Support Groups - Steel Magnolias #29

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09-16-2006, 05:36 AM
Good morning gals. I fell asleep around 7 last night so I am up and awake early this morning. That is fine because this way I can get my morning chores done, get my walk in and eat breakfast before Jack and I have to get showered and get to the commissary and the bank. I am buying a few "treats" I can't have for my niece and sil like oj, bacon etc for breakfast and since they have moved our bank from Memphis to outside the front gate of the base (we belong to Navy Federal Credit Union) and I have to deposit my birthday check from my sister we thought we would just stop at the commissary and pick the few items up. Navy payday was yesterday though so it might be a little nuts there.

Susan: I am so sorry for the set back. It has to be so discouraging for Stan not to feel better and to be in such pain all the time. I know you have to be upset too and that sure doesn't help with the eating. I was thinking about spending all the time at the hospital and trying to stay on Phase I. I may bring some stuff from home to eat during lunch then just go home and eat dinner. I actually like SB. I know a lot of people have a lot more trouble than I did with the carbs and sugar, but I am not having problems at all. A funny thing last night though. Jack wanted something for dinner from this deli we eat at so I called and ordered his sandwich then ordered myself the taco salad without the tortilla chips and I had an awful time making the girl understand I just wanted the taco salad without the chips underneath. She finally told me, "We give them to you separately so if you don't want them under your salad you can just eat them." I said, "I am on the South Beach Diet, just don't put the package of chips with the meal, ok?" Finally, success! :lol: Jack has already spoken to the surgeon about talking to me before anyone else right after surgery. I don't care if my sil and dd want to ask a million ???? as long as he tells me Jack is ok first.

Jean: You sure have some winners at that school, but most schools are like that anymore. Practically all our public high schools are like that. We can go one better though, we have at least one shooting or stabbing or something once a week. Fancy private schools are popping up all over the place here because people want their kids out of public school. I saw just a couple days ago when we went to Jack's surgical appt they have a new private girls' school about 3 miles from our house.

We have to have THE DUMBEST mail people. I called yesterday morning and finally got out mailman and he said that I had put a hold on our mail. I said, no I didn't. He got offended and said he had the paperwork. I said, listen, I am not accusing you of anything I was just concerned about my mail, could you go back to delivering it today and he said he would and would attach the hold request so I would see that I had asked for one. WRONG! Last Saturday I did an online priority mailing for two books I wanted to send back to the book club. I requested a home PICK UP on Monday and this bozo saw it as a hold. It said, package pickup it didn't say anything about holding the mail! Besides, he never picked up the mail, I had to go three rounds at the post office with someone about it.

Well, gals, I need to go. Oh Jean, I put your email address on my list for my sister to send updates about Jack as I will probably not have time to get in here much if any next week. I am going to call her Monday after he is out of surgery and then she is going to take the email list I sent her and send a note around to everyone letting them know about Jack. Would you just post it here when you hear anything? Thanks!


09-16-2006, 02:53 PM
Good Afternoon, Flowers! I was up bright and early to go have blood drawn this morning. I'll get to visit with my doctor on Wed. I don't like the new med. he's put me on for various reasons and I'm hoping we can try something else. In a little while we are leaving for a couple's shower for Amanda's brother and fiance. I've never been to one and they really don't need a thing since she's been married before and they each have their own furniture, etc. They did register for a few items, most of which are not in my budget but would be nice if several people wanted to go together on a gift. I have laundry going and I can see a pile of ironing in the making. I used to be able to get it all done over the weekend, but not any more for some reason. It is very windy again today and the humidity is up. I hate to open windows and have the dust and dirt fly in. :(

"Gma" -- Thanks for starting the new thread! I didn't pay any attention to the # last night when I posted. I'm glad you got your mail delivery problem straightened out! :D This town is numbered DUMB! Everywhere else we have lived the house #s goby twos -- even #s on one side and odd #s on the other side. This town goes by fours! We keep getting mail for a house with the same # only a different street two blocks away as well as getting mail for the house two doors away. Our's is 1008 and their's is 1108. I really do think the post office hires some really people without any common sense! :yes: I will be glad to post any emails from your sister. I will be thinking of you and Jack, so I hope you can feel my prayers coming your way! :hug: :grouphug:

I need to change clothes and get ready for the shower. Have a great day!

