100 lb. Club - This is the last one!




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LivingWater
10-20-2006, 12:30 PM
Do you ever fall into the, "this is the last one", lie? Many times I'll have something I shouldn't and tell myself it's the last one. I won't have another for a long time, but then guess what, I have another last one.

Or I'll tell myself I'm beginning the diet tomorrow (totally sure I will) and decide it's o.k. to splurge today, since again, it's my last day.

Am I the only one who does this? Has anyone overcome this way of thinking?


Glory87
10-20-2006, 12:43 PM
I used to do that all the time. I used to think, "wow, I won't have McDonalds anymore as soon as I start this diet, I better get it today and enjoy it." I used to start new diets about once a month, I would be full of excitement, have all these plans to be "perfect" to eat exactly right, to exercise every day...they rarely lasted more than 2-3 days.

My real "last time" was completely different. I didn't start it "tomorrow" I started it that day, that instant. I don't know what made me overcome that feeling - I had been browsing through a book at the bookstore (Super Foods Rx: 14 Foods That Will Save Your Life (http://www.amazon.com/SuperFoods-Rx-Fourteen-Foods-Change/dp/0060535687/sr=8-1/qid=1161358933/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-3166186-2132141?ie=UTF8&s=books) and it was like I grabbed an electric fence. In those few moments, I realized why I had failed before and realized what I had to do to succeed. As soon as I knew it, I wanted to start it right away.

I wish I could bottle the feeling and give it to everyone who struggles to start!

Jasmine31
10-20-2006, 01:35 PM
That used to be me to, pigging out one last time, etc. But what I decided to do is make this a new lifestyle change. I still allow myself my once a week to eat out. I look forward to that day. :D If I told myself I could never have it again I would not stay on plan. Most my other days I am pretty good with eating. I have a few days where I slouch a bit but still stay within a certain calorie range. The cal counting has really helped me cause I can still have something I want, like enchiladas or tacos, I just need to watch the calories with it, use less cheese, or low fat etc. ;)


nelie
10-20-2006, 01:51 PM
Actually I'm going the opposite route. I told my DF that after the wedding that there is no more watching what I eat, no more exercising! Ok that is a lie. I've allowed myself a bit of leniency as I always tend to do but I've been trying to keep myself on track for my wedding. This next month in particular I want to buckle down because I have less than a month until my wedding. After the wedding, I plan to maybe relax myself a little but not too much. I don't want to gain weight, I want to just not have to worry about being photographed and looking good in a strapless gown.

Really though I never tell myself "I start tomorrow". If I'm not eating as I should, then I start changing that this moment. Some days I fail at changing this moment but it doesn't stop me from trying. Last week in particular was a challenge for me. This week is a bit easier.

What really kills me though is if I did eat right during the times I wasn't eating right, how much weight would I have lost? I could've probably been at goal by now but I can't dwell on that. I just know that my chances of losing the excess fat are higher when I eat right and exercise regularly than if I'm not really watching what I eat and exercise every now and then.

fiddler
10-20-2006, 02:20 PM
I used to do exactly what you do. I finally realized the key to success for me was telling myself that it was not the last time I was ever going to have a [fill in the blank]. Once I changed my thinking that way, I just didn't want it as much. I still keep all those kinds of food in my house, and if I ever really want to have some, I do. But mostly I am having to throw them away because they are passing their "use by" dates. Foods just aren't as attractive when they aren't "forbidden," IMHO.

beautifulone
10-20-2006, 04:07 PM
I used to do that so often that it became ALL THE TIME! And I would buy a box of cookies, pie, fried foods... so many unhealthy foods. Sometimes I would even say, "well this is my last one [binge] so I'll make it grand!". So yes... I can understand and relate to where you're coming from!

I don't remember what changed. I think I started going to the gym before I started cutting foods out because I have an easier time eating healthy when I am exercising consistently. Then slowly, whenever I was at the grocery store... I would think, "But I just lost 2 lbs, I don't want to sabotage that!". That was a big thing for me... I don't want to gain back what I have lost so far, even though it's not a large amount right now. Once I was able to cut down buying those foods, I began to start reading ingredient lists again and since many junk/unhealthy foods have loads of salt, sugar, and artificial ingredients, I began to stay away from them... so that's another motivating factor for me in addition to the weight loss since I try to eat unprocessed and wholesome foods.

