Mini-Goals - The nerve of some people




View Full Version : The nerve of some people


butterfly_dreams
07-05-2006, 04:06 PM
It's amazing the nerve of some people. I did a little shopping with my mom and someone she knows starting talking to her and she says "is that your daughter?... wow she's big." Now usually those kind of things would bother the crap out of me till next week, lol, but right at that moment when she said that I immediately shrugged it off and said "Not for long!" I NO longer let words pull me down when they used to cause me depression and self-pity. I know I am GOING SOMEWHERE!!! I'm going forward not backward!!! There is a great future for me and no person is taking that away from me. So they can say whatever the heck they want because I am strong and I know what lies ahead of me!


Angel33
07-05-2006, 04:26 PM
Okay butterfly, you have definitly been my inspiration today with all of your wonderful posts. Again great attitude. You are a much better woman than I, but then again I have spent at least the last 15 years or so worrying about what other people think of me. I am so worried that all people see is a fat girl and they never take the time to get to know me. Or like Sassy said, my sarcastic side wants to shoot back a nasty comment.
Just think how stupid your mom's friend will feel when you're not really big.

Best of luck to you and can't wait to hear about your sucesses as you go along. Your attitude is really infectious.

butterfly_dreams
07-05-2006, 04:47 PM
Angel33, I used to have the same problem worrying to much of what people said, it even caused me to hide from people in my home for YEARS!! but when starting this diet I visioned my future; I thought about how different and great it's going to be. Then I said to myself ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I REFUSE TO LET PEOPLE CONTROL MY LIFE ANYMORE! I had to change my attitude because it was destroying my life.

You are a wonderful and strong person. Don't let others control your feelings. Just ignore them. I know, better said than done. My mom used to tell me to ignore them but your ears can't stop what you're hearing. It takes practice to ignore what people say totally. Next time someone says something about you say something positive about yourself and keep thinking on that positive thought not the negative. Soon that hurt caused by that other person will disappear because you have learned to take control of your own feelings. :)


Michelle
07-05-2006, 05:29 PM
Butterfly . . . I think you have a wonderful outlook and such a positive attitude, and you certainly have given me a new outlook as of today!:carrot: I so agree, the nerve of some people! What in the heck are they even thinking, or rather not thinking, before they open up their BIG mouth!:mad: You just keep being strong and thinking positive, and one day you WILL show everyone! Have a great day!!!;) :hug:

Rumplesnat
07-05-2006, 05:32 PM
Good for you with the quick comeback! My favorite (although I've yet to have the nerve/opportunity to use it) is, "I may be fat but you're ugly. At least I can lose weight."

butterfly_dreams
07-05-2006, 05:34 PM
Thanks. I'm happy that I'm inspiring some of you. That's sort of what my goal is on this board. I want to inspire as much people as possible and help them stay strong.

butterfly_dreams
07-05-2006, 05:35 PM
Lol!! Good one Kelly.

chick_in_the_hat
07-05-2006, 05:57 PM
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I REFUSE TO LET PEOPLE CONTROL MY LIFE ANYMORE! I had to change my attitude because it was destroying my life.

AMEN sister!!! Thanks for the reminder! :dancer:

kaplods
07-05-2006, 05:59 PM
One of my best combacks, which works for almost any rudeness of this type is a shocked expression, then a smile and confront them maybe saying sweetly something like, "You surely didn't mean that the way it sounded, did you?"

I almost always make some kind of comment or reaction to rudeness. People are rude often out of ignorance, or because they don't expect to be confronted, especially pleasantly. It's funny that the more pleasant I am when I confront them, the more ashamed or embarassed they are. If they were just stupid, I'm happy to be pleasant, and if they were intentionally trying to piss me off, then being pissed is reinforcement. Being nice to them throws them off guard and makes them feel like a huge ***. Either way, big win for me.

Even when people stare in that "Geez, have you ever seen someone that fat" amazement, I usually raise an eyebrow, cock my head, and stare back. In what I consider my, "Geez, have you ever seen someone so stupid" gaze. I don't think I've ever seen anyone not, immediately look horrified and look away.

I feel sometimes like I have to remind certain people that I am human.

butterfly_dreams
07-05-2006, 06:25 PM
yeah exactly, it's like some people don't consider us humans and can just be rude as much as they want like we're animals or something.

soon2Bfab
07-05-2006, 07:19 PM
Butterfly.....my response to your mother's friend....."Wow, she's rude & ignorant!"
Karma always makes things "right."

butterfly_dreams
07-05-2006, 07:36 PM
yep. sweet karma. lol.

lilybelle
07-05-2006, 08:26 PM
I am so proud of your attitude. I don't know why people think it's OK to tell someone they are big, large, fat or whatever. I used to have this happen to me a lot. Heck, I'm not stupid, I knew I was fat. I would let it get to me emotionally and if it happened during the many, many times I was trying to lose weight it was sure fire way to cause me to give up. Now I see that these stupid people were just reinforcing me to think of myself as a big loser. I wish I had been stronger like you and maybe it wouldn't have taken me so long to finally get the extra weight off and feel better about myself. Keep going strong, you are going to show them all.

