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Old 08-10-2006, 09:20 AM   #1  
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Default Disturbing Article for Moms losing Weight

Why would they even publish this??

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060810/...om_s_influence
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Old 08-10-2006, 09:45 AM   #2  
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I interpreted it a little differently. I think that parents who are obsessed with thinness is such a way that they participate in destructive behaviors can set poor examples for children. But if the focus is on health, through healthy foods in appropriate portions, and exercise, then kids will get that message, too. I believe that self-deprecating remarks have the potential to be harmful also. That is why it breaks my heart to read people post on here that they say, write, or think such negative things about their bodies. To a 5 year old, his or her mother is the most beautiful person on earth. For them to hear negative comments from their mother about her body can influence how they see her and how they see themselves.

Little pitchers have big ears. Mothers should try to love themselves and view themselves through their children's eyes. Celebrate your amazing body! Make it healthier, yes, but let's not disparage our physical selves. The physical self is what hugs, holds, strokes, carries, cuddles, prepares, cleans, folds, and tucks in.
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Old 08-10-2006, 10:05 AM   #3  
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I agree with you. The part that disturbed me the most was where they said that women who count the calories of everything they eat... etc. is setting a bad example.

My five year old, told me that she wanted to eat and get fat so she could be like me. I told her, I want to lose weight and be thin so I can play with her. I agree, children are sponges, but this article just hit me the wrong way for some reason.

Thanks for your input!

Amy
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Old 08-10-2006, 10:51 AM   #4  
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i agree that women who diet the WRONG way and act obsessed about it in front of their children (esp girls), can negatively give them the wrong message. BUT, i would rather teach my kids by example how to watch what i eat and be healthy, then to teach them badly by being a big, lazy, fat cow. wouldn't you agree?
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Old 08-10-2006, 10:54 AM   #5  
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I agree with you Amy. Plus I think they are drawing connections in some of the wrong places. It's natural that if a parent diets, the kids will know more about it. Same as if your Mom was a chef you'll know more about cooking or if your Dad is a banker you'll know more about finance. Also, I think some eating habits and some of being predisposed to being overweight might be genetic so it's likely that if the Mom is fat there is a chance her daughter is too and therefore may NEED that focus on healthy food. I do agree fad diets would be a problem in this area (though my Mom did a liquid diet growing up and I don't remember giving up solid food just to imitate her). However, I don't think counting calories is a fad diet and there's a difference between counting your own calories, and maybe openly counting your children's, however it would make sense if you knew how many calories a kid needs and tried to have them eat enough fruit, veggies, and protein to be a healthy mix of that.

A little unfair though, I don't think moms struggling with their weight need to worry that their healthy habits are going to ruin a kid for life any more than unhealthy/staying overweight/binging would ruin the kid.
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Old 08-10-2006, 11:58 AM   #6  
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I didn't think it was offensive or off-track. I keep track of calories, but when my neice is around, I don't make comments like, "No, I can't have that because it has too many calories," or, "Oh, I'll have dessert since I saved calories by having a salad for lunch!" Even little comments like that can make a huge impact on little minds, and they may translate it to think, "Too many calories are bad, so I'd better stop eating so much," even if they are NOT currently eating too much, or, "I did NOT have a salad for lunch, so I guess I should skip dinner." The article never said counting calories was bad, but I don't think your children need to be aware of the fact that every time you see food, the first thing you do is estimate the calories in your head

Also, the article didn't say it was studying overweight women and children--I know plenty of healthy-weight women (who have never been overweight) who still obsess over food, so even though their children are likely not predisposed to being overweight, it could still cause issues.

I guess I just feel that there is a difference between teaching children healthy habits and teaching them dieting habits. You can set a good example by eating, buying, and preparing healthy foods with your children--that doesn't mean you have to show them how to hate your less-than-perfect body parts or teach them that every unaccounted-for calorie will go straight to your hips
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Old 08-10-2006, 12:06 PM   #7  
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My children ate last night before we left the house. My husband and I didn't (it was the fend for yourself night). We were gonna go out to look at a house (possibly find another place to live). I suggested before we left that we stop by a place I like for a treat. I've eaten at this place 3 times (including last night) in 8 months. He agreed. We get there and we asked our children what they wanted. One ordered. The other one said, can I just have a drink (He LOVES this place). I thought he was trying to be cheap because we had been arguing about money. He said "mom, i'm not hungry, I already ate." So we accepted it. He ate maybe 3 spoonfuls of ours to get a taste and that was all. I looked at him and said, "Son, what you just did was a very healthy eating habit. You did not order food just to eat it because it does taste good. You recognized you were full and you stopped. With habits like that you will be healthy in life." I was so incredibly proud.
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Old 08-10-2006, 01:19 PM   #8  
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Healthy habits and dieting habits definitey are very different. The article reminded me of a little boy my mom used to babysit for after school. He was in full-day kindergarten and his mom was very thin, and "dieting." She actually sent the little boy to school with the same lunch she was having. One carton of yoghurt, or a tiny salad with light dressing. He sometimes didn't eat it at all (I wonder where he picked that up), and when he got to our house, he was starving. Mom kept snacks pretty healthy, but usually let the kids eat as much or as little as they wanted. She never knew whether to let the little guy eat to his heart's content or limit him. You just couldn't fill the little guy up.

The little boy's mother said he sometimes didn't eat breakfast because "he didn't want to get fat," and she was actually proud of him for this. My mom tried to tell her that a little kid shouldn't eat that way, but since he was a little on the thin side, but not really underweight and my mom was overweight, the woman said my mom didn't know what she was talking about.
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Old 08-10-2006, 01:27 PM   #9  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods
My mom tried to tell her that a little kid shouldn't eat that way, but since he was a little on the thin side, but not really underweight and my mom was overweight, the woman said my mom didn't know what she was talking about.
Now THAT is frustrating--like just because she's overweight, she doesn't have the knowledge to know what is or isn't healthy? I think everyone here can attest to that not being true--sooooo many of us know what we should do, but knowing and doing are two different things I used to feel that because I am overweight, I don't have the "right" to tell thinner people what is or isn't healthy (as far as food/exercise go), but then I realized, hey, I've been battling my weight my whole life--I've probably read more about healthy eating and exercise than anyone who hasn't had this problem
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Old 08-16-2006, 07:47 AM   #10  
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I agree that the unintentional influences that parents have on their children can be strong. I never worried about weight or body image when I was in high school or college and I think this was much more likely to happen because I never heard my mom talking about hating parts of her body or asking "do I look fat". It never occured to me that I should try to look like people in the media because I just assumed that they were other people and everyone looks different. I never compared myself in a negative way to models, stars, other people, etc. I also didn't hang out much with friends that were obsessed with that sort of thing during those years, and I think it was a blessing that I wasn't around those types of girls. A lot of kids get sucked into the thinness/body image drama when they're around others that talk about this stuff constantly. I'm glad I wasn't very exposed to that stuff when I was in my younger years, when it would have been much more difficult to manage things in a knowledgeable way. It also made those years much more enjoyable!!!
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