First of all I wasn't sure if I should post this here or in general chatter, having said this here goes:
Oprah's show today was on women who have had weight loss surgery and have lost a lot of weight quickly. These women including Carie Wilson, went on to have other "addictions" after losing their weight. 3 were alcoholics and one was a sex addict as well as an alcoholic.
And naturally she had on a psychologist who says these women never dealt with the issues of why they were so overweight in the first place and so they traded one addiction (food) for another. Of course they later on said this can just as easily happen to women who have lost weight the old-fashioned way, as I think most of us here are doing, myself included.
Now I've thought about my weight endlessly for the past 20 years and I think I pretty much know where it stems from. You know the usual stuff, molested as a kid and so on and so on. I never per se confronted the abuser and all as I didn't and still don't think that is necessary and it absolutely will never happen and yes I still hold a lot of anger for it taking place and anger at my mom for not taking better care of me and blah, blah, blah. So is knowing where it came from dealing with it?
Then of course there's this weird thing about me that I gained majority of my weight as soon as I got engaged. When I met my hubby I was about 129 and I steadily got heavier and heavier ever since. Part of me thinks this was to stop me from being promiscuous as I was getting into a commited relationship. I know that people who have been molested many times are promiscuous and that was the case with me, but thankfully not terribly if that makes any sense? I can't help but wonder if like the girl on Oprah who became a sex addict because she loved all that new found attention, what I will do with that attention. And it's crossed my mind before as I tried to figure out where all this weights come from. But I absolutely adore my husband to pieces and my family and there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that I would EVER do to jeopardize that. This man has loved and adored me at 129 lbs and 287 lbs. But the show did get me thinking....
Just wondering what your thoughts are on this? And does anyone know anything of trading one "addiction" for another. And how are any of you having a "hard time" dealing with your weight loss, if that's not too personal? I just thought it would be a good conversation starter.
Well thanks for reading this looong post.
10-24-2006, 07:38 PM
Oh wow this is a great question! I am almost at a loss of what to say but want to give you a :hug: I am almost wondering what my new addiction "could" be. I also get scared about the attention thing too for reasons of which you said. I have lost weight since being with my spouse though. I think I gained weight to protect myself and I feel like I finally found my protector. I am interested to see what other people have to say about this. I am very loyal I do know this and I will never cheat on hubby. Hopefully just knowing that I look great will be enough "boost" for me!
10-24-2006, 08:06 PM
I saw the show today. I have pondered these same questions. Since reaching goal, I haven't turned to alcohol, drugs or sex to fulfill my addictive need. I sure hope I never do. The only problem I have with my weight loss, is still seeing myself as heavier than I actually am. I know that while I was obese, I was very depressed. It was a vicious cycle, I'd eat because I was depressed and get more depressed because of my weight. Everyone that knows me says I am happier and much easier to get along with now. This show had me worried too. Are we really getting rid of our addiction or just trading it for another? I like to think that there are a lot of people who lose weight and keep it off without having further problems as a result. Since I already have liver problems, any alcohol would kill me. I take so many meds now that I surely would never try illegal drugs. Can't see myself becoming a nymphomaniac at 46 yrs. old. I think my food addiction has been traded for an addiction of posting here at 3FC's. yep, I can live with this.
10-24-2006, 08:16 PM
Lily -- That's a great addiction.
I'm wondering if I would ever get addicted to exercise... I've always hated it, but am sloooowwwwllllyyyy been having a turn around... That would be a better addiction, I think!
10-24-2006, 08:22 PM
First of all, I'm real sorry to hear about your liver problems and all the meds that you are taking.
The depression/weight thing is definitely a vicious cycle that I'm sure many of us know all to well. And I also think that the past few years the overeating was in part due to just habit. I also know for me there is nooo way I would ever turn to alcohol, or drugs or sex. But I was indeed thinking what could be the new addiction for me. But let me tell you you have eased my mind - I laughed when I saw that you wrote the only addiction you traded for was posting on 3fc, that seems to be the way I am headed as well, worse things I can think of - this suits me just fine. Thanks for your input. I always enjoy reading your posts.
10-24-2006, 08:43 PM
Besides food, my other "lovey" is shopping. Under the right conditions I can get the same buzz from retail therapy as from warm chocolate chip cookies and milk. This is why I don't go out for lunch. Since I don't want to go to a restaurant to eat, I would use that time to spend money on shopping instead. So during these last few months, I have brown bagged and stayed in for lunch.
