I am just lost right now. I need some support! I have a lot of weight to lose, I am only 22, work full time and have a totally fit, thin, healthy VERY active husband -who is my best friend.
This is so hard doing this alone! I haven't lived in NC too long, and have been so busy since Ive been here that I havent been able to make any good solid girlfriend friendships to rely on.. the ones I have made are all skinny! lol
Do any of you struggle with staying consistant to any weight loss regime with a healthy fit hubby (or wife or kids or whatever) living with you?
Its so hard... I do okay during the day while i am on my own at work, then I come home and eeekk... He is real supportive, but its hard when he says he wants a pizza or Chik-fil-a----i dont really put up any arguments!
How do you deal? Lend me some motivation please! lol
I feel like I need to report to someone instead of being kinda out there in the wind.. otherwise I start making deals with myself. LOL If I eat this... or if I dont workout today.... argg...
Any suggestions? Want to be my drill instructor?
07-13-2006, 12:49 AM
My husband isn't 'fit and thin', but he just isn't interested in losing weight with me right now--don't get me wrong; he supportive of ME, but he loves his food. LOL!
Often I have to leave the room when he eats. Luckily, I don't have to worry about him wanting fast food alot because he doesn't like to spend the money on it.;) Can you make a deal with your hubby...say, he only has his fast food every 2 weeks or something like that? That way if you do want to eat what he's eating, you can do so without totally wrecking your diet.:cool:
Oh, and I know what you mean about not having friends around to help push you. We just moved here not long ago, so I don't have any friends in this town, either.:(
07-13-2006, 12:55 AM
Welcome Dear ^_^
I'm going to be 22 in a month, and I have a very nice looking boyfriend who is always catching the eyes of the girls. (I need a stick to beat them off with @_@) (I have no job though *twitch*. I feel so worthless) Anyways! lol
I find it hard to stay motivated. I'm the biggest in the family now, even after losing 40 pounds. but I still try and keep it up because I'm just tired of being this way.
I know I sucks to go to work and then have to come home and wok out and have a hubby who is eating the wrong kind of food in front of you. Sometimes you just have to be strong. I learn to make my own food. Yeah there is food here for 5 people but it's not healthy, so I make myself something. Is is just the 2 of you? It should be pretty easy to make different meals if he's not going to fallow your diet too. (being as nice as you make him sound I guess he dosn't nee to ^_~ )
Ot try talking to him, he sounds like he's understanding. let him know that it's hard to stick to your plan when he keeps bringing in temptation ^_^.
As for the working out. as I always say..."The hardest part of working out is the first step out the door." Everytime I feel like not going I just walk out the door and suddenly it dosn't seem so bad and I may as well walk to the car and drive to the gym and ta-da! I'm there. works everytime. ^_^
07-13-2006, 01:08 AM
I don't have a fit, active husband, but I have a fit, active teenage son. My son, in theory, thinks we should eat healthy and we both basically agree that the mediterranean style diet is the healthiest and most convenient choice for both of us. HOWEVER! He *is* a taller-than-average sixteen-year-old, so in the same breath he can ask to go to Cold Stone and can eat huge amounts of food.
Tonight, I cooked him a pan of Tuna Helper. I ate leftover fish and a micro-baked potato, we both had green beans, and he has some leftover Tuna Helper to heat up for lunch tomorrow.
He usually does eat what I eat, but eats a much larger quantity.
When he requests unhealthy stuff, I give him $5 and tell him to do it when I'm not around, or else when he goes to the fast-food restaurant I go run an errand, exercise, or go to the grocery store.
I try to take advantage of his fit-ness and do active things with him.
07-13-2006, 03:06 AM
Im not married but I have a very attractive boyfriend who is perfect without having to try very hard. He does go to the gym, so he is fit. I am lucky that he is supportive on my weight loss. He exercises with me and when he cooks dinner he always keeps in mind my diet. He is great!
Maybe you can get your guy behind you on this. Agree to healthy meals together. Maybe you can jog together or somthing. I really makes all the difference to have someone so close supporting you in your efforts.:hug:
07-13-2006, 08:55 AM
I had to overhaul the way we eat around here! My hubby is a super fit, gym rat that can run miles without thinking about it...BRAT! We can't really work out together because I get down because I can't keep up with him, and then I get mad, and well, that doesn't go too well.
His eating needed to be changed because it just wasn't healthy, so when I started on this stuff, I just made changes that everyone can deal with and what changes I didn't make in their diets, I can improvise in mine. He had no trouble switching to whole wheat bread, skim milk, fat free cheese and all that. He DOES make his white bread in the bread machine, does make homemade pizzas and all that good stuff, but nowhere near as often as he did.
We cut out fast food for the most part. Even when we do eat fast food we try to make partially healthy choices.
It really wasn't that hard to sell him on it. I have 3 kids to sell on it too...lol...they don't complain too much. Have you talked to him about the eating thing? Since he's in good shape, he might would enjoy the benefits of being in even better shape because of an improved diet!
