100 lb. Club - Very Bad Week
07-08-2006, 10:42 AM
I'm so mad at myself right now. I've been a big pig since the 4th, and I'm very disappointed in myself I could cry. I've done so well with losing 50 lbs and staying on track and cheating only here and there and I was fine. What happened?! PMS week, and it has been a rough one with some depression on top of it. I've been on edge big time, and I just got so discouraged all of a sudden, and I caved big time. I went out by myself to try on some clothes, and I set my expectations too high, and well when I didn't meet it ... I was disappointed. I'm in a 16 now ... probably not too far off from a 14, but not there yet. I limit my clothes shopping right now. Anyway, so I didn't get pants, so I figured I'd try on some shirts since I hardly have any that aren't really baggy,andI don't drop shirt sizes as often as I do pants it seems. It seems most women's shirts are fitted and they cling to all the wrong places and I couldn't find anything that looked right on me. They all made me look extremely fat by hugging all the rolls. Which made me discouraged because even after 50 lbs it hardly seems noticeable in the stomach area. I know my shirts are smaller and I'm making progress, but I couldn't help but feel like I'm going to be cursed with that flabby belly forever ... ugh! I looked awful. So basically that set me off, and I've fallen pretty hard. I can only pray that somehow I can at least maintain for the next weigh in. Right now I just want to crawl into bed and hide under the covers. Sigh ... thanks for letting me vent. This is gonna be tough to snap outta this mood. Good thing for me that I don't have a lot of junk or anything here, but my calorie intake has probably been crazy. I have no idea.
07-08-2006, 10:58 AM
Don't be so hard on yourself.....you have lost 50lbs that is so awsome. Sometimes we stumble, but thats ok. We just get back up and start again. 50bls you should be so proud of yourself. I can't wait to be able to post that. Smiles......Chris
07-08-2006, 11:04 AM
I think the most important thing is that if you fall off the wagon, get back on it. So you had a couple of bad days, they will get better. You have come so far in such a little amount of time, yeah most of us still look fat after having lost the weight we have. And yeah most of us still have a long way to go. The important thing is that we are doing it. We are becoming healthier and looking better. We are not going to be looking great overnight. I had one of these breakdowns a few weeks ago, but the most important thing to remember is that we are doing it, we are feeling better, our health is getting better and that is the most important thing. I don't have to get up in the middle of the night to take pepcid anymore because the food I am eating does not upset my stomach and give me acid reflux to try and sleep through, I don't get winded walking up stars, I am enjoying my kids more, I am sleeping better. Think in those terms about what you now have that you didn't used to have. You can do this. You can get back on the wagon and get through this. You are doing so well you just have farther to go. Keep the goal in front of you and remember the successes so far. :hug: :hug:
07-08-2006, 12:26 PM
None of us are perfect and we all slip up from time to time. Just decide that today you're going to do the right things. And then do them. You are so much healthier than 50 pounds ago. The whole clothes shopping experience can be so traumatic though, I agree. Hope you're feeling better soon and back in control. Drink lots of water - I know when I feel that I'm going to see a gain after falling down for a couple days, chugging water does help me to at least maintain.
07-08-2006, 01:03 PM
Slips happen and you are lucky in the respect that you have recognized it and know there is a need to put on the brakes. Many of us here have lost and relost the same weight because of slip ups. Take a few moments to yourself and get some "me" time. Think about how well you are doing and pump yourself up!! You can get over this hump and think about this....in a few months the clothes you are trying now that cling ...will hang!!! Flabby is the lot we draw in life when we lose weight but health wise in the long run it is better to be a little flabby than to carry a lot of extra weight.
50 lbs gone is an awesome achievement! I have been looking at the same 15 since January.
07-08-2006, 01:10 PM
Obviously, you are shopping in the wrong store! I'm a lot closer to where you were, so you've gone down from like a 24/22 to a 16 -- that's awesome, and don't you ever forget it.