10-24-2006, 08:56 PM
Thanks fed-up, this is an interesting topic and thanks for starting it.
Kateful, I could definitely go over-board on the shopping now, but I can't afford to. I have bought a lot of clothes and have gotten a lot from friends and family that they can no longer wear. If I ever win the lotto, I'll need a storage building to hold all my clothes, I'll shop so much. LOL
Wyllen, I'd like to think that I'm addicted to exercise, but it hasn't happened for me yet either.
10-24-2006, 10:28 PM
Actually excessive shopping is something I have a bit of a problem with as well. I definitely get a "buzz" when I make a purchase and I definitely spend way over my means. Credit cards are not our friends.
Now, exercise that would be a good one, hey you never know stranger things have been known to happen.
10-24-2006, 11:30 PM
I think my food addiction has been traded for an addiction of posting here at 3FC's.
Me too! I actually have to force myself to limit the time I spend here or I'd spend all day reading and posting messages.
I only caught half the Oprah episode but my first (unhealthy) thought was to wonder how Carie Wilson fit all that alcohol into her diet. Seriously, she said she drank a bottle of wine and ten martinis a day! I've had to practically eliminate alcohol almost entirely from my diet. I wish I could drink even just one glass of wine day. (Plus, with cutting out alcohol and my lower body weight, 2 glasses of wine and I'm completely snockered--I'd be passed out before I could finish an entire bottle, not too mention 10 martinis...but I suppose if I were to work up to it slowly). I don't know, maybe she didn't eat anything all day.
10-24-2006, 11:59 PM
Glad you posted this question! I was wondering what everyone watching thought about it. My question is...do you have to have something deep seated wrong to be obese? I don't know what mine is!!! I grew up learning unhealthy eating habits. Food was a reward, it was comfort, it was something social to do. But, I don't remember anything bad happening to me to spur it. What do you think? I'm guessing a gardening and decorating addict, if I had to replace it. Maybe if I got my rear into that garden more, I could lose a few lbs!!!!
10-25-2006, 02:09 AM
I also wonder the same thing katiesmom! I grew up with healthy role models, eating whole foods, no fast food, no take out. Food was nourishment, exercise was something we did for fun. I think perhaps I've just gotten lazy and offtrack with what I want with my life, and gained the weight from "snoozing" through my life.
As for trading in for a new addiction. Sometimes I feel like I'm obsessed with counting calories and eating good foods.. so my food addiction? Not gone, just changed.
10-25-2006, 07:34 AM
Bluetoblue: I kept saying the same thing to my daughter, how could she have lost so much weight drinking all that alcohol - it's so high in calories and I don't know if you saw the part where they showed you that once you've had gastric bypass it reaches the bloodstream so much quicker than normal and therefore you do get affected much quicker - real scary to me.
Katiesmom: I really do think bad and unhealthy eating habits growing up is a reason enough to be overweight. Bad habits are hard to break. And by the way I also love to decorate and was quite obsessed with it for awhile a few years back. I always thought that one of the reasons I was so into it was because I couldn't buy myself nice clothing, so I bought nice stuff for my home.
Swimgirl: You do sound like you had the right stuff growing up nutrition wise. It's just so darn easy to fall off track. And I know what you mean about being obsessed with counting calories and eating healthy foods, I'm only doing this a short time and I am already consumed with it.
Maybe Oprah should have us all on and we could talk about it for an hour or so and show them all what some healthy addictions are. I wouldn't mind a free trip to Chicago and I'd love to be on her show!!!
10-25-2006, 09:32 AM
I also am at the computer more it gives me something to do with my hands. If I had the money thought I would rather be shopping.
10-25-2006, 10:04 AM
I don't consider myself addicted to food. Any food. Sure, I joke about it sometimes ("addicted to chocolate; chocoholic" etc.) but I don't see how someone can be addicted to something they ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE in order to LIVE. So yeah, chocolate isn't NECESSARY to live. But FOOD itself, IS. Alcohol isn't NECESSARY to live. Neither is cocaine, sex, gambling, shopping (well, maybe shopping, LOL!) etc. So I don't consider myself addicted to food, therefore I cannot trade "one addiction for another."
