 05:26 PM
A dress would be nice. If NO GIFTS are specified, then a card will do. BUT, it might be nice to send your friend those flowers on return from a honeymoon! That might be a nice touch...

11-27-2006, 06:15 PM
Just thought I would pipe in with my two cents.

I am of the opinion that it is always nice to wear a dress to a wedding. Though I think slacks are acceptable, since dresses are worn infrequently these days, I think a dress is nice. Hmm, the dress you listed is pretty, but to me seems a little too formal. It looks more like something the mother of the bride would wear, rather than a guest at an afternoon wedding.

Of course, no white. I know within my circle of friends, one girl wore a strapless, short white dress to another friend's wedding. One of the other girls was so miffed! Thinking it was wildly inappropriate.

I would suggest checking chadwicks or landsend. Maybe something like this

The last one is probably my favorite.

As for the gift situation- i agree with what everyone else has said. Get a card, and write something thoughtful and personal. Probably best not to get the roses, as it may be difficult to know where to put them, and they will likely not be able to bring them to the honeymoon. If you really want to give something, you could consider making a gift to charity in their names. Just a thought. :)

11-28-2006, 11:42 PM
Thanks all. The wedding was just great! I finally wore a light brown suit with my satin lavender shirt. I think it was good. We did not get any gifts and luckily no-one brought any gifts either.
BTW, Christines, those dresses are just beautiful..and I am planning to get one for future. :)