I'll tsart by syaing that I work in a helping profession, and as such, have naturally concerned co-workers. Since about 185 pounds (i'm 5'9" and 28 years old and my goal is 155), the co-workers have seemed concerned saying that I can't possibly have more weight to lose, etc. and made comments about me wasting away (i think these are mostly made in jest but there seems to be some honest concern behind them). I don't look inappropriately thin (although I probably don't look particularly overweight) and I am going by what medically is appropriate for me according to BMI (although, i did not consult with my physician before setting a goal weight... but it's also within the weight watcher's parameters and brings me down to a bmi of about 23). I have explained myself about once every two weeks to them since 185 pounds (which was sometime in may). Other than dragging my doctor in to the office or being short with them, what can I do to get them to realise that I am not starving myself and that I am striving to be healthy, not anorexic? PArt of the problem is that they're going by how I look, and I have always appeared to weigh less than I do, but I don't think that putting a scale on the table in the middle of staff meeting, hopping on it and then handing out adult weight charts is appropriate, nor should I allow them to get to me that deeply. So, any suggestions?
OK< let's role play: You are in a meeting, and a coworker leans over and says "How much more weight do you intend to lose? You are wasting away to nothing, I think you're off the deep end with this diet thing". You reply, with the sweetest smile you've ever conjured up, "What an odd thing to say, why do you ask?" No matter what the reply, you continue smiling sweetly, returning each comment with a comment back referring to her interest as "odd". Really, other than genuine support, do you need these passive-aggressive comments?
Since about 185 pounds (i'm 5'9" and 28 years old and my goal is 155), the co-workers have seemed concerned saying that I can't possibly have more weight to lose, etc. and made comments about me wasting away (i think these are mostly made in jest but there seems to be some honest concern behind them). I don't look inappropriately thin (although I probably don't look particularly overweight) and I am going by what medically is appropriate for me according to BMI (although, i did not consult with my physician before setting a goal weight... but it's also within the weight watcher's parameters and brings me down to a bmi of about 23).
First off let me say BMI is very, very outdated and doesn't take into account a person who has a higher muscle mass vs body fat mass. To me it is not totally what a person should look at. Secondly it is not 100% sound medical advice. Please speak to your physician about it. Also have your body fat measured. Depending on your exercise routine 155 may or may not be right for you depending on the muscle mass vs body fat.
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I have explained myself about once every two weeks to them since 185 pounds (which was sometime in may).
So tell them, "Thank you for your concern but I have discussed it with my physician and we have set a goal weight for me that we both are monitoring. I am not going to discuss this any further but I do appreciate your concern."
I also do not look as heavy as I am. It depends on where you carry the wight, bone frame etc. I think after a certain amount of "concern" you just have to tell your co-workers that you are following a healthy diet plan to achieve a healthy weight, their comments are duly noted and could they now please keep them to themselves. Concern is one thing but when they start to cause stress and distress it has gone too far for too long.
(although, i did not consult with my physician before setting a goal weight...
So why not do so? Assuming you have a supportive physician. Actually this is a great idea anyway, as then you know from your lab tests how successful your plan is on the inside! It's very encouraging to get good lab reports back!!!
Also... I am 5'9" too and when I lost weight before I got the same thing from people. I stopped them in their tracks by just laughingly but bluntly saying, "I weigh 170 pounds!!! That's hardly anorexic!" etc. It DID work.
consulting with the doc is probably a good idea and it really wouldn't hurt to take an hour off work to do it, so i'll try to rememeber to schedule an appointment soon. However, to some degree, the co-worker issue and the doctor issue are somewhat seperate. Regardless of what the physician says, 167 is hardly "wasting away". I'm glad they're concerned, but i'm tired of explaining myself.
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I stopped them in their tracks by just laughingly but bluntly saying, "I weigh 170 pounds!!! That's hardly anorexic!" etc. It DID work.
I wasn't blunt, but I have very plainly been stating my weight and mentioning how it's medically still pretty high since about 185 and they'll stop saying things for the moment, but the next time they see me, they get right back into it. keep in mind we are only in the office together a couple of times per week... so it's not like they're harassing me every five minutes, but it's usually at least every other week if not more.
Just say it has been discussed with a medical professional and you are still not where you and your medical professional want you to be. THanks for the concern. Then add that you will not be discussion this further.
I think you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.* But I certainly understand your frustration. However, if you can say something like, "Thanks, my doc is happy with where I am, but I'll think about it," perhaps you can shut down any unwanted interest without a negative response.
If the comments are truly made out of jealousy, that's one thing, but this seems to be from genuine concern.
Good luck!
Tracy
(*Of course, you can catch the most flies with dead squirrels, but I have no idea how to translate that metaphor into practical use. )
for anyone who wanted an update, the doc said 160 and not 155. He said I could actually stop where I am now (165) but it m ight be good to lose a little more if I don't exercise alot... and I don't (but that's a whole other thread). So now if a co-worker bugs me I can say "the doc said 5 more pounds is fine" and if they want to continue to bug me i'll politely tell them that the subject is no longer open for discussion. I think that works nicely. Thank you for your help.
issues with co-workers
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