Jean -- :wave: from Iowa!

09-17-2006, 05:36 AM
Good morning all! It is warm and sticky in our part of the woods. I just took out the cat litter clean up and it is pretty warm for the middle of the night.

We ended up having to go get his sister because she got lost, not once but 3 times and I gave her really good directions. Ahh well, she is here now. She didn't get here until after 10 PM and we didn't get into bed until way after 11 and here I am up at 3:30. My left shoulder is bothering me. I have had a sore muscle on and off in it for several weeks. I think it is the way I sleep with it. I pull my arm up onto the pillow and I think it strains that muscle doing that. Unfortunately, I do it in my sleep.

Jean: I wonder why people who have previously been married have showers or even the ones who have lived on their own for a long time. I think people who already have their homes set up should just have a personal shower or nothing. I mean the purpose of a shower is to help the couple get started in life and most couples already have their own homes and careers these days. We have nutty numbering too and I don't even know what the system is for it because it skips total numbers but doesn't do it like in 2's or 3's etc. They have now decided to lock two of the three entranceways into the complex and so there is now only one way in and one way out. Jack says he is not sure it is legal and though I know their reasoning was to keep people from cutting through the complex from the side street to the main street, they could have accomplished that by barring and locking the side street entranceway and leaving both front ones open.

Well gals, this will probably be my last post for a few days unless I get a minute or two to myself, which I doubt. Jean will keep you updated about Jack as she hears anything. Take care and I will talk with you soon.


09-17-2006, 01:49 PM
Good Morning, Flowers! The sun is shining brightly, but it is again very windy and chilly outside. We've been to church and I am home alone while Bob is singing at the second service. When I got to church I thought I was late because there were so many cars parked around the area. When I got inside there was our usual group. I found out later that the Catholics are using the public school auditorium, across the street from our church, while their sanctuary is being remodeled and they have church a half hour before our's. :rolleyes: I'm trying the "new" roast in the oven and can't smell anything yet. I've got laundry going and need to attack the ironing pile this afternoon.

"Gma" -- I hope your shoulder is feeling better! I think the main reason for the shower was because Amanda's mom comes from a large family and the aunts always give the bridal shower for the nieces and nephews. There were only two couples there that were not family (we are considered family now, I guess :lol:) and taking out the 6 hostesses, there were only family members left. I was kind of surprised that the bride's parents weren't there, but they do live on the other side of the state and perhaps figure they have done this once before. It was very humid and windy; we ended up staying for supper so we could see the grandkids; it poured rain along with the thunder and lightning right after we got home. There were tornado warnings that kept flashing on the TV for our area. So far I haven't heard that any touched down. The powers-to-be wanted to close a road in our little subdivision and the residents raised a stink saying we needed another way in and out of here in case of an emergency. If the wind is just right the snow will drift across the main entrance and that is a bit scary. Anyone with power and a big 4 - wheel drive vehicle could probably plow through but the rest of us would be stuck big time. You and Jack are and will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow! :hug: You could have pretended you couldn't find your sil. ;) :lol3:

Have a wonderful day, Flowers!

Jean -- :wave: from Iowa!

09-18-2006, 08:28 PM
I just got this email from Faye's sister . . . .

I just heard from Faye. The surgery went well. Jack didn’t have to have extra blood or a lot of extra fluids. He's in ICU, but still pretty much out of it. He will probably be in ICU today and tomorrow, then a regular room until end of week. Donna will let me know the room number as soon as he's in the regular room, in case anyone wants to send cards, etc.

Please feel free to forward this email to anyone I might have missed as well as let me know so I can include them in future emails.

They send their love to all…keep praying!

