[justjodi]

ok so here we go!! since i used up all my free passes, tomorrow i will start agains, pity party excuses, whining etc i am starting fresh today at 8:30am. here's the plan...

saturday 6/10
b- fiber one, skim milk, banana, coffee, water
s- peach, a few peanuts, water
l- salad, lf dressing, tuna, water
s- granola bar, water
d- grilled chicken, small sweet potato, green beans, water
s- rice cakes, fruit if needed, more water

i am now off to eat breakfast, i will then speed clean this house, go do my shopping, plant some stuff in the garden, and then dye my hair for little pick me up. i'm putting my pedometer on as soon as i get dressed! it is going to be a good thoughtful day here!!

btw i just found the strength to get on the scale and i am at 223.5 so i need to find my way back to the 218 and then just get on with it!

have a good one chicks!!

[ellis]

Jodi, I just got out of bed. It's like, 3am.
I spent the day (Saturday, that is) in bed reading. I seem to recall doing some tidying early in the day, but that was a long time ago, and I've had a four hour nap, and now I can't get to sleep.

Planning a very good (and hopefully more active) day tomorrow. I mean today.

M1: Fibre 1, blueberries, yogurt
coffees
M2:
M3:
M4:
M5:
M6:

[justjodi]

oh ellis you crack me up!! i hate when i can't get to sleep at night. hope you have a restful sunday planned.

so yesterday was not perfect, but it was not that bad either. i got a bit carried away with snacks last night but not counting that as a binge. so 1 binge free day for me. today's plan? we just got back from the flea market had a totally unhealthy b-fast there but i'm going to work with ti and make this day a success!


b- 1/2 beef hoagie sandwich, 1/2 lemon shake, coffee
l- turkey on whole wheat with light mayo tomato and lettuce, cherries, water
d- stuffed pepper, mashed potatoes, corn, (all regular normal portion size) water
dessert- 1 brownie, coffee
snack- rice cakes, green tea, fruit if needed

today i will be doing more yard work and gardening, laundry etc and i just walked a little over 2 miles at the flea market

have a good one everyone!!

[ellis]

Jodi, did you buy anything at the flea market? I haven't been to one in years... we used to go almost every Sunday.

Okay, so how is it possible to gain 4 pounds overnight? I mean, I've done it before, but what the hoodle doo is going on here.

I've got to "get clean" today. I'm weighing in on Thursday, and I'm running through all my excuses in my head before I go: "I've been depressed." "My meds made me sleep all the time." "I just started a new med on Monday, and they haven't kicked in yet."

Today:
M1: 2 slices of whole wheat w/peanut butter and a coffee
M2: Fibre 1 w/yogurt and blueberries
M3: ?
M4:
M5:
M6:

[justjodi]

oh ellis sorry to hear about the meds, i hope that all gets worked out soon. i loved the flea market i got some cherries, eggplant, radishes, lettuce etc. all yummy fresh stuff. it was so nice to have a few minutes to just walk around and relax. so needless to say, my eating has been off the charts LOL. just throwing anything in my mouth to stop the smoke craving. i hope tomorrow will be better! so let me plan it out and see what happens

wednesday
b- coffee, fiber 1, skim, banana, water
s- cheese, wheat thins, water
l- smartones meal, broccoli, cherries, water
s- yogurt, water
d- soft tacos, salad w/ lf dressing, water
s- coffee, rice cakes, water

still no plan on going to the gym, i need to work that back into my week! nt going to stress about it today though.

[ellis]

Jodi, it's great that you bought good healthy food! Right now, anything is better than sticking a cig in your mouth.
I seem to recall hearing this from someone... that it's easier to quit smoking if you think of yourself as a non-smoker. You know? You sort of "become the person you want to be".
I think I've heard that about weight loss, too. Let's all pretend we're slim non-smokers.

I just had a vodka and orange juice and half a glass of wine, and I think it put me right over the edge.
We went to a friend's retirement dinner this evening. It was a lovely meal... nice not to have to cook. I am beat... am going to take out my contacts and crawl into bed.

Toodle ooo...

[ScooterGirl]

Do you think this works with everything??? Okay then I'm a slim, non-smoking, sahm who is also a rich and famous author. *wishes wishes wishes wishes* I hope this works.

Yay for you, Jodi!!! Smoking has got to be an incredibly hard addiction to beat!

Okay I'm starrrrving and I used up all my calories for the day so I'm headin to bed!

[justjodi]

ellis- i want to have my own retirement dinner!! sounds like you had a good time!! i like the idea of thinking of who i'd like to be. i'm a thin, non-smoking, millionaire, who gives generiously LOL. why am i up at 3am?? well my lungs are plotting revenge and possibly planning a move. i am coughing like a nut!! i have an old inhaler from when i was sick in feb (thank goodness) so now i am all wired up on that.

thanks scootergirl it is pretty tough! thanks for the encouragement.

[ellis]

Gee, Scooter, it never occurred to me to be rich, too! AND a famous author! I'll take those too, please!

Jodi, I'm so sorry you had a rough night. I hope you got through it okay. Using your inhaler was a good idea.
Speaking of smoking, when I started my Wellbutrin on Monday, my psychiatrist asked if I smoked. When I said "no", he said, "Well now would be a good time to start, because Wellbutrin will help you to stop."
Stick to your food plan today, eh, sweetie? And please pass the cherries.

Today:
M1: blueberries, yogurt, Fibre 1
coffees w/skim milk
M2:
M3:
M4:
M5:
M6:

[purplepansy912]

hi ellis..
stick to the wellbutrin. It does work after a period of time once it gets into your system.
I started while being on another med and I felt awful the first few weeks. I felt spacey, jittery, alot of anxiety! I had headaches, heart palpations, aggitation. You name the side effects on the sheets, I had it!
It took three months for wellbutrin to kick in and do something for me. I feel much much better on it now. I pop my pill early in the am and have no side effects at all.

My plan for today is to walk 60mins, eat 22 points and drink 6 glasses of water a day.

[ellis]

Pansy, thank you so much for the affirmation regarding the Wellbutrin. I'm glad it's working for you.
I'm hoping so much that it'll work. I know it'll take awhile before I know for certain, but so far I already seem to have more energy. (although I've had two "melt-downs" today already. )
I love your new avatar, btw! You're lovely!!
Good luck with your plan today!

[justjodi]

i took wellbutrin about 7-8 years ago it was supposed to help me kick the habit back then. it did help really but then i quit right befor the end of the program (no big surprise there) maybe i should call my doc? today was awful, i keep snapping at everyone and then crying about it. i feel like a nut. i did come home from work and have just 1 cig about 2 hours ago. i didn't really even want to smoke it as much as just hold it and smell it and relax. feeling better now. i'm going to do this!!

well i stuck with the plan today the only added thing was too much licorice but i can live with that.

welcome pansy!!

[da fat n da furious]

What is wellbutrin?

I was scared to come in here and read,,,I have found that the last 5 weeks I have been *weak* struggling...what have you. I went off of white sugar and feel like an egg. So easy to crack. I even PMed Ellis this past week about this,,,feeling like Im one post away from a binge. Ive had a couple of moments of eating something I shouldn't. But on the whole feeling I am succeeding,,,I hate doubting myself but I keep thinking this is short lived I won't last...blah blah Im not normally a negative person, and yet I am about my eating. So many years of failure have piled on that self doubt.

I come in,,,worried someone is in worse shape then me...crazy eh? Worried they are going to need support...I don't think I can support anyone,,,I can't even support myself some days. And yet,,,wonder if by just being here,,,showing the other person they are not alone,,,does that help? Cause I know when Im at my darkest,,reading other peoples struggles makes me feel I have someone in there with me.

Am I making sense to anyone?

[ellis]

Angelia, you totally make sense. As you said, I think that simply letting others know that they're not alone is huge.
It's SO hard to be supportive when you're not doing well yourself. Tell me about it. As a moderator, I just try to shut my mind to it. Otherwise I'd be terribly resentful of others. I'm SO happy when other people are successful. I think in particular for people who have struggled with weight loss all their lives. I haven't... I've had my shot at being slim, and I still have that good memory.

I cried all day yesterday, and I'm looking at a similar day today. I mean, how am I supposed to even THINK about losing weight when I'm in the middle of a major depressive episode?

Sorry... I didn't mean to dump. I have to head out to my weight loss clinic to be weighed by the doctor. I can't wait to find out how much I've gained. And I think my trainer may be measuring me. Either that, or checking my exercise/heart rate, etc. I've barely been able to move for four weeks. I should be in great shape.
I love the program, but I'm in no mood to hear today, "All you have to do is journal your food, and eat three meals and three snacks. And exercise. It's that simple." Yeah, sure. It's really simple when you're curled up on the floor in a crying jag, trying not to think of harming yourself.

Jodi, if the Wellbutrin worked for you, go and get some now! Don't put yourself through this, hon. It's a really tough time quitting smoking, and it's so important to your health. Whatever helps you get by...

[justjodi]

awwwww ellis you ok?? you poor thing!! i hate those crying days. i hope the trip to the weight loss thingy went well for you today. (((ellis))) i'm with you who can lose weight with the weight of the world on our shoulders?? i'm still trying! i did well today really. i packed a b-fast and snacks for work and then treated myself to lunch. i had my one smoke after dinner, out on the deck with a strong hot cup of coffee and i feel good.

angelia- welcome! hop in anytime! i feel the same way as you when i am down i have a rough time trying to support anyone. and yes just knowing there is someone else out there in the same boat is a world of help in itself! i hope you are feeling a bit stronger! you can do this! we all have it in us to do this, it's never easy but it's worth it in the end! good luck!

so today looked like this
1/2 cantaloupe, 1 cup lf cottage cheese, coffee, water
pretzels
6in subway club with ff dressing, water
ww spaghetti, 1 meatball, lots of sauce, salad w/ ff dressing, water
coffee
snack- watermelon? maybe a few rice cakes?

no official exercise again today i have to get my but in gear soon!!