Everyone's different so I won't suggest anything specific - just the idea of taking it slowly... small steps, one step at a time... I like to say, one CHOICE at a time is what it comes down to. Those choices begin to culminate and soon enough, you've made big changes to your life! :)

Good luck - you can definitely do this! Keep coming to 3FC if you can, I find being here helps a lot! ;)

Meg
10-20-2006, 04:29 PM
Sigh ... so many of us are BLACK and WHITE people ... we're either GOOD or BAD ... ON or OFF the diet (usually way, way off :p ) ... we're perfect or we've thrown in the towel.

Like the other wise posters have said, this is for life and no one is ever going to be perfect for life. We need to stop looking at eating and exercise in black and white; it's all shades of gray, just like real life.

For me, there aren't any more stops and restarts. I started the last diet of my life on June 1, 2001 and it's never going to end. No do overs, no re-starts, no breaks, no quitting. This is for life in every sense of the word. :)

So do I screw up? Absolutely! Do I quit as a result? Never!

For me there aren't any more 'last suppers' because there's no quitting. If I mess up - and it happens all the time - I stop, pick myself up, and just keep on going. I don't wait for the next meal, or day, or horrors! week or month to get back on track. Honestly, there's not that much damage you can do if you limit it to one event. ;)

I read something once that really made an impact on me and I think it applies here:

The only way you can fail to reach your goal is to quit before you get there.

If every one of us here never gives up, never quits, and never has another 'last supper' only to start all over again, we'll all reach our goals. Guaranteed! And how cool would that be?? :D

LivingWater
10-20-2006, 08:51 PM
Thanks for the enouragement. :grouphug: I think I do need to stop the, "it's the last one" mentality and realize it's not and doesn't have to be. Balance, ugh, such a hard concept for a natural extremist...

Oh and the forbidden food thing is right on. I really do think I want it more if I know I can't have it, and that drives me nuts. :)

beautifulone
10-21-2006, 02:38 PM
Honestly, there's not that much damage you can do if you limit it to one event.

Meg that is unequivocally true and you worded it so well. Thank you! It's so logical but I've never thought of it that way, and I actually feel much better now. I sometimes felt like everything starts to chip away and fall apart when I falter or fall off track.

Meg
10-21-2006, 03:08 PM
:hug: Sometimes I think we're our own worst enemies, you know? If you went over to the Maintainers Forum and started a thread asking who's perfect and never messes up, I think you'd be met with deafening silence. :lol: One unplanned moment and we convince ourselves that we've been bad and blown it totally and we're doomed to be fat forever ... when in reality it's only a little blip on the radar.

What makes the difference between a successful loser (and maintainer) and someone who's forever stopping and restarting is what happens AFTER the mistake. Do you stop, figure out what went wrong and how to prevent it, and then pick up and keep going right then and there? Or do you wallow in guilt and recriminations, beat yourself up, and eat everything in sight because you'll start all over again ______ (tomorrow, Monday, next week, next month, the first of the year :eek: )? And this time you'll be perfect! :rolleyes:

Mel, one of our mods, has an awesome signature line: Failure isn't falling down; it's staying down. :)

Heather
10-21-2006, 03:26 PM
What makes the difference between a successful loser (and maintainer) and someone who's forever stopping and restarting is what happens AFTER the mistake. Do you stop, dust yourself off, figure out what went wrong and how to prevent it, and then pick up and keep going right then and there? Or do you wallow in guilt and recriminations, beat yourself up, and eat everything in sight because you'll start all over again ______ (tomorrow, Monday, next week, next month, the first of the year )? And this time you'll be perfect!

I find this to be so true! I learn more about what went wrong by a) owning up to the fact that I ate more than I wanted to and b) reflecting on why on earth I did it in the first place.

Now, I view these little missteps as learning experiences. If I can learn from it, maybe it won't happen again. And mentally, that's a world away from where I used to be, which was "well, had some cookies, might as well have some more" OR "Woe is me, I have no willpower." It used to be a binge was all bad. Now a binge is an opportunity to get it right the next time.

