<deep sigh> OK, so today I am feeling frustrated. I went to run some errands for my boss (I work in San Francisco). Drove from Bernal Heights through Noe Valley to the Castro to UCSF then back through the Castro to Potrero Hill and then to Bay View/Hunters Point before going back to work. For those of you who don't know San Francisco, I basically covered...eh...about a third of the city if not more. And, at EVERY SINGLE TURN, there was yet another thing I had to say "no" to: donut shops, fancy pastry shops, two of my favorite Thai restaurants, cookies, soda, drinks with sugar, chocolate. And, at EVERY turn I had this little voice in my head that said "Why don't you stop here and get a treat?" and at every single turn I said "No."
I feel so angry at having to say "no" to my desires every day, at every turn, no matter where I go. And, I am feeling a wee bit like throwing myself a pitty party.
And the truth is that I don't always deny myself. I know that that is not the way to make a lifestyle change. I am working on "everything in moderation." And that is a good thing. After all, I had pizza for dinner on Sunday and a tiny chocolate brownie for dessert on Friday. So, it's not really all healthy food and veggies and low-fat this and low-fat that. Still, there is that voice in my head that won't shut up. The voice that got me to weigh 360 lbs. The voice that I have to constantly address. It's just that right now, I wish it weren't there so persistently all the time.
TGL: I sometimes have the same problem, especially just before and during my time of the month. I just concentrate on how great it feels to get healthy and be thinner. It FEELS better than an food could possibly TASTE. Besides, once you get used to eating healthy, you will find that some of those foods will become your favorites. For example, I can hardly go a day now without an apple. I used to prefer cookies or pastries, but now prefer the apple MOST of the time. (I still eat cookies once a week or so, in moderation)....and, with things like fresh fruit and vegetables, you can eat a lot and not feel guilty. BIG BONUS!!! My weight is at an all time high for me right now, but I know I can lose as much as i need to eventually. It is easier for me to think of this as a lifestyle change, (hence, i am not in a "hurry" to get it over and done with, as i would be on a "diet")
I love telling myself yes yes yes to size 6 pants. I also like saying yes to fresh raspberries, yes to non fat lattes, yes to natural peanut butter, yes to decadent ripe mangos, yes to glasses of red wine, yes to whole grain bread dipped in olive oil, yes to avocados, yes to fresh grilled asparagus, yes to home made sun dried tomato hummus...
I also try to reframe it as a "yes" -- I didn't say NO to the girl scout cookies and carrot cake yesterday, I said "yes" to the thing I want more -- a healthier me.
I don't always say "no" to the food either. Today I had a simply scrumptious garlic roll at lunch. But this time it was just one!
Look on the positive side, ThisGirl. The little nag kept throwing temptation after temptation at you and you had the strength to say a resounding NO! time after time. You should be very proud of yourself! Give yourself a pat on the back!
I know, it stinks to feel like you're deprived of the things "everyone else" can have. And it's so unfair that the not-so-good stuff is located on every corner, just beckoning to you. But you did a good job! And that's something to feel good about!
I can totally relate to what you are saying, but on the flip side there are all the other No's to being over 300 pounds. No you can't climb that set of stairs. No you can't get out of bed without your feet hurting. No you can't walk several blocks without being worn out. No you can't sit comfortably in that chair with arms. No you can't sit in that booth. No you can't get on that amusement park ride. etc. . .
When you are driving are you hungry? If not, why do all of those foods call out to you for you to have to say no to them? To me that would indicate you are hungering for tastes of things, but not necessarily food. I agree that there is no reason to deny ourselves things that we really want - the trick is figuring out if we really want them or if we are using them to try and fill some other hunger, some other need.
Also, I wanted to invite you over to the 300+ thread under support groups. Sometimes it helps to talk to others who know what it feels like to be over 300.
Hating the "No, No, No, No"
