Weight Loss Support - Ever get embarrassed by compliments?




beforeim35
07-09-2006, 09:57 AM
Yesterday I wore my new size 14 jeans to work along with a shirt way more fitted that normal. As soon as I walked in a girl I work with (who is only 19, don't know why that matters, but it does) says very loudly "Girl, you look so skinny!" I immediately tried to shush her, not because I don't like to hear it but at that volume it was very embarrassing. She said, "Why do I have to shush? You loook good you should be walking around (she starts prancing)saying look at me!" She then says to someone I can't see, "Doesn't she look great?" Turns out it was my boss. Several other people come around the corner during this and comment on how red I have turned.

On a related issue, I now know how important it is to stop wearing those old baggy clothes once you grow out of them. When I originally lost the 20 lbs, no one noticed and that bummed me out. Now months later with only about 4 lbs more gone people ave finally started to notice and it has to be the clothes. I have been wearing jeans two sizes too big and shirts that now float on me.

Between her comments and the way I felt in these clothes that fit I had a great night at work. I urge you all to go buy at least one outfit that makes you feel good. All I can thnk of now is getting to the next size.


lilybelle
07-09-2006, 12:44 PM
I refuse to wear anything stretchy or baggy. I wore that stuff for too long. As for the compliments, I don't like it when someone is loud with them or say anything suggestive. A simple "you look nice" will do.

Tealeaf
07-09-2006, 07:06 PM
Me, I don't mind getting compliments at all. On the other hand, when she saw that she was embarrousing you, she should clearly have cooled it. I do think that you're right that her age has something to do with it. She just might not get it that even though it is a good thing, you might not want it broadcast like she did. Any time someone makes someone uncomfortable in a social setting like that, then that someone is being rude.

As for the clothing thing, well, I try to be moderate and sensible in that. I don't buy a whole new wardrobe every time I lose five pounds, but I don't like to wear clothes that just floats on me, either. I lost 30 pounds and has to buy new clothes, my pants were starting to slip off of me. I did so again when I lost another 30 pounds. Now with 10 pounds gone again, I notice that things are starting to loosen up. I might have to buy more at the 20 pound loss this time. I think that as you get smaller, the less give the sizes have and you have to buy more often.

One thing I suggest you do is buy something you know you can't fit into. I bought a (men's) medium denim jacket on sale that looks great, but no way I can button it over my tummy bulge. But it does give me something to try on once and a while to see how it's fitting now. I also regularily buy things that are a just a size or too small, a 2X when I was wearing 3X, and now L when I am in 1X. It's nice to be swimming in your clothes, get annoyed with that, then pull out somethat was too small and find that fits now!


amberzade
07-09-2006, 07:19 PM
In the past I've had such a hard time when people start to notice I lose weight that I start to mess it all up. I just don't like being noticed.

This time, although I've lost about the same amount, no one has said anything to me. It might have something to do with working at a place where there are more men and the people are younger. There are less 'mother' type people.

Congratulations on what you've accomplished.

Flying Betty
07-09-2006, 08:16 PM
I find it really awkward when someone compliments me on my weight loos. It's hard to think of an appropriate response and I consider my efforts to be fairly personal so I don't like to talk about it with strangers.

But it is so worth it, if only for your own self confidence, to get some clothes that fit. It's hard to see a difference when your clothes are hanging off your waist, still being the same size around as you used to be. Wearing a size smaller gives you the spring in your step that comes from knowing you're that size smaller.

Quirky1
07-09-2006, 08:31 PM
I don't like compliments from anyone other than my husband or very close friends that I feel very safe with. My dh's friend from work saw me the other day and he made the comment that I was melting away to nothing. I obviously am not and I didn't know what to say. I ended up giggling like a silly school girl. Bleh. I hate it when I do that...

phantastica
07-11-2006, 05:24 PM
Before I began losing weight, my role model (a classy, bright and beautiful woman) complimented me on a necklace. I replied with a "Oh, clearance at Mervyn's!" She said very graciously, "A simple 'thank you' is perfectly appropriate." It was definitely a coaching moment for me. After that, I listened to people reply to compliments, and found a way to say a gracious "thank you". I even practiced it in front of a mirror alone. Now that I am getting compliments and questions about my weight, I find less embarrassment with the compliments.

I totally agree about getting smaller clothes! I'm looking at purchasing a "lot" of clothing on ebay or craigslist in my next size down.

mudbugs
07-11-2006, 06:23 PM
I agree with you Lilybelle...exactly! I do not mind at all if someone says, "Oh you look nice today", but if they say, "Have you lost weight?", I turn 50 shades of red and have actually DENIED that I have lost any.

Fluffy Goddess
07-11-2006, 09:14 PM
In the past I've had such a hard time when people start to notice I lose weight that I start to mess it all up. I just don't like being noticed.

i do this all the time. I work in a shop, so i wear men's jeans a couple sizes too big and a baggy t to work everyday. I had to go in and pick up my check on a day off and was wearing shorts that actualy fit me, a nice blouse and sun glasses and my boss had to ask who i was! She complimented on how good i was looking and wanted to know how much i've lost. This week i've managed to gain 3 lbs :(

Lyria
07-11-2006, 09:56 PM
Ugh yes - I used to and still do feel embarrassed when people compliment me on how I look. I feel like I am being egotistical if I thank them or that by thanking them I am acknowledging I look good and therefore must be "up myself".

Last weekend was a case in point - I have been maintaining for a couple of years now but I still can't handle compliments and myself and some girlfriends went out for a night on the town. Just about every person we ran across declared me to be a "Hot Chick" (male AND female) and most of the time all I wanted to do was crawl under a rock and hide lol (although I keep this reaction internal - to everyone else I just say thanks and smile)

Although I am getting better at just saying thanks and then progressing the conversation on - I think in my case it is a combination of a massively increased confidence in myself (despite still squirming at a compliment :P) as well as the change in shape. *shrugs* But yet...I do know how you feel lol.

Liv

blues4miles
07-11-2006, 11:54 PM
I agree with you Lilybelle...exactly! I do not mind at all if someone says, "Oh you look nice today", but if they say, "Have you lost weight?", I turn 50 shades of red and have actually DENIED that I have lost any.

:lol: I do the same thing! I have denied my weightloss several times, or attributed it to wearing "large" clothes :D

KimChi6
07-12-2006, 02:53 PM
I do, too...although most of the time I am thinking to myself "I look good...yeah right" so I generally say "thank you" and quickly change the subject. I also feel the need to point out my faults before anyone else can. I have a good friend who used to be my boss. I would point something out about myself like "my pants are a little too tight..it's making me crazy!" Just in case she had noticed it and thought to herself "does she know those pants show every bulge and roll she has??" But she has told me, "I didn't even notice till you pointed it out!" I need to learn how to graciously accept a compliment and take it at face value...not to analyze it!