07-13-2006, 09:14 AM
LOL, my husband is not fit and active but he's 203 pounds and 6 foot tall. He doesn't look fat at all and eats a whole large pizza in one sitting! Atleast I don't have to worry about it being left in the refridgerator. It drives me crazy.
When we met 10 years ago he took it upon himself to teach me how to love food. I was literally starving myself to stay at 115 pounds, I would eat once a day and usually it was fast food. He would cook wonderful meals and I would eat them. Fast forward a few years and 2 more kids, I weighed over 200 pounds in April!! The sad part is, he gained only a few pounds in the last decade and he can lose it by dieting for a few weeks! Its just so unfair! He won't diet with me either. The only saving grace is he does not eat McDonalds, Burger King, etc. That removes alot of the temptation for me because I am a fast food addict.
07-13-2006, 10:57 AM
My fiancee is fit, thin and a bit active. He seems to be able to eat a lot of food without gaining weight. I'm amazed at how many bones I can see on his body and I often wonder if those bones exist on mine :)
He is very supportive which helps. I'm doing a very restricted eating plan this week and I was concerned he would think I was crazy, but he went to the store and helped me buy what I needed.
For food: I cook the same thing for both of us. I may give him a little more food than me but he eats what I eat. He has snacks I don't eat or I eat very rarely. He likes snacking on peanuts, peanut butter and whole grain cereals. He likes eating healthy though so it is helpful.
For exercise: He started hiking before me and is much better at it than me but we go hiking together. I may be slower than he is but he hikes with me, sometimes climbing up some things I don't climb up but that is ok. We go to the gym together and do the same exercise machines and I basically design the work out plan. Also, we'll go walking occassionally depending on the situation and I usually initiate the walk.
My recommendation is to make smart choices if your husband wants to eat out. I'd also tell him that you need his support and you'd like to stay away from certain foods for a while. When I told my BF that I wanted to lose weight, he started helping me make healthier choices and eating out at healthier restaurants.
07-13-2006, 11:25 AM
After I had William and wanted to start getting healthy, I suggested to my DH (who was not fit or very active at the time) to do the 2 week rapid weight loss thing Dr. Phil had designed. He balked at it and after that wasn't too supportive. He didn't want to change his life and felt like I was taking away all the good stuff and replacing it with rabbit food.
I persisted. Instead many times we do still eat a lot of the same foods, I just eat smaller portions. Since then he will at least try my new endeavors into healthier meals and he will probably resume his gym membership in the fall.
A great suggestion is to sit down with him and have a long heart to heart. Tell him exactly what you are doing, how you hope to accomplish this and tell him you'd at least like him to be supportive if not participate. Let him know his suggestions of fast food will only sabotage you. See if he'd like to walk in the evenings (or whatever exercise you choose) with you. If you don't think you could express your feelings this way, you might write him a letter and have him read it and then discuss it afterward.
Like one of the PP said, if he really wants fast food then plan for it a week out or so. Chances are you know what is on the menu at said place. Find a meal that fits into your plan and know what you want to order beforehand. Do not deviate from it and you will feel so great for being able to eat a a fast food place and make it healthy as possible!!!
07-13-2006, 11:41 AM
Well, my hubby has done some of the program I'm doing with me already, and he'll be doing it with me again soon, but even when he's not ... he's very supportive. He's not really thin or so active, so he's lost some weight with this and everything, but this is something that even athletes and fitness buffs do because of how great it is for the body ... promotes lean muscle and reduces body fat and cleanses and nourishes your entire body. For those like me though who have weight to lose, it definitely helps with that.
So maybe if you found something he'd like to do as well you'd be able to do it together, but for different reasons. It's obvious from what you're saying that he doesn't need to lose weight, but everyone can benefit from eating healthier and such.
Anyway, some things to think about :). My hubby still eats junk and such, but I try to make sure when he does that, it's away from me, altho I did go to Burger King the other day with him and the kids, and I didn't eat anything, just was there for the kids to play in the play area. Since being on the program I don't much crave that kinda stuff anymore, and then when I do and eat some ... YUCK! lol. I still have cravings, but it's not nearly as bad as before. You can do this though. We just have to learn to say no sometimes. We may not like it at the time but we will later :).
07-13-2006, 11:47 AM
My husband is skinny and muscular....
He's 6'2", and when we met weighed maybe 160lbs! He is now up to 200lbs, and healthy... he works a hard labor job, and isn't genetically inclined for weight gain.
When I started Optifast, I sat him down and told him, specifically and directly, what I need from him to be successful.
1. Do your best not to eat in front of me - especially snacks.
2. Do not mention needing/wanting to do on "munchie runs"
3. If you want to go out to eat, go - just know that I won't be going with you (at least not until I can handle being around food); but I'm not going to tell you that you can't go out to eat.
