[TBJ333]

Hello!

I'm worried about a friend. She's going through some hard times right now. A lot of life-changing events and stress. I just found out that she's drastically changing her diet, by eliminating a lot of foods. I'm worried that she's concentrating on denying herself food as a way to deal with the stress.

On the one hand, maybe she's making a decision to drastically change her diet so that she can be healthier. Maybe she's making the change now because her life is in transition and now is a good time to start a new habit.

On the other hand, her new food restriction at a time when she doesn't have control over anything else seems suspicious. Her behavior is exactly what comes to mind when I imagine an anorexic person who needs to feel in control and uses food to have that feeling.

I don't want to confront her and say out loud what I'm thinking, because I'm afraid I'll offend her. She never said anything when I gained weight, and I really appreciated that. So I don't want to bring up the topic of whether her diet decisions are the result of her stress... ya know?

Yeah, I know her life is within her control, not mine. But I wish there were something I could do.

[ellis]

I'm sorry about your friend. Obviously you care for her very much... if she's an adult, then I guess all you can do is be there for her. Perhaps you can subtly suggest good, healthy foods on occasion.
I think you're doing the right thing... you're being supportive and caring without being judgemental. I wish the very best for your friend.

[dramaticdiva1]

Hello...
If you are worried about your friend you might want to just try to help her. Recently I have been through a ton of stress and stopped eating because I thought then I would have control over my body, and it did work for a while. But the effects were terrible. I couldn't perform the things I needed to get done because I had absolutely no energy. And I had a breakdown and told myfriends.
I know for me I desperately wanted someone to help me, but at the same time I was to scared to actually ask for help. I think that if you just try to let her know that you care about her, and that you want her to be healthy without accusing her of being anorexic it will be a big relief to her and she might rely on you for help and support. Just be there for her and I think everything will be alright.

[TBJ333]

Yeah, you sound like my friend. Maybe I'll give her a call.

[creaky]

Maybe contolling her food intake is the only thing she feels like she can control right now. Maybe since she feels like everything is out of control, by controlling her food, she feels in control of one thing in her life. Maybe you can see if you can help her in her out of control areas. Probably when her life gets more into control then she won't feel such a need to control her food.

Christy

[TBJ333]

Yeah, I think you're right about what's going on inside her head.

She's the type to feel guilty about people helping her, and I've already offered to do so. I guess she just needs to deal with her issues, and she feels better if she does so alone.

Anyway, I don't have much hope for her going back to her normal eating patterns. She's kind of an all-or-nothing woman. Her change in diet isn't unhealthy, so I think she can keep it up for a long time. The change is drastic, though.

(I'm leaving out details because a person obsessed with food might read this forum. )