I've had one of those weeks as well - a total meltdown - but didn't really screw up the food. Sooo..
I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and started all over again.
If self-pity and diving into food worked, I would already have lost all my weight.
07-08-2006, 01:19 PM
If self-pity and diving into food worked, I would already have lost all my weight.
Wow...that is so true....
karistiana - have you got some of your clothes that fit at your high weight? Go try them on. It will help you see how far you have come. You are not alone - we've all been where you are. :hug: Even if you don't wanna get back on the wagon - just say you will do it just for a day...and then another...one day at a time...you'll see yourself succeeding and be on your way again. The alternative is to fit in those old clothes again...I don't think any of us wants to go back to our highest weight.
07-08-2006, 02:22 PM
Thanks everyone. I was trying to keep it all to myself, but I found by doing that it kinda made it worse. I feel like crap right now eating all that I did last night and this morning ... ugh. I do want to get back on track. I hadn't done quite so bad before, but the serious bout of PMS, depression, and discouragement kinda all hit me at once, and it's like the old me who turned to food for comfort just kinda took over. I'm just glad I don't have half the stuff I would have had in the house several months ago or else I would have binged on cookies, ice cream, potato chips, and frozen pizzas. The worst thing I think I had today was the box of MorningStar Farms broccoli cheddar things ... bad part really was I fried them, and I think that's why I feel extra yucky right now. I just can't handle fried, greasy food anymore. Never really agreed with me before, but it's even worse now.
So I think what I'm going to do is cleanse the rest of the day to try to flush this nastiness out because I literally feel awful. Then I'll go from there as far as what to do next. The thought of food right now makes me feel sick. I ate entirely too much. It got to the point where I just ate whatever was edible. How sad was that? So cleansing and lots of water is on the agenda for the rest of the day. Maybe it's not too late to turn this around. I really need to work on asking for help BEFORE I go on a binging spree. I have this dumb tendency to want to give support and not ask for it myself.
Anyway, thanks again everyone. I'm going to get back on track. My goal is to at least maintain this week, and get to losing again next week.
07-08-2006, 03:09 PM
Man, I got severely depressed the first time I tried to go shopping after having lost nearly 70 pounds. I still couldn't shop anywhere other than "plus" stores and just found that sad. I had been excited about the weight loss, but that really deflated me.
You have not ruined everything you've done so far!! Sounds like you have a plan to move past this. And you will. And the next time you go to the store, things will fit a little better and so on...
But I know what you mean -- I think sometimes we think we're smaller than we are.
07-08-2006, 05:49 PM
I know what you mean.....I stumbled last evening too. We went to one of our favorite restaurants up north and I not only ate the all you can eat 'fried' fish fry....but had cheese curds, salad bar, and a million drinks. Boy do I feel like a big bag of poo today...ugggghhhh. I don't know what comes over me sometimes....I was literally eating everything in sight lastnight. I know the feeling of guilt afterwards...it's a horrible feeling.
Like everyone has said though....it's not the end of the world...and you realized that you flubbed up...and you are ready to move on...that is awesome!!! I realized that I flubbed up and it's back to business today. That's what seperates us from our old selves....everyone is going to mess up once and awhile.....as long as you get back on track and do the best you can do.....everything is fine. I think about my old self and a one night binge would have turned into a month binge...u know?
I am so proud of you....you have lost soooo much and have come so far...there's nothing that can stop you now!!!!
I know what you mean about the clothes thing too. Last time I went shopping...I picked all these cute little cami's,etc off the racks and tried them on. In my mind I thought...yeah...these should look pretty good on me...but then I get them on and they don't fit the way I pictured them to fit in my mind....it can be disappointing after working so hard. Just think though...what size did you start out in? Now you are a 16 and almost a 14...that's amazing!!!!!! Just remember...a 14 is "the average women's size" these days...... :)
Ok...enough babbling...I just wanted to let you know that I have all these feelings too...I think a lot of people do....just keep doing your best...that's all you can do.....and seriously....you are doing a wonderful job....50 pounds gone is a tremendous amount of weight...you should feel very proud of that!!!