I know why I am overweight. Many times I eat too much because the food is THAT GOOD (like Thanksgiving, for instance). Sometimes I eat too much because I'm bored. Sometimes I am depressed, sometimes I am busy (mindless eating while working), etc. But the MAIN reason I overeat is because I eat TOO FAST. My stomach doesn't have time to register I'M FULL & I just keep shoveling it in. PORTION CONTROL is a big ol boogey-man to me, as well as "I better eat now because I might not have the chance to later..." :rolleyes:
I think a lot of people say they're addicted to food because they really AREN'T facing certain demons in their lives; skeletons in their closets... by being "fat" some people keep others at a distance, therefore eating more & more to "climb inside themselves to hide". I'm sure there are a dozenillion excuses out there. We all have our monsters.
Being overweight is different for everyone, yet the same. 30 lbs, 50 lbs, 150 lbs, etc. But I sincerely believe that people who are severely obese, such as 500, 600, 700 lbs are definitely NOT dealing with something else in their life. And I simply cannot imagine living like that; not being able to move, or get out of a chair by yourself, or climb a flight of stairs. I'm just 30 or 40 pounds overweight, and I get winded climbing a flight of stairs! And it truly saddens me to know that there are people out there who literally cannot get off their couch. Then I start thinking "well, you goofball! you CAN get off the couch!!!! - so DO IT! get off the couch! Go on now! GO! -Go to the gym! work that butt off! You've done it before, you can do it again! WHAT IS STOPPING YOU????" (right now it's an injury, but you know what I mean!!!)
Somehow, being overweight shadows all my other "life struggles." I wonder why THAT is?
10-25-2006, 11:14 AM
And by the way I also love to decorate and was quite obsessed with it for awhile a few years back. I always thought that one of the reasons I was so into it was because I couldn't buy myself nice clothing, so I bought nice stuff for my home.
Fed up, that's it!!! Since I think I don't look good in ANYTHING, I make my home look good. Looking at it in print is pathetic, but it is the truth! I am working toward me looking as good as my house.
10-25-2006, 11:47 AM
I did not see Oprah, but this is a very interesting topic.
SwimGirl, I can totally relate!! I've been on WW for 7 weeks now, and I've become completely obsessed with food, healthy choices, but food nonetheless. Tracking every point really puts things into perspective.
But how far is too far? I mean, I worry that maybe I'm too obsessed and when I get to my goal I won't be able to stop.
My aunt recently told me a story that a co-worker of hers shared with her. The Co-worker said that she had a 22 year-old daughter who joined WW. After reaching her goal, she just kept going, she ended up becoming anorexic and passing. That is some scary business! How do you prevent yourself from becoming that way? If you have an addictive personality (which I do) how do you make yourself stop?
I don't know if any of that made sense, but those are the thoughts I've been battling recently.
10-25-2006, 12:13 PM
Oh it's definitely it, as I said in a previous post shopping is also one of the things I could get into trouble with. I just was not able to shop for myself. People are always complimenting me on my home and since I am on such a tight budget it took that much more effort to make my home look so good. But I am looking forward to doing that shopping for me now, my body that is, not my home.
Chanty: I am also soooo obsessed with the food after only 7 short weeks, obviulsy in a good way and my kids keep kidding around with me (but I think they really mean it) that mom we don't want you getting anorexic on us. Anorexia for me - NEVER going to happen.
10-25-2006, 12:19 PM
I did watch Oprah yesterday and it got me thinking. I use to hate to shop, but now it seems I cannot stop. I have traded addictions. When I get hungry or depressed I go shopping, just to spend money. It does not have to be for me. I get that high just by spending money, even though I don't have it. I am so far behind on all my bills and I just don't seem to care as long as I can go shopping.
I had a garage sell Saturday and almost everythings I sold was new or had only been wore once. The money I got from the yard sell was suppose to pay credit card bills but instead I went shopping. I believe this addiction is worse than over eating. This effects everyone in my house not just me. I was telling my husband about it and the show and the first thing he said is well at least you are not an alcoholic, but I don't know if one is better than the other.
I guess the weight issue is just a side effect of our addictive personalities.