4. Don't tell me how hungry you are! You have no clue the physical and mental hunger that I deal with - your is laughable in comparison (not to mention, you can just go get something to eat - I CAN'T)
5. When I do start cooking, we are eating meals together - I can't cook two meals, and it won't help me if you get to eat the high fat, high carb stuff and I can't.
6. If I ask you to go for a walk with me, don't roll your eyes and whine - just say come along because you know it helps me.
7. Pick up your messes in the kitchen - I'm not eating, so I'm not cleaning your supper mess - not to mention I don't want to see the leftovers or feel like I have to miss out on certain things.
8. Unless I say something first, please do not talk about food with me, and try to cut back on watching the food network when I am home.
This isn't everything, I'm sure... but overall, he has done a great job with everything and doesn't want to sabbotage me in any way. So far it has worked - but it wouldn't have if I didn't tell him specifically what I felt I needed from him in order to be successful.
This is what you should do - but don't be demanding, just talk about it.. and see what he is agreeable to doing for you.
07-13-2006, 12:58 PM
I'm 22 this month (not that is makes a difference, just thought I'd point it out). My husband is pretty fit. He's 6'1 and 200 lbs or so. We eat together (at night anyway) and I cook the same things for the both of us. But like most others said, I just eat much smaller portions than he does. We only eat out once a week (be it fast food or an actual restaurant) and I do the best I can there by making smarter food choices. As far as exercise goes, we do some things together like taking walks with the dog or swimming. But he's a runner, and I'm not there yet so I usually just go for a nice long walk in the evenings while he runs (err...I used to and am going to start back *cross my heart*). He's extremely supportive but he will get on me if he thinks that I am not eating enough. I would say sit down and have a talk with your husband. Suggest that you all cut back on the fast food and start doing some active things together. Biking, hiking, swimming... Lots of activities (I think) are more fun with two. If you both have gym memberships (or a home gym), maybe you could start going together and he could be a sort of trainer for you.
07-13-2006, 01:10 PM
I'm with ya girlfriend. I'm in the same boat. My DF 6'1 and 145 lbs. Practically underweight, and he can't gain and ounce. It's hard because he can sit there and eat 3 cheeseburgers and not gain an ounce, while I eat one french fry and bloat up like a balloon.
If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. :)
07-13-2006, 01:19 PM
I am like alot of you. My hubs is totally fit & healthy where I am working on loosing weight. He can eat anything that he wants and not gain an ounce and as for me, well.... I gain. I know my weight goal is 130 but I can't wait for the day that I weigh less then him. :)
07-13-2006, 01:53 PM
I'm now having the opposite problem. I am now so active, at the gym 5 days a week, and my hubby is just not like that. He is fairly slim, but has always been that way, but apart from some walking, we just don't have that much in common activity wise.
So whilst at the moment it's a negative, perhaps having an active, healthy hubby could be a good thing. I would love to be able to go to the gym with mine, or go for a bike ride, or a swim - but it just won't happen.
So try turning what is now a negative, into a positive. Weight loss, exercise and healthy eating can be a lonely business, if you can get your hubby involved in a positive way, it could help your weight loss and your relationship.
07-13-2006, 02:31 PM
Listen, if he is your best friend then he understands you pretty well. You need to TALK to him about this. Don't assume anything. For one thing, you can fix healthy yummy meals and lose weight without him feeling deprived. My husband weighs 160 lbs less than I do, he can walk anywhere he wants without getting tired, etc. I COOK! I know for younger women, who work full time that is a dirty word, but buy yourself a crockpot and the Fix it and Forget it Lightly cookbook and go to it. You can put it on in the morning and it is done in the evening when you get home. I am fixing Coq Au Vin tonight for dinner! As for the pizza etc, I would do two things. I would have Lean Cuisine, WW whatever pizzas in your freezer and eat one of those when he wants pizza. If he wants chick-fil-a I think they have chicken sandwiches that aren't wrapped in batter and fried. I would ask him to cut out the eating junk food except for once every two weeks or so at the most, once a month is better. Plan for it and have whatever you want on that day. Don't even worry about the calories, just only do it once in awhile.
Good luck to you and I know you can do this!
07-13-2006, 03:34 PM
He could be your activity coach or something too maybe? Not only talk to him about what you need in regards to his support with your weight loss, but perhaps if he played an active role in getting you more active ... it may help? Just a thought.
07-14-2006, 02:10 AM
My DH is not active and healthy but not as motivated to loose weight as I am. I cook for both of us at home. If he really wants fast food, he will wait until work and go to lunch to get it. We do have schedules fast food days twice a month and I try to pick healthier stuff off the menu there. We really are not doing too badly. I leave in the evening to go workout while he watches the kids and I don't have to worry about them. In reality it is really not too hard. See if maybe he can eat healthy around you. If he will eat what you fix and if he needs the fast food and craves it, just to wait until he goes to work or whatever. Just to not involve you in it. That has worked really well for us.