Course, it helps that I also compare my current binges to my previous ones and generally find that I don't let go to nearly the same degree as before. In fact, a binge now is less than I used to eat on a daily basis before!

LivingWater
10-21-2006, 06:02 PM
Do you stop, figure out what went wrong and how to prevent it, and then pick up and keep going right then and there? Or do you wallow in guilt and recriminations, beat yourself up, and eat everything in sight because you'll start all over again ______ (tomorrow, Monday, next week, next month, the first of the year :eek: )? And this time you'll be perfect! :rolleyes:

Mel, one of our mods, has an awesome signature line: Failure isn't falling down; it's staying down. :)

It's the later, sadly. I get all bent out of shape when I fall, then I just give up and have to start all over again.

Excellent quote, btw. :-)

Meg
10-21-2006, 06:11 PM
I've heard a few good analogies to keep in mind for situations when we slip :) :

If you get a flat tire, do you change it and continue on your trip? Or do you get out a knife and slash the other three tires too?
If you slip on the sidewalk, do you pick yourself up and keep going? Or do you turn around, go back home, and start the trip all over again?
If you spill a glass of milk, do you clean it up? Or do you pour the rest of the gallon on the table too?

It seems kind of funny when we look at it that way ... :lol:

glynne
10-21-2006, 07:04 PM
Thank you all for sharing and the things I have read here today. I am so thankful that I have this place to come ~ to be able to be among people who understand and have ideas to share that might just be the thing I needed to hear that day.

It has been a rugged afternoon here today. The DH (does not stand for dear today) who says you just do it, and a person should never mess up. I was wishing he would look at Meg's post and read how yes she still sometimes messes up. But, to do so would probably be yet another exercise in beating my head against a brick wall. GRRRRRR

I wish he would make some effort to try and understand me ~ it would mean so much, but he said he doesn't need to understand. I feel really bummed ~ I could just cry.

Br00klyn
10-21-2006, 09:17 PM
First off, Gayle, I'm so sorry to hear you're having a rough day! I would try talking to your DH again after a "cool off period", and just ask that he listen. Explain to him how important this is to you, and having his support and understanding is critical for your success!

Well truthfully, I think we've ALL been there....and can now say, that it never worked! I think the key to succesful weight loss is to have somewhat of a laid-back attitude about it... at least thats the approach i've taken this time and its working. What I mean is, if you say you CAN'T have any bad foods, well then its a diet, and its quite easy to fail as you almost become panicked that you can't eat something you want/crave. This time for me is different because I've taken the mentality that yes I can have a Big Mac if i really really wanted to, however I'm making a healthier choice. Thinking that way I find makes it way easier for me to stay on track.

I think everything is fine in MODERATION! And the key is if you do have a treat, to get right back to your new healthy lifestyle at your next opportunity! I know in the past, I used to say eat a crappy lunch, and then I'd allow myself to eat whatever I wanted for the rest of the day cuz Hey, I'd already "screwed" it up for the day. That's what needed to change!! And now I don't binge on bad food if i've had a treat! When I do treat myself, I truly enjoy it now, because I know that i'm in CONTROL and having a treat once in awhile won't hurt! :)

Celina

lilybelle
10-21-2006, 11:01 PM
So many times in the past I'd think "I'll start a diet as my new years resolution". It never happened. This time, I new ahead of time that the new physician that I was going to would definitely want me to lose weight.(Another nurse I worked with had the same liver disease that I have and was seeing him). I ate everything in sight for weeks before that appointment. Gained about 5 more lbs. as a side effect. Even on the way to see him (4hr. drive) that morning, I ate horrible junk food along the way. He was so adamant about my poor health and how much of it was attributed to my obesity, that I started to eat right the very next meal. Same day, didn't put it off and have never stopped. Sure, I have made mistakes along the way, but I never give up. So, yes my "last supper" lasted for weeks.
Meg, I love those analogies and never thought of this way, but it is 100% true.

LivingWater
10-22-2006, 01:00 AM
I've heard a few good analogies to keep in mind for situations when we slip :) :

If you get a flat tire, do you change it and continue on your trip? Or do you get out a knife and slash the other three tires too?
If you slip on the sidewalk, do you pick yourself up and keep going? Or do you turn around, go back home, and start the trip all over again?
If you spill a glass of milk, do you clean it up? Or do you pour the rest of the gallon on the table too?