09-19-2006, 01:18 AM
Good Evening, Flowers! I just got home from card club. It was our first one for the year and since I don't see any of the gals during the month it is fun to catch up with everyone's news. It has been another cool and windy day in my neighborhood. School was ssdd again. I'm so tired of kids saying, "I don't get it!" when they take no notes and don't bring their books to study halls. Makes me really crabby especially when we are not supposed to let them leave study halls for any reason. Then they wonder why they are failing classes. Duh!

Susan -- How far is Chesapeake Bay from where you live? I hope that the therapy sessions will keep Stan busy and help him to feel better. I know it will take time. Are you trying to work or are you staying with Stan the whole time? You are in my thoughts and prayers. :hug:

"Gma" -- I'm glad to get your sister's email. I was thinking of you and Jack today! :hug: Sending prayers your way.

I am heading to bed! :yawn: Have a terrific Tuesday!

Jean -- :wave: from Iowa!

09-19-2006, 09:26 AM
Just in for a minute this AM. Wanted to say the our prayeres are with both Faye and Susan and their families. Faye, glad to hear that Jack's operation is over and now it is just the time that will pass before he is better and back home with you! Susan, just the fact that DH is now is a rehab facility is good news. It may be very difficult for a while but with all our prayers that period will be short and he will be back on the road to recovery.

Stay strong, the both of you!


09-19-2006, 03:08 PM
Faye, I'm so glad things are going well for Jack. Take care of yourself so you can be strong for him.

Stan is now at Riverside Rehab and they'll be working with him so that he can come home to finish recuperating and then we'll get into the prosthesis and more theraphy.

Jean: We actually live on the Bay so I'm about 8 miles from the rehab place.

09-19-2006, 10:54 PM
Good Evening, Flowers! It is a cool . . . no, COLD 43 degrees as I am typing. I was ready for some cooler weather, but this is a bit too much too fast. Oh well, at least we don't have to shovel yet. :lol: We had a chance to go out and eat with some friends tonight so I skipped WW. I could have gone first and been a little late to meet them. It wasn't the best week foodwise so I didn't have to think twice about skipping. I do need to get back on track and get the scale moving downward again.

Gloria -- Nice to see you peeking in! Come back when you can stay longer! ;)

Susan -- I hope Stan and you had a good day! :yes:

"Gma" -- Your update sounds like Jack and you had a good day! :D

I need to do a load of laundry and sort through the junk mail. I'm part of a month long survey for certain types of junk mail and have to mail it all in at the end of the month. There is alot!

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Jean -- :wave: from Iowa!

09-19-2006, 10:55 PM
Here is the latest email from Faye's sister . . . .

Jack is doing GREAT! He has all but one line out of his swan catheter
(the catheter they have in his neck that has like 5 lines,) he sat in a
chair for an hour this morning, he is doing great with his breathing
exercises and may get to move to a regular room this afternoon. I will
let you know so if anyone wants to do anything they will know where to
send it.

I am pooped but so thrilled he is looking good that I don't care if I am
tired. We are having swiss steak and au gratin potatoes that I was up
making at 4 this morning! lol

09-20-2006, 11:02 PM
Good Evening, Flowers! I am tired tonight -- long day at school and then bell choir practice tonight. I am heading in the direction of bed! :yawn:

Here is the latest update on Jack . . . .

"Jack has his chest tubes all out, his swan catheter out, he is walking
just a bit and has even had his chest incision's stitches taken out this morning (BIG DARN INCISION TOO! lol) He had to be medicated to take the tubes out so he is very sleepy this morning, but doing well.

I am pooped but other than that I am fine."

Hope you all have a terrific Thursday tomorrow!

Jean -- :wave: from Iowa!

09-21-2006, 07:59 AM
I thought I would actually say hello in person this morning as I don't have to start some meal for tonight this AM and actually have a few minutes to myself. I have been on the go and cleaning, doing tons of laundry and cooking on top of everything and though they have been nice while here, not really helpful so I am hoping they might go home tomorrow, Saturday at the latest. Jay and Alicia aren't going to come down for a couple weeks so I might be able to get the condo back in order. {{{{SHUDDER}}}} they are clutterers and you know how I am about clutter! :lol:

I got about 5.5 hours of sleep last night, the most in the whole week, so I do feel better. Jack made me come home from visiting yesterday afternoon and take a nap because I had run out of steam.

