hi, trying to get back to ww
hi, i'm trying to get back on WW. I lost about 50 pounds when I was 10-13 but still was 15 pounds over goal, but i maintained. then when i was 14 i went crazy to lose those last few pounds, not to the point of anorexia or bulimia but i got soo frustrated with the slow weight loss and got crazy counting points ALL the time and never giving myself a break. Once I used water instead of milk in cereal to save points, and sometimes I would only use 15 points per day when i was allowed like 24.
so I'm really afraid to go back to that. I was wearing a one piece bathing suit with my boyfriend the other day at his karate studio and he told me to put clothes on over it and later said that I really didn't look good in the bathing suit. He said he loved me (and we've been together 16 mos) and he would like it if i lost a little weight and he said he wanted us to be able to talk freely about my weight instead of avoiding it all the time. of course i started to get defensive and eventually to cry but i knew he was right and he didn't say it in a coercive or angry way he was just being honest with me. of course i thought at first, what a jerk and was really mad at him, and it still hurts when i think about what he said, but know i've gotten the kick in the *** I need to get back on track. when i told him that he said it wasn't meant to be a kick in the ***, but now all i need to do is think back to that and about my wonderful boyfriend not liking my body and that's enough for me. i 'm about 15-20 lbs to lose now but i know the last few are ****. it was always relatively easy for me to maintain my weight until the stresses of high school but it's always been hard losing weight for me.
and also, i have to try very hard just to maintain being only 15 pds overweight. my whole family is morbidly obese and there's always great food.
I'm so tired of diet food and what really caused me to gain weight was a trip to bahamas where i ate regular food for the first time in years and it tastes sooo good!
anyway, i really like going on internet messeage boards for poetry and debate so i thought this might be the best way for me to get the support i need.
i don't want to start ww mtgs because i'll be away for most of the summer so it would be a waste to join now.
anyway nice to meet you all.
i was also thinking a good thing for me to do would be posting what i eat online because even if no one reads it i'll have something to account to besides my journal and lazy me may not feel like writing but typing might work.
|