10-25-2006, 12:31 PM
"fed"up: I know myself and anorexia won't happen to me either, but having dealt with being chubby my entire life and finally making a change and seeing results, I guess I just get concerned that I will become too obsessed and take it too far. I'm probably worrying over nothing. My aunt said that being obsessed with counting points and food is how WW works. It gets you thinking. I just think that some ppl would take it too far, you know?
Gettingsmaller: I know where you're coming from hun!! I have a compulsive spending problem and it's very bad. Before my husband and I were married, I got a new credit card that had a $3500 limit on it, I maxed it behind his back in about 3 months. Since, I've managed to get myself into about $8000 worth of debt, and I have absolutely nothing to show for it. I, too, didn't spend it on myself, I just like buying things. The feeling of a purchase, giving out presents. Since then, I told my husband and we're working on paying down our combined debt in credit cards. It's a hard thing to deal with and you can get yourself into a lot of trouble very quickly.
What I did is basically gave up my right to money. I let my husband control the money now and I did it by choice. If I have access to the ATM card, I will nickel and dime us to death. I have a problem and I'm working on it.
I don't know what your situation is like, but maybe you need to sit down and discuss this with your husband, you'll probably feel better after doing so and then you can come up with a plan together, write out a budget etc.
10-26-2006, 01:08 AM
Chanty - For me I don't think it's possible to lose weight without becoming "obsessed" with calories and healthy foods. It takes very little for me to get off track, so I have to stay focused.. or "obsessed". I don't think anorexia is going to be something thats going to happen to me either, I just don't have it in me anymore... I went thru extensive counselling for my eating disorders as a younger gal. Somehow I've learnt to love myself.
I'm so cheap that getting into shopping not really gonna happen. I used to work in a clothing store, and wow.. yah shopping was an easy thing to do. I used to work with a girl who was addicted to shopping, food AND alcohol. I can't imagine what that would be like!
10-26-2006, 09:53 AM
SwimGirl: I guess there is a fine line between being conscious of what you're eating and being obsessed with it. I agree with you, I have to maintain my obsession in order to succeed. I can't see myself becoming obsessed to the point of anorexia, but it is still a frightening thought.
I think it's pretty great that you are able to talk so openly about your previous eating disorder. I'm confidant that there are a lot of girls out there that are reading these posts and not necessarily posting anything.
I guess the point is, it's okay to "obsess" over what you're eating, b/c it actually drives you forward.
10-26-2006, 10:11 AM
You know I was just wondering if we (non-WLS) folks are actually able to switch our so called addiction (and I'm not sure that it is an addiction) to the "addiction" of becoming obsessed with healthy food and counting calories and portion control, etc., where as the WLS folks don't get that chance. I mean they are forced to reduce their calories by eating less, but it can be less of lasagne or corned-beef sandwiches, etc. When they're full they stop, period, end of subject - they have no choice. I am by no means saying that they have it easy. I've never been in that position and I certainly CAN NOT speak from experience. And of course it's just a generalization, I wouldn't be surprised if there were many WLS people who do become obsessive with the food stuff. But they've never really been given the chance to get the portion control, calorie counting, etc.. obsession. I don't know it was just a thought.
10-26-2006, 10:20 AM
"fed"up: forgive me for asking but what does "WLS" mean?
10-26-2006, 10:45 AM
"fed"up: forgive me for asking but what does "WLS" mean?
Weight Loss Surgery
10-26-2006, 11:25 AM
In all the weight loss tv shows I've seen, and when I hear others talk about losing weight.. I always hear the same thing.. Basically that you can't lose the weight until you figure out what caused you to gain it, and most of the time it's something big. Can you gain weight from just not giving yourself and your body the attention it needs? Our world is such a busy one, that nutrition becomes something very few people I know think about. Mostly I don't want to have anything WRONG with me because I'm overweight, and I feel like I SHOULD from watching weight loss shows! Now I don't know if any of that makes sense - it's very early in the morning for this girl!
Chanty - by talking about past eating disorders openly, I think it takes away their power. I'll also talk about most of my experiences openly, they made me who I am today and I kinda like her!
10-26-2006, 11:46 AM
SwimGirl, I'm very open about my experiences as well, and I agree it helps to talk about them. Some people just aren't able to.
Eventhough my upbringing was a little rough, I can honestly say I wouldn't change a thing about my past if I could. As you mentioned, you are who you are based on your experience.