I tried everything: buying nice clothes smaller sizes, planning to lose weight before some important event, getting pictures of models, and leaving notes to myself in the kitchen. However, I would go into some kind of trance without thinking, a blackout with chewing sounds and saulty/sweet taste in mouth, until pain in my stomach would wake me up.
Now I practice awareness in my body and thoughts that doesn't work every time but I try. Sometimes I think: well, I could have been doing drugs, alcohol, or gambling, or someting else. At least I can stop my hand before my open mouth and insert a thought - my body is not chemically addicted to food, it's my brain that tells me to eat to fill the emptiness in my life and reduce anxiety.
I do understand all the tricks of ED...
|