General chatter - Does this happen to anyone else?

View Full Version : Does this happen to anyone else?

11-05-2006, 06:38 PM
I had 2 friends stop by the other night and wanted to know all about how I had lost the weight. I spent 2 hrs. explaining my particular plan to them. They acted very serious about shedding the lbs. Then, I came to the computer room and my DH, son and DD visited with them. I went back in the living room and the friends were sitting, drinking beer and scarfing my DD's bag of Halloween Candy. They both admitted that they had no intention of giving up the daily drinking. I mentioned that since they admitted to drinking a 12 pack each of beer per day, that they wouldn't be able to lose weight, the way I had or any other way that I know of. I've never heard of a Beer and Candy diet. When I mentioned that they could cheaply purchase the "diet book" that I used at Walmart, I was told "oh, I hate to read". When I mentioned they could come over and walk with me each day, I was told "oh, no, I'm way too lazy to walk, but I'll follow you in my car if you want to walk a long ways". What the heck. I wanted to just say "thanks for stopping by, come back again if you are ever serious about wanting my help". I concluded that they simply aren't ready to make any type of lifestyle change at this time. It felt sorta like someone lighting up a cigarette at a "quit smoking" meeting.

11-05-2006, 06:41 PM
Ugh, how irritating. You were a lot nicer than I would have been!!!! Some friend of mine just emailed me wantingto know the ISBN number of my WW point books so she could buy them online! I told her that you should go to atleast one meeting to learn about it. It's free; why wouldn't you? People are irritating...

11-05-2006, 06:58 PM
Yes it happens. People want to lose weight until they find out that it doesn't take a pill to do so. If they are required to do any effort, they back away. They simply enjoy not exercising and eating as they do more than their desire to be healthy.

11-05-2006, 07:04 PM
This fits right in with the "I beg your pardon???" thread from last week :)

11-05-2006, 07:30 PM
Yup - happened to me not too long ago with someone I work with. She was saying how she'd really like to get healthier and lose some weight. I live near her, so I told her that i'd be happy to go for walks with her (I'll walk for hours, even if I'm not going anywhere in particular). Her reply? "Ugh, I hate walking". Oh, well, how about we go rollerblading sometime? She can't stand rollerblading on sidewalks. When I pointed out that there's a trail in town, she said it was too far away (it's across the road from our work!). Cycling? She left her bike at her parents place in another town. And, no, she couldn't possibly borrow my spare one 'cause she's used to hers and she doesn't like using road bikes, anyway.
I gave up then. I ran into her in the cafeteria area on the ferry a few days later, and I'd brought my own snacks - a healthy sandwhich, some veggie sticks, and some dried fruit, 'cause the ferry has nasty fried food. She sat down with us, with her burger, fries, and pop, and proceded to make fun of our healthy food, and kept asking if we wanted some fries.
Guess she's just not there yet.

11-05-2006, 09:14 PM
Lilybelle ~ they just wanted an easy way out! Since you didn't give them that, they went another direction, kind of joking about it, DENIAL. Don't waste another minute worrying about what they think or what they want to do with their issues. But does this mean if WE train together I have to give up my MGD's?

11-05-2006, 09:46 PM
Hey that sounds like my mother and MIL! When I started WW back in April my mom decided to join to. I thought I had a buddy, she was also going to start walking me since I can't push both of my boys in strollers by myself. Well she went to one meeting and told me she could do this on her own she didn't need anyone telling her how to lose weight. Well it is now November and I have lost 22lbs between april and aug and she has lost nothing! We never did walk. I bought a treadmill to walk on. Well I haven't been really dieting since aug and I am starting WW next week again and I aske her again, she is ho humming about it but every time she sees me she says she wishing she were smaller. Oh well, some people never change.

11-05-2006, 09:49 PM
I have relatives in southeastern Oklahoma...I think you might know them:joker:

11-05-2006, 10:37 PM
My Aunt and MIL both said they were going to start trying to lose weight and exercise when I first started changing my life. Well, they waited a yr. but they are both working on it now and have lost 23lbs. and 27lbs. I'm happy for them. When I see someone that doesn't have a care in the world if they lose weight and get healthy, I always figure it's their own personal choice. I just hate to be badgered for help and advice, and then looked at like I'm stupid for offering suggestions and encouragement that could be helpful. I guess what they wanted to hear is that I went to sleep fat one night and woke up thin the next morning.

11-05-2006, 11:51 PM
I try not to be too hard on folks, I wasn't ready for 20 years either. Let's face it, it's a lifetime of bringing healthy food for ferry rides - not many people are ready for that.

It's like the "bacon and egg" breakfast someone posted earlier this week. The chicken is interested, the pig is committed. You gotta be the pig.

