Weight Loss Support - Attention from men




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beforeim35
07-09-2006, 10:03 AM
One of the things that came up a few times on our wish lists was attention from men. Even from those of us who are married. I find that I really need to get that attention from men other than my husband. I work with mostly men and although they are mostly older and not attractive, I want them to be checking me out!!! I have had conversations with a few of them about who they think is attractive at work and while there aren't a whole lot of woman to choose from, I never really felt I was on their lists. I wanna be the "hot girl".

Am I alone in this?


Cassie501107
07-09-2006, 11:11 AM
Nope, you're not alone. I'm totally with you.;)

lilybelle
07-09-2006, 12:38 PM
I get a lot of attention from older men, now. I am married, but the attention is still nice. DH isn't jealous, he just gets a kick out of it. All his male co-workers tell him I look "hot" and he just laughs and says he loves it. Men and women alike , now look me in the face. I'm no longer ignored. I had a teenage boy say to me last night at the store "what up B, you sure are looking fine". I ignored him, this is not the type of attention I want.


mom2cole
07-09-2006, 04:47 PM
Nope you are not alone, but I am getting closer to getting more attention from guys that are not over the age of 70!! A co-worker was telling me the other day how he needed someone to massage his back every night before bed because he has been having back problems. The way he was talking I think he might have been flirting, but I cut that off quick since I am happily married!!!

Tori
07-09-2006, 05:17 PM
I have only lost like 12 pounds but my hubby says that it has made a huge diffrence. and i thhink hes right. i see guys checking me out more now. and he loves it. he likes having a hot wife. lol. i like to get compliments from other men, i love my hubby, but i never know if what he is saying is to be nice or if he really means it. so the compliments from others gives me confidence.

lillybelle- i had to laugh at that teenager. LOL. I had some guy come up to me and say "do you know Jessica?" ( i am dont know anyone, i just moved here btw) so i say "no" and he keeps swearing that he saw me at some party at "jessicas" i keep saying, uh...no. and i walk away. then he goes "oh, its like that?" and im all "im married" and i walk away. so that jessica thing was a total line. lol. more creative than some ive heard. lol.

almostheaven
07-09-2006, 05:26 PM
i like to get compliments from other men, i love my hubby, but i never know if what he is saying is to be nice or if he really means it. so the compliments from others gives me confidence.
I think that's part of why so many enjoy it. Heck, I'm happily married to, but inwardly, I really really enjoy hearing a whistle. Haven't heard one since practically high school. :D It just reinforces that I'm doing something right. I didn't do it FOR those whistles, or those compliments. But the whistles and compliments are reinforcement that I DID do it. ;)

Tori
07-09-2006, 05:42 PM
thats right! i agree with you. it does motivate me though. its nice to be the one being looked at. i have had 2 kids, so it really makes me feel good. lol

amberzade
07-09-2006, 07:28 PM
Umm... I don't know. I'd have to think about it. I would like to not be thought of as the old fat white lady. But that might just be my imagination anyway.

Sunnigummi
07-10-2006, 08:14 AM
Oh **** yes! I like being a friend to men but I'd really like to be thought of as something more. I think that with the weight loss I'll become more confident and that will somehow make me look different and hopefully more attractive.

I have to say that even though I am NOT doing this for the male attention, I WILL be bummed if I don't get any attention AFTER losing all the weight... :p

OneKim
07-10-2006, 08:58 AM
Yup, we all need that attention. It's women's nature...lol. My hubby made me feel great the other day when he told me that I walked by him out in public the other day and he didn't realize it was me and was checking me out, then he saw my face and realized it was me...hehe.

I'm new at my job, so none of the guys have had a chance to see me at my heaviest, but I notice them looking sometimes. With my luck though, they're the types to prefer thicker women and they're just enjoying that...lol.


Lily, a guy I work with called me 'mommy' or 'mami' (he's hispanic...my best friend is Puerto Rican and says it was a compliment...lol) the other night and I wasn't sure how to react. I just smiled and kept going pretty much..lol...not sure if that's the kind of attention I want either. Alot of chatter around me in Spanish that I can't understand and grinning in my direction...I'm not sure how I feel about this...lol.

Kim

sli
07-10-2006, 11:00 AM
i love my hubby, but i never know if what he is saying is to be nice or if he really means it. so the compliments from others gives me confidence.

I understand what you are saying 100%. I think almost the same thing about my DH. I feel that of course he means what he says but he loves me.
When guys that I don't know all that well flirt makes my confidence soar!
My DH doesn't seem to mind it at all, he says he makes him feel good that what they want he has.

lilybelle
07-10-2006, 11:29 AM
once when my DH and I stopped at a store , I stayed in the car and he went inside. A man of about 60 yrs. old walked over to the car and said "My wife there thinks your husband has the nicest Butt she's ever see". When I told my DH this, he just laughed. Now that's some good attention. ( Can't say I haven't noticed his Butt, I think I knew how great it was before I knew his eye color).lol

Nicklewise
07-10-2006, 12:43 PM
Since losing the weight that I have I totally love it when a guy complements me, I might not be intrested but they have definately made my day!

cemetarysiren25
07-10-2006, 12:54 PM
I absolutely LOVE the attention and I would be lying if I said that I didn't! I am very happily married, but who doesn't want to be treated like a sexy woman?! I get compliments all the time, I have doors held for me, etc. I'll even go to pay for my coffee in Wawa in the morning, only to get to the cashier and find out that it's been paid for! Guys try to pick me up at bars now and it's so liberating to say, "Sorry, I'm married". I do have to say that I love teasing guys now because I know I'm hot, I know they want me, but there's not a damn thing they can do about it. It makes me feel powerful in a way. It's amazing how differently I'm treated now!

blues4miles
07-10-2006, 01:24 PM
I must be one of the few who does not like the attention. I am engaged and I guess I feel like I get all I need from my fiance. At work it is the worst, I wish guys could see past my gender and my appearance and judge me based on my intelligence or work ethic instead. In public it can be either annoying, or just okay. I don't mind getting a few looks when I am *with* my fiance, and I hope he likes it then too, but on my own it just makes me feel objectionized. I am losing the weight to feel good about myself and I understand there are consequences to that I just try to curb it as best as I can.

MariaOfColumbia
07-10-2006, 02:49 PM
The last time I lost some weight, I eventually got a compliment from one of my bosses friends, and within a week I'd quit the diet and started gaining again. Soon I was heavier than ever.

I finally figured out what was going on (after 2 decades spent being obese) and have steeled myself this time. If someone compliments me, I WONT let it stop me. I don't like that sort of attention at all, if it's not from my husband-- but I'm not going to hurt myself again for other people's shallowness.

I was hiding behind the weight, before. Now I'm starting to get exposed, but I think I can handle it now. I'll hate it if/when I get comments or *looks* but I'm not going to let it stop me. This weight loss is for ME, not them.

almostheaven
07-10-2006, 04:01 PM
I have doors held for me, etc.
Oooh yeah, I forgot about that one. I have from time-to-time noticed that doors do seem to get held, whereas they didn't before. And this before I had my son or was pregnant. When you're pregnant or sporting a baby in a stroller, they get held even more. :D But there was a marked increase in the old door holding after I'd lost weight.

Tori
07-10-2006, 08:20 PM
I have noticed the door holding thing too! I used to only get them held open when i had the baby in the stroller, now they get held even without the stroller. but i think it helps that now that i have more confidence, i have started doing my hair and makeup more like i did before i had kids and got fat. lol

almostheaven
07-10-2006, 10:01 PM
I have noticed the door holding thing too! I used to only get them held open when i had the baby in the stroller, now they get held even without the stroller. but i think it helps that now that i have more confidence, i have started doing my hair and makeup more like i did before i had kids and got fat. lol
BINGO! Another way we are treated differently. We treat OURSELVES differently. When we're overweight, we often opt for baggy clothing, unflattering hairstyles, too much or too little makeup. For me, I used to wear more makeup than I do now. Most of the time now, I don't even bother with makeup. I'm not trying to hide a double chin anymore, or trying to create shadows to make my cheeks look like cheeks instead of blobs of fat. I'm no longer trying to draw attention to my eyes with a lot of shadow and mascara in the hopes that it will draw attention away from the rest of me. Not that it mattered much when I had so many problems looking people in the eye. I still work on the eye contact thing. But the last time I wore mascara was when I was pregnant and going out somewhere.