Misti in Seattle
07-05-2006, 09:17 PM
Good for you, Butterfly! I love to see such a positive attitude here on the boards! You ARE going to make it and thanks for being an encouragement to me and others.

Abbeycat36
07-05-2006, 09:26 PM
HI,

Good for you. People are idiots at times. Maybe one day that person will have a 'situation' that they would prefer nobody notice... and then they might remember the comment they made to you. Probably won't happen, but it would be nice hehe.

One of my favorites.. you know how people always do this.. "OH, but you have SUCH a pretty face.. you should lose some weight" or "... now if you were ONLY thin" or "... if you could only lose that weight".

My response to that one was one day.. to a co-worker after he'd said it "yeah, you know, that's really an insult. It tells me you are saying that I am UGLY because I'm fat, but if I was not fat, you would approve of me. You know, you'd be such a nice person if you weren't such an A**hole".
He got the message.

Abbeycat36
07-05-2006, 09:29 PM
Haha sorry for sounding so angry in my reply.. I read it over and thought hmm I sound so bitter!! I am, a little I guess :D

But, point is.. don't let anyone's words stop you. You keep right on truckin!!

Cheers!! and smiles to everyone :dancer:

sli
07-06-2006, 12:15 AM
You just proved that you are so much of a better person inside and out than your mothers friend!
You are a great person with the best attitude that I have ever seen!
I am so glad that you posted this! Thank you!

butterfly_dreams
07-06-2006, 01:41 AM
You're very welcome Sli. And thank you too!! heheh.

Misti in Seattle
07-06-2006, 02:34 AM
One of my best combacks, which works for almost any rudeness of this type is a shocked expression, then a smile and confront them maybe saying sweetly something like, "You surely didn't mean that the way it sounded, did you?"



Mine is similar! I laugh -- so I don't come across as rude as they are... and with a shocked "I can't believe you said that" expression, say "You're getting kind of personal, aren't you?"

It does make people think twice before they pop out with something like that again. Personally I don't want to be rude back so try to make it light-hearted.

beforeim35
07-06-2006, 10:38 AM
The other day at work a co-worker (male) said "You have done a lot to improve your appaearance since you worked here, the weight loss, the haircut and color. In three years you'll be on the cover of a magazine." My response: "Three years? How much work do I need?" Point is, guys just don't get it. His comment was supposed to a compliment, we woman just find a way to make those comments an insult. About ten years ago a male friend said something along the lines of how good I would look if I lost some weight. At the time it kinda hurt my feelings but it also appeared to shock me into losing about 45 pounds. Take it as a catalyst to speed your weight loss and don't let it get you depressed.

thistoo
07-06-2006, 02:27 PM
Butterfly, you are awesome. I think I would have cried. Your attitude truly is inspirational!

MadamePJ
07-06-2006, 02:48 PM
It's not what people call you it's what you answer to ... I actually smiled when I ready your reaction! :D You go Butterfly! ... That person was extremely out of line ... and you put them in their place ... the right way of course... keep your head up high ... Haters are on this Earth for a few reasons ... if anything ... for motivation ...

butterfly_dreams
07-06-2006, 02:57 PM
Exactly, because if people keep saying stuff after a while it tends to get to you and you know that you have to do something about it. And then end up proving that rude person wrong.

butterfly_dreams
07-06-2006, 03:00 PM
But you're not changing for them, you are changing for you. Like Madea says "People are going to talk about you all your life, he** they talk about me, but it's what you answer to, you remember that." lol. I love Madea. (Diary of a Mad Black Women, Madea's Family Reunion)

TamiL
07-06-2006, 03:05 PM
Wow what an intelligent response. I would of told her to F*&K off and mind her own business. Grown ups should know better. Unfortunately my 7 year old daughter likes to tell people she doesn't know what she sees. Its getting more than embarrassing to take her out anywhere. She considers her 13 year old sister (5'5" and 135 well placed pounds) fat.

supernurse_mommie
07-06-2006, 09:08 PM
Good for you with the quick comeback! My favorite (although I've yet to have the nerve/opportunity to use it) is, "I may be fat but you're ugly. At least I can lose weight."

LOL that is great.. ive actually USED that one.. and let me tell you sister... it felt GREAT! ;)

OneKim
07-06-2006, 09:16 PM
Butterfly, you've got the best advice/responses here! Keep that attitude that you have and you'll be feeling great about yourself no matter what others have to say. There's sooooo much we can do to change our outside, but it's alot harder to change the inside, which is really the most important part!

