Weight Loss Support - Why didnt I care?!




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Ready2ShedLBS
10-24-2006, 06:30 PM
Why in the world didnt i care about my body earlier in life? Its not because I wasnt taught how to, my mother lived in the gym. We had healthy food, for the most part but I was just eat and eat ( more emotional than anything). She would always tell me I was "ruining my body" but I honestly and truely didnt care. I was fat, I liked to eat, and if people didnt like it then they didnt have to look at me. It wasnt until about 3-4 years ago that I really decided that I cared. Now.. that I am almost to goal I did "ruin" my body, I cant blame it on " oh I have 2 kids" I mean sure, it contributed, but I was fat before I ever had kids, I was just fatterrrr after them and thats because I thought it was a ticket to eat and eat and eat. Ive never had a healthy relationship with food, and I probably still dont, only difference is now, I control the food, it doesnt control me. I remember I would eat until it hurt, and I would TELL MYSELF.. " I dont care how fat I get" WTF? I know that I can only embrace my body and move forward, but I hate that I did that to myself, and the loose skin that I have in my inner thighs , my stomach and my arms are reminders of that everyday. Really Really Sucks. I am greatful I learned how to love myself before it was too late. Ahh.. had to get that out


Jasmine31
10-24-2006, 06:44 PM
SOunds like mom was right! ;)

callystia
10-24-2006, 06:50 PM
I sympathize, chica. I don't have much loose skin, but I've got enough to remind me, and the stretch marks are a horror. :(


sotypical
10-24-2006, 06:55 PM
I am with you on this, I am too young for strech marks and hangy skin... I just hope that when I am done I dont have too much lose skin

flxthct107
10-24-2006, 07:00 PM
I wonder the same thing sometimes. I think I would look at my loose skin a lot different if I knew it was from creating my daughter instead of knowing it was was from eating like a pig for so many years. I'm saving up for plastic surgery to get rid of some of it when I hit goal and it really depresses me. If I wouldn't have let myself get so out of control I could be using all of that money for something else like vacation, a house, etc. I have to remind myself to just let it go though because it is not something I can take back.

Ready2ShedLBS
10-24-2006, 07:10 PM
i dont have much skin, but its enough.. my stomach is like WHOA, and I know thats from my babies for the most part. i definitely would benefit from a tummy tuck but that will be in the DISTANT future..lol unless i win the lotto. I already had my boobs done because they looked like flat tires.. the tummy is the only other thing i consider fixing. The trade off for the scars on the legs and arms isnt worth it because there isnt enough skin there to justify it, however, my stomach is a different story.

Jasmine31
10-24-2006, 07:24 PM
What size bra did you need before you gained all the weight? What I mean is did you gain a bunch in your boobs? Or were you big before and now that you lost you lost your boobs too? You know what I mean?

Heather
10-24-2006, 08:25 PM
Wow. I ask myself this question a lot these days. I am only now starting to begin to understand that I was so hard on myself. I wonder why I let myself get morbidly obese and stay that way! Why did I never learn moderation in food and exercise???

I don't know, but I do know that beating myself up about it doesn't help. I did it, and there are consequences. But at least I did something about it and can reverse a goodly bit of the damage!

lilybelle
10-24-2006, 09:31 PM
I have also asked myself this question many times. The only thing I can think of was that I got too busy with life. Too busy with bad relationships. Too busy with career. Too busy with kids. Taking care of myself just wasn't the priority that it should have been. When faced with serious illness, I realized that if I didn't start taking care of myself first, that I would no longer be able to care for anyone or anything again. It's hard to come to this realization, but for me, it got me headed in the right direction.
I enjoyed eating and for a long time, I thought it made me "happy". I hated when others (especially family) would talk about my weight. It hurt so much. I also sometimes think that if I had taken care of my body when I was young, that I wouldn't have this loose skin now. But hind sight is always 20/20 and it was necessary for me to just move on and be the best that I can be now.

Stevi-rocks
10-24-2006, 10:15 PM
I believe our cultures have ALOT to do with our "not thinking" or "not caring". I went to Disneyland here in CA on Sun. Being its off season not alot of Tourists where there (out of the states) Generally there are alot. I found myself absolutely AMAZED at the sheer quantity of obese to severly obese people (mostly women but certainly not all) that where there. If I where to geuss, I'd say 1 in 3 where VERY overweight. The big "WHY" is all the over the top, huge portion, highest fat content possible, convienience foods. THIS is our NORMAL. Granted, I was very pleasantly surprised to see fresh fruit all around and a few salads, I actually HAD choices. Instead of having to go out of our way to gain weight, we have to go that extra mile to be healthy. Its a shame. IMHO it should be the direct opposite.

rockinrobin
10-24-2006, 10:57 PM
This is a great question, and I have asked myself it very often. If only I had stopped at one cookie instead of the whole bag, one slice of pizza instead of three, one serving of chicken instead of 3 and so on and so on and so on.
I just was not thinking of the consequences - I'm not sure why I wasn't but I wasn't. It makes no sense to me at all how I could eat my way to being so darn overweight, but I did and now I'm paying the price. What in the world was I thinking and how could I care so little about myself?? We're given one body in this world and I totally abused that body. I always thought of myself as a fairly intelligent person, but how could I have been so unbelivably stupid?How could I have been so careless and disrespectful to myself and what was given to me? Uch..... I gotta end this post, cause I could just go on and on and I'm making myself sick.

