Weight Loss Support - Missing buddies............




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Jayde
07-15-2006, 09:34 PM
I discovered today that a member of 3FC who inspired me to begin moving my behind has not posted in more than 6 weeks. She wasn't a "buddy" of mine.. but just someone who posted often.. and whose posts I read often. I just searched for her last post and was sad to discover it was a post in response to someone she thought was giving her a hard time in a debate. After this post ... nothing....

This missing 3FC member seemed to be having a hard time getting her plan together.. yet she showed so much progress in changing her mind set. Now she is gone... Was it because of the thread she posted on? Was it something else?

There is no way for me to contact her.. I want to reach out and find out how she is doing.. is she gone with hard feelings? Did she find some support elsewhere? Is she just busy? There is no way for me to know.

I searched to see if anyone was looking for her.. I found nothing.. that doesn't mean no one noticed she disappeared.. her message box could be almost full of people reaching out...

It is so sad..
I think of her slipping backwards
and hope it is not true
wondering if she is coming back

It also has me wondering if my buddy Casey is gone...
She hasn't posted in a couple of weeks.. but she is a busy person
What if like this other poster she just disappears...

I'm really sad tonight thinking about it ...
I went from a nearly perfect day to this sadness..

It makes me realize that this cyber support is all up to us.
Unlike a support system of friends who would break down a door to find out how we are if we disappear.. cyberfriends are helpless to know and helpless to even find out.

I haven't been here long enough to make true connections with anyone. So I wonder.. if I disappear.. would anyone miss me? Of course I can't help to have these thoughts.

This member who has been gone for 6 weeks... she joined only a month before me.. Was she here long enough to make a friend before she disappeared only 3 months after becoming a member?

Sorry to be so down.. but I find this incredibly sad.
Again.. this journey.. this support is what we make it.
Make it strong!


Tealeaf
07-15-2006, 11:56 PM
I think that all internet based forums do have a certain amount of turn-over, and I believe that diet based support groups this might be even higher.

People do often get annoyed when they are in a debate and leave. It's sad really because while one member might be a pain to you, there are many more that are wonderfully supportive. If you find yourself knocking heads with someone its so easy to just ignore that one person.

Still, that might not be the reason she left. I know I go through periods where I simply don't post very much. The demands on her time in her daily life might have simply changed and she don't go on the internet as much any more. She might have been posting on several support based websites and decided to focus on a different one from this.

Of course, it could also be that weight loss efforts slowed, or stopped, or reversed themselves. People do often have false starts in their diets; I know I had several. It is unfortunate, but a fact of life.

So her being gone could be for any number of reasons. It's sad, but it doesn't necessarily mean bad news for her. It doesn't mean that she won't ever be back though!

Abbeycat36
07-16-2006, 03:54 AM
Maybe send her a private message and if she happens to log in to read messages she will get it at least. Tell her you're thinking of her and wanted to say hi.

She might just be taking some time to herself to assess her feelings? Hopefully she'll come back.

~ Angie


Jayde
07-16-2006, 09:35 AM
Maybe send her a private message and if she happens to log in to read messages she will get it at least. Tell her you're thinking of her and wanted to say hi.

Thanks, Angie. That's a good idea.

Jayde
07-16-2006, 09:42 AM
Of course, it could also be that weight loss efforts slowed, or stopped, or reversed themselves. People do often have false starts in their diets; I know I had several. It is unfortunate, but a fact of life.

This is exactly what I hope is not the reason. But of course I think that in a forum like this when someone drops out it is a good possibility. I quit a support group several years ago after I fell off the wagon and ballooned right back up. I'm determined not to let this happen again.

Maybe that is a big part of what upset me yesterday. Realizing that it would be so easy for me to repeat the past.

For better or for worse, I am here to stay. Hopefully it will be for better. I aspire to one day write a goal thread.

So her being gone could be for any number of reasons. It's sad, but it doesn't necessarily mean bad news for her. It doesn't mean that she won't ever be back though!

True.. if she does return I'll be here for her.

Thanks, Annie

Abbeycat36
07-16-2006, 04:06 PM
Jayde,

I agree.. I'm sticking this thing out!! Hopefully this site will be here for a long time.

I find it keeps me in the 'mood' to think about keeping on my plan if I read about it. I've only been here a few weeks but usually by this time on past diets, I've become depressed and get that "oh, no fair.. life sucks.. am I the only one who has this damn problem" feeling. This way, I know LOTS of people share my problems. My husband is a wonderful and supportive person, but he is 145 pounds. He can understand ONLY so much.

~ Angie

Tealeaf
07-16-2006, 10:26 PM
I'm pretty sure this site isn't going anywhere anytime soon. The mods really do seem to be dedicated, and even with the turnover, there is a large and active user base. I wouldn't be worried about that!

Glad to hear your hubby is so supportive. Mine didn't believe that I was doing this for real until I had lost around 50 pounds. But he's a believer now.

Jayde
07-17-2006, 03:02 AM
This way, I know LOTS of people share my problems. My husband is a wonderful and supportive person, but he is 145 pounds. He can understand ONLY so much.

Yes, my husband is very supportive in any effort I make to improve myself. Whether it be education, hobby, community, or health. But he too can "ONLY" understand so much.

Actually... if I am working out to him that seems to be some kind of sacred time. If the phone rings... he'll take a message without even telling me it's for me. If our son wants something he won't allow him to interrupt me even for a second. He'll even go so far as to do whatever for our son instead. That's unusual.. it's usually me that "does". By the same token though, if I am doing ANY other activity... cooking, reading, sleeping... I get interrupted all the time. :dizzy:

Honey doesn't understand my interest in 3FC.. he's been downright insensitive about it. He has no idea how important it is to me. Yes, there are times when I could just slap him. :devil: But I don't cause he really is a good guy.

Long live 3FC!

Abbeycat36
07-17-2006, 03:10 AM
Jayde, that's really great that your husband helps you out by deflecting any interruptions for you while you are exercising. It shows he's really supportive of it and takes it seriously.

My husband too has always said "whatever you want to do, I'll help any way I can, just let me know". He's such an easy guy! I love that!

Tealeaf,
congrats on the -50. That is a big accomplishment! Thumbs up to you!! :encore: