Simply Filling/Core - Email from my brother

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08-25-2006, 07:34 PM
Warning: You will cry.

Subject: Ryan gone home

Well.....This morning I took the first and only child to ever call me "Daddy" to school....and then I hugged him goodbye forever. He went on to play with his friends as I left the school and began to softly weep as I walked to my truck. Ryan is very excited about getting to go home with his Dad today, but he doesn't really understand that means he will not be seeing us anymore....or that he won't be seeing his little brother Oren very much anymore. He just said...., "Bye Daddy. See you later."

Vanessa and I got to sit down with his dad and his wife the other night and visit for a while as Ryan and his two stepbrothers were playing. His dad is a good guy and has been working very hard to get everything ready. He has made some mistakes in life (who hasn't) but has learned from them. The cool thing is he asked if we had been taking Ryan to church. We told him we had and Ryan had been enjoying it. He said that they were going to start going to church since Ryan was used to it. I hope they do. He loves Ryan very much and it is really going to be good for Ryan. Ryan will have brothers at home closer to his own age that he can really play with. Of course knowing this doesn't make the goodbyes any easier.

That is the world of foster parenting. To love a child who needs loving and care for him until he can go home or is adopted. That is the job we signed up for. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. I've been told it takes a special kind of person to do this. Quite honestly, I don't feel especially special right now.

<>< Kevin and Vanessa

08-25-2006, 08:35 PM
Wow, that would be incredibly long has Ryan lived with them?

Thanks for sharing.

08-25-2006, 10:06 PM
i can't imagine going through what they're going through.

08-25-2006, 11:04 PM
Thanks for sharing Kathy. Since I work with the folks who are trying to get their kids out of foster care it's good to remember that there are really great foster parents out there who really care about what's best for kids.

08-25-2006, 11:27 PM
Very touching - I could never to that - how difficult it must be! We have firends who take in foster babies - the cutest, tiniest little thing - and they all get nicknames, like Pudge and Dimples - then they have to let them go! It would certainly break my heart!

Hugs to your brother & sil.


08-25-2006, 11:31 PM
Very moving, I would get very attached to the children. Your brother and sil have big hearts and are wonderful people.

08-25-2006, 11:55 PM
They got them the Friday before Father's Day, with about an hour's notice.

Oren was 8 months old and Ryan is 4. They have two different dads, and mom is in jail on drug charges. Right now, it looks like she'll be there for a very long time. The kids had been in the CPS system since March, and my brother's house was their 4th place between March and early June. They don't know where the baby's dad is (and mom hasn't even narrowed it down to ONE candidate) and so there's no other relative to place him with. Ryan's dad has been taking parenting classes in order to gain custody, and today was the day that it all happened.

Kevin, my brother, is 44 and his wife is mid-30s. They're unable to have children but really wanted them, so they took all the classes and fulfilled requirements to become foster parents thru Child Protective Services. These two boys were their first, and although they knew going in that the boys might either go back to their mom, or in Ryan's case, to his dad ... it's still not easy. There is a good chance that they're able to adopt Oren.

Here's Ryan:

And the baby, Oren:

They're both sweet boys. Oren had a flat head when he came to them because he had been left in the bed since he was an infant. It eventually rounded out, but isn't that sad? And he left his last placement because the woman got mad that he wouldn't sleep all night and eat from a spoon. :(

08-26-2006, 12:14 AM
it does take a special person just as it takes special ppl to have a knack for caring special needs kids and adults like me. ppl like u make my world a better place

08-26-2006, 12:38 AM
It def takes a very special soul to take children into their homes and raise them!
I was in foster care when I was a teenager (long, complicated story) and I saw several little kids in the's so heart-wrenching to see these kids. They never understood what was going on and they were so sad. I was at least old enough to comprehend what was going on and even had a say on a lot of things.........these little kids are going through all this adult crap and not understanding a thing.:(

08-26-2006, 10:57 AM
Kathy, your Brother and SIL are Angels on earth.