It seems kind of funny when we look at it that way ... :lol:

I love those analgies! :lol: I do pour out the whole gallon (figuritively speaking), and how stupid is that?! Sheeesh, when you put it that way... :lol: I'm going to write these down and keep them handy.

Jen415
10-23-2006, 12:29 PM
This next month in particular I want to buckle down because I have less than a month until my wedding. After the wedding, I plan to maybe relax myself a little but not too much. I don't want to gain weight, I want to just not have to worry about being photographed and looking good in a strapless gown.



Wow Nelie! I can't believe your wedding is so close!!

I think we are all "goal oriented" to a degree--whether it be losing the weight so we look great in a wedding gown or for a reunion, or to see our cholesterol points go down or whatever....I guess we just figure out what is the most important to us at the time...

Jen415
10-23-2006, 12:36 PM
I love those analgies! :lol: I do pour out the whole gallon (figuritively speaking), and how stupid is that?! Sheeesh, when you put it that way... :lol: I'm going to write these down and keep them handy.

I heard one here a long time ago (sorry I can't remember who said it!)

"Just because one egg breaks doesnt mean you should break the other eleven!!"

Lifeguard
10-23-2006, 12:59 PM
Meg & Jen - those analogies are sooo fantastic.

My faulty think is something I have been trying to fix & think I am starting to get there. This morning I forgot my socks & my journal (where I write all my food & exercise) when I went to the gym, plus I have a big blood blister on the bottom of my foot & you know what? I didn't even contemplate not going. Before I would have seen all that as a sign that it was ok for me not to go.

Sandi
10-23-2006, 02:27 PM
I am a HUGE black & white person. If I had an OP breakfast and then an non-OP lunch, I wouldn't have a light dinner, I'd use that as an excuse to eat the rest of the day and start-over tomorrow.

Those analogies are so great. I guess it would help if I quit seeing a whole day as successful and starting seeing each time I ate as being successful. More like "how'd you do at lunch?" not "how'd you do today?". It would really help to break it down further.

DollyR
10-23-2006, 06:39 PM
What great tips to read first thing in the morning before work! I have not been here in a week or two because work blew up in my face and I have been putting in 12 hour days. Yesterday was the first day of coasting (so to speak) and I was finally feeling like I had it all together again.

I do want to say I saw my friend Karen who has never been bothered by her weight and is about a size 18/20. When I saw her she had lost weight. I said "What have you done?" She said "Doll you see me at the gym." I said "How much have you lost?" She said "I don't know and don't check."

It hit a nerve because of the way she was just happy with herself as usual and nothing was this end all thing. She has no obsession about her weight. She just moves along and does what she needs to do. Awesome to me because of the way I obsess and have obsessed in the past. I have finally gotten off the scale everyday and weigh in only once a week. I need to shake the "I'm a Failure" attitude.

Meg- once again your posts inspire.

I want to post these in my classroom because they mean a lot in many ways....not just weight loss.

"I've heard a few good analogies to keep in mind for situations when we slip :

If you get a flat tire, do you change it and continue on your trip? Or do you get out a knife and slash the other three tires too?
If you slip on the sidewalk, do you pick yourself up and keep going? Or do you turn around, go back home, and start the trip all over again?
If you spill a glass of milk, do you clean it up? Or do you pour the rest of the gallon on the table too?"

SnowboundChick
10-24-2006, 10:34 AM
This was my mindset before I started my plan. Right now I'm just doing what feels right. Once I get on plan again I hope that I can let go of that way of thinking once again.

Val424
10-31-2006, 10:05 PM
I used to do that all the time.If you notice on my "Member Since date" it is 2001 When I came to this site then I weighed 258 pounds and when I got on the scale at the beginning of Oct this year I weighed 257.8 and I realized I just waisted 5 years of my life always worrying about when the next diet would start and it just kind of woke me up. I quit coming to the site last time when I gave up and what I should have done was to come back more. So, so far this time I have not had any "Last Ones" the only last I want to see is the Last time I every see my weight start with the number 2.