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Old 08-21-2006, 01:49 PM   #1  
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Default OT- not sure what to do...

so some of you may remember me posting about a "friend" who treated everyone around her terribly...including me. I met this person in university and she just seemed mad at the world and took it out on everyone else. We were house mates along with 4 other girls, who she talked about behind their backs (and I know she talked about me too). Also, when I got sick with leukemia she never called of visited (she sent cards though), this hurt me...anyway...My bf's friend is dating her and just moved into an aprtment with her...they are serious I guess...I am really trying to weed her out of my life which is hard considering my BF is friends with hers.

Today we got a call from her BF and she wanted to talk to me...this is a first and she actually sounded genuinly interested in my life. SHE did most of the talking (usually its like pulling teeth to talk to her), and she sounded egar to see me. I am hesitant in meet up with her because of everything in the past. Part of me says forgive (but don't forget), move on and try to be friends, but the other part (a bigger part) of me just says "screw her". To me she has shown her true colours and I am not sure I want to persue a friendship. of course I am worried about what others in our "group" will say, and i don't want to deal with the questions/comments etc from others so it is easier to just "pretend"

my gut tells me to just be civil when the all of us meet up but not to go out of my way to hold a friendship. I just feel that she doesn't deserve my time after the way she treated me ( and my BF)

any adivce?
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Old 08-21-2006, 01:59 PM   #2  
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I think it's entirely human to be pessimistic. On the other hand people do change. Someone I was once close to simply grew 'too good' for me. Skipped me over for friends with money and things ... a few years later.... She'd been to counselling and was on various medications for emotional disorders. She's much better now and so are we. It took a while, but I trust her again.
She was sick and our relationship was just a symptom.

I say go with the flow but guard your heart.
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Old 08-21-2006, 02:53 PM   #3  
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I have to agree with SusanB. Be friendly but casual. Treat as you would one of your bf's friend's gf. (?did I get that right?) I've never gotten close to my dh's friend's spouses.
Good luck, guard your heart for awhile at least
Sarah
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