100 lb. Club - I feel like a failure!

View Full Version : I feel like a failure!

08-22-2006, 11:36 AM
Good morning all::dizzy:

I guess I just need to vent a little this morning, maybe someone could kick me in the butt and I would get a new positive attitude! :D LOL. Saturday was my 3 year old nephew's birthday, my sister had a big party with lots of food, I started out well, ate something light before I went, didn't eat any of the food there until they got the b-day cake out (maybe I haven't mentioned before that white cake with white frosting is like one of my biggest weaknesses), and boy did I blow it good, so much so that Saturday, Sunday and most of the day Monday I was not OP at all. I feel so terrible, :( I made myself go for a walk yesterday evening, but after 20 minutes I thought I would fall over and today I am so sore I can't hardly move, :?: how dumb is that? I guess the only good news is that I stayed the same at weigh-in yesterday, nothing gained, nothing LOST! (for 2 weeks in a row) :smug: . I have an incredible amount of stress going on in my life right now that I won't bore anyone with, but let me tell you there certainly is such a thing as stress eating (bingeing)! I need some constructive ways to stop this, I was doing well for about a month, my attitude was there and everything, now for the last few days I either want to be sleeping or eating. I hate myself this way and feel like such a failure, I hope that everyone else is doing well! Thanks for letting me dump! :mad:

08-22-2006, 12:05 PM
Hey Karen: There's a great forum on 3FC for binge eating. It's called Chicks in Control. That's a good place to talk about bingeing and such. I know I have to go there on occasion!

08-22-2006, 12:09 PM
I know that I used to beat myself up for going off plan and then it would just be worse for me. I would binge. I have now started to give myself permission to go off plan for certain events that I know I will anyway. That way if I have given myself permission, then I can go back home and get right back on plan. My in-laws were here recently and I decided that I would not worry about a diet while they were here. It was just too hard. I found that when we went out to eat I was eating healthier anyway. I did not loose any that week that they were here, but I did not gain any either. As soon as they left I got right back on plan. I find that if I do give myself permission than I have fewer slip ups and less guilt. If I do go off plan and I have not planned it, then I just deal with it and move on. If we spend time beating ourselves up over it, I think that we do worse. I think that is some of the problem with a lot of us. We beat ourselves up for not eating right and then just eat worse for a lot longer.

So I say give yourself permission every once in a while and then deal with the consequences a little later, maybe work out harder or cut calories a little more the next day. You can do this and ou will do great.


08-22-2006, 12:14 PM
Karen – When we expect perfection of ourselves we are basically guaranteed disappointment. Please don’t beat yourself up about this. Stressing about what you eat is a vicious cycle because it ends up perpetuating itself. Don’t stress about it. The important thing is to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue on. While moving away from the difficult situation it is often helpful to look back at it and try to evaluate it so that next time can be a little better. Did you go to the party not planning on having any cake and then because you had it go off plan for those days? If so, what do you think would have happened if you had allowed yourself one piece of cake? This is a lifetime journey and what would life be without any cake? The important part is only having a piece of cake (and not the whole thing :) ) and then being able to get right back on plan afterwards. At least this is how it is for me. I know some people go the all or nothing route and that works for them, but it has never worked for me.

08-22-2006, 12:21 PM
This is some great advice. I do plan to go off-plan for certain occasions. Try not to beat myself up over it. I can never give up cake forever, but save it for special occasions. My next planned cake cheat will be at Thanksgiving. We had a wedding last month and I decided ahead of time to have a piece of cake. It's life, the important thing is just do it and get on with the plan at the next meal. good luck. It happens to all of us.

08-22-2006, 03:01 PM
As Lilybelle says, it does happen to all of us. What's important, IMHO, is that we get right back on plan from the next meal on. It's a learned skill, however, to not let one piece of cake snowball into two or three days of out-of-control eating. Next time in this situation, allow yourself a piece of cake, enjoy it, and then follow that up with a planned meal.

You'll always have stress in your life so start making a list of things you can do instead of eat. Exercise is always a good one because exercise is a known stress reliever and helps with depression. If you have children you can't leave, then walk in front of the TV (get a Walk Away the Pounds DVD), or pack them up and take a walk. Go outside and walk around your yard while the kids play. Be sure and stretch after you walk so that you won't be so sore next time. :)

You CAN do this!!

08-22-2006, 03:11 PM
Thank you all so much for your positive words and encouragement. I love coming here and getting the boost I need. I am trying really hard today to stay OP, so far so good! And when my daughter gets of work I am planning another walk, so baby steps and I am trying not to guilt myself to death! Thanks again!

08-22-2006, 04:36 PM
Great Job Karen!


08-22-2006, 06:04 PM
I want to just reiterate what Nancy said -- try to figure out WHY you had such a binge so it doesn't happen again, or you can pick yourself up quicker next time. Beating yourself up about it isnt going to help.

I also agree with the others who said that life does have cake etc, however, I try to be careful to limit those decisions to have it (special occasions, as Lily said). Saying yes all the time got me to 295, saying no most of the time, has helped me lose 100 pounds.

08-22-2006, 08:21 PM
Very proud of you for getting back on track! See you have made baby steps already. Focus on the improvements.

08-22-2006, 08:42 PM
Good for you for getting back on track!!! :carrot:

08-22-2006, 08:44 PM
Someone's tagline on here is: Losing weight is not an all or nothing game. Every bite is another chance to get it right.

08-22-2006, 10:41 PM
You are not a failure!!!! You can do this!!!! If I get off track one day, tomorrow is always another chance to succeed. We cannot give up what we love forever, we must allow ourselves to cheat once in awhile.

Misti in Seattle
08-22-2006, 11:52 PM
So glad you got right back on track!!! Keep up the good work!!!

08-23-2006, 11:40 AM
http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar063/slider-woman/lb/325/315/325/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/weight-tracker/)
#1 10 pound goal

08-23-2006, 11:55 AM
Hey everyone:

I forgot to write in my last post, I am in a brain freeze right now,lol! Anyway, just wanted to say thanks again to all of you for your wonderful words of support, whenever I take the time to make myself come and read on here, I see that I am no different and I can do this too! I have always heard that it isn't worth having if it wasn't difficult to get (how true--difficult-yes!!)