He is doing well. We stayed about 2 hours last night until his Percocet kicked in. His nurse was atrocious and I have a feeling the nurse manager is going to get a piece of my sil's mind this morning. They have repeatedly told him NOT to let the pain get out of hand before asking for medication. When he started hurting last night, he rang for pain meds and she didn't show up until 20 minutes later and by then he was in full blown pain. It was in pill form so that is another 30 minutes of pain before it kicks in. Then we asked for a urinal because he had to go to the bathroom and I had to get him up and hold him at the toilet because she didn't show up with it. Lastly, when I took him to the bathroom I noticed his swan catheter hole (this is a big catheter they put in the neck that has about 5 leads coming out of it for all his drips) was bleeding around the bandaid so I told my sil to get her to come look at it. She came back with this stuff they used and SCRUBBED IT like an old washer woman because some of the blood had dried. You could see it was agony for him and my sil said totally unnecessary because the stuff she was using had lanolin and was made for that sort of thing.

He will probably be home this weekend, which I know he is looking forward to. I told him to think how sexy he is going to be to all those girls at the pool in Vegas with his scar now. He said he would wear a tshirt and I told him NO HE WOULDN'T. I told him there is nothing to be ashamed of because of that scar and he didn't have to hide it. I told him I thought it gave him that kind of sexy big bad Frankenstein quality and I like it. :lol:

Well, I am going to try and speak directly to a couple more people.

Take care and talk again soon.

Faye (Oh, Susan, I hope Stan is coming along well. I know this has all been such a drain on you. I am praying for you!)

09-21-2006, 03:05 PM
Faye, see if the hospital has a patient advocate and make a complaint to that person. It gets a lot better results - been there have had to do that. I think some of these nurses think they are God. Stan once had one who withheld his pain medication because he didn't want his lunch. I got that straight real quick and she was moved from that floor. They try to be kind at rehab and have him take his pain medication before theraphy, but then it makes him sleepy and he doesn't want to do anything. Nurse called me this morning to let me know he wanted it after --- I said as long as he got it when he needed it, it was up to him since the doctor said as needed.

Stan is progressing so much - walking with a walker this morning! I have to go Monday afternoon and sit in on his theraphy so I know how to help him at home. His room overlooks the Chesapeake Bay so he can watch all the boats and ships. He's having a problem with looking at or touching his stump but they have therapist there for that as well. He'll be discharged September 29. This rehab is really aggressive but it's been very good for him to see that he can still do things for himself and get around.

I feel about 20 years younger since he is doing so well.

Jean, what's the latest on school. One high school here on Tuesday had police and metal detectors on duty all day because the night before 2 students were shot in 2 separate incidents. They think it might be gang related and this school is in a nice middle class neighborhood, not the slums.

I want to clean my downstairs carpets and rearrange furniture this weekend so tha will be done when he comes home - then I'll move to the upstairs and do the same. I'm in a good toss it and get rid of it mood.

09-21-2006, 11:25 PM
Good Evening, Flowers! It is pouring :rain: right now and has been since early afternoon. What a gloomy day and it sounds like the weekend will be more of the same. When I got home I had a message on the answering machine to call my "mom." I could tell by her voice that the news wasn't good. My dad's half brother died this morning from an aneurysm on the aorta. He was 66 years old -- much too young. They live in northern MN and it is an 8 hour drive from here so it will be a fast trip; I just found out the funeral will be on Saturday. Bob has to leave Sunday night for a 3 day license renewal school in Des Moines. Argh! Why does everything happen at once!?

"Gma" -- It was so good to see your post tonight! I hope that Jack continues to feel well enough to come home this weekend! I'm hoping the nurse will get reprimanded for what she did. What a hag! You take care of you too! :D

Susan -- So far we haven't had any weapons found at school, at least none that I know of. They have found marijuana however. It's nice that Stan has a nice view from his room. I love to watch boats and think that would be awesome. I hope his therapy continues to go well. It sounds like they cover all the bases which is good. Getting your carpet cleaned will be a good job to have done! :yes:

I need to see if I can find a motel for tomorrow night. I probably won't be online until Sunday night after Bob leaves. Have a nice weekend!

Jean -- :wave: from Iowa!

09-22-2006, 03:29 AM
Good kind of middle of the night! I am up with that sore shoulder again and am going to get in the recliner with the heating pad in just a few but wanted to get a post off.

Jack's cardiologist came in Thursday and said if it were up to him Jack would get to come home today, but that is up to Dr Powell. He saw a rehab therapist and he will be going to rehab 3 times a week for about a month after he gets out of the hospital.

He walked past the nurses station twice today and can blow on his IS thingy past 1500, which is really good. He has quite coughing up gunk and he said he doesn't feel like he needs to cough so much. Drs all say his lungs sound clear and good so that is great because that is always a fright with surgery.

Jean: Sorry to hear about the death and the rushed trip. Safe traveling for you guys and hope you get home all safe and sound after the weekend.

Susan: Glad Stan is coming around! It will take him awhile to accept the leg as being gone but he will be ok eventually.

Have a great Friday gals!


09-22-2006, 12:21 PM
DH is doing a lot better. They put a cast on his residual leg today to protect it in case he falls during theraphy. Psychologist talked to him yesterday and he seemed to be in a better frame of mind last night, planning and looking forward to going home when a few days ago he was fearing it.

Jean, sorry for your lose, hope you have a safe trip.

Faye, hooray for Jack. I know you are so relieved he is doing so well. I hope your shoulder clears up. I had a bout with bursitis 4 or 5 years ago and wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

Today is the first day of fall - where did the summer go?

I'm back on the SB wagon and back down to 152 so I am happy. Still have 7 more I'd like to lose.

Have a great week end!

09-23-2006, 03:54 PM
Just a short check in this afternoon. Jack is sleeping right now as I gave him a percocet about half an hour ago so he could exercise. He walked to the end of the condo garages and back, which is pretty good. He also climbed the stairs, bathed by himself and came back down them today so he got some good exercise. He is now able to expand his chest and deep breathe without pain or coughing. He is doing phenomenally well with it all and his scar is healing nicely.

The company went home thank goodness. I had to grocery shop this morning and cart it all in by myself and put it all away. It was a nice visit and I think I finally got through to the woman that I am a NICE person and really loved her brother. They were total slobs though and I cooked and cleaned up 2 meals a day for a whole week along with doing all the linen laundry and even a load of their clothes plus all the running back and forth to the hospital. My house was a wreck when they left because they are pretty slobby so I have been cleaning all the downstairs today and have all the cleaning done except for mopping floors and shampooing the dining room (my poor yorkie acted out by peeing everywhere in there) which I am going to do tomorrow. I am pretty pooped but except for trying to catch up laundry and get the beds remade with new linen I am done for the day. Well, I am going to cook us dinner later too.

I am going to brag a little bit on my son. They have been unable to come down and will be coming the first week of Oct I think. My birthday is next Thursday and I got a birthday card and check from them. I have to tell you, with all that I have been through, the exhaustion, cooking, cleaning, entertaining, and hospital stuff, this just made all that go away. Here is what he wrote on my card:

"Mom, You are so beautiful and kind. I know now that many of the qualitites I have looked for in people I first saw in you. I couldn't have asked for a better mother and I cherish the time we are able to spend together. I hope you have a wonderful birthday, Your loving son, Jay." Good bless him, he was just what I needed!

have a good Saturday gals!


