Weight Loss Support - I failed




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AquaChick
07-11-2006, 09:48 AM
I'm back ladies. (and probably some gentlemen)

I used to come here all the time. I was very successful for a while at losing the weight, I lost 30 pounds or better. I am pained and ashamed to admit that it is all back. :( I don't really know what to say,except I am disappointed- hurt- embarrased- and roll in whatever else it feels like. I know some of you out there have been in my shoes, so you know what it's like.

I guess I just wanted to admit that I have to start over. I am still mad at myself, but I want very badly to be free from this addiction I have to food. I thought I had it licked, and I don't know why I fell. All I know is one day I stopped watching what I was doing and I never looked back. I finally hit the wall when my weight climbed right back to where it was...


Angel33
07-11-2006, 09:57 AM
Welcome back Aqua,

I do remember seeing you around here. You and I joined right around the same time.
I'm sorry to see that you're having such a tough time. Please don't feel like you failed. In my eyes you have courage. You might have hit an obstacle in the road but that's okay. You have picked yourself back up and are ready to try again. We're here for you and all know how difficult this journey can be.
Lots of :hug: for you as you get back in the swing of things.

Best of luck to you. Again, glad you're back!

AquaChick
07-11-2006, 10:02 AM
Hi Angel33. It's nice to see you again. :hug:

Thank you for welcoming me back with open arms. :)


Sunnigummi
07-11-2006, 10:33 AM
Aqua, the minute I read your post title, I thought "No she hasn't" and I didn't even read the post! After reading your post, I still thought "No, she hasn't!" because you're back here again. Why be embarassed - none of us here are perfect! We've all fallen off the wagon and just climbed back on again - just like *YOU*. We're here for you and you CAN do it this time, just like you did the last! Personally, I've been on a roller coaster with my weight since college, so about 5 yrs now. Losing weight is a struggle, fighting food addictions is a struggle, but if you are determined to do something about it, you will.

Good luck!

Hpnotq
07-11-2006, 10:46 AM
You didn't fail aqua...you just hit a bump in the road. You've already picked yourself back up and brought yourself back here. You're good to go...just hop back on.

ellis
07-11-2006, 11:13 AM
Aqua, welcome back. :hug: No, you're definitely not a failure... you're just human like the rest of us, hon.
I was just sitting here thinking, "Look at me. I'm a moderator, and I've gained back about 40 pounds over the last couple of years and I can't get it back off!" :mad:
You're not alone, Aqua. Hang in there... we're ALL going to get this weight off! :grouphug:

Chatterbox1982
07-11-2006, 11:15 AM
I dont know you since im fairly new but i dont see you as a failure life keeps us busy and we cant spend our life stairing at what we eat or our waist lines. Done be embarrast*sp* either you have shown me that this is the place i should be cause you have come BACK here cause you know this place helps and these people will help you and open there arms to you and not judge you. this place is awsome and so are the people here. You will do awsome getting to where you gotta go. you should NOT look at it as a failure but as you were living life.. hehe and no matter what your size you are a beautiful woman :) :carrot: have a carrot for getting back on the wagon.


misty

penpal
07-11-2006, 11:30 AM
Many of us have been where you are now - so don't feel like a failure. The important thing is to never give up. Welcome back to the 3FC family - I hope the support and advice you'll find here will help you as much as it has helped me. :hug:

AquaChick
07-11-2006, 11:39 AM
Wow!

Thank you all so much. I feel so much better now that I have come back, and admitted to all of you how I feel and what has gone on.

Up until after I read what you all had to say right here, I have to admit I was feeling very bitter- at myself. It was hard to come back and say that I gained my weight back after being so gung - ho a few months back. Even looking at the board was hard, I really felt so much shame in myself. I am better now though, I really needed to hear you all say that- thank you again so much!

Lenrod
07-11-2006, 11:55 AM
Don't worry, Aqua. I just started here, but I have yo-yoed with my weight for years. The simple act of making a decision to change makes you a winner in my book.

finn
07-11-2006, 12:01 PM
AquaChick - you don't fail if you fall down, you only fail if you stay down.

Give yourself a good kick in the @$$ and re-commit to yourself that you can and will do it.

artmaker
07-11-2006, 12:19 PM
Aqua chick...three cheers...you are here....and that's the first step. Don't use negatives...use positives. Forget what was, focus on what is...one step at a time. Use affirmations. "I am starting a journey towards wellness and self-care..."....whatever works!

Susan

sotypical
07-11-2006, 12:22 PM
If you lost 30 pounds once, you can do it again :) Good luck!

AquaChick
07-11-2006, 01:24 PM
Excellent points and advice!

You are all correct, it's best to be glad I made the decision to try again and to be optimistic about getting rid of weight again.

It's amazing how a little attitude adjustment can change our state of mind- I hope it will also work on my state of being.

You gals are so wise. :) I couldn't be happier to be back.

Heather
07-11-2006, 01:38 PM
I had the exact same reaction as sunnigummi when I read your title and agree with the others -- you have not FAILED!

Goodness, I have definitely been there --many times!

When stuff like this happens to me, I like to ask myself why. So, I'll you questions designed to address the same thing:
- Why do you think you got complacent?
- Were you following a plan you think you can do for life?
- What can you do differenlty this time, to make yourself more successful??

You learned a lot about yourself, right? What works for you? What doesn't? Take some time to think about what you are going to try to make it stick this time around.

WELCOME BACK!!!!!

AquaChick
07-11-2006, 01:43 PM
Thanks wyllenn. :)

You're right, it would be a good thing to sit down and reflect on what I did and how can I make progress from what I learned. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if there were a pattern involved in this.

lilybelle
07-11-2006, 01:52 PM
Welcome back and know that you aren't a failure. I lost 90 lbs. before and put 87 of it back on by going back to my old habits. It took me years to jump back in and take it off again. We all need to be able to go easier on ourselves and not feel like a failure if this happens. Heck, I just reached goal and I am very afraid that I could do the same thing again. I am glad to have you back and know that this has happened to many of us. These boards are so wonderful and I know you will find the help that you need.

AquaChick
07-11-2006, 03:44 PM
:cofdate:

This place is an awesome gathering spot. I wish I had come back sooner.

Beach Patrol
07-11-2006, 04:04 PM
Lawd have mercy, Aqua!

I know what you're feeilng. I have lost and gained 20-35 pounds in my adult life - AT LEAST FIVE TIMES. :shrug: :o

I have lost the weight doing different things - once on a hi-protein/low carb diet, once by just exercising and eating more fruits & veggies, once by doing a metabolic diet (kinda like South Beach) etc, etc.

Each time I gained the weight back, I normally put on more than I took off. My highest weight was 178. That was in January 2001. My lowest was 126. That was in May 1993.

This last time has been upsetting to me because I was doing so well... making healthy food choices, allowing myself treats, exercising, all good & fine. I was 138 when I reinjured my shoulder last September. Not being able to exercise was detrimental to my weight loss efforts. I started eating "crap" again, and eating too much of even the healthy foods. So, no surprise that I gained 25 pounds in 4 months.

My 'current' problem is that I can't seem to get back on track. I'll eat healthy & good for a few days, then blow it. I'll exercise a couple days one week & three days the next week, then nothing for a week. What really angers me is that I know I can do this, but for some reason, this time, I'm just not very motivated. I want to be, but I'm not. I can't figure out exactly why. I think it may be more than one thing, including some meds I am taking right now. BUT STILL...

So you see... YES, I feel your pain. Just know that we all relate & are all here for each other! :hug:

AquaChick
07-12-2006, 03:26 PM
Lawd have mercy, Aqua!

I know what you're feeilng. I have lost and gained 20-35 pounds in my adult life - AT LEAST FIVE TIMES. :shrug: :o

I have lost the weight doing different things - once on a hi-protein/low carb diet, once by just exercising and eating more fruits & veggies, once by doing a metabolic diet (kinda like South Beach) etc, etc.

Each time I gained the weight back, I normally put on more than I took off. My highest weight was 178. That was in January 2001. My lowest was 126. That was in May 1993.

