Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 08-03-2006, 08:35 PM   #1  
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I've lost 25+ pounds, but I my weight is still stuck between 242 and 246 pounds. I'm 40 years old and have been fat my whole life ... and I'm tired of dealing with it as an issue.

I was supposed to go to a co-workers wedding this weekend. Well, I'm not going. I went shopping yesterday to find something to wear, looked at myself in the store's full length mirror and I saw rolls of skin hanging from my legs. 2 rolls on each leg, to be exact. I don't have mirrors below the waist in my house and I didn't know I looked this bad. I mean, it's FLAB and it's disgusting. The fat just hangs off me. I've always hated my body. To go on like this would only be a life I'm used to ... is this fight worth it anymore, the trying to lose weight? I have no support, very few friends, never had a relationship before. And I'm so very tired. No, I'm not suicidal so that's not a direction to go in.

It's just like I'm not even here. Does it matter what kind of shape I'm in, then? I can't afford a gym membership, skin removal, liposuction. I live alone and without financial support, every cent I make is spent before I even see it.

How to I stay motivated when all I really feel is hopeless?
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Old 08-03-2006, 08:50 PM   #2  
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It's ok to feel hopeless from time to time - and to recognize that some people's time lasts longer than others . I understand from your post that you feel invisible, that you don't matter, and are wondering why you should "bother" with weight loss. Absolutely understandable. SO, why not reprioritize your weight loss goals? Perhaps it shouldn't be about looks, but about HEALTH. You are 40. Do you want to die when you are 50? or 55? THIS is the bottom line. Clothing disguises alot, but poor health as a result of excess weight is an awful burden to bear. Weight loss IS possible without surgery, gym memberships, skin removal, etc. You CAN eat healthily on a budget - it will take effort and planning, and careful selection of your foods. Look, for example, to frozen veggies vice tinned (or off-season fresh), frozen fish, eggs (egg whites are a great source of protein), buying in bulk at the Bulk Barn (rice, lentils, couscous, etc.), dried beans vice tinned beans (another great source of protein). Meal planning and freezer bags are a must! Check out this link for more help: http://www.health.gov.bc.ca/cpa/publ...yEatingdoc.pdf
There are lots of diet plans available in book form - try your local library - and for support, this forum is great. Why not set a mini-goal that is NOT scale or appearance-based - i.e. commit to 3 weeks of healthy eating. 21 days. 100% flat out. Start with the eating first - exercise will come in later but FOCUS on one thing at a time - right now an eating healthy plan is a good idea. Plan, budget, buy, and see how you FEEL afterwards. Ask yourself - am I less bloated? Is my skin clearer? Do I feel better (poor eating often equals feeling crappy for the rest of the day) physically? Forget about the negative body image - hey, if you try this for 3 weeks (only 21 days!) and feel really good, you'll be far better off than if you didn't try it at all. Of COURSE you are worth it! Please keep in touch and keep us posted!!!! Chin UP!!!!

Last edited by freiamaya; 08-03-2006 at 08:57 PM.
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Old 08-03-2006, 09:25 PM   #3  
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Also, it isn't about your friends, etc. It's about what you want for yourself. Sometimes it takes a while to want to make that commitment. I believe wholeheartedly you should look more into the health side first. Try doing a change one theory... Change one thing and master it then add another change. This helps it from being overwhelming and it also produces better habits since we have time to work on one habit by itself for a while. Try adding more fruits and veggies first. Start paying attention to foods and what you eat. Don't restrict it overnight. Just be more aware. Then practice drinking more water. THen maybe add journaling (to help you understand more about what you are doing and give you feedback). Take each step one at a time. Start with the health angle. It has to be for YOU.
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Old 08-03-2006, 09:52 PM   #4  
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This is about skin issues. I had several job interviews at a plastic surgery / cosmetic surgery office and learned some things even though I didn't get the job in the end. They give some patients EDERMOLOGIE treatments, which is supposed to smooth excess skin. I expressed skepticism and I was told they have agreements with docs that do does gastric bypass to give pts. these treatments once they had lost 80 lbs.at no extra charge. The surgeon does this because he believes it is really helpful and people think its a gimmick. It is no miracle, but it improves the situation. Also, THERMAGE is a newer, more promising , more expensive treatment that is used to make your face look younger and tigher. Some places are now using it on other baby parts, most often abdomen. Once again, we are talking small but definite improvement. Thermage may be temporary. I will leave you to look this stuff up on the internet yourself lest anyone think in error that I am a salesperson or have some other agenda. Even though these things cost a lot of money, they may offer limited improvement without undergoing major surgery.
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Old 08-03-2006, 09:55 PM   #5  
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Gosh-my post is typo city. Sorry! Tighter, not tigher,and body parts, not baby parts!
Never, never, never give up!
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Old 08-03-2006, 10:40 PM   #6  
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i found the poems below and thought that they put into words what i was having trouble saying. bottom line...your self worth is not measured in pounds, inches or your dress size.

