Weight Loss Support - Being the only fat chick in a circle of friends?

06-13-2006, 12:27 AM
Hi! I am back on the wagon, at least taking it one day at a time! :)

I think something may have "clicked"... I was in Florida last week to visit some friends, and they are all skinny and hotties! I realized I am tired of being the fat chick in a circle of skinny hotties friends! :(

Has this happened to you before?

I am going back to Florida in November and I hope to lose some weight by then! :) :)

I am doing good foodwise, detoxing myself of sugar. I am doing SBD and I had done that in the past and I had lost a good numbers of pounds but due to some events happening that I had fell off the wagon! Now I am back on it and I want to fit in my clothes that I had bought that i no longer fit and I miss those clothes!


I need to edit the weight tacker.. last I checked couple days was 206 lbs! :) :)

06-13-2006, 01:00 AM
Hi! I am back on the wagon, at least taking it one day at a time! :)

I think something may have "clicked"... I was in Florida last week to visit some friends, and they are all skinny and hotties! I realized I am tired of being the fat chick in a circle of skinny hotties friends! :(

Has this happened to you before?
Oh yes. Many times and for too long. Now, with the exception of one friend that's skin and bones, I'm the thinnest of them all. Sadly, I never feel like boasting. I remember thinking to myself, "Wow, it would be great to be thinner than the rest of them!"

Now that I am, I feel almost guilty for being the one the men are eyeballing while ignoring the others. Like last weekend at the bar my friends and I go to, my friend who is heavier than me was talking to some guy she liked and he was looking at me instead.

I felt bad about that :(

So it's kind of a double-edged sword. When I was heavier than everyone else, I felt bad about myself. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, I feel bad for them.

06-13-2006, 01:04 AM
All my friends are thinner than I am... I often wonder if they feel sorry for me :(.

06-13-2006, 01:07 AM
:) Yeah i wonder the same thing. I was at the Hulk roller coaster, and they have those two seat tests where you sit to see if you fit. I did.. but my hottie friends asked me why I needed to test them and that they knew I will fit into it! LOL I told them I was just testing to save myself humilation if I didn't test and ended up not fitting and having to leave the ride!

If you are ever in Florida, go to Orlando Universal Studios and ride the Hulk roller coaster! I loved it! :D

06-13-2006, 01:13 AM
All my friends are thinner than I am... I often wonder if they feel sorry for me :(.
That all depends on whether or not they've ever been heavy.

Part of my reason for feeling bad for them is because I've been there. And I know what it feels like. I know how I felt about myself. And I simply can't feel 'good' about being thinner than they are knowing how miserable they are about themselves. Because, as I said, I've been there.

Now, someone whose never been heavy might not have that 'sympathy' for others that are heavy, I don't know. Someone who is thin who has ALWAYS been thin might not understand what it feels like. But for me, who has "been there, done that", knows what it feels like. And it sometimes makes me sad.

06-13-2006, 01:26 AM
All my friends are thinner than I am... I often wonder if they feel sorry for me :(.
I have often wondered the same thing.
I know that they don't act like it but you have to wonder sometimes whats going on in the back of their minds.

06-13-2006, 02:08 AM
I have been the fattest of the group before. And I can tell you that I am happy, happy, happy not to be her anymore. At this point I'd say I'm probably in the middle of everyone. But, even the heaviest of my friends isn't huge like I was way back when.

As for whether or not they felt sorry for me when I was so fat, I'd say they did not. As my friends they felt bad that I struggled with self esteem...but they always so me for who I was not what I was. In fact, I haven't had a friend yet look at before and after pictures with me who didn't tell me that they had no idea I was as big as I was back then. They just didn't think of me in terms of size.

06-13-2006, 11:24 AM
I have a friend who was very shallow in that way, not overtly towards me but just in her general viewpoint. She would make comments about someone being 'big', and would complain about her weight even though she was wearing size 7 jeans. And here I was 200+ pounds! One day I was just fed up with her and told her that her commments really told me how she viewed me, because the people she called 'big' were in reality smaller than me! I know she probably didn't even think about me in that way, but I just got sick and tired of her shallowness. Needless to say, we kinda drifted apart...

