I am so frustrated. I am self sabotaging yet again. Let me preface by giving you a little bit of information...
I am a skinny fat girl. You know the kind, you see them and think there is no way they need to lose any weight. The trick is when you only need to lose 10 lbs the right pair of jeans can hide it perfectly. And I know what you are saying 10 lbs is not a big deal right...but I can see it growing exponentially if I do not get a handle on it now. Can you tell that I am constantly trying to defend my motives...
I started worrying about my weight as I graduallly began to grow out of the clothes that I own and had to start buying bigger sizes. For me it has been a tale of 'if I am not trying to LOSE weight I will definitely gain'. So I started coming here and posting, put together a exercise schedule and have been trying to stick under a certain amount of calories per day.
I was doing fine. I would have my bad meals, but who doesn't I would just accept it and move on. But now I am having sets of bad days. Let me give an example of what happened last night...
I woke up and ate great up until dinner. Decided to go out to a movie and dinner with my husband. We went to Olive Garden and I ate breadsticks, soup, and my whole entire entree. I remember being full and satisfied after the soup but continuing to eat because I was 'cheating' and I knew I would have to go back to being good the next morning. Then at the movie even though I was overly full I ate popcorn, candy and a soda. I felt physically ill afterwards. I felt like the seams of my stomach were going to come undone. That is how full I felt. This same scenario played itself out this past Saturday and Sunday as well just replce the foods with something equally bad for me. Same sick feeling...
I feel like one of those dogs that cannot just have a bowl of food set out for them because they will eat till their sick. You know the ones that only get a certain amount per day and have to be regulated by their owners.
I cannot keep doing this to myself. I am beginning to see that the way I view food and weight loss is probably not healthy. I am just so frustrated because I pride myself on being very informed when it comes to nutrition, diet and exercise. I have a complete lack of self control...and a childs mentality when it comes to being off plan with my eating.
I would recommend seeing a dietician...or maybe is there an underlying reason to eat like that? Or do you just like to EAT like the rest of us ...
I know how you feel, I do really well until a certain part of the day, and suddenly I dont' quit eating.
Are you eating too few cals so you are starving later in the day?
I'm curious to see what other say.
You'll do better...we all will, it just takes motivation
Hi Stephie! I don't think I have any particular suggestions for you that you haven't already heard. It's all in your frame of mind, and you know that. For me, sabotaging myself is what I do when I feel like it's hopeless... the "I might as well make it worse" attitude. Maybe next time you feel like doing that, tell yourself to wait 15 minutes. Maybe the urge will pass and/or the part of you that wants you to succeed will catch up to the part of you that wants to give up and overpower it. You can do it if you give yourself a chance!
Hi stephie. I do exactly what you described. Exactly. In fact the other night my husband and I were at a restaurant and I said to him "You know, I could have stopped halfway through and been comfortable, but no. That's why I'll always struggle with weight."
I recently changed my eating plan and it's helped a TON and I think it may help you too. Before if I'd have an off day, I'd do what you did and eat everything thinking I'd get back on plan tomorrow. So what I did was took the highest calorie amount I'd want to eat per day which for me is 1800. I then multiplied that by 7 to get my total calories per week. So now I have to look at the big picture. I have 12,600 calories for the week and even the bad days have to be taken out of there. So if I have a binge day and eat 3,000 calories I have to make up for it later in the week. It makes consequences for my actions and keeps me accountable for an entire week at a time, not a single day.
I have exactly the same problem too. I guess most of us here have the same problem - if we didnt we wouldn't be trying to lose weight in the first place.
At the end of the day, if you binge out you have to just pick yourself up and try again. Continuously beating yourself up about it is not going to help your state of mind. I like stacy's idea about dividing your calories out over a week rather than a day. I do something similar, only with exercise. If I've had a bad couple of days eating (like i did this weekend) I try to do more exercise than usual in the following days. Adding on 10/15mins extra to your workouts for the rest of the week will soon cancel out those extra calories you consume.
I dont think that you should "punish" yourself, with extra exercise or if you use up all your calories for the week, what do you do if you have a day where you can only eat 600cals? You dont honestly eat just 600cals that day do you? Thats not healthy at all, physically or mentally.
I dont know if you all are aware of an Eating Disorder ( I forget the correct name) but its where you overeat, and then panic and go "work it off" Its a form of bulemia.
I think we are all here, to get a healthier view of food, and have healthier bodies, and we shouldnt punish ourself for a bad moment. Losing weight is just as much mental as it is physical.
Also, if you are not taking in enough calories, protein, fats and fiber throughout the day you ARE GOING TO BUCKLE. We all need to practice BALANCING our diets. I have found that when I overeat, its because I havent had enough calories, protein and fiber. Protein and fiber are things that add bulk to your diet, keep you fuller longer, and help stabililze blood sugars which cause out of control cravings.
Im not trying to be on a but I just want everyone here to be developing a HEALTHY relationship with food. It is not the enemy, it is not a reward or a punishment. It is fuel for our bodies, which we all want to be able to love.
I have exactly the same problem too. I guess most of us here have the same problem - if we didnt we wouldn't be trying to lose weight in the first place.
At the end of the day, if you binge out you have to just pick yourself up and try again. Continuously beating yourself up about it is not going to help your state of mind. I like stacy's idea about dividing your calories out over a week rather than a day. I do something similar, only with exercise. If I've had a bad couple of days eating (like i did this weekend) I try to do more exercise than usual in the following days. Adding on 10/15mins extra to your workouts for the rest of the week will soon cancel out those extra calories you consume.
Just want to add that I agree with this, I dont see anything wrong with adding 10/15 mins to your NORMAL routine when you consume extra calories, but dogging yourself out with exercise just because you overate, isnt normal.
Thank you girls for all the support. I visited the CHicks in Control forum and read up a bit on Binge Eating Disorder. Although I do not think I am that drastic it did give some good pointers and also pointed out some things that I was doing that were unhealthy. Such as doing an hour and a half of cardio to counteract eating something I should not have. I agree with you all and think just being more mindful of the big picture and not beating myself up about it will help. Thanks again for being my sistas when in need
I agree with some of the feedback you have been given. It is an inside job that we need to do and until that is taken care of, you will never be happy with the outside.
Have you thought of keeping a journal to log your food intake? It might be worth while if you are eating for the sake of eating and not just because you are hungry. Once you conquer the emotional side of the battle, you can focus more on the physical.
Document when you ate, what you ate, why you ate it. Before you eat, really ask yourself why are you having it. Are you hungry or just bored?
I thoroughly recommend Jillian Michael's Winning to Lose. The book is broken into 3 sections - Self, Science and Sweat. The Self section really hones in on the emotional side of the battle and may give you some handy tools. It is the best resource I have found that focuses on you working from the inside out.
Furthermore, I am kind of in Jillian's camp that will power is a myth. You need to have a no fail environment and not rely soly on will power.
I never said anything about "punishing" and neither did bone idle. The whole point of my plan is to keep me accountable. That means NOT eating like crazy and having to eat 600 calories a day. I believe the lowest I've done is around 1400. Tell me that's not healthy? By the way I believe there are several threads around about a VERY similar concept called calorie cycling. Are you going to go tell them it's not healthy?
ready2shed- I think your second post summed it up. it really got me thinking, too! Enough to investigate exactly what exercize bulimia is. I've often wondered about that because I go to the gym 4-5 times a week. If I've had a particularly bad week food-wise I will make a point to go on a weekend day (usually my rest days). The one thing that seems to define it is "inapropriate behavior" (working out after every meal, working out exessively, etc...) I would like to say, as you've clarified in your second post, that I view nothing wrong with taking a retro-active approach in an apropriate fashion.
Anyway, thank you for the food for thought and the clarification.
Stacey- I agree with what you're saying. I think people tend to mentally "calorie cycle" anyway. It certainly adds an element of awareness and accountability. Anyway, I just thought I would add that I see where you're coming from.
Help. Frustrated and in Need of Advice
...
but I just want everyone here to be developing a HEALTHY relationship with food. It is not the enemy, it is not a reward or a punishment. It is fuel for our bodies, which we all want to be able to love.
