100 lb. Club - Frustrated




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PollyRB
08-18-2006, 06:43 PM
I'm SO frustrated today, I had to vent and I feel this is the only place where someone will understand how I feel..

My mom has been worried about me for the last year since my grades went dramatically down since I started college. She's studied psychology and said she suspects I may have Adult ADHD, so she decided to take me to the dr. to ask him for an appointment with the mental health specialist. We went there tomorrow morning and I was in the best of moods since I had weighed this morning and I had lost some weight. But then the dr. asked me what's wrong and I told him about the symptoms my mom was worried about, and he said it's probably just "bad studying habits" and "maybe I don't have the intelectual capacity to study medicine". That had already ruined my mood, but it got worse.

He started looking through my file and said "I see you've been overweight for many years, and obviously you haven't done a thing about it". Needless to say, after 3 weeks of dieting and exercise and struggling to stick to the plan, this didn't make me feel good at all. He then weighed me and calculated my body mass and said "Well, you're obese" I seriously wanted to say "DUH!!", but I was speechless. Then my mom said "Well, she's been on a diet for 3 weeks now" and he said "Oh, and how much has she gained?" :mad:

So he ended up sending me to a nutrition specialist and saying I'm probably just lazy and that's why I can't concentrate. I felt awful and almost started crying right there. I'm sick of everyone putting my weight before everything else, it makes me feel I'm worthless as long as I'm fat :(

Sorry for the long post and all the venting, but I had to get it off my chest.


NotTheCheat
08-18-2006, 08:14 PM
Get a new doctor - right now!!!! That guy is a total piece of work and doesn't deserve to get your money. :hug: Don't let that guy dissuade you from your goals and dreams. Find someone to help you get there. Remember your doctor works for you.

DollyR
08-18-2006, 08:21 PM
What a jerk! I can't believe how callous some people can be. I am sorry that you had to go through this. I would say he has little bedside manner and you need a second opinion. May I ask ...What did your Mom say?


drake3272004
08-18-2006, 08:58 PM
The thing with Adult ADD is that the people who have it were ADD as children, but weren't diagnosed. If this is a more recent development then more than likely you are not ADD. My oldest stepson is ADHD and my younger stepson has a mild case of ADD, plus I know several adults that have ADD.
IT IS def time to see a different doctor!

TamiL
08-18-2006, 09:50 PM
Please do not return to that doctor. It will only make you feel bad about yourself when you shouldn't. You are taking the steps to control your weight and making changes that will surely improve your well being. Congratulations for your loss so far and the future losses you will indeed have! Heres a hug for you:hug:

cardsfan2009
08-18-2006, 10:50 PM
:mad: Oh my god! What a total @$$hole! He's not a real doctor, real doctors care about their patients! This guy obviously doesnt. Screw him, get a new doctor.

I would've had a few choice words for this guy if he said that to me.

roundRN
08-19-2006, 01:19 AM
I agree.....GET A NEW DOCTOR!!!!...Please!!! The comments that he made were totally inappropriate and just down right rude!!! If I were you...I would submit a formal complaint about this doctor....it may save someone else from getting the same uncalled for comments. I work with many doctors everyday...and if I heard one of them talk that way to a patient..I would have them written up!!! Like someone ele said too....don't let this jerk detour you from your goals....you are doing great....believe in yourself and keep up the great work!!!!

Hugs,
Liv

lewelaine
08-19-2006, 07:09 AM
wow that is a horrible doctor. I agree you should file a complaint. Switch doctors ASAP.

Laura Philly
08-19-2006, 07:13 AM
I am so sorry that this was your experience. It sounds like anyone would walk out of this man's office feeling violated and shamed. Please realize he is impaired and lacking something called compassion. If he was a knowledgeable doctor he would know that obesity is a complicated phenomina, and that there are surely genetic, emotional and nutritional factors at play. Rarely are obese people lazy, they usually have tried and tried and tried many things. Maybe try seeing a woman doctor who has some expertise in treating individuals with weight struggles. Sorry again and hang in there.

PollyRB
08-19-2006, 08:03 AM
Thanks so much for all your kind words, I'm so glad I found this place :hug: I'm seeing another doctor in a couple of weeks, I hope this time it will be different.

DollyR - My mom was almost as mad as I was when we went out of his office. We asked to talk to the chief of staff but they told us he wasn't available at the moment so we've decided to write one letter each complaining about the doctor's behaviour.

canfield3272004 - Thanks a lot for all the info, I really appreciate it :) The fact that noone noticed there was something going on before was partly my fault. They made me take a test when I was in preschool and they said I had a very high IQ, but my mom didn't want to send me to a "genious" school, so I've always been in normal schools. I never really had to concentrate to get brilliant grades, and it was easier for me to tell my parents I worked hard to get them than "it was easy". Everyone used to say I was always "In my own little world", but they never give it a second thought. So, when I started Med. School last year and really had to spend hours studying, my grades were a complete disaster, and that's when my parents started worrying. We've been researching Adult ADD for a while now, and both my mom and I think it sounds a lot like what happens to me.

sept15lija
08-19-2006, 10:14 AM
Good for you for writing a letter to complain. Hopefully they will act on it and more women will not have to go through the experience that you were unfortunately subject to. That is totally unreal that he would treat you like that!! I hope you can find a new doctor that can help you out properly - good luck with med school!!

SnShn13
08-19-2006, 12:45 PM
I am really sorry to hear that you had such a poor experience at the doctor's office. I'm glad that you're going to see a new doctor. When you find a doctor who can be supportive of you and your goals, it makes all the difference in the world. Good luck in med school too! I bet you'd be a great doctor! Well, have a great day!

drake3272004
08-19-2006, 01:03 PM
Good luck with everything:hug: It can be hard to find a doctor that suits you and your needs. Even when you find a doctor that is kinder than the last, it still might not be the one to help you. Don't let that discourage you, keep looking for the help you need.
I'm glad that you are reporting this other doctor!