General Diet Plans and Questions - Question

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09-05-2001, 05:38 PM
Hi Everyone
Nobody was in the chat room.....
I have a question about a friend of mine. She quit smoking 2 years ago and has since put on 60lbs. I've tried, over the past 2 years, to be supportive-take her out for walks or go work out, etc....but she hasn't lost the weight. Fine with me-I love her no matter what, and god knows I'm not perfect. BUT she is totally diet obsessed. We will go shopping and then to lunch, and she'll have a salad and I'll have a salad, and the entire conversation centers around her weight. She tells me what to eat, what not to eat, etc. I know she's unhappy with herself....but she isn't doing anything about it but complain. She complains ALL THE TIME.
Sunday she told me she wanted to go to the doctor and ask to get put on diet pills. She said this over an ice cream sundae.
Here is my question: how do I deal with her? How do I let her know, other than telling her (constantly) and showing her that it doesn't matter without her sinking even lower? I'm at the point now where I can't be around her for more than an hour, without our conversation going to her weight. She is in my wedding this month, and although I think she looks very nice in the dress we picked, there is something wrong with it-with her hair-with her makeup-with her arms and her stomach.......I am at the point where I want to tell her to shut up, suck it up and get off the couch.
I hope I don't sound mean, but I am so frustrated. Like I said, I'm not perfect-about 20lbs overweight, but I run and do 200 sit ups a night-I'm working on it. When I tell her what I'm doing, her back hurts or her neck hurts or she doesn't have time. Help Me.

09-05-2001, 06:47 PM
Thank you for your reply...and for being positive. I didn't want to step on any toes and I know that there are alot of supportive people on this site!

I can't see myself asking her to not be in the wedding-in fact, I don't want that for 2 reasons. 1-I dont want her to become more depressed than she is and 2-It seems pretty mean. The wedding is at the end of this month. Maybe I'll just phase out of her life after the wedding.

I wish I could have a heart to heart with her-tell her how I fell. However, I don't think she would have any other reaction than anger. I don't want to hurt her. And trust me, I've never been one to hold back. I do walk on eggshells around her........

Ok. I know, you're right. talk to her.....Is it wrong that I dread it? Is it wrong that I try to tell her about what I'm doing to try to lose weight and get frustrated when she makes excuses? Why do I feel guilty?