Btw, Sierra, the correct response to "have some fries" is "have some of my size 6 jeans!" ;)

11-06-2006, 01:06 AM
Lily, Someone posted this elsewhere on the forum, but it really speaks for itself:

This is an excerpt from Linda Spangle's book 100 Days to Weight Loss. I think this might have been mentioned here before, but it bears repeating.

People who are interested in losing weight:
1. Stick with it until something better comes along
2. Take action only if they “feel like” doing it
3. Need to see results in order to stay motivated
4. Blame people or circumstances for their struggles
5. Easily give up when the face challenges.

People who are committed to losing weight:
1. Stick with their plans no matter what
2. Take action whether they feel like doing it or not
3. Assume that if they stay motivated results will follow
4. Take responsibility for their own actions
5. Keep going in spite of challenges and setbacks

Gary--well, maybe you should switch from your MGD to a Michelob Ultra!!! That's what I drink now if I need a beer (but I'm still a cabernet drinker!).

11-06-2006, 02:35 AM
allinel, Thanks for the post. I can certainly see that they aren't committed.

Gary, I didn't even know what MGD is. lol

11-06-2006, 02:56 AM
I have a work colleague who I chat with a lot and talking about my diet, and she always has a reason why she can't lose weight.... lol "my job forces me to sit on my butt all day" or "I don't have enough time" or "we don't have healthy food options at work" or "i can't afford to go on a diet" (that last one is silly, but try to argue, and get a lecture lol).

heh, I think this is a north america-wide phenomenon (possibly more widespread, but not sure). We are on this thing where it's normal and expected to want to lost weight, as we are generally getting bigger and bigger. That's why food companies are getting pushed to make things healthier, and why so many companies are getting sued (in the USA at least, no offence, but americans are kinda sue-happy). A little off topic there, but what I am getting at is that lots of people say they want to lose weight, but it's a lot easier to make excuses or blame being overweight on someone/something else than it is to do something about it.

11-06-2006, 09:54 AM
allinel, Thanks for the post. I can certainly see that they aren't committed.

Gary, I didn't even know what MGD is. lol

Lilybelle~ It is Miller Genuine Draft, I forgot where you lived for a moment ;) ya'll bein used ta drinkin BUDS while watchin' NASCAR and all....kidding!!!! ;)

11-06-2006, 10:18 AM
I see this professionally ALL the time. Women say, "I want to try to breastfeed" and then as we talk about it, come up with 25 reasons why it won't work.

My private rule is that more than one reason = EXCUSES. If people really want to do something they will find a way.

Some of what you said percolated in. They will find you again when they are ready. And in the meantime, their excuses will sustain their lifestyle.

11-06-2006, 01:47 PM
Thanks Gary, for clarifying that. I think they do sell that here, but I don't drink any alcohol due to my liver problems. But, I'm sure my DH would have known what it meant. LOL. He does like the Buds and Nascar. LOL

11-06-2006, 02:54 PM
What I have learned from my mother in law is that when people like that start talking to you - they don't really want help at all. They want someone to listen to them, feel sorry for their plight, and agree with them that there is nothing that can be done.
None of this is true, of course, but that is all they are actually asking for.

I have yet to learn how to deal with this. The "smile and nod" method usually works while it's happening ... but once they are gone you feel like somehow you have failed yourself or enabled them somehow. I still think it's easier than butting heads with someone who has no intention of changing.

11-06-2006, 04:00 PM
midwife, I know how you feel. When I worked as an OB nurse, I spent a lot of time helping mom's with breastfeeding. Quite often when I came back the next night to work, they were using a bottle. Of course it is a personal choice, but I saw very few that really wanted to work at it.

11-06-2006, 05:07 PM
Same thing happens to me at work about 7 of us started out together, I started counting calories and working out, 2 just started working out 5-6 days /week (but didn't give up any of their food), 1 works out a couple days a week (but she still works out ) 1 claims she watches what she eats, but drinks 4-5 beers a night and her healthy food = 1 sandwich 3 tablespoons of mayo 5 slices of cheese/5 slices of bologna layered (that is just her snack!) the others just liked the idea but not the work. All complain to me that I have lost weight and they haven't and don't understand why. I just tell them count calories and exercise, that is all I do!

11-06-2006, 05:19 PM
OMG, jcatron, I've never heard of anyone using 5 slices of lunchmeat or 5 slices of cheese on a sandwich. That doesn't even sound good.

11-06-2006, 06:20 PM
I really think that sometimes people think if they hear your plan they will lose weight by osmosis. The minute you look to them to exert energy they are like, um NO WAY! People can be so lazy sometimes, it drives me nuts. You are a lot nicer than i would have been.

11-06-2006, 09:38 PM
Thanks Gary, for clarifying that. I think they do sell that here, but I don't drink any alcohol due to my liver problems. But, I'm sure my DH would have known what it meant. LOL. He does like the Buds and Nascar. LOL