07-08-2006, 08:16 PM
It certainly doesn't help that the way they're cutting clothes this season is designed to make pretty much everyone feel fat. They're all curve-hugging and leave little to the imagination, even shirts that cover all your skin (at least if the teenagers at work are anything to go by). It's understandable that you'd be depressed after a miserable shopping experience!
But everyone's right, you've got a plan to get back on track, and after 50 pounds lost, you *know* you can do it. Talking about it is the right thing to do, so I'm glad you did that here. Good luck tomorrow! I'm staring down an ugly bout of PMS myself, so I absolutely feel your pain tonight, and I've very glad that I don't have any junk food in the house (and that I'm too lazy to drive to the grocery store).
07-08-2006, 10:50 PM
I just wanted to give you some more encouragement. .recognizing a bad thing and knowing what to do about it is SO much better than it had to be a the beginning of your journey! Like they say, when you fall off the horse.. jump back on! :D
You are gonna do fantastic!
07-08-2006, 11:38 PM
Rhonda, You've been so encouraging to others here, I hope we can be encouraging to you. :hug: So you've fallen off the wagon, and maybe been run over by it a few times. You know you've got to get back on. We all do that occasionally, it's just a part of the whole experience. 50 lbs is wonderful! I hope you are proud of yourself for accomplishing that!
07-09-2006, 03:39 PM
Good thing for me that I don't have a lot of junk or anything here, but my calorie intake has probably been crazy.
I was thinking about you when I was at the grocery store this morning...I think the fact that you only had healthy stuff to binge on is a testament to the fact that you have come a lonnnnnggg way.
I just wanna say thanks for posting your venting - it gave me some "food for thought". That's why I love 3FC....:cool: We are all in this journey together. :grouphug: I hope you are feeling better today.
Misti in Seattle
07-09-2006, 08:44 PM
Hey, as others have said don't be too hard on yourself. There are so many discouraging moments in life and it is so easy to let our old binge habits pop back in. But you have lost 50 pounds!! Jump right back up here on the wagon... there is plenty of room!!! :hug:
07-10-2006, 10:30 AM
I'm sorry you've hit a rough patch and hope you're feeling better now. Regarding the "clingy" clothes - when you go shopping, do you bring someone with you to give you feedback? I ask because one of the biggest things I've learned since losing 50 lbs. is how to buy clothes that actually fit the way they're "supposed" to. All the clothes I have now are much more fitted than anything I would have worn in the past (and believe me, I dress pretty conservatively even now). It happened almost accidently when one day I wore a top to work that I thought was a bit tight and one of my big-hearted but less-than-subtle co-workers said "You're FINALLY wearing clothes that fit right!" as opposed to being too baggy. This really blew me away as I felt quite self-conscious in this new "tight" clothes. But it's happened over and over - when I wear things that are more "body conscious," I get compliments and am even told I've lost weight when I haven't! It took me a while to get used to and I still ask my husband all the time "Are you SURE this (top/pants/etc.) isn't too tight?" Just something to think about........
07-10-2006, 06:05 PM
I'm sorry that you've had such a rough time, like everyone else has said, I think we've all pretty much been there. But you have accomplished A LOT and like someone else said, you haven't undone everything you've already accomplished, you've just slipped a little and need to get back on track, and you started that by getting the support you needed and admitting to yourself how you were feeling. Clothes shopping is so frustrating to me, I feel like I've changed very little even though I've lost 27 pounds (which at my weight is not a great deal) but I LOVED Gina's suggestion of putting on your old clothes that fit you 50 pounds ago to show yourself just how much you've changed!! It is so easy for us to continue to see ourselves in the same light even though we KNOW we've lost weight. I hope you have a better day today and feel even better tomorrow!! Hang in there, you CAN do this!!