This last time has been upsetting to me because I was doing so well... making healthy food choices, allowing myself treats, exercising, all good & fine. I was 138 when I reinjured my shoulder last September. Not being able to exercise was detrimental to my weight loss efforts. I started eating "crap" again, and eating too much of even the healthy foods. So, no surprise that I gained 25 pounds in 4 months.

My 'current' problem is that I can't seem to get back on track. I'll eat healthy & good for a few days, then blow it. I'll exercise a couple days one week & three days the next week, then nothing for a week. What really angers me is that I know I can do this, but for some reason, this time, I'm just not very motivated. I want to be, but I'm not. I can't figure out exactly why. I think it may be more than one thing, including some meds I am taking right now. BUT STILL...

So you see... YES, I feel your pain. Just know that we all relate & are all here for each other! :hug:


Thank you for sharing your personal experience with me. I'm sorry that you are struggling like me, but I feel better knowing I'm not alone. :)

magdie
07-12-2006, 04:19 PM
Aqua, you have not failed! I completely agree with Sunni and Wyllenn - you have gained a lot of knowledge about yourself through your slip and you are coming back stronger and with more tools to face your problem. You are here and that's what counts. There is no point in crying over what was in the past. Concentrate on today! And today you are working on yourself and getting healthier. Congratulations!

Good Luck! :hug:

sarahyu
07-12-2006, 04:33 PM
See if you can find the book "The Thin Commandments Diet The 10 No-Fail Strategies For Permanent Weight Loss." By Stephen Gullo, Ph.D.
We talked about it on the SBD forum awhile back. I found it quite helpful in figuring out my self-destructive habits and why I do what I do.

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=61359

You haven't failed, you have learned what doesn't work.

Good luck and a big hug your way. Most of us have done that many times in our weight loss adventure.

Sarah

Heather
07-12-2006, 04:51 PM
You haven't failed, you have learned what doesn't work.


Perfect way to reframe the issue!! And perfectly said!

mudbugs
07-12-2006, 05:28 PM
The fact that you had the b@lls to come back & post your ups & downs makes you look pretty admirable in my eyes. You've got a grip on things again now and were not afraid to confess that you had a little "slip"... I really admire that you did that.

Sometimes I wonder...ok, I have lost about 25 lbs....what if I slip up and gain it back in 6 months? Will I still have the guts to come back on here and post anything? I don't know if I would. (I'm such a chicken about things like that.)

I went to weight watchers about 25 years ago, after my 2nd kid...and I lost 69 lbs. And I was within about 6 lbs. of my goal weight...(which was some ridiculously unhumanly possible low number-- like 126? -- in my right thigh now, maybe) and then one week I went & got weighed and I had gained 2 lbs. I was so upset with myself that I never went back. I have regretted that for 25 yrs.

So, yep...you are like some kinda HERO in my eyes!!~!

I liked that remark, too..."you have learned what didn't work". I venture to say that ALL of us here have had our ups and downs. The fact that you came back to post here makes you a winner.

Abbeycat36
07-12-2006, 07:49 PM
Aqua:

I think we have ALL done that.. well, most of us.

I worked my butt off for a long time to lose 60 pounds and gained it all back and more. Started doing that " ahh I don't NEED to do that today" stuff.

slips happen little by little until they become bad habits once more. Will I ever learn! haha

So, it sucks that you gained back your 30 but you have to look on the bright side.. start now and that number won't be more than 30. You did it once, so it can be done again! Once you get to where you were before, make sure you stick with us and we'll all get thru this!!

This forum is a huge motivator for me!!

:hug:

Sassy_Chick
07-12-2006, 08:28 PM
I'm not going to say much because all these ladies have pretty much said it all. ;) So I'm just going to say, you can do it! :cheer: and we were here for you every step of the way! :grouphug:

:dust:

AquaChick
07-13-2006, 11:27 AM
You all are really inspiring and motivating for me. :) Thank you for being here.

It made me feel really good you welcomed me back and let me know it was okay-- and healthy-- to do it.

YOU ROCK!!!!!! :grouphug:

*get's back in saddle, cracks whip*