100 lb. Club - New Body image issue
11-10-2006, 03:46 PM
I have a problem now, and I was wondering if others share in it.
It's the whole thing of more people coming up to me and being nice to me since I've lost some weight. That and old friends treating me differently.
There is a part of me that really despises this, since I know that some of these people would not have spoken to me before, and I'm still the same person. I"m still nice to them and all, but it just rubs me the wrong way.
Also, there's a part of me that thinks (and this is truly twisted and probably TMI) that my husband loved me more when he wanted sex when I was bigger, because it was about him being with me, as opposed to now he likes my appearance and I'm more insecure about it being about "me".
Anyone else having these kind of reverse body image issues?
11-10-2006, 05:36 PM
I have felt the same way. I am more questionable of people's intentions with their relationships with me, thinking now that people only approach me because I look good.
My husband and I had just the opposite problem, in that my husband was more insecure once I had lost the weight.
I just try and tell myself that I was fat for so many years, and now being thinner is all new to me and it will take some time to get used to it and figure out exactly who I am.
11-10-2006, 06:34 PM
Sometimes I wonder, however, if it's because we unconsciously push people away, or act differently when we're heavier. When I look at photos of myself 90+ pounds ago, I don't look very happy even when I'm smiling. But now I do. I think I attract people now because my attitude is different, and I'm more outgoing in social situations whereas before I preferred not to be noticed.
11-10-2006, 11:49 PM
I think it's both. We are probably more outgoing. However this is a messed up world and people do treat you different now that you are thinner. We see it on TV and in magazines all the time. It's the perfect little body's and the buff muscle men that get all the attention. It's not right but it is the way the world seems to think. We need to just live our lives to the fullest no matter what anyone thinks.
Now about your husband. I'm sure he has always loved you and loved what he sees. Us men our visual beings. But don't let your weight loss interfere with the way you feel when being intimate. Maybe you are feeling more conscious about it because he is complimenting you more. I'm sure he is bringing it up more because he wants you to know that he is proud of you and wants to support your accomplishment. So enjoy the compliments and what you have with him and don't let this get in between you two. You have done a wonderful thing for yourself and you should be proud and enjoy it.
11-11-2006, 04:05 AM
People also treat me differently since I've lost weight. Strangers are more likely to hold a door open for me, smile, strike up a conversation. I agree that it could be because I hold my head up high now and don't avoid eye contact like I used to do.
As for your DH, I'm sure that to him you were always sexy and desirable. Even if you didn't think you were. My DH always tells me now that he always felt I was sexy. I sure didn't feel that way about myself. He loved me then and he loves me now. I'm still the same person, my body has just changed some. So are you.
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