It is rewarding to find someone whom you like, but it is essential to like yourself.

It is quickening to recognize someone as a good and decent human being, but it is indispensable to view yourself as acceptable.

It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect, admiration, and love, but it is vital to believe yourself deserving of these things.

For you cannot live in someone else. You cannot find yourself in someone else. You cannot be given a life by someone else. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave nor lose.

To the question of your life, you are the only answer.

To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.


~~ Author Unknown ~~



You are worthy of reaching for the greatest accomplishments…

And you are worthy of achieving them, no matter what other people think of you, no matter what you have done up to this point in life.

You are worthy of the best.

You are unique, you are special.

You have much value to offer, regardless of what anyone has told you.

And no one can express that value but you.

You are the person who deserves to live your dream.

You are the only one who has what it takes to reach that dream.

If you can see it, if you can imagine it, if you can dream it, you are worthy of reaching it.

And it is possible.

No one will hand it to you.

In fact, you'll strive day and night to reach it.

When you give the best you have, when you refuse to be stopped by the obstacles in your way, when you do what must be done, you'll get what you deserve—a full, rich life that is like no other.

Each day, with your thoughts and actions, live up to the fact that you are the best.


~~ Author Unknown ~~
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Old 08-03-2006, 11:00 PM   #7  
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Jezebelle, I've been thinking about your post. You have done so well in losing 25+ lbs. I don't know what your goal weight would be, but if you could accomplish this same feat you already have (losing 25 lbs.) 4 more times you would probably be sitting pretty.These are the type of thoughts I am trying to dwell on for myself. Maybe you should reconsider going to the wedding and try to be happy for your friends who are getting married. Clothes shopping is always a trial for me too..I had 2 weddings to go to in the last 3 wks. Maybe you could take a closer look in your closet to see if something could be dresssed up with some fancy jewelry and shoes. Perhaps you could squeeze in some shopping time on Friday?
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Old 08-03-2006, 11:17 PM   #8  
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Jezebelle, I used to think along those same lines. (why bother?) I knew that with as much weight as I had to lose, that I would have a lot of loose skin. I knew that due to finances and health problems that I have that most plastic surgeons wouldn't touch me. My health was poor and I lost the weight anyway. I am now much healthier than 1 yr. ago. I don't regret it for a second . Even with the saggy boobs, flappy arms, saggy and flat butt, and loose, baggy skin on my upper thighs. Take a good look at my avatar and can you tell that my skin looks like this. No. Everywhere I go, people think I look great. The extra skin isn't exposed to the world. True, I'll never wear a bikini in public but that is Okay. I am learning to love and appreciate my body for what it is. It will never be perfect, but it's the only one I have. Even with all my flaws, it looks 100% better than it did 93 lbs. ago. Good luck to you and I just wanted you to know that due to health problems that can arise with being over-weight, that NO MATTER WHAT losing weight is totally worth it.
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Old 08-03-2006, 11:50 PM   #9  
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Hey I am stuck at 246 too! Hang in there!!! We'll break through this!!!!

And I can't afford those things you mentioned either... hey, just get out there and do what you can! There are a LOT of exercises you can do free or for very low investment (such as a set of workout balls for $14, etc.).
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Old 08-04-2006, 12:11 AM   #10  
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lillybelle you have made some very good points, thank you. I started to think about skin years ago when I had my kids who are now adults. I didn't have a weight problem and I was very young but I was one of those whose tummy skin just did not recover well after pregnancy,despite exercise. So in the back of my mind I am scared of what my going- through- menopause skin will look like and the thought is not helping my dieting efforts. Now that I am developing some health problems I am shifting more thoughts from vanity to life itself.
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Old 08-04-2006, 09:40 AM   #11  
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I too felt that way.. "why bother" I was always fat and I always will be.
The older I get ( i'm 43) the harder it is to lose.
Well, having friends who got diabetes and heart problems because of weight made me realize there is more to life than shoving food in my face.
The day my husband went for a walk and I couldn't keep up with him, forced me to look at my own health issues because of my addiction. My asthma is worse, my bp is high and the weight around my middle is increasing my odds of heart disease. I have to lose it for me, not for the bikini, or the short shorts but to live.
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Old 08-05-2006, 11:33 AM   #12  
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Thank you all for the replys. I was in a horrible mood when I posted this thread and I cried as I typed. I don't think you all need me to tell you what it feels like to be alone in this little war. I notice I am not alone when I visit this board. Thank you all for just being here.

I have a thin little 36 year old friend who's had 3 children and I don't see an ounce of fat on her. I see myself working for my money so I can pay my bills and last week she went to HUD and welfare to apply for assistance so she can move out of her living situation that her boyfriend has been paying for in the last 5 years. I see myself struggling with my weight issue and I see the way she hasn't got a care in the world. I feel like a great big baby who deserves to have a tantrum: IT'S NOT FAIR!!!! One person carries a thousand pounds of stress (and bulk!) and another smokes her pot, gets drunk and couldn't care less ... that particular friendship is EXPENSIVE emotionally for me and the woman at the other end of this has no clue. This hurts me ladies, and it hurts me hard. To spend less time with her would absolutely benefit me greatly, I know this. I'm single and have no kids-we are night and day as people. I feel like I can't cut her off right now when she's at such a low point, because that's the kind of person I am. However, when I rethink this, she's always at one low point or other and is always needy. But I'm dangling off a sting over here and if I have to choose where I'm going to direct my attention, I'm going to pick myself aren't I? YES without even thinking about it. A given, from me to me.

I'm going to the wedding today. I found something to wear, it's a 300 or so people wedding and casual will fly attire-wise. To stay home and sulk would only make me feel guilty and they'd just talk about me at work for not being there. You know how that is The bride started off as a student worker in the office and is now full time. I watched her wait 5 years or so for him to ask, and he gave her a diamond for Valentine's Day last year. They both have huge families and the planning must have been a nightmare. She's asked me several time if I'm coming and I can't hurt her by not being there. If nothing else, at least the beer will be cold LOL. One, I have to drive home. New York state is very unforgiving, understandably so. I hope the wedding is slammin' for her-they have a red-headed daughter that is one **** of a spitfire!

lilybelle, what can I tell you? You look great! Living proof that it CAN be done, might be a royal pain in the arse but oh-freakin-well, lotsa things in life are. Suck It Up Sister, as I've been told at work everytime the workload is heavy. At least we are here to have the stuggle and I need to remember that when I'm feeling low.

I can't comment individually to everyone who posted here due to time-wedding is at 3:00 pm and I just got a call that my new glasses are ready for me to pick up. YAY! I am doing well, I have lost some weight and I haven't smoked a cigarette since January 8th of this year. Sorry for the rant, I work at a college and classes start in a few weeks meaning summer is basically over. Upstate NY snow weather is a few months away and I'm just not ready to think like that yet (although I do love the Fall season in color and smell!)-but I've decided to pinch a gym membership into my budget no matter how hard it hurts and just dedicate the next year to working hard. I have a loan that will be paid off in 11 payments-my social life is asleep until I have that off of me financially so I may as well sweat it off with the best of them. What's a year? I'm 40 and then I'll be 41. Big whoopie.

OMG I feel like I should pay you guys for this session-take Visa, Mastercard, Discover?
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