Oh, and just have to comment on your screen name, thinbefore40! That really struck a cord with me, because I was bound and determined that I would have lost my weight before my 40th birthday, which was last August. Already I say that the 40's are the best years so far, and having the weight off is one big reason. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

06-13-2006, 12:09 PM
Thinbefore40: I have been there! Is sucks to make sure you are in the right row for the coaster that has double seatbelts to make sure that you have the extra room (the bar that comes over locks looser on that one)!
In the past, before I moved to TN, I gauged my weight on how well I fit in the seat of the double dragons coaster :P

OK...the real reason I came to rant was because I just went through this thing with my company - we are ordering shirts for a 3 day event. Of course the people that are going (5 of us) order the shirts that don't go up to 1X or 2X, they are S-XXL (ladies 18). I am stuck trying to find shirts that are at least the same color (or close to it) that come in my size. THEN when they come in, it's a hit or miss on if they will actually fit. I hate the fact that I am going to look different than everyone for the simple reason I am too fat to fit in the regular shirts. :(

06-13-2006, 12:23 PM
Thinbefore40: I have 4 roomies, all girls. 3 of the 4 weigh < 120 and the 4th only weighs more cause she is taller. All of them are certifiable hotties. I feel like a giant blob next to them most times.

Piperboo: That really sucks, and I'm sorry, there really are no words of encouragement cause that just plain all round sucks. Just think that by next year, if you stick with you're healthy lifestyle, it won't be an issue

06-13-2006, 12:36 PM
When we moved here from another city I was stunned that there were no fat moms in my neighborhood. This town is so much more health concious than the old factory town I lived in before. Everyone here was so friendly but I felt so uncomfortable being the only overweight woman in our group. My husband always laughs when a house goes up for sale in our neighborhood because I am always hoping that a fat mom will move in. It hasn't happened yet, but I am getting used to being the odd one out. I've just recently begun a friendship with one of the skinnies and opening myself up to her and I find she and I have so much in common. I now realize that I have been practicing reverse fat discrimination ("skinny discrimination" maybe???). But that is a whole 'nother thread, lol.

06-13-2006, 04:47 PM
That is a whole 'nother thread probably, but I know I used to and probably still discriminate a little. I thought the skinny, pretty girls all had it made, until I became friends with a group of them about two years ago. In being in that group, I realized that they have JUST as many issues about themselves as I did. There will always be something new to worry about with your body, no matter what weight you are.

06-13-2006, 05:24 PM
It really is what started this journey again. I want to shop in SKINNY stores!! To be able to walk into ANY store and try something on...man what a feeling I bet.

06-13-2006, 07:00 PM
I remember how terrible I felt ...this was THIRTY years ago, when I was a teenager. I was 5'6 and weighed 145. Not perfect, not thin, -- but okay. I worked in a store as a cashier, and we had to wear these ugly yellow smocks. The head cashier had to order our smocks when we started working there, and she said to me, "Well, I guess you need the XXL?" :mad: I was like, WTF? ? ? And I think she ruined me for life...I didn't even think I was overweight then, but obviously everybody else did. All the other cashiers were getting their little extra-small petite smocks, and I was supposed to get an XXL. Grrrrrrrrr.

I could still smack the you-know-what out of her when I think about it and she's probably been dead for 20 years.

06-13-2006, 07:10 PM
Piperboo, I know what you mean about the shirts. When the hospital I worked for always ordered us shirts, they ordered mine a 2X and they never fit right. I didn't say anything because I was embarassed to admit I was too big. I just didn't wear them.

apollo chick
06-13-2006, 07:40 PM
have i got one for y'all...my MOM and my sister are both skinny...ugh!
as for the skinny girlfriends, my mom told me a story once and it opened my eyes. she was complaining about gaining a few lbs and her friend (who was heavier) told her to be quiet and kinda rolled her eyes. well my mom explained that gaining a few lbs was as traumatic for her as it is for us. :o ps she also hates being called "skinny" hahaha but that's a whole other thread too
i lost about 60 lbs a few years ago and, though i'm not as heavy, my belly looks horrible. i have like this loose skin or something so even if i wear a smaller size it still looks like crap! but i'm still tryin to lose more again
we'll get thru it and be major hotties...RIGHT????

06-13-2006, 11:12 PM
We're destined to be hot! I can feel it.

One thing I do worry about, though, is the loose skin. Is there a way to avoid it? Does it always happen or is it only when you lose really quickly? I hate to think about going through all this trouble and still look bad, only different. I guess plastic surgery is there if I need it...but if I wanted plastic surgery I'd have it done now! hahaha

I HATE being the fattest of my friends. I HATE going to functions and looking around to see if there is anyone bigger than me... What kind of thinking is that???? It's no way to live, for sure. I always wonder what people are thinking when they look at me. I generally try to just be quiet and hope no on notices I'm there...

I also know how you feel about the skinny neighborhood. We just moved into ours in Feb and EVERYONE is thin and gorgeous. I am intimidated even going for a walk around the block! Oh well...it won't last forever...I'm determined about that!

06-13-2006, 11:38 PM
OH wow, Its been that way for me my ENTIRE life! It does get old, doesnt it? Sometimes I wish i could be normal.

But, what ticks me off is those people (such as my 2 best friends and my brother) who can eat anything, in any amount, and sit on their butts all day, and NEVER gain an ounce. Whats with that?

Another thing that ticks me off is when one of them, or anyone, for that matter, complains that they are fat, when in all reality, they are completely fine. I tell them, I am bigger than you, so if you call yourself fat, you are calling me fat as well, so shut up! Especially the friend that is a freakin size 2...jeez...

06-14-2006, 10:01 PM
I know exactly what you mean! I only have ONE friend who is heavier than me but she's gorgeous and get all the guys just like all my other friends who are normal weight. I'm always the outsider. :(

06-14-2006, 11:11 PM

Yeah all of my friends are slim and gorgeous Like 120 pounds lets go the beach every friggen weekend:mad: And for some reason they are always on sometype of stupid diet and exercising. I am the fat friend who is stylish, so my clothes some time negate the fact that I am hundred pounds over weight. My sense of humor and cute face gets me buy. Most of the time I am last person to dance with someone, and I hate the fact that some men are attractive to me for the fact that I am plump, uggghhh. I am like uhh i have nice face and nice shape body (despite the fat)..can you like me for another reason. Then I hate talking to them about dieting and stuff. Its so annoying sometimes to hear them talk about being fat, and in back of my mind im like yeah right!!!!, sometimes i feel like they are doing on purpose to make mockery of me. O the Joy. I am watching the half ton man on discovery channel and maybe I am blesssed at 260.:shrug:

06-15-2006, 11:37 AM
NOt me. Sadly, I'm the only skinny one in my group of friends. It's weird because I'm naturally small by genetics, but they would tease me all the time about it. I feel uncomfortable eating around them occasionally because weight always comes up as an issue. And its as if I have no right to consider the calories of the actual food JUST BECAUSE I'm small. And its almost as if I have every right to EAT EVERYTHING because I'm small. All this "Youre so tiny" talk is annoying but I try my best to avoid it. I don even bother going shopping with them. In our group of friends, I'm the smallest at a size 0. My friends are sizes 7, 8s, 10s, and 16. You can see why I get so much criticism.

06-15-2006, 04:53 PM
through *tears* ....the whole shirt thing I mentioned above. I know this probably belongs on another thread, but I had already mentioned it here. I just got a call from my boss yelling at me because I ordered different shirts. What a horrible thing. Embarrassing. Now everyone has to order the styles that fit *me*. No doubt they will be very upset with me. The shirts they were getting were cool ones Adidas - Cutter and Buck - Ping shirts - really cool stuff. Now they will have to order a generic brand, because of *me*. I started crying on the phone with my boss. I am so upset. I wouldn't really care, but the other day when it was brought up about switching all the shirts over, a couple people were like but we want THESE shirts. Ya. so. sniffle.

apollo chick
06-15-2006, 05:18 PM
piper::hug: i have something really horrible to say but these people you work with...if they REALLY care about you they won't give a dang about the shirts. i don't mean anything against your friends at work at all. i DO know that i had friends at work--we'd go to each other's weddings and celebrate new babies, hang after work, etc.--and then i got sick. and poof they vanished. i still see them sometimes (if i happen to be out and run into them) and they tell me how much they miss me yadda yadda. it crushed me at first but now well i guess it's life. so, piper don't let them get ya down.
hey love, i LIVE on a friggin beach hahaha :o well it's an island but it's a small one so i understand about the beach thing. ya know what when i go out i strut like i am a size 0 and make sure people know that i am a hottie just dying to get out of this shell. seems to work hahaha men aren't too bright!:devil: y'all with me on this one???

06-15-2006, 05:24 PM
I think sometimes they don't realize how something can affect someone. The thing is is that this is what motivated me last week to finally do something. How do you explain that to someone? It's just hard. I know I will look back and I will think it's silly, but it still hurts right now.

apollo chick
06-15-2006, 05:30 PM
hey it's only silly if EVERYONE thinks it's silly...so it's not silly. i had to go shopping w/my skinny mom last year for some stage clothes and UGH! hahaha it was horrible. shoot she won't even buy me clothes anymore, if they're too big i feel bad and if they're too small she feels guilty...

06-15-2006, 05:40 PM
Oh yeah! I know what you mean on that one! I feel guilty though if it's too small....usually I just accept it and say how great it is and then hang it in the closet for "when I lose weight"

apollo chick
06-15-2006, 06:17 PM
well big hugs and wishes for a happier day!

06-15-2006, 06:35 PM
Aw, Piperboo...sorry you had to go through this. I hate reading stuff like this. People don't realize how they hurt your feelings sometimes...and sometimes they do, which makes it even worse.

What kind of job is it you have that you have to all wear the same shirts for a few days? Do you really like this job? (aside from the shirt thing, of course) ....are you like, a back up singer to Beyonce, or something? Hmm, because that is the only job I would think you would be required to all wear the same shirt.....;)

06-15-2006, 06:40 PM
LOL! Back up singer for Beyonce! hahaha
Actually I SELL this stuff - pens, shirts, etc. We also do corporate events, which is what this is. Been doing this for 8 years. Thing is, is we have to practice what we preach. We sell branding /continuity so therefore we have to practice it. Also, we have to be easily identifiable by the huge hoards of people that will be at this meeting....

06-19-2006, 11:18 PM
:) Yeah i wonder the same thing. I was at the Hulk roller coaster, and they have those two seat tests where you sit to see if you fit. I did.. but my hottie friends asked me why I needed to test them and that they knew I will fit into it! LOL I told them I was just testing to save myself humilation if I didn't test and ended up not fitting and having to leave the ride!

If you are ever in Florida, go to Orlando Universal Studios and ride the Hulk roller coaster! I loved it! :D

I know this was awhile back, just wanted to share my experience. A couple of months after I graduated college I gained a lot of weight. I went to Great America with (and I thank god now for this) my mom. We tried to get on the old wooden rollercoaster. I sat down and they tried to close the bar but it wouldn't click. They tried several times but in the end they said how sorry they were and said they would call another ride so I could go ahead of the line. All through that I just wanted to run away from the ride, the people, and out of the park. I couldn't stop crying. I haven't been to an amusement park since. Even though I'm 70 pounds lighter then I was then, I still have this fear that I won't be able to fit. I'm waiting until I'm under 200 before I go back. When it happened I couldn't tell anyone, because I've never had any big friends. Being the biggest one you know can suck in that way.

06-20-2006, 10:58 AM
Well, I was fitting into the seats really well at Universal Studios at 240 lbs, so if you get a chance, GO!! I know that is traumatic though because when I was 265ish I was really worried that the bar wasn't going to close one time. The attendent that comes around to check to see if everything is buckled correctly just pushed down on it really hard and it clicked (thank goodness!). I would have been mortified if I was the only one getting up and having to wait for my friend because I was too fat. Not only do you have to do the walk of shame past everyone already seated on the coaster, you have to do it in front of the gazillion people waiting in line to ride it!

Oh what a horrible experience Chicky...but you have lost 50 lbs!!! That is so awesome. Don't be afraid to give it a try again....

06-20-2006, 09:29 PM
Thanks...yeah, I'm planing a trip to an amusement park next month.

06-20-2006, 09:53 PM
Oh my gosh...I thought that was such a unique fear that I had...but you guys share it, too! I remember, as a teenager, seeing a very big man have to get off a roller coaster...now I would bet that I'm as big as he was! I'm so scared that those things won't close on me that I just don't try...to avoid the humiliation. Especially because I've got such horrible proportions. I weigh 258 and so many people on this site who weigh what I do or even more wear a much smaller size that me. My weight is ALL around my middle....so my jeans are a size 28! I can't believe it but they are! My shirts are 3x. And it's all so they fit around the middle. My arms and legs are twiggy and even my butt is relatively small. I HATE my shape!!!!!! And because of how I'm shaped I am so scared I wouldn't fit into a ride. I think that will be one of my rewards for a mini goal at some point. A trip to an amusement park. I love to ride and I miss it a lot!

06-21-2006, 12:01 AM

part of the reason I am so pushed to lose weight is because my fiance' is 8 years younger than me, 25 and whenever we go to texas to visit his family everyone is tan and skinny!

it is so darn discouraging to go out down there and be surrounded by girly girls, all made up and wearing form fitting/revealing clothes.

I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb!

Don't feel bad, I'm right there with you, when I go back down there over Labor Day, I will (hopefully) be about 50 pounds lighter than the last time they saw me, and into a size 13-14 from a 22.

Plus i'll have definition from the weights I have been adding after my cardio.

Think they'll notice? ;)

Misti in Seattle
06-21-2006, 12:13 AM
Well I am hoping to visit my best Bud in Florida next spring, and she said she had a dream that I came to see her and was "tuck you shirt in your pants skinny" LOL. She sent me a birthday card with a little frilly dress on the front and said she can't wait until I can fit into it LOL. I am certainly going to try!

But yes, such things do motivate us and keep us going. This is NOT easy; it is hard work. But if we want it badly enough, we can make it happen.

Hang in there and I hope you feel "on track" very soon.

06-21-2006, 12:32 AM
This happens to me everyday. I know where you are coming from. All of my friends are skinny little hotties, for that matter I used to be one of them, and I decided I am going to be again. It is hard. I am going back to south carolina, where I am from Labor Day weekend and I am bound and determines to be a little smaller. I am far from being the skinny hottie I once was and definately wont be there by september but if I keep up at the rate I am going I will be off to a good start!
Good luck to you,