General chatter - Sooner or Later ... they get it
11-06-2006, 09:20 AM
When I first started getting healthier, my family had a hard time with it. I still had two at home and one that was close by in college. They seriously did not like me eating differently than they did. It bothered my husband a great deal.
I settled in to eating just the protein and vegetables and serving salad every night. They didn't seem to notice that I didn't eat the potatoes or rice or whatever starch I'd made for them.
I ate my weird low fat food while they were at school and such.
It even bothered them if I took off to walk in the evening. Not that I was exercising, it was because I was missing. So I tried to do that while nobody was looking too.
Flash forward a couple of years. Most evenings, it's just me and DH home for dinner. I make what he wants and I eat what I want. They often overlap some ... usually the protein. But I set out his salad dressing and my low fat cottage cheese. I get him one whole grain bun and the olive oil based margarine.
I walk whenever I want, just like he watches whatever sport he wants. I wander off to the room where I keep my weights or drag some into the TV room to do arms.
Some relatives of ours are going through a very messy separation which has made us acutely aware of a married couples perceptions of each other. "What do you think when I do blah blah blah?" ... "Is life difficult for you because I blah blah blah?" ... "Do you think we've changed much?" ... and so on.
Yesterday, I was mixing my psyllium with my cranberry juice (a la Ilene) ... I asked DH if he found it awkward or embarassing that his wife was a healthfood nut who eats funny things. His answer?
"You don't eat funny things. You're healthy."
Don't despair, gals. Sooner or later they get it.
11-06-2006, 10:03 PM
Great! It sounds like he's proud of you! DH is great support. I don't know how I could do it without him.
Love the new avatar. It's so nice to see the face behind the posts. :)
11-06-2006, 10:33 PM
I am so glad that my husband supports my healthy eating. He wants to lose a few pounds and we love to go hiking and walking together. My boys are 2 and 4 and they don't really notice that they get whole wheat, multi-grain bread and NEVER white bread. It sure does feel good when you have support.
(My husband does have a weakness for icecream!)
12-12-2006, 06:15 AM
DS works in a salad dressing factory. Once in a while they can bring some home. He often tries to bring us something new or different. Last nights was a new one. He said .... "I think it even has some real food in it." :cheer:
12-12-2006, 08:34 AM
Susan , it sounds like you guys have worked it out perfectly and that your husband is super proud of you. As he most very well should be. I'm so glad he's "gotten" it.
My family has been super supportive as well. They actually think it's a riot that there mother/wife is eating so healthy. I try to feed them as much healthy stuff as I do myself, but I do make them some different things that I wouldn't touch. Although occasionally I'll have a bite or two of "their" food. My kids are actually drinking skim milk, hubby's still drinking 1%. When I want to exercise they leave me alone and know not to disturb me. It's harder on the weekends cause they're home from school and work. But for the most part it's all working out just fine. And I am very grateful.
12-12-2006, 10:22 AM
My DH asked me the other day if I thought I'd ever eat "normally"! :rofl: I asked him what he meant by that... If that means cereal for breakfast, a sandwich and a packet of crisps for lunch and some kind of hot food for dinner then I said, no, I'd never eat like that.
12-12-2006, 11:37 AM
:rofl: A few months ago my husband asked if we could join a yoga class and eat vegetarian meals during the week and relegate meat meals to the weekends ans he wanted to try and lose 10 lbs. I nearly fell off my chair as I had been trying to move us towards those two things for some time! :lol:
He always dissed yoga as a "hippie thing" until he read a book by a former pro-wrestler called "Yoga for Regular Guys". I guess he then decided that it was okay for him to do yoga after that - and there was no way I was going to discourage him! ;)
Yes, eventually they get it. :D
12-12-2006, 11:58 AM
I have been eating & cooking very healthfully for about five years--although I was making sporadic efforts for years before that (my weight issues stem from overeating and bingeing, not lack of healthy stuff :( ).
Anyway, during the past five years I have done tons of experimenting, especially using recipes from Cooking Light (my MIL renews my subscription every year for Christmas, God bless her! :) ). Despite quite a few flops (I remember the seafood lasagna that took me SIX HOURS to make and I had to pitch because no one would eat it :p ) they LOVE my healthy cooking. My girls are still only 7 and 12, so for most of their lives there has been a focus on healthy eating and exercise. My DH is really into it to, and relies on me for healthy dinners. All in all, I would say I am blessed that we are all committed to this together.
I will say, too, that if I didn't care and cooked/ate higher fat, fewer veggies, etc then they wouldn't care and would eat what I cooked. :dizzy:
12-13-2006, 12:48 AM
The rule in my house is that you either eat what I cook for dinner or you make your own food. I don't cook special meals for my SO that I can't eat myself. He is on his own for breakfast and lunch, but he'll usually eat whatever I make for dinner (unless it's scrounge night, in which case it's every man for himself). I do make sure to only make dishes that we both will like. For example, tonight we had a halibut stew that called for artichokes and olives, neither of which my SO will eat. So I subbed fennel for the artichokes and just left out the olives.
Overall he's been pretty happy with what I make for dinner. Last week I made a frittata that he liked so much he now uses it to rate all other dishes (e.g., the halibut stew was good but not as good as the frittata). He's even commented to me that one benefit of my new eating habits is that it's forced me to look for new recipes, some of which he really likes. He did complain that he was getting tired of salads, but I happen to really like my dinner salad, so I told him he can make his own side dish if he wants.
12-13-2006, 04:00 AM
My family eats pretty healthily anyway, my problem is grazing on the leftovers - every night!
Susan, I think it is so good that you and your husband have been asking each other questions about how you see each other. I think a lot of couples fall into routines and patterns and assume that nothing has changed about their partner. I feel so different about my self and my life since having kids and losing weight, both happening close together, I've already had a few big fights, ahem, I mean meaningful discussions, with my husband about us. I felt very much like he didn't know me anymore and it hadn't occurred to him to check in and catch up with my changes. I was trying to do the same with him but he can be very yes/no. After working on this solidly for the last two years, yeah, it's changed, we talk much more about all sorts of things. For me, this is has been the most important thing for us to get.