09-24-2006, 08:19 PM
Good Evening, Flowers! I feel like I have had NO weekend whatsoever and tomorrow is Monday already -- Homecoming week to boot. We spent roughly 16 hours driving, an hour of visitation, and an hour for the funeral which makes for a long trip. Ian came along so people that knew Jason at that age were tickled to see him. He did keep things lively in the car! We had a two hour church service this morning to honor the 100th anniversary of our sanctuary. It was music, music, and more music (Bob's group sang, we played bells, the choir sang, and the "praise team" from second service performed); three ministers returned to make short comments so it was fun and the time did go quickly. We passed on the potluck and drove through KFC on the way home. I've been doing laundry all afternoon and Bob just left for a three day school in Des Moines. Now the rest of the evening is mine to regroup for myself. :D

"Gma" -- I'm glad to hear that Jack is home and know he will recuperate much quicker there. I'm sure you have been cleaning your heart out . . . I hate having sloppy company! :( Your son sounds like a real sweetheart! :yes:

Susan -- I'm glad to hear that Stan is doing better. :) I hope he is home soon. Even though our trip was a fast one, I'm glad that we went. I only wish we could have spent more time visiting, but looking at an 8 hour drive isn't fun either. :no: Congrats on the loss! :cheer:

Hope you all have a marvelous Monday!

Jean -- :wave: from Iowa!

09-25-2006, 07:17 AM
Good morning girls! We are trying to set up a routine so we aren't completely mixed up with days and nights since we will be in the house so much for the next few weeks and Jack sleeps so much with the meds. I continue to try and get my cleaning done, but yesterday I was exhausted. I had to go to the commissary to get groceries for a couple weeks and didn't have anyone to keep an eye on Jack so I had to take him with me. He has to ride in the back seat because we have a passenger side air bag, then I had to get him in a scooter, shop, get the stuff loaded, get him back in the car, bring it home, get him in and settled (the trip wiped him out) and then bring in all the groceries and put them away. By the time I was done with all that, there was no way I was going to do any cleaning. I ended up taking a nap while he did yesterday afternoon.

I have to call and set up his rehab appts today and his cardiology appt in 3 weeks. I am beginning to feel like a social secretary too with all these appts he is going to have to be on.

Jean: When I talked to my son yesterday, I told him he was such a liar (regarding all the things he said in the card) and he said "You get to hear that once a year on your birthday." :lol: I asked him about Mother's Day and he said he thought it would make my head big so maybe he can do a combo Mother's Day and birthday card inbetween both days with mushy sentiments one time! :lol: He's such a stinker. When Jack talked to him and said something about me he said I was the best mom in the world to take care of him. Hope the visit, though a sad occasion was nice. I got a chuckle out of the skipping potluck and doing KFC instead.

I am putting my dieting on hold for just a couple weeks until I can get Jack where he is eating meals. Right now I am not cooking dinner at night because Jack is having a lot of nausea with the medicine so he is eating mostly chicken noodle soup and oj. It is also tough to try and find time to cook and I know Susan must experience this with all of the stuff with Stan going on.

Other than that, we are peachy keen here! My grandson came over the other night and did his Boy Scout pledge for me. He was soooooo cute! We promised him another trip to Chuck E Cheese when his report card comes out if it is good (probably a done deal because he has straight A's right now his mom says) but it will have to wait until Jack is back at work because it costs us like $50 to go!

Have a good morning gals! I almost said Sunday until I realized it whizzed by yesterday!


09-25-2006, 12:49 PM
Faye, so glad you have Jack back home and on the mend. Your son's message is true - you are a loving and caring person. Our birthdays are close - mine is Oct. 9.

Jean, glad your trip went well, although sorry it was for such a sad reason.

I've been eating dinner with Stan. They send his tray to the dinning room and I go through the line so I've been pretty much on SB except for some carrot cake yesterday.

I'm going to go to Stan's theraphy sessions this afternoon so I know how to help him at home. My big problem now is how can I get a wheelchair ramp by Friday.

I signed up for my Social Security to start Jan 1 although I plan to work full time until end of June. I can make $33,000 the first 6 months without penalty, then I'll be normal retirement age and can make all I want. Not that I get paid that much. Stan's disability will go up a little too because he gets 50% of the amount I do...$ counts at our house. She also said he will automatically go on Medicare February 1. That will be a blessing in itself.