Kim

butterfly_dreams
07-07-2006, 01:24 AM
Exactly!! I honestly don't like to mouth back or take revenge on the other person, so I just say something polite but stern to let them know that it was rude of what they said.

carolshmarol
07-07-2006, 02:24 AM
It's amazing the nerve of some people. I did a little shopping with my mom and someone she knows starting talking to her and she says "is that your daughter?... wow she's big." Now usually those kind of things would bother the crap out of me till next week, lol, but right at that moment when she said that I immediately shrugged it off and said "Not for long!" I NO longer let words pull me down when they used to cause me depression and self-pity. I know I am GOING SOMEWHERE!!! I'm going forward not backward!!! There is a great future for me and no person is taking that away from me. So they can say whatever the heck they want because I am strong and I know what lies ahead of me!

Butterfly,

YOU ARE THE WOMAN!!!!!!

I know you won't let people affect you in a negative way again, but this person crossed the line, it was plain mean and I would have let that person know they acted like a slug. It doesn't have to mean you were hurt by that comment, rather the fact that they even said it.

Anyway, you keep on with what you're doing! You're awesome!!!!

:hug:

butterfly_dreams
07-07-2006, 02:38 AM
Well thank ya, Carol. :)

Kokomo
07-07-2006, 02:42 AM
I know I wouldn't of handled it as well. Wow I'm impressed you came out the winner in this and have taught me a valuable lesson

nursiegirl0076
07-07-2006, 02:55 AM
Butterfly! You rock! People will always be rude and say things they shouldn't because that's what being human is. But it is very nice to see that just a simple shrug and phrase can stop stupidity in its tracks! I have encountered many people like that (as I'm sure most people have). Someone actually put an article for gastric bypass surgery in my locker at work......TWICE! No one claimed it. It's actually kind of amusing....as if I didn't know I was a big girl. Sometimes you can't help but laugh, y'know?

butterfly_dreams
07-07-2006, 03:10 AM
yep. that's a good concept.... laugh.

Misti in Seattle
07-07-2006, 03:39 AM
Exactly!! I honestly don't like to mouth back or take revenge on the other person, so I just say something polite but stern to let them know that it was rude of what they said.

I agree with you... being rude back just puts yourself at their level. And politeness, especially with humor, goes much farther!!!

Misti in Seattle
07-07-2006, 03:40 AM
Someone actually put an article for gastric bypass surgery in my locker at work......TWICE! No one claimed it.

You're right... laughing it off is best. Some people's rudeness knows no bounds LOL

MelodyL
07-07-2006, 03:47 AM
Butterfly I'm so glad that you didn't let that person get you down or discourage you, they obviously have some issues of their own. I think you handled it very well, if someone said that about one of my children with my child sitting right there though I'm afraid I would definately tell them how rude they were and would not consider them my friend. Heck, who needs enemies if you've got friends that are as inconsiderate and rude to people as that!! You are a much better person than that person was!!

mechell81
07-08-2006, 04:35 PM
Good for you Butterfly! That is so inspiring...I am trying to become more positive and change my life. I usually have rude mean comments from family. But I have had some rude people just stare at me like I weigh 1000 pounds. I used to go home or get in the car and cry and then of course it just can make you more depressed. But now if I see someone gawking or rudely looking at me I smile really big and wave...and when I walk past them I ask them how they are doing today? They act sort of dumbfounded. And sometimes I ask do we know each other because they stare at me for 20 mintues! Thanks for posting that Butterfly....that was awesome :)

Jude62
07-08-2006, 04:46 PM
Good for you Butterfly! I have a daughter whose self asteem is low because of hurtful things others have said about her. I tell her they are the ones with a problem not her. Always keep a positive attutude.

Megan33
07-08-2006, 08:10 PM
Butterfly,
you handled it better than I would have...
If she said that to me.....*POW* right in the kisser!!

2CMEAGAIN
07-09-2006, 09:11 AM
Great attitude!You go girl!!!:carrot: :carrot: :carrot:

Misti in Seattle
07-09-2006, 09:33 AM
when starting this diet I visioned my future; I thought about how different and great it's going to be.

I do that too! When I get embarrassed about hot fat I am... especially stuff like being in the pool or out jogging and knowing my boobs are bouncing all over the place... or when I see people in all the cute summer clothes and I am still stuck wearing UGLY hideous stuff from the plus shops... I just think... "NEXT YEAR!" :) and keep going. NOT always easy sometimes!

joan fay
07-09-2006, 02:27 PM
Hi Butterfly --Some people can be very shallow.:dizzy: Good for you in moving on with your life and your goals. :cp: Don't let people play with your self esteem.
They have no idea what is going on inside you. Keep on keeping on.
One day at a time - that all of us have. You are an inspiration to me.
joan fay:cool:

Leenie
07-09-2006, 02:36 PM
And that evil woman's view of you doesn't mean everyone else views you like that (or thinks the way she does for lack of a better way of saying it). To bad a woman of her age doesn't have a brain filter.

You are incredible for not lashing back. Hats off to you young lady, you did a good job.

If you were my daughter or me, I would have had to say something back and it wouldn't have been pretty.

Not only are you beautiful on the outside, your beautiful and smart on the inside.

BRAVO !!!!