Ready2ShedLBS
10-26-2006, 11:31 PM
What size bra did you need before you gained all the weight? What I mean is did you gain a bunch in your boobs? Or were you big before and now that you lost you lost your boobs too? You know what I mean?
hmm.. well since I cant remember a time I wasnt fat.. I always wore a C, and then.. when I lost like the first I dont know.. TON.. heeh ( 95lbs) I had like flaps of skin.. it was awful. An A cup. of skin. Blah.. glad I had a rich fiancee at the time.. hehe

This is a great question, and I have asked myself it very often. If only I had stopped at one cookie instead of the whole bag, one slice of pizza instead of three, one serving of chicken instead of 3 and so on and so on and so on.
I just was not thinking of the consequences - I'm not sure why I wasn't but I wasn't. It makes no sense to me at all how I could eat my way to being so darn overweight, but I did and now I'm paying the price. What in the world was I thinking and how could I care so little about myself?? We're given one body in this world and I totally abused that body. I always thought of myself as a fairly intelligent person, but how could I have been so unbelivably stupid?How could I have been so careless and disrespectful to myself and what was given to me? Uch..... I gotta end this post, cause I could just go on and on and I'm making myself sick.


Glad Im not the only one that just gets totally disgusted lol

midwife
10-27-2006, 09:07 AM
Great thought-provoking questions. So many people make choices that are destructive either immediately or later on (thinking about my patient who made yet another baby with an abusive partner!). Ours is physical and the evidence is external. Or is it? I fear some of the worst damage is in places I will never see: heart, colon, arteries. Our fat is an external manifestation of the damage we are doing to our organs. I try to be very happy about that! It grabbed my attention and forced me to make changes that will result in external changes, but more importantly, internal changes. Maybe add years to my life. What is the value of that? IMMEASURABLE!

There are worse sequela from choices in life. Hep C or HIV from IV drug use. Sharing custody of your beloved child with a loser sperm donor. Never seeing how healthy choices can lower your risk of chronic diseases.

Ready2Shed, I have watched your journey with jaw-dropping awe. This probably doesn't help, but I think this journey SHAPES us in more important ways than our abs and buns. Self-discipline, cardio activity, certainty that we can follow through with our wishes and desires. I think you are a remarkable person BECAUSE of the journey you have been on. If none of us had ever been fat, we would not have those "benefits"--so to speak.

It is part of who we are.

Our bodies can heal in so many ways. I know it is frustrating that the skin won't go back. But maybe your arteries have. Your colon!! (What an image! Sorry if you are eating!) You have added years to your life.

3Beans
10-27-2006, 09:15 AM
I've been overweight since about puberty. At first I was just kinda chubby but that was enough to get picked on occasionally. Then I got a little bigger just as other kids were starting to date. I was less successful and started feeling less attractive. I was already 'the fat girl.'

In retrospect, I still could've turned things around at this point. I was only 150 or so. But instead, to protect myself, I grew a thick skin and decided I didn't care what others thought. Also, I rationalized, I'm an intellectual person, not some typical shallow girl, and cultivating my mind is more important than taking care of my body. It wasn't so much that I didn't care. It was more like, not doing anything about my increasing weight was part of my armor, and I was afraid to make myself vulnerable and humble by admitting this was becoming a problem.

With more time and more weight I realized that it was starting to interfere with my life. I also smoked a pack a day until about 3 1/2 years ago. The extra load I was carrying coupled with the lung damage was making hard just to get through a day. The final straw was a bad breakup with one of those jerks who thinks fat women have lower expectations -- I'm sure some of you are familiar with the type.

Well, now I care! I've been smoke-free since January '03. I joined a gym a month later and have been exercising regularly and loving it ever since. My weight's changing a little more slowly than the other stuff, but I'm so much more healthy and fit than before, I quite honestly wouldn't be crushed if I maintained here forever...although I am still trying!

I also have a great man who loves me mind and body. I know it's the healthy spirit I exude now that won him and not my new figure, but the two definitely go together.

Thanks for starting this thread. This is definintely something a lot of us had thought about and it feels good to share! :hug: