I need to get out of this... mentally, I really need out. I watched the Dr. Phil show today and there was a lady on that show who lost 160 pounds in 3 years but now has what to me looks like A LOT of stretched out/sagging skin, and I fell straight into a "what if that happens to me???" mode. You can check it out on the website if you're interested: http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/648 . The one called "Success Reveals a Downside". I started crying after the initial numbness of depression wore off, for a lack of a better term.
I am 22, 5'5 or 5'6, 258lbs, size 20-21? I just bought size 18 jeans at one store though the size 20 at another were too tight - go figure heh! I'd like to weigh probably under 160 (maybe around 140?), so that means at least 100lbs to lose.
I DON'T want to be upset over this, and I certainly don't want it to depress me enough for me to fall off my bandwagon (going to the gym, that is - especially because if I go to the gym I tend to eat healthy!). Ugh.
How many people who lose over 100lbs have sagging skin, and how much of it do they have? I've read things like "I have a little bit of sagging skin on my stomach" but how much is this?
I'm feeling anxious about this.. anxious and upset, and angry... and despite these feelings I know that I have to take it slowly which is so frustrating!!! :mad: I'm aiming for a loss of 1lb a week in hopes that this might help my skin from remaining stretched (sagging). I would love to aim for that 2 lbs a week loss, would certainly take MUCH less time and goodness knows I'd rather see results in a bit over a year than over two years. But all of this might not make a difference even!
Damn it, I just want to feel beautiful... which is something I need to work on psychologically more so than physically. But I also want the liberty of buying and wearing certain clothes and finally for the first time in my life feel physically liberated in terms of my body and its weight related aspects.
Aghhh... but I don't want to feel angry, hopeless, upset, or anxious... I want weight loss to be a positive event in my life and a celebration of my body rather than a target of self-directed anger and repulsion!
And to top it off, I haven't really told anyone I'm close with about any of this yet... I've mentioned to one person every now and then that I was at the gym that day, but nothing detailed because I feel embarassed. I have aimed this before and "failed" before, that I actually want to prove to myself not that I can do it because I know I can, but that I AM doing this, losing weight by exercising well and eating healthy that is. I want to prove to myself that I am committed to this, that I am working hard, and that I am going to achieve my goal, all before I tell someone "I am changing my lifestyle, and one of my goals is to lose my extra weight and weigh a healthy amount, be fit, etc.". Call me foolish but I am feeling vulnerable and I don't want draw attention to this part of my life at the moment.. but that also means not asking for support with some people.
Anyways.. I just wanted to vent... I am still feeling very upset, maybe a nice warm shower and a good night of rest will relax me.
Thank you so much for reading and allowing me to share, it's such a relief and comfort to know people might be able to relate and understand. If you have any speck of insight, perspective, or anything really, I'm definitely all ears :^:
08-22-2006, 09:53 PM
I struggled enormously with the realization of just how extensively I've damaged my body/skin through a lifetime of morbid obesity. It has been depressing and oppressive, I've gotten pissed, cried it out, felt the shame, and eventually came to accept that I did this to myself, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. But you know what? Feeling beautiful and appearing beautiful are two totally different things that don't necessarily have anything to do with the other. Yes, you may have loose skin; in fact it's pretty likely if you've been morbidly obese for an extended period of time. So you have to ask yourself, is the prospect of loose skin enough to deter you from fitting comfortably into booths at restaurants? Is it enough to allow yourself to continue to jeopardize your health? Is it enough to throw up your hands and let the food and the emotions win? Or do you think that maybe, just maybe, you're strong enough and beautiful enough to take back control over your own life and get to living it again in spite of your perceived imperfections? Everything's relevant hon, you just gotta figure out what's most important to you. Really, in the grand scheme of things, what's a little skin? Now go take that warm bath and remember why you're really doing this thing in the first place. Take care, this too shall pass.:hug:
08-22-2006, 10:25 PM
You do have the advantage of age on your side. That might eliminate as much excess skin as you have. Also, you only have 100 lbs to lose. I have to say that because I have lost nearly 100 lbs and if I remained with as much loose skin as I have now, I would be happy. I have probably another 100 lbs to lose and I don't know what that will mean for the loose skin.
08-22-2006, 10:37 PM
hey there, I can relate to you a lot. I'm 22 and the same height as you. When I came to Mobile to go to school, we had access to Discovery Health, and if you've ever watched it, you'll notice that they talk about the skin issue. This is where i first really faced the fact that I might have loose skin.
It really sucks and is depressing because we'd work so hard to get to a body that we're happy with, but we still can't wear all those cute clothes, and be completely normal. I felt like this for awhile, but it doesn't bother me as much now. I've faced the fact that I most likely will have the loose skin, but you have to ask yourself. Would you rather have that loose skin or still be overweight. You can hide the loose skin with clothes, but fat is harder to hide.
Also, when I lose the weight, I've already decided to get plastic surgery for the skin. It's always an option in the future.
08-22-2006, 10:56 PM
Hey girls. Just wanted to chime in here. I, too, have kind of been thinking about / avoiding this issue.
I have twins that are now 2 years old. I got up to 250 when I was carrying them, then with breastfeeding, etc had gotten back down to about 210. But had ALOT of loose skin on my stomach. I hated it. I thought that maybe if I eat & fill it out some, it will look better (like the lady on Dr. Phil said). So then I got back up around 250 and was tired / achy / miserable.
So, I'm once again on an endeavor to lose the weight. Yes, I'll have "twin skin". And it sucks. But that's my battle scar, I guess. Like someone said, at least I'll look good in clothes.
But it's hard... because I too, don't want DH to see it... it's gross.
I think I'm rambling. But I know I'll feel better / healthier when I lose the weight... even if the loose skin is there.
*hugs to us all*
08-23-2006, 12:07 AM
Beverly-- LOVED your post!
08-23-2006, 01:17 AM
I started where you are now, and I'm over half way.
The loose skin issue wasn't something I ever really thought about. My weight defined me, everyone knew me as "cuddly Kylie, fat but happy". I was fed up with being defined by my weight.
Ok, now every one thinks of me as "crazy Kylie gym chick" :D
I have some signs of problems with my tummy, and my thighs. But you know what, it doesn't bother me too much.
I feel a bit like Beverly, in that I have abused my body for so long, and I'm always going to have this as a reminder.
My weight loss journey is slow and steady, and I'm taking a long time to get to know my body again, and to love it, for better for worse.
You either want to lose weight or you don't. If you are happy to stay where you are, stay there.
But know what damage you are potentially doing to your body by choosing to be obese.
08-23-2006, 11:06 AM
I watched Dr. Phil yesterday also but I turned it off before that woman's segment because I know I don't need anything right now to make me question my decision to lose this weight. I did see her as they were going to a commercial break, though, and though the loose skin is not attractive, I know that even with that, I will still look much better in clothes than I look at 300lbs, and I will be much, much more healthy. Surgery to remove the skin is expensive but for me, not as expensive as the health costs (infertility, plus the likelihood of future issues) of not losing the weight. Thinking about it that way has helped me put the loose skin issue in perspective.
08-23-2006, 12:03 PM
When I weighed 234, the skin issue was a big problem for me. I didn't really want to lose weight for fear of having all that loose skin. I was in horrible health and had to take the weight off. As of today, I have lost 97lbs. and am down to 137, which is lower than my goal. (haven't changed my ticker). I am 46 yrs. old and expected the worse. I look incredibly better than I thought I would. A little loose skin especially on arms and butt but otherwise pretty darn good. I am able to shop at the "normal" stores now which feels great. I can pick out cute clothes and look good in them. I don't wear anything that is sleeveless. I don't wear a bikini, but after 2 kids plus stretch marks , I wouldn't have worn one anyway. My DD breasts are now a C cup and that is fine with me. My health is drastically improved. I look and feel a lot better than I did when I was over-weight. Younger people usually do even a lot better with the skin issue. I am to the point now that it really has become a non-issue for me. I did the damage to this body, but I now have it at it's optimal best and that's the most I can expect. As for plastic surgery, I'm not going to do it. I have enough health complications without putting myself at further risk.
08-23-2006, 02:05 PM
Oh, sweetie :hug: :hug: :hug:
Just wanted to let you know I'm feelin' your pain.
I do agree however...that loose skin is a price we may all have to pay for abusing ourselves the way we have. To be healthy is much more important.
I hope you are one of the lucky ones who comes out the other side looking like a Victoria's Secret model...but just remember that most don't, and that's OK. We don't need to have our beauty defined by the media. We are beautiful before, during and after this process.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
08-23-2006, 10:16 PM
I lost 70 lbs and have loose, saggy skin on my stomach. When I bend over or lie on my side it looks especially bad. I also have a little loose skin under my arms and my inner thighs. I will never wear a bikini. My breasts are also saggy and deflated. On the positive, they look GREAT with a nice, supportive bra in clothes.
I always had a dream, that one day I would be thin and I would be SLEEK and I would look like Cindy Crawford in a bikini. But, I realized - even Cindy Crawford doesn't look as great in person as she does after she's been air brushed for a magazine.
It didn't happen overnight, but I've pretty much come to terms with my body. It's not a sleek super model body, but it's strong and fit and can run up stairs and can hold the ones I love. I may look like some wrinkly horror when I bend over, but I look GREAT in a pair of brown linen capri pants and a fitted white shirt.
For me, the increased energy and feelings of HEALTH far outweigh the drawbacks of loose skin. I know I didn't have as much to lose so I hope that I'm not intruding in this thread!
08-24-2006, 06:43 PM
Thanks everyone - I think it's going to take me a long time to come to terms and accept how slow this whole process is, the weight loss itself but also my fitness, my health, my appearance, and coming to terms with my life before and after all of that... but it's messages and encouragement like these that help me to keep going and motivate me to hop on that bus and go to the gym, so thank you all :hug:
You're all right of course. And Glory - of course you're not intruding :) thanks for your message :)
Linda - I loved what you said, "We are beautiful before, during and after this process." It's something I really needed to hear especially at the time when I read it :hug:
It's ironic that I posted this because I had replied to someone's very similar concern not too long ago, with a pretty darn good post I'd say.. and I believe in it wholeheartedly.. but I guess some monsters come to nip you unexpectedly every now and then. Oh, well I will work on this. Thanks again for your wonderful replies :hug:
And I did go to the gym today... and it felt good! :carrot: