100 lb. Club - An attack of the can'ts.........

View Full Version : An attack of the can'ts.........

07-30-2006, 05:21 PM
It's happened to me too, I'm getting sick of this long long road, and I am getting to the point where my inner fat chick is saying "can't".

Can't keep exercising all the time neglecting other areas of my life.

Can't keep thinking about food all the time, what I can eat, what I can't.

Can't keep waiting for the next drop on the scales (so she won't let me weigh anymore - which is possibly a good thing)

I've always felt so motivated and committed (probably a better word) and whilst I've had my fairly public downs, I am usually able to get through that and out the other side.

It's important to me to keep doing thing, because I know the health risks are still very real at this weight. And because I feel the need to be more comfortable, and this weather has caused such fluid retention, that I am sure will be better as I lose more weight.

I have recently come back from three weeks in Australia, which I have barely talked about to anyone. Because I loved it so much, and feel such an intense homesickness, which before I would have medicated with food. Now I kinda feel that security blanket has gone, and I just don't know how to cope with it.

I know I am not alone here, and I just needed to reach out.

Thanks lovelies.

07-30-2006, 06:10 PM
You are certainly not alone. Glad you could share ~ hang in there!!

Get n healthy
07-30-2006, 07:57 PM
OMG, i know that case of the "can'ts" well. my life is just a roller coaster of it. I lost 100 gained 80 back, lost 30 gained 15. So here i am again. I get SO tired of the struggle every day...it is just exhausting. But i am trying to just take it one day at a time and know this is my "life burden". Others have alcohol, gambling, etc...mine just happens to be a struggle with food, which personally i think happens to be a harder fight. You dont tell an alcoholic he has to go in a bar and drink only light beer 3 times a day. But over weight people are expected to eat "light" every day, three times a day. Our addiction is different in that we have to have our vise to live...an alcoholic can avoid bars...an overweight person cant avoid food. But i am trying to see the long road and think that even if i messed up today, i still have tomorrow and i can get back on track.

07-30-2006, 08:13 PM
Wow we are all in the same fight.
I am so proud of you for coming here and posting. When I feel where you are I slither off. Welp hope not this time hope I have grown and am here good bad or ugly. You are here so you have crossed over Whoo hoo. Focus on how great it is to be in onderland ahhh to be there with you. Talk about your wonderful trip it will be a way to relive it. I for one would love to hear about it. Probably will never get to go myself so can live thru your experiences. Type away. You are not alone!!!!!

07-30-2006, 08:42 PM
i have been having those same cant feelings ! got to just pull myself together and jump back on the wagon though!

07-30-2006, 09:46 PM
You are awesome. You've come so far already and you'll make it through this rough patch too. Thank you for sharing your frustration with all of us, and I hope that it helped you feel a little better about the situation. Homesickness is so hard, but journaling about it (either here or on paper) might help fill that void that food would have previously.

07-31-2006, 04:47 AM
Sorry you are having a rough time right now, we all have them, and maybe just by sharing what you are feeling and seeing all the support here it will help you to push past it!! ((HUGS)) Don't forget what an awesome job you have done so far!!!

07-31-2006, 05:56 AM
Hello kykaree,

I hope you are feeling better by now...I can relate to how you are feeling. Fortunately, these feelings usually don't last!
I was wondering...do you have a mini-goal that you might focus on?? One a bit closer than your overall goal, one that might help energize you, and bring back some fun to your journey??

07-31-2006, 07:13 AM
Thanks guys. I think my general feelings are a lot stronger than in the past. I really am completely fed up with the whole process. I just can't seem to get my groove back at all. I knew the first two weeks after I come back from holiday would be tough but its week four now.

I think what I really need is an exercise buddy or even a personal trainer to get me motivated again. Goal setting for me is just not a motivator, nor is fitting into the next size down in clothes.

My basic internal drive to lose weight and get fitter has just vamoosed, and this is the first time in 18 months that this has happened. I'm terrified that I'm going to chuck it in.

07-31-2006, 09:52 AM

I had those feelings last week quite strongly myself... and I came on here and talked about it and it helped a lot, especially just in knowing that these things happen to ALL of us at one point or another.

One thing I've been toying with is just easing up a little... and being okay with that. Throughout this journey, I have successfully had days when I controlled my eating enough to lose at least 1 pound/week... so at least a 500 cal deficit each day. The past week or so, I have let that slide and eaten a few hundred extra cals/day. Basically giving myself a treat or so, or just extra food. I don't want to lose control, but it is easy to get sick of this.

So, maybe my advice is to let yourself not be in that groove for a while. Don't go totally nuts, but give yourself a break. Sounds like you're dealing with at least 2 issues: getting back on track after a break and maybe a bit of depression and homesickness.

I think the idea of a trainer is a great one! I would love to do that and almost see that as an indulgence for myself (how odd when that would have been a punishment in the past!). Why NOT treat yourself to a trainer! COuld be just the thing you need to shake things up a bit!

:hug: again. You aren't alone here and others know what you're going through. Reach out or vent as often as you want!!

07-31-2006, 02:35 PM
kykaree -

:hug: for you. I'm sorry you're feeling so homesick and I'm sure we all would love to hear more about your trip when you're ready to share it.

In the meantime, I wanted to say that, while lurking and now as a member of this board, I have been so impressed with your dedication, willingness to try new things and I love your sense of humor! I know what it's like to lose steam and while I wish I were further along (I started in 2002!), I've also been able to maintain the bulk (ha!) of the weight I lost since then, so I'm glad of that. I'm a bit of a plodder, a slow-n-steady kind of loser and while I lose more slowly, I'm also less prone to burnout. I know most people don't want to lose momentum and I envy those that can barrel on toward their goal full-bore, but would you consider giving yourself a short "break" to relax just a bit before returning to all the things that have made you successful so far? I'm not staying "chuck it," just ease up in any way that makes you feel less burdened. Again, I realize this will NOT work for many people but taking a break, even an unintentional one, proved to me that I can maintain AND now, that I can get back in the proper mindset to finish the job.

All the best to you!


07-31-2006, 03:54 PM
A couple of thoughts...

I also think the idea of a trainer is really good. Something new and different and a change to focus on. You don't have to completely let go of what you're doing nutrition-wise, but you can change your immediate, first focus to working with the trainer. I'd give it a try...

Also, if you're not already doing so, I suggest looking around the maintainer's forum. There are some really interesting people there, with a lot of different thoughts and ideas which might be helpful. They have a lot of old "saved" threads - sort of a greatest hits idea. And they have a checking in conversation thread which is nice, too. I'm sure they will have all been where you are, and will have lots of different ideas on how to deal with it.

At the very least, even if you back off on the forward progress for a bit, make sure you don't go backward, if you can. Nothing wrong with maintaining where you are for a while, because I think your mojo will come back eventually. You can't accomplish what you have already without being a strong person.


07-31-2006, 04:13 PM
Kylie, :grouphug:

First of all, don't suffer in silence. I'm glad you're back posting on here, just talking about it is sometimes the first step. I can understand you feeling down about being back from Aus and missing everything over there, I guess the important thing is to find some reasons you enjoy life over here and try to focus on those for a while while you get your head back in gear. Remember how much fun that weekend in London was, and how much more fun Amsterdam will be! We won't let you not enjoy yourself that weekend ;)

You know you've done fantastically in getting to where you are, so don't lose sight of that, even if you decide to ease off and maintain for a while. Not weighing sounds like a good plan to take the pressure off a bit, as long as you don't use it as an excuse to fall completely off the wagon. But you don't need me to tell you that. You probably don't need me to tell you any of this, because I know you know what you need to do (did that make sense), but if you need to take some time without as much pressure on you, that's no failure. You've lost a lot of weight, and you're so much fitter than you used to be. You did a 10k run!!!

If you want me to come over to Rammie for a :kickbutt: session, let me know. I might spare you the really long runs, but you know you can call me anytime if you need to.

08-01-2006, 07:45 PM
Hummm...I wanna go to Amsterdam!!

Ky, think of what you CAN do and you CAN have now! You are in amazing shape! I hope the homesickness will be brief...

08-01-2006, 11:04 PM

08-02-2006, 01:39 AM
Ack, it is so awful to feel this way (feelin' the same way here), specially after doing so well. Haven't got any advice for you, just co-miserating and sharing :hug:'s

08-02-2006, 07:35 AM
Hey you're one of my heroes on here!

I'd suggest thinking that your 'can't' is really a 'won't'. You can, of course you can, but why dont you want to? If its that you want to treat yourself because you miss you family then do that, just in a different way. If its that you want to communicate how much you miss your family then do that, again just in a different way.

If it comes down to it and the only way to feel better is to have a pig out then do that just limit it to a weekend, for example.

Really what is the other choice? Chuck it all in and put the weight back on? I'm where you just came from and I'm sure where you are now is better. Wyllenns idea about having a break might be a good one.

My point of posting is really just to say 'hey we all care' and if any of my ideas help then I'm glad. x

08-02-2006, 11:56 AM
Hey, be sure to keep posting.:hug: How could I do without you as an example. You think there are that many asthmatics who love to swim who have managed to get below 200 out there?


08-02-2006, 01:46 PM
:hug: I soooo understand and am feeling the same. I am encouraged by the wisdom of the posters on this board. I don't know the answers but will eagerly read the suggestions along with you.

08-02-2006, 05:18 PM
Awwwwwwwww thanks guys, shucks!

I think you've hit the nail on the head Coley. I've kinda got to the stage where I don't want to do this as much as I did.

I think part of the missing Australia thing is I miss how I felt over there. I just completely relaxed for three weeks, and didn't really think about how I ate, drank or moved. I have certainly changed a lot and was pretty impressed that left to my own devices I didn't go back to my old lifestyle.

I'll get my act together though. I love my exercise, and I love my healthy foods. I just need to make some minor alterations and I'll be back on track. But not as hard on myself!

08-03-2006, 12:04 AM
Kykaree, what you are feeling is normal. I had the same thoughts along my weight loss journey. I simply got tired of it. I was tired of worrying about the scale and about what I ate every single bite. Each time it happened, it took me a few days to get over these feelings. Trying to lose weight can become so all-encompassing for each of us. I would go to bed thinking about it and wake up feeling my stomach to see if I felt fatter. There were many times that I thought of just stopping short of my goal. I am thankful now that I plugged along, even at times that I didn't lose and my heart wasn't in it. I kept telling myself that if I quit now, that I will gain it all back. By all means, try to take a little break from the scale watching and try to relax and enjoy your accomplishment thus far, but don't give up. For me, learning that I couldn't and wouldn't quit totally, was the peace of mind that I needed. Good luck and know that many of us have been there and had those same feelings. It may not seem like it right now, but later you will realize that it was totally worth the effort.

08-03-2006, 11:03 AM

I can totally relate to the homesickness. When I am here in the summer, I truly get some days where I dread going back. I wish with all my heart I could find the same kind of job and place here in the states but right now its not possible.

What do I do?? I try to refocus on other things. Go for long walks think about how much better my life is now than it used to be.

You are doing an awesome job and have accomplished so much. You inspire and motivate others with your positive attitude and encouragement. I believe these feelings you are having will pass with time but just go easy on yourself. Try to focus away from them. You are doing well and will continue to do well after you get over this hump.

:grouphug: :balloons: