Help me out ladies I need some tips. I'm single and I only know 2 blokes who are single and if I was going to hook up with them it would have happened already So anyway how did you meet your partner. Whats a way to meet new people friends as well as potential partners without going down the whole organised dating route.
I'm probably going to be moving to a new area on my own so I want to meet all kinds of people.
A male friend of mine was trying to convince a female friend of mine that they should date. Female friend and I jokingly told male friend that we have all been friends long enough to know that he is too fickle and if they dated they would NEVER be friends again. Male friend persisted and set me up with one of his other male friends for us al to go motorcycle riding--it was a disaster......but we all went to another mutual male friends house of the two guys where I met my husband!!! 20 years later we are still together and the male friend still tells us to remeber that he was the one that introduced us!!
Another male friend who is divorced signed up for some "fun" classes at a local college. He met his current girlfriend at at a line dancing class.
I do go to bars but you never meet anyone decent in bars or i haven't anyway. my best mate met her hubby in a club though so i guess you can never rule it out.
But seriously everyone I know is now coupled up and all their mates seem to be so i can't even say set me up on a date anymore. There are no men at work I work in a hospital in the female unit and I'm a student but am quite a bit older than the normal students so all the younger guys are too young and the few that are older than me on my course are married with kids.
i'm not that bad a catch I'm pretty independent, friendly, caring, will have own career, flat etc hopefully when my course finishes I even have a fairly good figure these days so I can't hide behind my weight anymore so where are the men. lol.
I had been with my ex, a navy seal, for just under a year. It was long distance and he was awful to me. He was preparing to ship off to kuwait and was cutting me loose in the process. I went into work one evening and found out I had to train a new staff member- again. He was a 26 year old architect who took a second job to make some extra money, get a gym membership, and meet some new people as he was new in town. I shook his hand and was kind of (okay, really) rude. To me, he was just a nuisance. BUT, I couldn't help but notice how his wonderful and NICE personality just oozed from him. I had to have him.
later on that evening, I got a phone call from Zach (the seal). He was shipping off the next morning and didn't sound the least bit concerned. It was over. So, the day that Zach walked out, Ross walked in. Just like that.
And for those of you that say "You broke up with someone after they got shipped off to war???", realize that it was a long time coming, he returned home perfectly safe, and we still keep in touch.
I had just moved to back to my home state to take care of my grandma and one of my best friends came over to see me and brought a friend of his along - the rest is history (been married 16 years, together 18)
Some "get together" scenarios- Most of the couples I know met at work or are friom the same town and reconnected later on. Or in COMPLETELY random places like the grocery store. My friend Erin met her boyfriend, who was in the Navy at the time, at a bar in Norfolk, VA when she was visiting a friend out there. He hit on her. They danced. She took him back to the hotel and had her way. She didn't know what to do, so just wrote him off. he actually called when she got home. Long distance relationship ensued. they are now happily together living in Salem, Mass. He's a really great guy. You just never know. I guess my advice is don't immediately write someone off because of what you may quickly think of him. Of course, if you "thinK" he's an ax-murderer, by all means write him off.
I met my husband through work. I worked with his brother who I thought was a wonderful family man (always told his wife "I love you" on the phone and was totally crazy for his kids). One day I asked him if there were any more like him in his family and he said, "Yes, as a matter of fact I do have a single older brother." He got us together and the rest as they say, is history. My husband is a wonderful husband and father just like his brother is. I totally credit their mom for having raised them right!
From the replies, I'm getting the impression that what I think may be true. You don't find ways to "meet" that special someone. You'll either meet them, or you'll find ways to take second best.
I met my husband online. Wasn't looking to meet anyone, wasn't interested in a relationship. We started out as friends with a couple other online friends who all chatted each evening. It just grew from there.
I think if you don't look, you'll find them easier. If you look, you may set yourself up to just accepting someone who may be just "ok" with you. Still get out and meet people. Just don't go into it with the expectation of looking for Mr. Right.
IP: Well, you are tugging at my heart strings because here is a description of me: I have an older sister that met her husband in high school. They are such a happy couple that since I was eleven years old, I've wanted a relationship just like theirs and instantly developed my 'desperate aura', as I call it. I dediced when I was eleven that I had it all planned out...I graduate from high school in 1983 and by 1984, I want to be married and by 1985, I want to be pregnant with my first of, say, 3 children. So, this would mean that, by now, I'd be pushing my 25th wedding anniversary and getting kids off to college, right?
WRONG!!!
By the time I was 30, I lost count of how many men I'd slept with...while sleeping with them, I was imagining that this was finally the love at first sight I'd been looking for and deciding what color my bridesmaid's gowns would be...meanwhile, said future groom would be secretly plotting how quickly he could escape breakfast in bed and hoping he wouldn't have to ask me what my name was again. If you get my point. I was the epitome of 'always the bridesmaid,never the bride' and I owe it to my 'desperate aura'. Men could see me coming a mile away as an easy target...just say a few, "Oh...I can't believe I've finally found you..." or "Women like you are so hard to find..." and I was all, "I've finally found the one for me!!"...for the zillionth time.
So, basically, what I'm getting at is...and believe me...I know this is easier said that done because everybody used to tell me this and I thought...Pfttt...like they know how it feels to really, really want a good guy in my life. BUT, if you really and truly take a year off from looking for a guy...concentrate on your career, GIRL friends, family (like siblings or parents), hobbies, etc...just completely take yourself off the market for ONE FULL YEAR. Tell yourself that, even if a good guy comes around, you are to tell the guy that you aren't really interested in dating at the moment. You will give off a totally different wave-length and all the men in the world will be bowing at your feet.
There is a book that was out about ten years ago called The Rules that was kind of controvertial, but had some GREAT pointers. Most men were all, "Oh, we HATE girls that aren't at our beckon call"... and "We LOVE it when a woman asks us out!" Sure, it makes it easy on them and, MOST men won't make a commitment with a girl that asks them out. ALL men, (don't argue with me EZMONEY - Gary - resistance if futile!!) want what they can't have, so if you are officially off the market, they'll be able to tell and it will drive them NUTS if you act if you could care less if they exist...especially if they ask you out and you say, "No, thanks...I'm not interested in dating at the moment." And they'll say, "Oh...are you married...have a boyfriend?" And you say, "No, I just don't want to right now...I'm too busy with my job (or family or friends) and I'm having too much fun being single." It'll drive the men CRAZY!! Get my drift?
Good luck!! By the way...I FINALLY got married and met him at work when I "wasn't looking"...but not till I was 36 years old!!! And I had both of my kids before I was married and not only are then NOT going off to college, but they the youngest is in preschool. One thing you cannot ever, ever plan on is when God says you are ready to meet Mr. Right. And you can't force it, you can't even hope for it...you just have to let it happen.
Oh...and another thing. I remember when I was about 21, my sister's next door neighbor met her husband at a bar. So, of course, I thought...this is where I'll meet my Mr. Right, right? WRONG again. LOADS of Mr. Wrongs, but if there were Mr. Rights in the bars I went to, they must have seen my 'desperate aura' and went to the next girl. Of course, I was more than likely decked out like a ZZ Top video girl and also had a 'sleep with me, I'm easy' aura going, but it was unintentional...I thought I was attractive. Which, I probably was, but in the wrong way.
In other words...Mr. Right isn't looking for Ms. Right in a bar. So go to a bar if you must, but don't look for Mr. Right there. Anywhere, but there...
Techwife, your "desperate aura" has described me since January. Much of what contributed to my "aura" is the fact that I had just started a job that wasn't all I thought it was cracked up to be, I found myself somewhat friendless for the first time in my life (they all moved, got married, or started having babies), and my family suddenly fell apart (long story). I was (and still am) in the midst of weight loss. Also, I began the transition away from being a full-time mother to realizing that one day soon, I am going to be experiencing the empty-nest syndrome. I went out with two men recently, and what happened is that I projected all of my missing satisfaction from friends, family, career, etc. into the relationship (the only positive thing in my life at the time, if only by chance). That is enough to scare ANYBODY off, or at least it would be enough to scare me off from someone! LOL.
My best friend married a guy from high school, but they didn't hang out in school.
Another friend met her husband at work - actually, two friends I have met husbands at work.
My sister met her fiancee by going speed-dating (and he's a decent catch!).
Actually, speed dating is something I would do if I didn't have kids and/or a husband. I don't know why kids would be an issue, but it would. But if they'd had such a thing in the 80's, I'd have done it...I think I'd crack up all the way through it. You know...I HATE blind dates or meeting someone on-line. I know TONS of people meet this way, but I've always hated feeling like I was some slab of meat placed before someone, being put up for inspection. And the guys I met were instantly unattractive to me because they, too, seemed desperate and this made them HORRIBLY unattractive to me. I think with Speed Dating, if you have a selection of guys to look at, I wouldn't feel so on-the-spot. With the job I had when I was about 31, I had my boss, in the office and he was always out of town and that was IT. I didn't work with anybody!! I just sat there answering the phone and doing paperwork...all..by...my...self. And I was a single mom and my family gave me MAJOR attitude when I'd ask for a babysitting stint to go on a date. So, it was so desperate that unless someone came strolling through my living room or was doing laundry at my laundromat, I wasn't going to meet ANYONE. So, this is how I met my husband...I was at the above job and he always had to order parts from me. He was married, but a super-nice guy. Since he was married, HE was off the market and I was off the market to HIM because, well, I wanted a husband, but not someone ELSE's husband. So, we'd talk and talk and talk and became absolute best friends. He would tell me about going bowling with his wife and friends and I'd tell him about my dating faux pas. And then one day, he was upset and crying because his wife had decided to become a lesbian!!! Or at least bisexual. Nothing wrong with that, but it is a bit counter-productive to a man/woman marriage... So, I said, "GET THE NET!! I FINALLY GOT A KEEPER!!" A truly untraditional way of going about it, but, hey, it worked for me! The reason my son is older than I am married is because his divorce took YEARS and we decided to go ahead and have a baby because he'd always wanted a baby and couldn't have any with his first wife, so, yes, I had a baby with a married man, but...it was just a technicality I always tell people, "I may have done the puzzle from the inside out, but at least I finally have a completed puzzle!"
Anyhow...it's hard to say how to meet the right guy...but one thing's for sure, they'll clop you on the side of the head when you least expect it.
Mines kinda funny. My big sister ( she's 7 years older than me) was aggressively doing the online thing. I mean she was out ALL the time. Anyhow she had tried many times to get me to sign up to no avail. Finally she posed herself as me online by posting my pics and chatting as me. ( not only to prove to me how many admirers I could accumulate but to SPY on hers!) One day I was at her house and found her online...(BIG surprise ) and she was chatting as me. After watching and reading I told her to scoot over and resumed the conversation....3 months later we met (double date with sis no less) and now have our first child 3 1/2 years later. Ironically, sister is still single.
Where did you meet your partner
So anyway how did you meet your partner. Whats a way to meet new people friends as well as potential partners without going down the whole organised dating route. 
(been married 16 years, together 18)
